


Improbable Games

by MT_HungerGames (MaryTagus)



Category: Hunger Games Series - All Media Types, Hunger Games Trilogy - Suzanne Collins, The Hunger Games (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-03-18
Updated: 2016-09-01
Packaged: 2018-05-26 16:29:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 67
Words: 102,648
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6247285
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MaryTagus/pseuds/MT_HungerGames
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Primrose Everdeen wasn't reaped. Katniss Everdeen doesn't take her place and is left behind to deal with her new found feelings for Peeta Melark.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. A Girl from the Seam and a Merchant Boy

**Author's Note:**

> The idea for this AU came from "One Victor" by JavisTG (javis). At the moment "One Victor" has 5 Chapters and I don't have a clue where the fic is going.
> 
> With JavisTG (javis) wonderful premise I started to evolve in a slight different take.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Primrose Everdeen wasn't reaped. Katniss Everdeen, following her need to thank the male tribute Peeta Mellark, for the bread that once save hers and her sister's lives takes every step she can to, first, thank him and then to help him by facing a drunk Haymitch Abernathy.

A Reaping day was never a good day and this one, this year, was one I had dreaded for years. It was Prim first reaping day. Sweet, beautiful, calm, young Prim. My baby sister.

“Your name is only going to be in the bowl once, Prim. The odds are in your favor.” For once I found myself repeating Effie Trinket words without a mocking accent. Whiling them to come true.

Now that we are in the square under the scorching sun I know they did. They did came true as Lily Macon slowly walks up the stairs and a wave of relief starts to flood me. Until I recall Gale is not yet free from being reaped. With 42 entries on what is his last year, the odds aren’t exactly in his favor.

“Peeta Melark”

As Effie Trinket reads the male tribute name the wave of relief recedes fast and unexpectedly.

The urge to scream urges forward without notice but not without reason. Peeta Melark, the only person, in the entire District, that reached to my aid when I needed the most. 

When times were of desperate hunger, right after my father died and my mother lost herself in grief, no one else but him came to give me aid and hope. I owe him my life, Prim’s life. That is the debt I owe Peeta.

He's my age, the baker’s middle son. On Reaping Day in 12 the odds are always in favor of the richer kids, the ones that didn’t register for tesserae, but here he is, side by side with Effie Trinket and Lily, walking into the Justice Building and to his death. No… he can still make it. He's strong and with the right guidance and support he can make it.

Haymitch Abernathy stumbles after the tributes into the Justice Building making my hopes fade. Peeta won’t get guidance or support, as District 12 tributes have a drunk for mentor.

The thought of never seeing Peeta again gains momentum as does the chastising for my lack of recognition of his selfless act.

I hadn’t thanked him for saving my life, my all family lives. I wanted it to, countless times, but I never could gather myself to walk up to him and do it. I'm from the Seam he's from the richer part of town, an unbelievable wedge separates us.

The thought of owing him, that he could die without knowing how grateful I am to him is unbearable.

“I’m free, Catnip.”

A smiling, happy Gale is at my side. His happiness deceiving and temporary, soon he will recall his brothers and sister that can be reaped next year or the next, and he will be back to his ranting about the awfulness of the Games. Like the Sun between the Winter clouds Gale’s moment of pure joy is to be rejoiced and celebrated, but I find I am lacking the happiness he deserves as my thoughts are inside the Justice Building, with a boy I barely know and with whom I’d never talked before.

“Congratulations Gale. I’m very happy for you.”

“You don’t look like it. Is it Prim? Look at her, she’s enjoying herself. Free from her first Reaping.”

A look to where my sister stands tells me his right. Prim has a shining smile on her lips as her friends gather around her. My mom is next to her talking to Hazelle, Gale’s mother. A flashing thought urges me to rush to the Justice Building, I have to thank him, before he goes away. My mother will make sure Prim's safe.

“I’ll meet you later, Gale.”

“Katniss? Where are you going?”

“I’ll meet you at the meadow.”

I have only one more chance to thank Peeta Melark and the window is closing fast.

“Peeta Melark…”

A full Peacekeeper attired Darius looks at me, puzzled. I know him from the Hob, a place he's not suppose to go to except to arrest everyone, but still his there more often than not, trading.

“I don’t know…”

“Please.”

“He has no more time and… you’re not family.”

“Please, Darius.”

As a woman walks out of the room, her face vaguely familiar, Darius checks the clock.

“Just for a minute, Katniss.”

I walk inside rushed by the urgency on Darius voice.

Peeta is looking out, through the window, I can see the glistening streaks of tears down his face.

“Peeta…” 

With a start he turns to me. Surprise, shock and something else I can't identify takes over him. 

“Katniss.”

“I couldn’t let you leave without…”  I struggle to get enough air to my lungs “…without thanking you.”

A sad smile crosses his lips.

“For the bread?”

“For saving my life.” Heavy tears flow freely down my cheeks. I can’t get them to stop. Breathing is becoming harder every second.

“Hey, breathe.” I didn’t even notice when he came closer but his arms around me, comforting, are welcome, and surprisingly, steady and strong. “I’m the one saying goodbye to the world.”

I wrap my arms around his neck heaving myself closer to his ear.

“Don’t say that. Don’t even think that. You can win this. You are strong, smart and you know how to fight.”

We step out of the embrace, just our hands holding strong, as he takes in my words.

“Katniss, have you seen the Games?”

“Yes, I have. They are a show, they need to be worked as a show. I’ve seen you before, handling people. You can do this.”

Peeta sits back near the window, eyes still trained on me.

“My mother as another opinion.”

“Your mother is wrong.”

And for the first time since I walked in his smile is a heartfelt one.

“It wouldn’t be the first time.”

Behind me the door opens and Peeta turns somber.

“It’s time.” Cray’s voice a command, quickly followed by two Peacekeepers in full gear taking to each side of a now tearless Peeta and walking out.

I follow them out, slower.

“Did you get to say what you wanted?”

“Yes. Thank you.”

“I didn’t know you knew each other?”

Darius wouldn’t call it prying but it is. Moreover I know my answer would be conveyed to Gale, they have a kind of friendship going on that seems too odd for me to understand.

“My mother knows his father.” It's not a total lie. My mother was a merchant daughter and, as far as I know, they could have been friends, while she lived in town.

“Oh.”

Another course of action feels necessary. One I wouldn’t dare enforce if it weren’t for the faint warmth of Peeta’s body against mine that lingers on my skin.

“Where’s Haymitch?”

“Oh, I almost forgot about him.”

Darius turns to another Peacekeeper from 12, Janus, with a signal to a door across the hall.

“We’ll have to carry him.”

“Give me a second.” I march more than walk to the door he just signal to.

“Katniss, this is getting a bit much.”

“He will walk… after I’m done with him.”

"Just leave him alive, will you."

With Janus mocking face and Darius laugh I enter the room.

Haymitch is laying on the couch, dead drunk. A pitch of water sits over the desk with two glasses, one already used. I don’t even make an effort to wake him as the pitch of water is so inviting. As I pour the water over his head the knife blade cuts the air barely missing me as his scream echoes the building.

“What is going on…”

He looks around fixating his eyes on the pitch still firmly gripped in my hand. If worse comes to worse it's not a bad weapon.

“Who are you?”

“Katniss Everdeen.”

He struggles to straighten himself in front of me.

“Ms. Everdeen, your fame precedes you. I've hear of you... at the Hob.”

The small pause, the reference to the Hob, is he trying to scare me?

“Is this your way to warn me I can be arrested?”

That seems to wake him up. He even manages to look offended.

“I’m no snitch.”

“No, you are a drunk.”

“Can’t argue with facts.”

He pulls out the ever present flask and fills the used glass. I should had guess the glass wasn't use to drink water.

“You should be a mentor. Until now you hardly mentor anyone. Not this year, Mr. Abernathy.”

His laugh fills the room. Making my anger rise as I take a step closer forcing him to look at me.

“This year, these games you are going to mentor to the best of your capabilities.”

“Or…”

He pulls the glass to his lips but my next words stop him.

“You know what my big advantage is?”

“Not really.”

“I can kill from a very long distance.” animals, but he doesn't need to know that.

I guess my fame did precede me for he takes a step back, swallowing hard and setting the glass back on the table.

“I mentor as I can every year, sweetheart. But our tributes are weak, with no skills, no strength.” 

He looks almost as defeated as the tributes.

I too take a step back, considering the previous year’s tributes from 12, all underfeed Seam kids, with no special capabilities, and for the first time I take a glimpse on what must be Haymitch Games experience while mentoring. The mere thought makes me regret my coming to call him out.

“I apologize, Mr. Abernathy.”

“You should, but… is she a friend of yours?”

He thinks I came here for Lily? Why? She is exactly like the previous tributes. Pale, under feed, and she adds not very bright to the mix; if I would believe some of the conversations I overheard.

“Peeta’s strong, he's smart, with the right support he may make it.”

“I will do what I can. No need for a death threat.”

“Thank you.” As I walk to the door, Haymitch voice stops me.

“If he’s anything like you he will win, for sure.”

“He isn't anything like me, and that’s why he will win.”

Darius and Janus are waiting by the door, I guess Haymitch scream alarmed them for they both look relieve to see me walk out unharm.

“He’s up and walking perfectly. A bit wet though.”


	2. Confusing thoughts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Katniss joins all Seam residents after watching the train that took Peeta disappear in the distance. For the first time Gale asks her to dance filling Katniss with a all new set of emotions she can quite put together. Her mother and Prim don't make it easy and Katniss ends up standing outside the bakery looking in to Peeta's father grieving eyes.

Every Reaping Day the Meadow turns to a bright and happy place as all the people from the Seam flood the field, playing old instruments and dancing. The exceptions are Reaped kid’s families and grieving ones.

In a District where all days are working days the opportunities to enjoy an afternoon out in the Sun, enjoying each other’s company are rare and for that reason celebrated.

I arrive the Meadow, where the party is at its highest, after following the train carrying Peeta with my eyes until it became invisible in the distance.

“Katniss.”

Gale's call comes from the opposite side. Avoiding the improvised dance floor while searching for my mother and sister, I join Gale.

“They are over there.”

Gale, my hunting partner, my friend, he knows me better than I know myself.

“Manage to do what you needed?”

“Yes. The debt I owed is now paid.” It's only part of what had happen but it's the part he would understand. The part I, myself, understand.

He nods in assent. He understands the need of paying one's debts.

“Good. Dance with me.”

“You sure?”

“Why the doubt? Can’t you dance? If you can’t dance it’s time you learn.”

“I can dance… with Prim.”

He smiles with a content I can’t quite understand.

“Then it’s time you have a new dance partner.”

He looks up to the dance floor where Prim is dancing with Gale’s brother, Rory.

“She’s starting early.”

“Or you're starting late.”

“I’m not starting late.”

He just laughs taking my hand and driving me to the dance floor.

For the second time in the same day I feel a man’s arms around me. It dawns on me that Peeta was the first man, after my father, a long time ago, that hold me in his arms.

In all the times spent with Gale in the woods, hunting, we had never embraced or hold each other that way.

That's why I’m taken by surprise by Gale's gentle grasp, the softness of his skin under my fingers, the smile of sheer happiness I can see sparkling in his gray Seam eyes. I want to rest my head on his shoulder and let the music flood me, taking away all the worries, all the concerns, all but the way Gale is holding me and the Sun is warming up my skin.

As the afternoon dies orange with the setting Sun, people head home.

“See you tomorrow?”

“Be there early, Catnip. I don’t have much time.”

“I will. I promise.”

He stops for a beat.

“Katniss, I wish I could keep us both in this afternoon.”

As he turns to join his mother and siblings my eyes follow him. I wouldn’t want this day to repeat itself, Peeta is heading for the Capitol, Haymitch is with him but I’m not sure I can trust him, Prim will soon understand Lily dies for us all to be safe for another year, Gale is going to start working in the mine, deep down the bowels of the Earth where, one day, both our fathers died.

“Katniss, let’s go home.”

Prim takes my arm walking me to my mother and then home.

“Gale likes you, Katniss.”

“He’s my friend, Little Duck.”

“I like Gale. Every girl in school envies you because of him.”

I have to smile. Gale is a looker no doubt about it and the little girls heads are full of romantic dreams. But life isn’t romance; life is a day to day reaping the only difference being we can fight for our survival.

“Prim’s right, Katniss. Gale cares for you.”

Like Prim, my mother is a romantic. Her love for my dad lead her to leave the comfort of being a merchant's daugther and follow a life of strugle and sometimes hunger. A life she now carries alone after my father died. On those dark times the true nature and depth of her love showed. In her love there was no room for anyone else but my father as she abandon me and Prim, at the time no more than a toddler, and went to a World far from our reach. It was left for me to struggle to ensure our survival, my resources so limited, that one day taken by hunger I even tried to sell Prim's baby clothes, tokens of better times.

But nobody traded me for them, and after days without food, I felt myself slip into oblivion, too exhausted and weak. Right then, like sunshine trough rain clouds, a shade of hope, two loaves of bread fell in front of me. Peeta had given me the hope and the strength to go on.

The next day was the first time I ventured alone in the woods, I knew some of its secrets as my father took me with him often but still it wasn't until I meet Gale that I ventured deeper into it. Gale and I worked as a team, lead by the same purpose, provide for our family. Still, in the eyes of the law we were both criminals. 

As all of my life changed, my mother was still unreachable to us. She hardly eat, if she was alone I was almost sure she would let herself die. Prim was the one that slowly brought her back.

We are home, alone in the kitchen, when I answer her.

“You shouldn't enforce Prim's daydreams, mom.”

“Your sister is entitle to dream about love, Katniss. We all do. Only some of us get it for real.”

I don't want to have it for real. I know the consequences of it.

"I don't."

“Katniss…”

I can’t breathe. I have to leave.

“I’m going outside.”

I'm already out the door when Prim’s calling reaches me.

“Katniss, where are you going?”

I wander around until I stop in front of the bakery. The lights are out, the house, silent. On a regular night Mr. Mellark would be starting to get the oven ready for the next morning but this isn’t a regular night. A hand moves a curtain and, like he had heard my thoughts, Mr. Mellark's face looks down at the street. His eyes fell to me, weary, grieving eyes I can’t avert. I feel my eyes turning watery once again, the loss his too great to be contained inside the bakery walls. Without a word Mr. Mellark drops the curtain and hides himself from me.

I sit there looking at the cakes Prim loves to watch. It would be a while until there were happy flowers on the cake decorations.

 

My house is silent when I come back. My dinner cold, protected from the cat under a bowl. Cinders still warm enough to heat it a bit but I'm too exhausted to do it, I just eat it cold.

“Katniss? Are you alright? I wasn’t teasing you about Gale. Sorry you felt I was.”

“I know you weren’t, Prim.”

“Why did you argue with mom them? Wasn’t it about Gale?”

“Yes… No. Not really. It’s complicated.”

“Too complicated for me to understand?”

“At this time its too complicated for me, Prim.”

“Can I help?”

“Don’t know, Little Duck. Don’t think so.”

I struggle to sleep, all day events coming to me bundled together adding to my nightmares.


	3. In the woods

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Katniss doesn't manage to sleep that night, haunted by death. She steps out into the woods where Gale says goodbye to the world he always knew. It dawns on Katniss that she can lose them both.

It was still dark when I crossed the fence to the woods. After a sleepless night where Peeta haunted my dreams taking turns with my father in death, night was still far away from dawn when I gave up on sleep and carefully slipped off the bed I shared with Prim.

Silently got dressed; boots, jacket, game bag and, after a last glimpse to my sister’s peaceful figure I walked through the kitchen and stepped outside.

This early it was quite safe to walk around, everybody still sleeping at their cozy beds, the mine horn still a couple of hours from sounding. Peacekeepers were probably enjoying themselves far away from the Seam. District 12 was a quiet District no major security issues which a supposedly electrified fence for frontier seemed to confirm.

That same fence is now behind me as I step into the woods and walk deep into them. I could pull the small flashlight I carry on my game bag but the familiar path hides no secrets from me. I sit on our spot and wait for dawn.

Peeta must still be on the train. Will he be sleeping? Will he be looking out the window watching new unknown landscapes pass him by, flying. My entire world is 12; people in 12 only get to go to any other district if they go on some delivery transport or if they are reaped. From other districts the only thing I know is what I’ve learn at school, as for landscapes, I rely on the pictures from school books older than my parents.

Dawn’s approaching. I close my eyes enjoying the birds singing, calling the Sun to come up. In just a few seconds the sky turns soft pink.

“Hi, Catnip.”

It takes Gale warm body against mine to notice how cold I am. We sit still for a few more minutes listening to the beautiful singing and watching as the sunlight keeps turning the sky brighter.

“You’re here early.”

“Couldn’t sleep.” I could have said I had promised him I would be early but that would be lying.

“I could hardly sleep either. I could only see dark. I could only find myself confine in a coal dark mine corridor.”

I turn to find him, cold, still, enveloped in his night terrors. His nightmare dreads me as much as my own.

“I’m going to miss this, Catnip. I’m going to miss the woods... and you.”

There is only one good answer for this and I can’t give it to him, not to him. I rest my head on his shoulder wrapping his left arm with my own arms as the first rays of sun light come off the distant horizon. I feel his head resting on mine with a sigh.

“We have to get going. My shift starts in 3 hours.”

In two hours Gale explains to me how to reset his snares. From now on I will be the one making the snares route as he will be closed in the mine that haunts both our dreams.

Our daily haul is compiled of rabbits, squirrels, anything that falls into Gale’s snares really; my daily hunt; our gathering and provides for both our families. With Gale working all day I will have to work double hard to keep both our families fed.

“I’m out of time. Have to go back.”

“I’ll go with you.”

“No.” his voice is harsh almost a command “I… You need to go hunt, Katniss. And I need to…” he didn’t need to say it. Like Peeta the day before he needs to say goodbye to this world, to his precious woods.

“Meet you later?”

“Yeah.” Gale takes a step towards me pressing his lips on my forehead before turning to leave.

Like the day before, with Peeta's train, I watch until Gale disappears in the trees. My legs seem unable to hold me up anymore. Peeta was taken to the Games, Gale to the mines. Both of them are able to survive but both are walking into a place of infinite dangers where death is lurking in every corner. My thoughts go to Peeta, though, his situation so much worse, he's going to be hunted for others entertainment. And I will watch, every minute of it, we all have to watch. I recall Gale's ranting against the Capitol, he's right, the Games are meant to scare us, terrify us into submission. I'm a Capitol slave.

It's late afternoon when I cross the fence back into District 12. I head to Gale’s home to find Hazelle working hard over the washing board. It was her work that provided her family with food at first, before Gale started to haul enough for them to survive, but still Hazelle is a bright woman, she kept working. She knew there could be a time when Gale wouldn’t be around. I would never let them starve but she had 3 more kids to feed and care for so she kept working, washing clothes.

“Hi.”

“Katniss.”

Two mugs with tea already waiting for us at the table.

“How was your first day alone?”

Hard, especially watching Gale stepping out of the woods like he was never coming back.

“All right.”

I can tell Hazelle doesn’t quite believe me but she doesn’t pursue the issue.

“Good hunting day, then?”

“Quite good.” I pull out Gale’s share of the haul and set it on the table.

“Nice beaver.”

“You can even sell the fur.”

“Katniss. I’m worried about Gale. He looked terribly sad this morning when he left for the mines. Did something happen between you two?”

“It’s the mines, Hazelle. Come Sunday we will both be making or regular run.”

It's not the answer she was looking for but it was all I could offer her. I finish my tea leaving Hazelle with a promise to get back the next day.


	4. Tributes Parade

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's the Tributes Parade Mandatory Viewing time. Katniss joins Gale in District 12 square to watch and get a first glimpse on the other tributes, specially on the Career Pack Tributes (Districts 1 and 2).

Mandatory Viewing was upheld in all the Districts. School children and workers from the mine were released from their duties to watch the TV broadcast.

The Hunger Games had schedule Mandatory Viewing times for special events, before and after the actual games, and, during the games themselves, a highlights program every night.

Time for Mandatory Viewing was all stop time and everyone had to be watching. Either home or in the square.

The Tributes Parade was one of the special events and was scheduled to start just before sun down; I joined Gale in the square to watch it.

It was mostly a ridiculous spectacle where the tributes were propped and dressed up, with clothes identifying their districts, by Capitol stylists. Invariably District 12 tributes showed up dressed as coal miners.

“Want to bet how they will be dressed?”

“It’s a fool's bet, Gale. I’m no fool.”

He smiled at me.

“No, that you are not. And then maybe they will be naked, then what?”

I’ve obliterated that Parade from my mind; the year they weren’t dressed at all but just painted black, like they were coal themselves.

“Don’t remind me.”

The image of Peeta, naked, in front of all Panem, flashes before my eyes. The mere thought of it makes my blood run faster and my face feels too hot.

“With the amount of naked people that goes through your house to be treated by your mother how can you get so embarrassed on my joke?”

It wasn’t his joke, really. It was the image of Peeta that it conjured inside my head.

“Shut up.”

Gale just laughs. After that morning I am happy to see him laugh, all shadows lifted from his sparkling eyes.

“Here we go."

Gale calls my attention to the screen as the show is starting and Caesar Flickerman fills the screen.

"Caesar hasn’t age a bit. Is that blue hair?” 

It was blue. And Gale's right the man never ages. Year after year he looks exactly the same. Except for the hair, that is always a different color every year.

“At least it’s a nice color.”

“Hair should not be blue, Katniss. It’s not natural.”

“What part of the games is natural?”

“Death.”

I’m sure I looked in total shock with his answer.

“We all have to die, Katniss.”

“Not this way.”

“Each tribute is saving lives, Katniss. Peeta saved my live this year, in a way. Saving lives is an honorable way to die.”

Gale’s logic is black and white as it usually is. To me nothing is natural in the games. All is forced and is either too awful or too ridiculous.

Caesar Flickerman goes on explaining how the Games are a key uniting point of all Panem after the Dark Days, when all Districts rebelled against the Capitol and lost, costing hundreds of lives. Then he turns to identify the Gamemakers, the stylists, the mentors. I only note District 12 stylists, Cinna for Lily, Portia for Peeta; and Haymitch name. And there he is taking over the screen, flask in hand, next to Chaft, District 11 mentor; probably drunk already. My heart sinks.

“There’s District 1. The girl’s gorgeous.”

Blond wavy hair. So different from anyone in District 12. I could see why Gale is impressed by her beauty but I could also see the cold determination in her eyes, a telltale of what she is, a trained killer.

District 1 kids are trained since early age to be fighters, killers, as are District 2 kids; even if that is supposedly against the rules the Gamemakers look the other way as the training benefits the Capitol lap dogs that are Districts 1 and 2. They're tributes are always volunteers; I have the feeling kids fight amongst themselves on who will volunteer that year. Knowing the preparation their kids go through those two districts tributes are called Career Pack by the rest of us.

The other half of the Career Pack followed suite and impressed me the most. Both the girl cold determination and the boy implicit physical strength and cockiness. They were both impressive and scary. I fell a chill down my spine.

“Wow. District 2 better themselves this year.”

District 1 female tribute no longer occupies Gale’s mind as he focus on District 2 tributes odds. And odds are with them, no doubt about that.

“I would be tempted to bet on them… if I was a Capitol citizen.” I volunteer.

“I’m sad to say I would even bet on them as a District 12 citizen.”

“Oh? And what about the girl from 1? Are you dropping her that fast?” I tease, Gale doesn’t disappoint. Straightening his back he just mumbles about appreciating beauty not being the same as appreciating killer skills.

He’s wrong. Beauty can be a killer skill if used correctly and I’m betting the girl from 1 knows how to use it correctly.

Tributes chariots drive past, Caesar makes an eulogy of every one of them, highlighting the impressing features from each tribute but mainly focusing on the stylists work as the tributes become less impressing after District 2.

The spectacle is a pitiful one to me. Who dresses scared kids walking to their death in shining kilts of bright colors?

My heart gets tighter and my breathing becomes shallow as the time for District 12 Chariot approaches. Soon it will be Peeta paraded in front of all Panem.

The sight of District 11 female tribute makes me gasp. A small girl, not older than Prim, frail, struggling to stand up tall but her eyes reflecting the fear she can’t show. At her side, the opposite, the boy has the body build of a Career only his eyes keep throwing small glimpses at the small girl at his side showing a care and concern a Career would never have.

And then it’s District 12 time but the only thing I can see is light, fire burning from coal. I have to focus to understand Lily and Peeta are the coal and the fire burns out of them. For a split second I’m afraid the stylists messed up and they are really burning, but it’s just a stage trick; a good one.

I hardly recognize Peeta; soft blond curls frame his face adding to his striking features as his hair picks up some of the glowing from the flames, a smile on his face that makes his eyes shine as he waves to the crowd. I knew he could own the crowd and turn it to his advantage and that is exactly what he’s doing as it explodes crying out his name.

Lily, hand held with Peeta, waves around smiling, just like Peeta. She looks dreamlike. A pale slender figure enveloped in flames. She looks striking in the dying daylight. Even so,  none of who watches can really consider her a real contender.

“We got good stylists this year.”

The cameras focus on Haymitch for a few seconds, enough for me to see him pull the flask to his lips one more time. But this time I can see something more, a calculating glimpse to the crowd reaction. My hope swells as I understand that Haymitch now sees what I already knew, Peeta can give them the show they want and can raise support unlike any of the tributes he had to work with before.

“Yes.”

“It won’t really matter much on the arena though.”

“They may get sponsors.”

Gale turns to me, grave faced

“Katniss, odds are they won’t survive the bloodbath.”

The image of the Career Pack members comes to mind and I fight to keep breathing. Gale’s right. But something deep inside keeps nagging that it can’t be so, Peeta will survive, he must live.


	5. The one believer

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Katniss goes by working hard, with hard runs to get the haul needed to feed two families.  
> As Katniss joins Prim for a go into town she's shocked on how Peeta's family already mourns him; he's already dead for his family. Katniss realizes she's the only one that believes he can come back home.

Running the snares line, hunting, and gathering. My days turned so much busier than usual, and lonelier.

I hardly have time to spend at home, with Prim. I try to not anticipate how things will be when school starts, there's no point in worrying before hand. With any luck I would have been able to set a routine that takes less time than I'm taking now. As it is it takes me most of the day, hardly anytime left to attend to other needs.

“Katniss, can you go with me to town? We need some supplies.”

We are sitting at the kitchen table eating dinner when Prim soft voice utters this almost pray. Our mother, the Seam healer, is in her room taking a look at a patient, Mrs. Grey, before joining us, the women’s husband went home but will be back after dinner time.

Prim had been confined to the house since Reaping Day. Even exhausted as I feel I can’t deny her.

“Tomorrow?”

I will cut short the hunting time, target easier preys.

Her eyes light up making my heart swell.

“Thank you.”

“But you have to wait for me to come back. I don’t know how long I will take.”

“You miss Gale don’t you?”

Yes I do more than I ever thought I would.

“He makes the snares run look so easy.”

Prim smile makes me uncomfortable. Recalling our previous talk about Gale I'm affraid she may be building a far from real romantic scenario in her head. As my mother joins us the talk shifts to Prim’s enquires about Mrs. Grey. Prim is a healer in the making, always concern about the sick and wounded, always interested in the ways to heal and soaking up all my mother’s teachings. Healing is their world, that I gladly stay out of.

I can't handle the sick and wounded, I'm powerless and lost on the course of action to take; when they arrive I just find something to do outside, it's not hard, there's always the woods to escape to.

Its midafternoon the next day when I drop Gale’s haul over at Hazelle’s and head home. After our talk on the first day Gale was in the mines our relationship turned back to the regular circumstantial talk, no personal questions or prying ones.

Prim is expecting me, ready to leave.

“Wait just a bit.”

I rush to take off my father’s jacket and hunting boots, dropping the game bag with my haul on the way. I take the time to wash up, at least the showing parts as the smell of the woods clings to every part of me, deep into my soul.

“Let’s go.”

A happy Prim walks at my side. She greets just about everyone that crosses our path. Everyone knows her; everyone loves her. All the social skills my family have are condensed in Prim. None was left for me.

We make the run to get bandages and some other needed things like buttons and needles. It takes more than double the time that would take me as Prim always inquires on the merchant’s families and everyone just revels in talking to her about their small health problems. In town the health issues are generally small, the Seam has the real serious issues.

“Is that all?”

The Sun light is fading fast.

“That’s all we need.”

“Then let’s go home. I would like to get you home before dark.”

She starts walking but not for home.

“Just one small stop.”

“Prim, no. It’s late.”

She wants to go see the cakes at the bakery, for some reason I can’t fathom I don’t want to go anywhere near the bakery.

“Just a minute. No more than a minute. Promise.”

I tread slowly after her, haunted by Peeta’s face laying in front of me, pale, still, forever out of my reach. The face that keeps me awake at night, every night of late.

Prim’s disappointed sigh calls me out of my nightmare.

“There are no cakes.”

There are cakes but regular ones not the decorated she loves to admire.

“Peeta did those.”

Mr. Mellark’s voice makes me start. Since I saw him the night of the Reaping it’s the first time we are face to face. I’ve been avoiding the bakery, even with some squirrels to bargain and Peeta’s father usually waking good trade.

“None of us as quite the same hand he did.”

It shocks me that he talks like Peeta is already dead. He’s not dead, he's very much alive. His in the Games but he can still survive; he’s in the Capitol being trained.

During this period of training we don’t know anything that is going on. Evening Mandatory Viewing is only Ceaser discussing with supposed experts from the Capitol about the Tributes.

The general opinion is that the Career Pack as good chances this year but District 11 male tribute may have a say in the matter. They make few references to District 12 tributes and when they do it’s to notice the way Peeta conquered the crowd turning himself into a serious contender for sponsors which can make him a public favorite and hence forth a contender to be reckoned with. They recall Finnick Odair and the way the Game turned in his favor when a sponsor offered him a trident.

But Peeta’s father looks like a father in mourning. Like he already buried his middle son. The realization hangers me making me sound harsh.

“Prim we must go home.”

Prim tenses at my side, undoubtedly hurt by my unexpected outburst. But it’s Mr. Mellark surprise, and… is it shame? that registers the most.

As I walk away with Prim, excusing myself, for the way I talked before, I hear the gentle acceptance on Peeta’s words “My mother as another opinion.” and feel the stab of how true they are. Peeta’s family isn’t expecting him back, they already let him go. It dawns on me that I’m the only one in District 12 that believes he may come back as once he was the only one helping me survive.


	6. Do you love him?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's Gale's first day off. Katniss finds Darius told Gale about her visit to Peeta and is shocked by his question "Do you love him?".

Sunday couldn’t come sooner. I managed the snares line to the best of my ability but, there were some I must be resetting wrong as I keep finding them undone but without a catch. I need Gale to explain them to me once more.

Gale has a deep understanding of how animals react and has become an expert in death traps. Enough of an expert to scare me sometimes.

“See it’s simple. We just set some diversion here and the animals move directly into our trap.”

“That doesn’t seem fair, Gale.”

“It’s survival, Katniss. We need game for our families to survive.”

He’s right. I know he’s right. But nevertheless some of his dead traps are scary as I put myself in the position of the game and find I would act just like it.

I recall the time I confided my thoughts to Gale. How he nodded and answered “Humans and animals are very alike in some ways, Katniss. You’re right; I could easily use it on people.”

His voice cold, unattached, sent a chill through my body.

Back to the present I notice the sun as left the protection of the horizon. And there’s no sign of Gale. I turn to where the path opens to the clearing. And found him there, looking at me. He doesn’t smile, he doesn’t move even if he is aware I’ve notice him already. I stay as frozen as he is, puzzled by his behavior.

“We should go.”

No acknowledgement of my presence, no greeting, just the practical action. I remain more puzzled than ever as he turns heading for the first snare. I follow him focusing on the hunt and not on his strange behavior.

We run the snare line, I redo every snare, Gale explains the details I’m missing and I’m convinced I’ve done a better job this time.

Hunting with Gale is so much better. It dawns on me that we are following his death trap schemes as he scares a fawn in order to flush the male dear out where he finds my accurate arrow. It’s a clean shot. Gale’s knife doesn’t have to finish the kill, just clean the game.

Gale barely talks to me while we take care of the dear, preparing it for transport and sale.

As we sit back on our spot to eat I find his silence as been long enough.

“What’s going on Gale?”

“Nothing really. You? Anything you'll like to share?”

Do I have anything I want to tell Gale? I can’t remember anything that went on concerning him.

“N…” can he be questioning me on not telling him about my visit to Peeta?

I see is knowing sad smile.

“I had to find out in front of everyone when Darius mention it by chance.”

I can see he’s upset. I didn’t tell him. But then I don’t have to share everything in my life with him. Do I?

“I thought you and I shared everything. I guess I was wrong.”

“Gale…”

“Don’t Katniss. Don’t apologize it will only make it worst. Just tell me, I must know this much, do you care for him? Do you love him?”

Where did this come from? I don’t love Peeta… I care from him, I worry about him, I wake up terrified after watching him die countless times every night… can I be in love with Peeta? 

“No. No. I don’t love anyone. I can’t love anyone.” I almost scream. More to myself than to Gale but I immediately notice the way blood drains from his face and his breath catches.

“Why not?”

“I live terrified of not being able to keep Prim alive, the day Prim would be reaped. I can just focus on survival, Gale.  I can’t think of anyone like that.”

“One day Prim is going to be free, Katniss. What then?”

“I don’t know, Gale. I just know I can’t.” I don’t mention that having kids that would face the reaping is something I would never do. That in itself stops me from loving anyone. Explaining this to Gale would only upset him more.

With a sigh he moves setting his right leg on the stone to support his arm, silence falls between us.

The walk back to District 12 is a tense one. Gale lost in thoughts, far from my reach.

In town we make the rounds on merchant’s houses. Its good trade especially at the butcher, dear meat is a delicacy and the butcher is always fair with us.

We finish at the Hob, the black market of 12.

“Hi.”

“Katniss, Gale. Anything good?”

We both laugh. For Grease Sae everything is good, she manages to conjure up soups from everything, even wild dog.

“Some.”

Gale passes her a bag with a beaver.

“Nice.”

She and Gale bargain for a bit, more because she likes to bargain than for real need to bargain. Being the only one that takes anything we catch we would allow her to pay a bit less but she’s always fair.

“That’s settle than. Now have some soup you two.”

It feels wonderful and hot.

“Katniss, I seem to recall you owe me?”

Darius teasing question nags me more than usual. I find I can’t surpass that Darius told Gale about me visiting Peeta.

“I seem to recall you didn’t have to carry a drunk.”

Gale looks at us questioningly. I guess Darius only told him about Peeta, not Haymitch.

“Fair enough. He did walk. How did you get him that wet?”

“He needed a bath.” I'm still upset with him but he did help me that day. Thanks to Darius I got to talk to Peeta.

Darius laughs.

“Indeed he did. Next year I have to remember to have a bucket of water standing by.”

At the mention of next year Reaping Day my teeth clench and I tense. I’m still dealing with this year Reaping Day consequences and Darius is already talking about next year's like it's nothing.

“Katniss, breathe.” Gale’s words riddle with concern snap me awake in front of Greasy Sae worried eyes.

“It’s okay, I’m okay.”

“No you’re not, Katniss. None of us ever is.”

Gale looks up to Greasy Sae that turns away as soon as she finishes her statement.

Darius isn’t from the Districts he wasn’t subjected to Reaping's, nor will his family; it’s hard for him to understand the effect it has on the rest of us. For him it’s just another work day.

As we step outside and Gale walks me home he finally tells me what’s in his mind since we left the woods.

“If you are never going to be free of the Reaping terror, Katniss; are you ever going to be able to love anyone?”

“I don’t know, Gale.”

He looks defeated when we say our goodbyes in front of my house.

Inside I find my mother looking out the window.

“You saw that didn’t you?”

“You told him.”

It isn’t a question.

“There’s one thing you’re not considering, Katniss. Love chooses you, it may come a time when you find yourself unable to say no to it.”

The romantic notions on my mother’s head are still strong even after all these years. For the first time, though, something inside tells me she may be right. And I don’t know how to fight it.


	7. Tributes Evaluation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's the night all Panem knows the tributes evaluation. Katniss now knows Peeta is fighting to comeback.

As Sunday was approaching fast, I had no idea what would happen between me and Gale. All I know is I need my friend and hunting partner. I need his support, I can see now how much I count on it since he first met me in the woods in my first hunting days. When he found a almost lost kid trying to fend by herself and feed her family, much like he did. Two kindred spirits brought together by similar purposes. But things are changing, that much I am aware, but there was no time to think about it further as I got increasingly anxious about Peeta and how he was coming through to the Gamemakers in training.

The training period of the Hunger Games ends with an individual evaluation on every tribute given by the Gamemakers, who have been monitoring their training, accessing their odds. This number, between 1 and 10, is important to sponsors. This number is key to Peeta survival. 

The day finally arrives. My thoughts far away, in the Capitol; my struggle to focus on the daily runs, a lost battle. The snares line takes me more time than usual as my hands seem to fail every step on the snares resetting, I just can't seem to get them as steady as usual. Tonight all Panem will know Peeta's evaluation. Tonight I will know if my hopes match his.

The day goes by in a daze, half the time I just act automatically, like a machine, no memory of my actions remains. It's dangerous to act like this, be like this, in the woods, hunting, so I cut the day short and spent a bit more time trading in the Hob trying to pay attention to the conversations but not quite successful.

As night falls we join everyone in the Square. I'll rather stay home and watch but Prim wanted to go to meet her friends and I just couldn't deny her request when she usually asks for so little. 

I spot Gale on his usual place next to his friends and now co-workers. The hesitation in joining him takes me by surprise. Gale is my friend, that didn't change, but something is definitely different, he started to change something between us. It was up to me to follow up on the change or to stop it, I choose not to abide to his wish to change us, as I walk to join him. 

I can tell Gale is surprise to see me arrive but the reaction lasts only a split second before he takes a step closer, our shoulders touching, as they always do. I find Gale's body warmth comforting but unable to appease the anxiety that has been building up inside. 

Caesar Flickerman, takes over the screen as soon as the squeal announcing Mandatory Viewing stops. He's almost unrecognizable, sitting at a table, papers in hand only his upper body visible, his stance serious. 

As usual he starts by District 1 tributes. The Career pack gets evaluations between 9 and 10, like they usually do. They are always very well prepared and sponsors favorites. 

"No surprises there." 

I nod as breathing is becoming harder and I struggle to manage it the best way I can. 

The next high note is for Thresh, District 11 tribute. With his impressive body built there's no surprise there either. Rue, the small girl that so reminds me of Prim, gets a 7. 

"Well done. I wonder what's her special skill? Must be something." Gale is impressed and curious about her evaluation I for one smile to myself, happy for her. 

It's time for District 12 and my heart's already pounding against my ribs. 

"From District 12, Peeta Mellark... 8" 

I can hear the collective gasp of surprise. Peeta got the highest evaluation I remember for a District 12 tribute. I hardly notice Gale's glimpse to ascertain my reaction as the only thing I can think is what this evaluation means; Peeta hasn't given up, he's fighting for his survival, he's fighting to get back home, and with this number Haymitch will not abandon him. With this number my hope swells taking over me, overwhelming. In this moment I wished I was home, alone, with no prying eyes to inquire on my burst of happiness that I would then be free to show. As it is, surrounded by people, I found myself contained as Caesar proceeds with the announcements.

"From District 12, Lily Macon... 3" 

The flood of surprise that filled the crowd turns to sadness with Lily's evaluation. It isn't surprising but it's a dreadful beginning. Even if I was expecting something like this I still feel the pain of her grieving parents. But all the hope I have is for Peeta it was never for Lily, for her, even I have to face the reality, she's already dead, my only wish is for her to go fast and without pain.

"Tomorrow, interviews."

Interviews, I'm sure Peeta will have the Capitol and probably all Panem at his feet. 

"He got an 8, which was... unexpected, I have no idea what he may have shown to the Gamemakers."

Gale hasn't been paying attention to Peeta. Surprisingly I find that I was.

"He's strong."

"That he is. I've seen him carrying sacks of flour to that bakery countless times but... it's not all about strength, Katniss. You know that."

"No, it's also about sponsors and putting on a good show. He can be quite persuasive with people, that's good for sponsors. Haven't you seen him talking to crowds at school?" 

"I hardly call them crowds but I see what you mean. Tomorrow we'll see how he does on the interview. Will you be here?" 

"I'll be here." 

He turns to his family and starts walking towards them as I work on spotting Prim. His hesitant voice calling my name brings me back to face his clear Seam eyes.

"Katniss... Just... don't get your hopes up. Don't want to see you hurt."  

As I watch him joining his family, Prim catches my arm, my mother on her wake.

"How's Gale?" 

"Good." 

"Everything okay between you two." 

"Don't know. We are talking." 

"That's the most important, Katniss, communication." 

In the last days I've been listening a bit more to my mother. All these emotions going through me, all new and surprisingly extreme. She's the only one in my life that I think can help me understand them. Nevertheless I don't talk about Peeta at home the same way we don't talk about the games. 

"We communicate alright, mom." 

"Then there's still hope." 

 "I need him as my friend, mom." 

"Don't close yourself, Katniss. Open your heart, he will tell you if Gale's the right one." 

"Mom, me and Gale are not like that." 

"I'm just think you should be yourself and not confine your heart." 

I don't answer her. My heart isn't the problem, it keeps beating at a steady pace oblivious to all the hopes my mother seems to have for me and Gale. All the thoughts going through my mind, thoughts I call romantic and deemed impossible all my life, those are the real problem especially because I can't stop them. Even if I fight them all day they came back every night. 

"Katniss, where did you go?" 

"I'm here Prim." 

Prim had grown too fast, and her eyes gain a spark of knowledge that shocked me more times than not. 

"I was saying, I was impressed by Peeta's number. We all were." 

"Well, he is strong and more importantly he's smart and knows how to handle a crowd." 

"Didn't know you knew him that well, Katniss." 

"Neither did I, mom." 

"Not well. I remember seeing him around that's all." 

Both of them fall silent for a while. 

"I knew his father when I was younger." 

"A friend?" 

"More than that really. But then your father showed up and..." 

And she left everything behind to follow her love. 

"I was very sad for him when they read his son's name. He loves every single one of his sons to death." 

The image my mother has of Mr. Mellark isn't the same I have. For me he's a father that has buried his son when Peeta is still living and breathing and needing to know there are people waiting for him, believing in him, as I do.


	8. Interviews

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> For the first time since she can remember Katniss has a goodnight sleep after knowing Peeta is fighting. Katniss exchanges some words with Mr. Mellark after wich she takes Gale's place in trading him for squirrels.  
> By night Katniss joins Gale in the square to watch the tributes interviews like she told him she would. Only to regret her word as Peeta confession that there is a girl he likes in 12 but that she only noticed him the day of the Reaping causes avock and a turmoil of unknown emotions in her.

Prim wakes me. There's too much light outside. The Sun is already coming up startling me. How did I slept so late?

Hardly no nightmares that's why. My dreams left a wake of peacefulness that feels odd; it's like an alien looks at me from the mirror.

"Everything all right, Katniss?"

"Yeah. Just... not use to wake up this late."

"Be careful." I catch my mother's request as I shoot out the door. She's right I must be extra careful as everyone is already up on their daily tasks and workers are already in the mines.

I move with a loose stroll covering my tracks.

"Katniss... Katniss Everdeen."

Mr. Mellark is calling me from the back door of the bakery. I walk up to him not knowing what to expect. Thankfully he can't read my mind but I'm guessing my behavior last time we met didn't impress him.

"Mr. Mellark, Good morning."

"Good morning. Gale's in the mines. I gather you still go on... your usual tasks?"

"I do my best."

"If you find... you know... can you show it to me first?"

"Sure. I didn't think you wanted me coming by."

I glimpse inside, checking for his wife.

"Oh... I understand. It's safe. Today is safe."

I nod and turn going back to my usual path.

"Katniss..."

I turn to face an embarrassed Mr. Mellark.

"Don't judge pain you can't even begin to understand."

For a moment I ponder his words and finally I nod.

"I don't. I do judge the lack of faith."

"When does faith ends if not when all hope is lost?"

"Faith ends when the heart stops beating."

It's his turn to ponder. With a slight nod Peeta's father turns inside closing the door behind him.

By the end of the day I have two squirrels, fat and fluffy. Mr. Mellark takes one of them against a small bread.

"Send my regards to your mother, Katniss."

I will of course, it's a simple request from an old friend of hers.

"I won't see her in the square. I’m staying home tonight.”

As I walk home I can't help wishing I could stay home too; watching Peeta before he enters the arena with no strangers around me.  
Gale's ominous prediction haunts me "Odds are they won’t survive the bloodbath". I don't believe it, I cannot believe it but still the possibility exists.

 

The Square is full of people, naturally gathering in groups, by familiarity, by friendship. I spot Gale in the usual place.

 "Hi Catnip."

The relief I perceive makes me wonder if Gale doubted my promise from the day before.

"I told you I would be here."

"Well this is the last bit of spectacle we know they will all survive."

Tomorrow morning the tributes are entering the Arena and from then on the show's are going to be about death. The Fallen, the Survivors; the only thing they will focus on is the dead, how they died with every gory detail, the ones still alive and their odds to live another day.

That's exactly what Caesar explains to the crowd watching the show. From all the 24 tributes he's going to interview only one will be alive in a few weeks. As the Capitol crowd takes it with a smile, on 12 we take it with lump troughs and tears. So much waste, so many young lives wasted, every year.

As I watch the faces around me Caesar calls the first tribute, District 1, Glimmer.

"Wow, she's working her looks pretty well."

Glimmer looks like a small perky school girl. Gold curls bouncing on her head, golden light romantic dress, that ends much above her knee. Like I predicted she knows how to use her beauty as a weapon, and she's doing it to the crowd pretty effectively.

The rest of the Career pack doesn't pretend, they show their training, and how ready they are to win. Cato, district 2 male tribute is especially full of himself and arrogant, he's very hopeful he's going to win and he seems to have reason to.

Caesar keeps the conversation going, working the tributes wishes, getting a feel of who they are. He's especially nice with Rue, the sweet female tribute from 11. With her he even tries to get a glimpse of what is her especial skill, but she's vague about it.

"Caesar is as curious as we are about the little girl special skill."

"The Gamemakers probably think Thresh is going to protect her, Katniss."

"You think?"

"Not sure he will though. He has his own survival to consider."

"Maybe he likes her."

"Oh... he clearly cares for her but... that's the nature of the Games. They destroy from the inside Katniss. They change people, tributes, victors. No one is in the Arena or comes back exactly as they went in."

As Thresh enters the stage Gale’s attention shifts but his words dwell on me. Peeta; will he be different? If I am to trust Gale, he will, the boy that once took a beating to save me from hunger would be gone. I take a deep breath holding myself up right; he's facing worse things than coming back different. That worst fight he will win by himself, any other that comes his way he won't be alone to fight it.

“That guy is massive.”

Physical strength always impresses the crowd's. Caesar on the other hand is struggling, his efforts bring a smile to my lips.

“Go Thresh.”

“What?”

“I think Caesar has found his nemesis.”

A wicked smile touches Gale’s lips.

“The guy is giving him nothing.”

Thresh’s answers are monosyllabic Caesar as to make the conversation going all by himself, the exertion is showing on the sweat shining over his upper lip. His relief hardly hidden when Thresh time comes to an end.

“From District 12 our fire fairy, Lily Macon.”

Like he had done with Rue, Caesar is sweet with Lily showing her as the gentle soul she is. Lily talks about her parents and siblings with such kindness, such love and care always keeping a smile on her face. Everyone in the crowd is touched by it and by her.

She isn't a contender, not really, but her loss will take a toll on everyone that is watching her interview. It dawns on me I consider her already lost, my faith in her lacking, much like Mr. Mellark with Peeta, but... no it isn’t the same, he’s a parent. Parents are supposed to believe and have faith in their kids no matter what.

In front of the screen I can see the Macon’s smiling at their baby girl, twirling involved in the flame like shining that comes out of the beautiful dress she's wearing, amazed how pretty and well fed she looks, their hope unconditional until the end.

Lily is coming off stage and Peeta is already heading to Caesar with a smile.

Peeta is not like Thresh. At first he plays along with Caesar but soon starts bringing up banter of his own. Caesar plays along, sniffing Peeta as requested, inviting him to smell him back, which Peeta does admitting Caesar smells better, making the crowd burst in laughter.

The crowd, both in the Capitol and in 12, are enjoying themselves , making comments, going through emotions at Peeta’s whim.  Caesar is just following Peeta's lead as the show is much better than he ever expected.

“Now Peeta. Is there a girl back in 12?”

Peeta smile wavers a bit as my heart decides its time to remind me it exists by missing a beat.

“No, not really.”

The breath I didn’t know I was holding comes out relieving me.

“A handsome boy like you. I don't believe it for a second.”

Peeta’s face fills the screen but he’s not there, he's here, in 12.

“There's this one girl. But she just noticed me on Reaping day.”

“That's a shame.”

“Yeah it is. But gives me something more to fight for.”

 "Undoubtedly so. You win this, go back and sweep her off her feet."

 Peeta smiles openly now like he's playing the scene in his head.

 "She's not that kind of girl, Caesar."

 "All girls are, Peeta."

 "Not her."

As Caesar says goodbye to Peeta. I fight the sudden rush of happiness that threats to stop my heart. What is happening to me?

Delly, a merchant's daughter, strangled cry makes the happiness turn to unexplainable resentment, hate even.

Can Peeta be talking about Delly? The thought sends a stab through me, my body struggles against an unknown pain.

Why didn't I stay home. There I would have the privacy I need to figure things out.

Peeta smiles one last time to the cameras leaving the stage. And Caesar says his goodbyes promising to be back the next day when we'll finally see this year's Arena.

From the moment Peeta smiling face was shown forward I didn't register much else.

“Peeta did surprisingly well. You were right, he did own the crowd. Still…”

Still Gale thinks both tributes from 12 will be dead by lunch time tomorrow. To survive the Bloodbath I trust Peeta good judgment and Haymitch. I trust Haymitch will try no to have another pair of tributes dead in the Bloodbath, he will want a different outcome than the previous years. But can Haymitch be trusted? I choose to believe he is. That belief allows me a bit of peace.


	9. The Bloodbath

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's the day the tributes enter the Arena. As many of them rush to get to the prizes held near the Cornucopia and face the Bloodbath Katniss worries Peeta may be one of them.

I tried to sleep but it didn't came, only Peeta’s smiling face slowly turning ashed as his life faded away before my eyes. A pressure all around it made my heart hurt, constricted by this uncontrollable anxiety. Prim’s warmth gave me no solace, no comfort.

This morning Peeta will go into the Arena with all the other tributes. The Arena's are different every year, the only common feature is the Cornucopia, a horn shape cave like place where the Gamemakers usually stock supplies, survival essentials, useful and sometimes useless gadgets, and more importantly weapons of all sorts.

  
This is where the actual Games begin. Around the Cornucopia the tributes are placed in pedestals being allowed to step out of them only when the countdown, announced by Claudius Templeton, stops.

  
Trying to get to the Cornucopia is a goal to most tributes; that leads to the Bloodbath, a time when the tributes are all together in one place, easy targets to the strongest and to the fastest to reach the weapons. It was not unusual that by the end of it half the tributes were dead; it is usual that by the end of it the Career Pack has ensure the control of the Cornucopia. With all the weapons and fully supplied they then hunt the rest of the tributes until only them remain. In the finale, the Career Pack fought amongst themselves until just one remain, the Victor. That was the usual way but not this year, this year would be different.

  
To ensure any chance of coming back home Peeta has to survive the Bloodbath. And the best way to do that is to run away from the Cornucopia as soon and as fast as possible.

  
“Katniss… can't you sleep?”

  
“I will. In a minute.”

  
I feel Prim’s tender embrace and reach for her hand holding it tight.

  
“That feels nice.”

  
I feel her breath becoming smooth and soft as she slips back to her blissful sleep. I barely remember when my sleep was like that but I do recall when the nightmares started, the night after my father died.

That first night I was deep in the mine searching for him, calling for him. Now I call for Peeta, I search for Peeta in the rubble that covered last year's Arena; I find him. His heart silent, his eyes like glass; and I startle awake. My heart throbbing against my ribs.

  
Prim mumbles something unintelligible and turns away from me in her sleep. It's no use. I won’t be able to sleep anymore.

  
I sit at the kitchen table, herb tea cup warming my hands, and wait for dawn. On a regular day I would be waiting for it in the woods but the Mandatory Viewing is scheduled to occur this morning. And I plan to watch it at home after last night.

  
“Katniss?”

  
“Mom. I’ve made tea. It's still hot.”

  
“Did you sleep? “

  
“Enough.”

  
“I can help, Katniss.”

  
“No drugs, mom” the harshness shocks even myself.

  
I can see the pain in her eyes caused by the way I answer. I’m not her. I can’t go away, lose myself in a world of oblivion leaving Prim to fend for herself, like she did.

  
“Good morning.”

  
Prim takes in the both of us and turning to me asks.

  
“Everything alright?”

  
“Yeah.”

  
My mother’s face tells her otherwise but she lets the issue drop. She’s use to witness the difficult relationship me and my mother have.

  
“Are you going out, Katniss?”

  
“Not before the Mandatory Viewing.”

  
“Are we going to the square?”

  
“No. Not today.”

  
“Oh… why not?"

  
Because I want to be alone while the Bloodbath where Peeta could… I refuse to think about it…

  
“I rather we all stay home.” my mother soft voice stops me. I look at her, appreciating the determination in her words.

  
“I would like to go to the square, mom.”

  
“Not today, Prim." Please not today.

  
A conformed Prim sits with us at the table accepting the tea mug my mother serves her.

  
My mind flies to the Capitol. Peeta is probably on the transport now. With surprise I become aware I have no idea how things go in these hours before the tributes show up in the pedestals at the Arena. Caesar has so many juicier things to focus on on the first Arena day he never talks about this period. I’m left to speculate on it. The goodbyes to Haymitch, to the stylist, to the rest of the team; nothing is like saying goodbye to his family and friends but still it must be emotional, at least for a kind soul like Peeta.

  
The squealing sound, design not to be ignored, calls our attention to the old television set as it comes to light on its own. 

  
“Oh look at that.”

  
The Arena is beautiful. A forest, not unlike the one in 12 takes about ⅔ of it, the rest is taken by a field of high growing crops, at least it looks like crops, and at the center, the Cornucopia which, this year, looks like it spilled over the goods around it's mouth, almost to the feet of the still empty pedestals. The invitation is as obvious as it is tempting.

  
Caesar is explaining all of this, comparing this Arena to the ones before it as the screen shows the big lake by the side of the plain that holds the Cornucopia. It looks like it is the main source of water on the Arena. Hopefully there will be other sources or that is going to be a serious issue for Peeta to deal with as the Careers are sure to take over the plain.

And then their they are… like lambs for slaughter, the 24 tributes are on the pedestals and the screen fills with their faces. Confused faces, distressed faces interlaced with resolved faces and happy faces. The difference between the Careers and the other tributes is shocking.

  
There's Lily, looking around, curious, nervous, almost jumping; I'm afraid she may fall off the pedestal setting off the explosives aimed to stop any tribute to move out of them before the time is up.

  
The image shifts to the nervous, but clever, face of the female tribute from 5.

  
“She resembles a fox. Doesn’t she, Katniss?”

  
“Yes. I have the feeling she’s as clever as one too.”

  
“That’s probably her skill.”

  
“Probably.”

  
Rue calm stance fills the screen, her eyes tread on the forest. She’s denouncing her intent, she’s not joining the Bloodbath she’s going to run into the woods as soon as the countdown ends.

  
Peeta… my heart skips a beat as his motionless stance is shown next. Unlike Rue he doesn’t denounce anything. I only spot a small movement of head, like he’s saying no to someone, probably Lily. My breathing becomes harder as I fear he may try to reach the Cornucopia. That won’t do, that will never do. Far too many tributes against him.

  
The horn sounds and the view shifts for an upper level allowing us to watch all the tributes leaving the pedestals at once.

  
A few turn and run directly away from the Cornucopia. I find myself wishing for one of them to be Peeta only to watch the view shift to ground level and show Lily being pierced by a spear. I hear Prim’s strangled cry but find myself unable to turn my attention from the screen as Peeta is focused next, running for a backpack, not far from his pedestal.

  
My mother hush words of comfort for Prim do little to the panic that is building beyond my control.

The girl from 2 is after Peeta who firmly grips the backpack putting it on his back as he runs for the woods.

My hands cover my mouth stopping the scream as the girl throws a knife accurately to Peeta's back. The wave of relief crashes against the wave of panic making it recede as the backpack timely sets on his back and the knife lodge's firmly in it. It was an accurate shot and the backpack has just saved Peeta’s life.

  
The image turns back to the Bloodbath enabling the bowstring that is my body to stop hurting as much as it did before. If Peeta is off camera he’s as safe as he can get.

  
The Bloodbath continues as tribute after tribute finds its end, mostly at the hands of the Careers that will soon be the only ones standing around the Cornucopia.

  
Mandatory Viewing as ended before the end of the Bloodbath though,  as people need to go to work in the Districts. My mother turns the television off.

  
Peeta is safe for now. He survived the Bloodbath.

  
“Shhh… it’s okay, Prim.”

  
Silent tears run on Prim’s face. Lily is dead, she isn’t. This is the cost of staying behind, the knowledge someone was killed and that someone could have easily been you. In a a way she died in our place.

  
I join my mother holding Prim. The first year is the worse they say. For me it was my second year that was worse as in the first year the Reaping and the Games got by me in a daze, my father's death leaving no space for me to process much else.

  
“It’s okay, little duck. It’s okay. You are here, with us.”

  
“But I could have been the one in there, Katniss.”

  
There was no way to deny it.

  
“But you weren’t.”

  
“But…”

  
“Shh…”

  
I hold her closer giving her time to process all this awfulness. An awfulness I can’t protect her from.


	10. District 12 after the Bloodbath

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Bloodbath as ended. Peeta's alive but now what? Lily is dead and coming back home. Gale still doesn't believe Peeta can survive the Hunger Games.

“Hi.” In my silent hunters tread I've manage to startle Gale. But he recovers so quickly that his reaction is almost imperceptible. 

“Katniss. I've started already.” 

With the fifth snare carefully reset he gets up turning to me. It's strange the way he's becoming paler but darker than I ever knew him before, and bulkier. All telltale signs he's a mine worker. 

“How are things at home? “ 

“Slowly recovering. My mother managed to make her lay down and rest.” 

We take our usual hunting tread heading to the next snare, and searching for prey.

“It's going to be hard on her, Catnip.” 

“I know. Prim is not like me.” 

“That remains to be seen. “ 

“What?” 

“Doesn't matter. It's nothing.” 

I would pursue the issue but we are on the six snare and Gale is taking the rabbit caught up in it. 

“Maybe you should go ahead with gathering or hunting as I finish the line. We came in later today and it's almost lunch time.” 

He's right with the night Mandatory Viewing we can't be late for dinner and Sunday is the day we make more trade. All minutes count. 

Being alone in the woods makes my mind travel to the Arena. As far as I know Peeta doesn't know how to hunt. How will he manage for food? He's alive after the Bloodbath but now what?  

The basics my father taught me were, first find water, we can't survive without it, then some food source and then shelter. But adding to that Peeta has to face all the traps the Arena hids and other tributes. How many are still alive? Is he? I feel the panic wave rising; my hands lose their steadiness. 

I take a moment to steady myself, watching a mockingjay jump from branch to branch in a nearby tree.  

Mockingjay's are and odd creation, product of the mix breeding between the Capitol created Jabberjay and the Mockingbird. The Capitol created Jabberjay's in the Dark days, they were set to listen to rebel's talks and reproduce them, in detail, to Capitol official's. They were Mutations, Mutts for short, abandon in the field after the Dark days to be extinguished. But the Capitol didn't count on the Jabberjay instinct to survive. They reproduced with their "cousins" Mockingbirds and the Mockingjay was "created". With the ability to reproduce words lost Mockingjays were still wonderful listeners and reproduced every melody or sound that was conveyed in their presence.  

My father loved to sing to them, a younger happier me was amazed in the way they all fell silent to listen to him sing, and then they would reply. I was just a child but the memory was one of the sweetest I kept in my heart. 

A turkey enters my line of sight, my hands already steady enough, my arrow accurate. Even with my mind elsewhere I manage to catch two turkeys, a beaver and three rabbits before Gale joins me and we go for bigger prey. 

Odds are not with us though as a deer manages to escape us just in the nick of time. 

"They are becoming clever." says Gale already thinking about new ways to trap preys. 

"The wind shifted a bit." 

It was almost like it was announcing an approaching storm. I look up at the sky and find it clean, just a few small clouds in sight. The scenery shifts, though, as we arrive the rock we always sit on, big amazingly white clouds approach from where, once, stood District 13. 

"We better hurry, Catnip." 

Skipping lunch we head fast to the fence helped by the strong wind that now assaults our back. As we cross it the storm catches us. Big rain drops fall from the now dark sky; only the cover of a roof is protection enough. 

Gale insists I go home, to Prim, while he makes trade. I do not agree so we compromise, he will go to the merchant's houses I'll go to the Hob, to Greasy Sae, and wait for him there. 

As I enter the Hob I can't help but notice that the talks sound brighter. Greasy Sae has a smile in her face while she turns the ladle in the soup one last time before turning to check the bag I deliver her.

"Nice. Very nice. Usual payment?"

"No bargain today?"

"Not today, I'm feeling generous today."

Giving me the payment, not as generous as one would think after what she just said but fair, she offers me and Gale a soup. MIne she sets in front of me in and I take it eagerly as the cold from the rain has seep in and the warm from the soup is welcoming. 

"You are in a good mood. What's going on?" 

"Katniss, I'm sure you know what is going on." 

What? I must look as puzzled as I really am because Greasy Sae turns to me with a stance that vaguely resembles my school teacher. 

"Peeta survived the Bloodbath. It's been years since we have a District 12 tribute that doesn't die in the first hours." 

He's still alive. I want to smile as much as Greasy Sae. 

"Lily though. It was a pity but at least she didn't suffer." 

True. Lily's parents will mourn her, will cry for her but they will be spared to witness a long painful Hunger Games waiting for the moment their baby girl would be killed, wishing for it not to happen yet but later. They are spared the long painful marathon I find myself in, the only difference being I believe a different outcome is set for Peeta. 

"When will she be here? Do we know?" 

Gale has just join us, the trade must had gone well, a lot of people are home with this heavy rain. 

"The day after tomorrow." 

"I'll be down in the mine then." 

"She wouldn't mind, Gale." I gently run my hand on his forearm and am surprise when he catches it. 

"Lily was such a sweet girl, Gale." The smile in Greasy Sae face turned to sadness as we all recall the beautiful, sweet, nice girl everybody liked and liked everyone "She would understand they don't allow you to come to her funeral." 

"I guess so. Will you  go Katniss?" 

The last funeral I attended was my father's, I have shielded myself from funerals since then. Gale knows this. Why is he doing this to me? Making me ponder on going? And immediately I know the answer; he wants me to go because he thinks Peeta funeral will be next and he knows it will be doubly hard for me if, after my father, Peeta's is the next funeral I attend. He still believes Peeta won't survive. 


	11. First night at the Arena

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Panem gets to see how the remaining tributes are planning to spend the night.

Every first Arena day all Districts had to watch two shows. In the morning the moment the tributes enter the Arena for the first time, at night the first glimpse on how every tribute still alive is doing and how they react to the dead tributes faces up in the sky.  

Showing the dead tributes faces in the sky was the way the Gamemakers informed the remaining tributes of who had Fallen and who was still out there hunting them or for them to hunt.  

Sitting at the table, disconnected from Prim's babbling about some disease she saw the name somewhere, was my usual stance. This night nothing in that stance was usual even if, thankfully, both my mother and my sister were unaware of it. Anxiety was building, had Peeta found water? Shelter? Food? Did he manage to escape fast enough? The obnoxious sound that preceded the show couldn't can soon enough, nevertheless it startled me when it  did came.  

My attention immediately focuses, not on Caesar ramblings, but on the list of Fallen that is shown by his side. The list is long, too long for just one day, so many kids, lost forever. There's Lily's name, the list has ended. Peeta's still alive but my relief is lacking, in the Arena there are worse things than death itself. 

Caesar resumes what has been happening since this morning. The images are hours old, scared kids running for their lives aren't a pleasant sight, not for me... not for us in the Districts, at least. 

Somehow the Arena resembles Panem, the Careers, Capitol minions, are shown happy in their slaughter of the weaker tributes from the rest of the Districts. They feast on their demise, happy in their power that overcomes us all. 

To my surprise there is one tribute that has stopped running in the edge of the forest, little Rue, she's eyeing nervously the Bloodbath but suddenly her relief is clear. The camera shifts to show us why. Thresh is running, towards her, he managed to get weapons and a backpack from the Cornucopia. In his run another tribute tries to stop him, a stroke of the blade in his hand is enough. I don't think he even noticed he just killed someone, he just doesn't stop running. 

"Come on." 

Thresh pulls Rue. Gale was wrong he will protect her. 

"Thresh... you'll have more chance without me." 

"No. I'm not leaving you." 

"I'll be safe, in the trees. Trees are my world as the crop fields are yours. You stand a chance in there. And they won't catch me in the trees." 

I see the doubt in Thresh's eyes, I see how the field of high grass calls to him as the trees call to Rue. He ponders but he knows he won't stand a chance in the trees, he's too heavy to climb them. It's a hard nod for him.  

"Here take this." 

They are splitting up but Thresh is still bent on protecting her the best he can. He hands Rue a knife and some of the food before running across the plain in to the field. 

Rue follows him with her eyes until he disappear  from all our sights and then climbs the first tree and disappears herself. 

I hardly have time to process the emotional exchange between District 11 tributes as Peeta comes in to frame. He's running, fast, he too has a knife, even if he doesn't know it yet as it sets on the backpack, where the girl from 2 hit. Finally he stops, out of breath but also out of reach. 

We are back in the studio where Caesar moves on to go live to the Arena. 

Night is falling there as it is here in 12. The Career pack are together and have settle their basecamp by the Cornucopia. The Cornucopia itself now lays empty in the plain. Not far from it, all what was inside and around it this morning is now pile up. What are they doing?  

To my surprise they have a servant. It's not odd for the Career pack to recruit other strong tributes into the alliance what I wasn't ready to see was they had recruited the slender and clearly not strong male tribute from 3. Even if light is scarce the boy is digging, burying something, I can't see what, around the pile.  

Caesar knows though, and is eager to share it like one shares a big juicy gossip. One of District 3 main product are explosives, he informs, the tribute has rearmed the mines that were around the pedestals and bury them around the pile of goods. Any tribute that steps near the pile without knowing where is the safe path will be blown up.  

A chill runs down my spine as I recall the year a tribute let something fall, a small token I think, while the countdown was still going, she was blown to bits right then and there, no body part bigger than a rabbit average size remain.  

While we are watching something gets the attention of District 2 male tribute, Cato, the four of them enter the woods. All cameras are on them at first until it becomes clear where they are heading, District 8 female tribute has light a fire. It's pitch dark what is she doing?  

The cameras show her trying to heat her hands, it must be really cold at the Arena or she's a special level of dumb.  

"Katniss..."  

Prim's distressed voice comes of as an alarm, the Careers are on sight behind the girl but she doesn't budge. I grip the hand Prim extend me tightly, we all know what is about to happen, everyone knows except for the girl. But the Career's like to see fear on their victims eyes so they wait until she notices them, a scream, a begging whimper, is answered with four mocking smiles and a clear cut from Cato's sword by the hands of Glimmer.  

I see the pleasure in her eyes, the joy, and it revolts me, it revolts me recalling the way she pictured herself just last night, as innocent and candid as a school girl, and to see her now, her true self. The cannon goes off signaling a new death.  

After only one day 14 out of 24 tributes are dead.  

As the Career pack returns to the plain laughing I notice a shadow, barely noticeable at first but that becomes clearer as the cameras zoom in. Little Rue perched on a amazingly high branch of a nearby tree. She was lucky, the Careers didn't see her.   

"Is that...?"  

"Rue." I say with a smile "She looks like you, Prim."  

"No she doesn't. Her eyes, her hair, are much darker than mine and she can climb awfully high. I can't climb at all."  

"It's not that, Prim. She has a goodness about her, like you."  

"Oh."  

Another tribute, the boy from 10, is trying to warm himself up, this one is smarter though, he's covering himself in leaves trying to preserve his body heat. But his body keeps shivering I don't know how long he will stand, hopefully all night.  

The girl from 5 that looks like a fox is so well hidden that the cameras only manages to show the bush where she found shelter. I wouldn't chose that place if I was her as it stood not far from the plain where the Games began and where the Career pack was lurking. And then maybe it is a clever move, they would never search for her this close to them.  

Thresh is in the field on the other side of the Cornucopia, opposite the woods. Caesar explains how it resembles the fields on 11, and how that is possibly why Tresh has decided to stick over there, a place that is without a doubt filled with snakes and other poison creatures. Between them and the Careers I don't know what I would prefer.  

And then it's Peeta turn. He found water, better yet he found a creek which means water and food if one can fish, and Peeta, to my surprise, can fish as the cooked fish by his side can attest. 

He's inside a small cave not far from the creek, protected from the winds; a sleeping bag, that surely was in the backpack he caught, ensures he's not going to be cold. Compared to all the others the only ones better than him are the Careers and their minion.  

The Panem anthem echoes the Arena and the faces of the dead tributes begin to be projected in the sky. Everytime one is shown the camera focus on the reaction of the killer and, if still alive, their fellow tribute from the same district.  

Like every year the killings are mostly from the Careers who react with happiness but one is Tresh's and I can see the pain that crosses his eyes. It surely is the first time he kills a human being, life for him will never be the same. For the first time I understand what Gale was trying to say, no one remains the same on or after the Arena, ever.  

Lily's face finishes the long list, her smiling face brings tears to Peeta's eyes. Standing at the entrance to the cave that he's camouflaging Peeta gives Lily a last sign of respect and care by touching three fingers of his left hand to his heart, then to his lips and finally show it to the sky, where she now lies safe, never to be hurt again, an ancient sign only significant in 12 but that bares a heavy weight in all our hearts.  

As the night sky at the Arena fells silent Peeta enters the cave pulling on the last piece of the camouflage and effectively becoming invisible except for the camera the Gamemakers have inside the cave itself. Through it we see him wrapping himself in the sleeping bag before Caesar fills the screen bidding us good night.  

He's safe. The Careers were too busy going after easier preys and managing their own supplies. The viewers in the Capitol have many deaths to focus on. For tonight he can sleep; for tonight I can sleep.


	12. Gamemakers tricks

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Hunger Games are turning boring without any deaths making the Gamemakers to unleash one of their dreaded tricks.

My days turn to long waiting periods. Waiting for the night to fall, waiting to see how Peeta is doing. Believing he's alive and well but still anxious for the moment I see his face on the screen. 

He hasn't been idle, he knows he can't, it's a TV show. The first days he worked on making two spears; with the knife he turned simple branches into potentially deadly weapons. 

I could see Caesar was impressed by Peeta's ingenuity, I was more impressed by his accuracy in throwing the spears.

But the lack of Fallen had Caesar struggling to stop the show from slipping into boredom. 

I didn't mind about the boredom but I was increasingly worried of what the lack of deaths on the Arena meant, the Gamemakers will intervene. If the Careers aren't being able to find tributes and kill them the Gamemakers will help or even kill someone. 

Besides all Peeta's efforts on keeping and interesting activity and not reduce himself to stay in one place I could tell he too was becoming increasingly concerned by the silent and dark night sky. 

"Tomorrow we invite you to join us at lunch time for a special report on The 74th Annual Hunger Games." 

Caesar loud and happy announcement was expected but still I dreaded what it confirmed, the Gamemakers were going to act. Peeta had to be ready for anything they throw at the tributes. I had to be ready to watch it all happen, whatever it was. 

"Can we go to the Square and watch?" 

"Prim..." 

"Please, I feel better with people around and it's going to be during the day." 

"I... I will probably arrive too late to go to the Square, Prim." 

It was an excuse and a poor one; it didn't deceive Prim. 

"Sure we can, Prim." 

My mom had decided and Prim was smiling. 

"Katniss, will join us as soon as she arrives." 

Would I? I didn't look at them as my desires and my mothers instructions clash inside me. For once Prim is silent. She knows that if she asks again I would do it. But I don't know if I can witness one of the terrible tricks the Gamemakers usually unleash, fall on Peeta, threatening Peeta's life, in the middle of the Square. 

Then I make one mistake, I glimpse at Prim, and it's enough to see her clear Seam eyes asking for what her mouth doesn't need to word. 

With a nod I get up. 

"Katniss, what's wrong?" 

Collecting myself I work the "Nothing" out of my mouth with my usual tone and turn away from both of them. I may deceive my mother but I'm sure I won't get pass Prim's scrutiny if she notices my effort. 

It's all quiet, all the workers still home, as I walk through a small patch of trees near the Meadow, away from prying eyes, I can't go on anymore as my legs fail to support me. I half walk half drag myself to a fallen tree and sit as my mind recalls all the Gamemakers interventions I've witnessed the years before. The most destroying one was the year they flooded the Arena and only one girl from 4, the only one that could swim, survived. What will they do this time? What terrible trick will they conjure up? 

People start to walk out of their homes, walking with the purpose of whom knows where they are going, just like I do. My tasks are waiting in the woods, and today I have to be extra fast, I have to be home by lunch time. I force myself up, walk into the woods and start but against the need to rush, I'm having trouble focusing on the task at hand. 

It takes me all morning to go through the snares line and it's with a half haul that I cross the fence back into District 12. 

I walk by Gale's house leaving his share, then leave mine at home, I take my time to get to the Square but I can't stop myself from walking fast as the loud sound announcing Mandatory Viewing echoes between houses. I stop frozen at the Square entrance as the Gamemakers plot unravels.

A blazing fire starts near the left edge of the Arena, it starts already blazing and that's how it's clear to everyone watching it's man made. Not only it's a blazing fire as it looks almost liquid form in its movement, like oil burning across the forest. Having wings is an advantage in this situation as all, human and animals alike, run for their lives. 

I can't see Peeta anywhere, my eyes search frantically for him but the attention is set on District 10 male tribute that is caught by the speedy oil like wave of fire. It's a gory death, just like the Gamemakers like them. 

Even the Careers are caught off guard in the middle of the forest, the cameras follow them as they run, they are unable to avoid some injuries from the looks of it, before entering the plain, safe from the flames. 

Little Rue is close by on top of a tree on a frail looking branch. In my mind she looks more and more like a bird, even for her ability to escape the flames keeping herself high above, "flying" from tree to tree. 

Fox face, my nickname for the girl from 5, is also near the plain, only the smoke touching here slightly. 

Thresh isn't even touched by this disaster as the flames are unable to cross the plain. 

Peeta... where is Peeta? Why haven't they showed him yet? Isn't he there? No, no, he's there I sure he's there, he as to be. 

And there he is running fast, escaping the flames. Why was he in the forest? Why? Run, Peeta, please. You know fire like no one else does, Peeta, you have to escape from it. 

He runs dodging fireballs and fallen trees. And now I know why they left Peeta for last, he's the target of this trap; the Gamemakers are targeting him for some reason I do not know. My heart sinks as the truth becomes clear. 

Peeta arrives the stream that has been his base of operations since the first day and jumps into it. The flames engulf both sides of the stream and for a few moments I lose sight of the water. 

"Peeta..." My cry is mostly a whisper as my lungs don't have enough air to get through my vocal cords.  

As fast as they started the flames subside. The cameras still on the very spot where Peeta disappeared under water, expecting the canon as I expect him to come up, a battle of wills of sorts. 

A slight move on the water gives me a burst of hope soon confirmed by Peeta shooting out of the water out of breath. Dragging himself to land he takes deep breaths giving me opportunity to check for any injuries. There's a small burn on his leg but either than that not much else. 

In the end all tributes are dealing with fire and smoke related problems, while the boy from 10 is heading home in a wooden casket. 

"Katniss... are you crying?" 

Am I? I touch my cheek with my hand and feel the moist. I clear the remains of the tears I didn't know I shed with my fingers before looking back to Prim. 

"Want to go home?" 

"Katniss... what's wrong?" 

I can't tell her what I don't know myself. 

"Katniss..." 

"Let's go home." My mother, totally unaware of what is happening between me and Prim, joins us and urges us both to go home and eat. 

I walk with them back home, Prim's eyes on me more often than not, trying to find some sign of the reason behind my tears. We are halfway there when I excuse myself with the need to go back to the woods and finish my daily tasks. They try to object but I'm already heading away from them. I head for the woods but find myself sitting back on the fallen tree near the Meadow, thinking of the way the Gamemakers were after Peeta. Why do they want him dead? He's giving them what they like, a good show, isn't he? Why were they after him like that?


	13. Hunted by the Careers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> To Katniss despair this night Mandatory Viewing opens with Peeta and she knows that isn't good news. Turns out the Careers are hunting him down. Saved in the nick of time his injuries are serious and the day ends with and unconscious Peeta laying on the ground protected by little Rue.

The next day goes by in a fight to stop my mind from wondering off to the Arena and to what can be happening there. 

Here in the Districts even if The Hunger Games are developing, Peacekeepers and hunger keep everyone busy working or fighting for survival. I'm fighting for survival as I do everyday but, for the first year I can remember, I wish I was a Capitol citizen that could stay watching Peeta fulltime. 

As it was I walk in the woods, hunting, considering if Peeta leg wound will recover and  if he's strong and accurate enough to use the spears he made to kill something... someone. My arrow flies hitting a squirrel right in the eye when the thought comes to mind; could I kill someone? Ever? The answer flashes as undoubted truth; for Prim, yes I would; for Peeta, yes I would. And the new addition to the list of people I would protect is unexpected. 

With the squirrel in hand I knock on the bakery back door. The tree where once I was losing the battle against survival is no longer there but I can pinpoint it's exact location, just as I can pinpoint the exact spot where two loaves of slightly burnt bread fell. 

"Katniss?" 

It's Peeta's older brother. I don't know him but I can see the surprise in his face. 

"Is Mr Mellark in?" 

"Ah... Katniss. You remembered." 

Mr Mellark comes through a door to the right.

He turns to his son that still stands between us looking at me. 

"Can you go check the hoven?" 

"Yeah, sure." 

I can see him looking back before he disappears behind the same door as I present the squirrel to Mr. Mellark. 

"Perfect. How do you manage to hit them right in the eye everytime?" 

I have no idea, I just hit them, thats about it. 

"Nevermind. The usual fee?" 

I could bargain but, somehow, I don't feel like doing that to Peeta's father. 

"Yeah, sure." 

He was expecting me to bargain, he's surprised when I don't but he doesn't comment. With the small bread, I know Prim will love, I head to the butcher, with him I have to bargain. With him we have to know to read his face, he shows disinterest even when he's interested, all a strategy to get the meat cheaper. Nevertheless, without big preys, there's not much he's interested in buying today. 

In the Hob I manage to sell the most of the day haul. Greasy Sae serves me a soup before I go home.  

"Did you see, Katniss?" 

"What?" 

"Peeta is still alive..."

She sounds so unbelievably shocked and astonished it makes me snap, I fight to control the unrigthous words that want to get out. A spoon of soup helps keep my mouth busy. 

"But things are getting hard. The Gamemakers weren't kidding with that fire. It was a serious warning to all tributes." 

"Yeah." 

She's right. They burnt almost half the Arena only to get the killing level to go up. 

The image of Peeta jumping into the river, ensuring his safety, and of the burn in his leg, are still very present in my mind. 

Every tribute was now dealing with some kind of aftermath. 

"That little girl Rue. I'm curious about her. We all are. Katniss, you know the woods better than any of us, what is she doing? Do you have any idea?" 

Like Greasy Sae I was curious to know what was she doing, up in the trees, I saw the blade of her knife shining in the light sometimes but up till now no branch had fallen, but she had some kind of method and was acting on some plan that much I could tell. It was a puzzle that no one in 12 or the Capitol, if we could trust Caesar, had solved.

"No. None. Maybe Gale does, he knows the woods better than me." 

"Yes. Gale probably knows." 

"But I'm guessing what ever it is she's going to use it soon enough." 

I didn't know how accurate I was until the Night show starts. For the first time, it starts with Peeta. As soon as Caesar speaks his name a wave of concern starts working around my heart tightening the grip around it. It's never good news to open the night show. The list at Caesar side is still far from District 12 tributes not that being alive is thd same of being safe. 

The first Arena images we get I see Peeta running in the woods with the Careers on his tale and closing fast. 

A scream get's painfully blocked in my trough bringing tear to my eyes. 

Run, Peeta, please, run. I will it to be true, the fact I'm watching images recorded sometime earlier totaly lost on me, submerdge as I am by the need to urge him to escape, to save himself, to survive. 

"Katniss..." Prim's call seems to be made from some farway place lost in the mist. It doesn't reach me, I'm at the Arena screaming to Peeta for him to hurry, to run faster. 

A shadow falls on screen. Something fell in front of the Careers and it's creating mayhem. Three of them are scatering away trying to get bearings, one of them stumbles and falls being engulfed by... what? ... what is that? Flies, bees? I can't quite... Tracker jacker's, it's tracker jackers.

Like jaggerjays  tracker jackers are muts created by the Capitol in the Dark Days, they look like wasps but their sting can be lethal and once the prey is bitten they don't lose it. That's how I know it's them, the running Careers are unable to escape the tracker jakers cloud until they reach the lake jumping inside. 

A few tracker jackers followed Peeta, though, and he's stung, no doubt about it as he crashes confusingly trough the woods. Suddendly he falls into a pit and he doesn't move anymore. 

"Peeta..." My lips move but no sound comes out. My trough is blocked so hard I can't speak,  my eyes so dry they feel like burning. 

Rue comes into the frame, tries to drag Peeta out of the pit but he's too heavy. She turns him and starts working on the lumps the tracker jackers left in Peeta's body. 

"She knows what she's doing." 

My mom is impressed. It's her field of expertise if she's impressed Peeta as a chance.

"Let's see if his heart can take it, though. I counted three bites. Three bites can be letal." 

The camera shifts to the tree where it all started. A few feet away the girl from 1, Glimmer, lies unrecognizable and still, as she fills the screen the cannon fires. 

We return to studio where Caesar explains Rue as made a kill. Her first kill. Turns out she has been going around an area where there are many tracker jacker nests and has been cutting the branchs. A small amount of force brings the branch down, and the nest. With this scheme she has efectivly created a safe area for herself. 

Caesar then elaborates on how Rue as been helping and caring for Peeta all day. It's clear her behaviour is considered odd but the only piece of news that resonates in me is Peeta is in need of care, but, thanks to little Rue his heart still beats. There is hope. 

We go back to the Arena to focus directly on Peeta, laying still, covered in leaves. The plan withens and we can see Rue in a tree branch above looking up into the sky. Waiting for the anthem, waiting for the Fallen.


	14. The Circus comes to town

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Down to the final eight Capitol reporters come to 12 to interview Peeta's family and friends, eager to know more about the girl he mention in his talk with Caesar. Meanwhile in the Arena Peeta is still unconscious and under Rue's care.

My sleep is intercut with nightmares of Peeta. I can't even wish to be there helping him as I would be useless, Prim would be so much more useful. The nightmare takes this twist startling me awake and startling Buttercup that takes an attack position ready to jump at me.

"Don't even... stupid cat." I whisper.

Buttercup stays in attack position not sure if he shouldn't just jump and claw my face. Considering Prim's asleep,and without her protection he's just a coward I'm not worried. We watch each other for a while and then, with a disdain only cat's can master, he get's back to his previous position, rolled up against Prim just his eyes are still watching, guarding me.

Sleep as evaded me though so I walk out of the room careful not to wake her.

Dawn must be breaking when I cross under the fence but the misty fog doesn't allow me to be sure. My day is spent on the woods, it's a cold day, the mist turning to rain. Hunting is almost impossible as I can't see more than a feet in front of me. Again I cross back to 12 with half haul cursing the fog, the same fog that hides me as I can see shapes in the Meadow and loud Capitol voices in town.

I take refuge at the Hog, letting the warmth inside seep into me, trying to find a comfort that I know is far from my reach.

"It's chilly out there."

"A cold day. Those Capitol folks are having a hard time today with all their strange attires. And they can't make any large shots work with all this fog."

"Capitol folks?"

"The Games are down to the final 8, they came to interview Peeta's family and friends."

"Oh."

I totally forgot about that.

"Tonight the show is going to start earlier than usual."

"They were at the bakery?"

"No, Justice Building. Mr. Mellark, his wife and kids were summoned there. As were Delly and Madge and a few of his friends from school."

Madge, the daughter of the Mayor and Delly, both rich girls from town.

"They are eager to know who's Peeta's sweetheart. They say the Capitol is buzzing with curiosity, people there talk of nothing else. We all bet it's one of the two of them."

I feel the stab in my heart but my mind works differently, my mind can see the truth in Greasy Sae words, boys from town fall for girls from town, my parents were the exception that confirmed the rule. My reasoning adds to my pain and I feel my eyes on fire from the tears I don't want to shed. A deep breath comes intercut as the air can't manage to cross the lump in my throat.

"With all this fog though they couldn't film the nice rustic views they love, so they cut it short and left a while ago."

Those were the voices I heard, them leaving the Justice Building, their voices echoing the Square.

"You sure it is tonight, Greasy Sae?" the man at my right asks not believing they can get to the Capitol that fast.

"That's what they said."

By tonight I will know who's the girl Peeta is fighting to come back too. If even thinking about it is so painful I hardly can take it standing, turning it into reality, knowing the real person that holds Peeta's heart, will hurt even more. Prim will know something is wrong, I can't watch at home, I have to watch it on the Square.

 

"Catnip?"

"Hi Gale."

"I didn't expect... never mind. Another half haul today."

"With the fog it was impossible to hunt."

"I know." the small sigh means everything. He misses even the fog.

We turn our attention to the screen as Caesar invites us all to visit family and friends of the remaining tributes.

"Blocks of ice."

Gale is so right, everyone from Districts 1 and then 2 takes the fact their child or friend are still alive with a coldness, an uncare, like something they were expect to do, something they couldn't fail doing.

"I almost pity Marvel, Cato and the girl... what's her name again? Clove." I've had a caring father, and I miss him everyday. I do not understand these parents up there on the screen.

"I don't. They are vicious."

Things are different in District 3. The boys parents are crying, they know what the reporter seems oblivious to, their boy is the weak link in an impossible alliance, he's already dead it's just a matter of time.

Foxface mother looks just like her, her father does most of the talking, it's clear they are both bright and clever they are also quite down to Earth. They support their daughter with every strength they have but they don't delude themselves, she can still die, she's not strong. If it comes down to a face to face fight she won't stand a chance.

We jump to District 11. Thresh's family is just his grandmother. She can hardly talk, her survival depends of her grandson, if he doesn't win she will be another victim. The thought tears me apart as it does Gale. I feel the anger towards the game's rising in him. I step closer taking his arm, soothing him, it's not the time nor the place for his ramblings against the Capitol and the Games, the Square is filled with Peacekeepers.

"Gale..."

"I know, I know. It's just..."

I too know.

Rue's family is a family of love. Her parents, her siblings, her friends, love her deeply. They talk about the way she sings to the mocking jay's, like she did in the Arena, they show how proud they are but we can also tell the fear in their eyes, they can lose her, a loss that we all can see will be crushing.

It's time for District 12. A moody Mr. Mellark sits next to an over produced crying woman that is Mrs Mellark. Her voice comes out as a whimper, crying over her poor boy she misses so much. Peeta’s brothers maintain a straight face as their mother takes up the main stage.

"And his girlfriend? Do you like her?"

"Girlfriend? What girlfriend?" the tears vanish like magic from her eyes as she looks back to her other son's "What girlfriend?"

"You don't know?" the interviewer is surprised and disappointed.

"Neither of us does." Mr Mellark answers for his children, pulling his wife attention to him. Just before she gets back to the reporter.

"No. No girlfriend. He's so youn...g" the tears start pouring down again.

The reporter wraps it up. His question unanswered. His hunger for gossip growing stronger.

We can see the hope and excitement in him while Madge and Delly sit in for the interview.

"You two are best friends with Peeta we were told?"

They both smile awkwardly.

"We've known him since we were little kids." Madge clear voice answers matter of factly. While Delly silly smile is getting on my nerves.

"So it's safe to assume one of you is the girl he was talking about in the interview."

Both of them turn red, their eyes avoid the reporter. They glimpse each other, Delly giggling like the schoolgirl she is, as Madge tries to conceal her embarrassment.

"This is great." Gale's upset. "What a way to show District 12."

A man I don't recognize, in front of us, adds that girls are the same everywhere.

I feel Gale's eyes on me.

"Not all."

"Silly things."

"Shut up." Delly's brother comes to add fire to the discussion.

"Are you telling me you are happy with the image all Panem now has of your sister?"

He stops, looks up to the screen, as Delly's hesitant deny just seems to confirm what she's denying making the Capitol reporter's lips open in a big smile. I'm out of breath, air doesn't reach my lungs, I want to leave but I desperately need to see Peeta, a glimpse of his face, of his lungs breathing will suffice but I am trapped here until he's up there in the screen.

"No. I'm not. But still she's my sister and I demand you respect her."

It's both Gale and the man turn to stop. Gale has a little sister he knows Delly's brother is right, he would do the same or worse for his baby sister.

He's embaressed and with a nod acknowledges the request as does the man and we all go back to watch the show.

Caesar connects to the Arena where things haven't changed. Peeta is still unconscious no news being the only good news. Rue is shown changing the green patches, made of leaves she chewed until they became a paste of sorts, over the lumps left by the tracker jackers on Peeta's body. The Careers and their minion are in their own hell being that the tracker jackers have stung them so much more but the Careers sponsors have sent them some medicine and they are recovering faster than Peeta, soon they will be back on the hunt.


	15. A new alliance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peeta forms an alliance with little Rue.

How I wish I could be watching the Games. Peeta is still unconscious it has been two days already and I dread the moment his heart would stop beating, the moment the cannon would echo in the Arena for him. 

Sleep was impossible, I found myself more often than not, ending my nights in the trees by the Meadow. My new refuge, away from everyone but close enough to kept vigilant. From there I could watch the town just in front of me and the Seam just to the side; the back of my home not more than a few feet from me. As soon as I watch movement I would return home, act as normal as possible.  

Prim was getting harder and harder to deceive, if I stayed longer at home I was sure she would see I was anything but my normal self and she would worry, she would be concern about me she would want to help when no help was possible. 

In the quiet I worried, no need for pretend, I worried. Would his heart still be beating? How much time would it take the Careers to find him? If they do he's the easiest prey one could ever find, totaly helpless. Not even little Rue could stop them. 

Little Rue. She was quite a surprise and I'm sure her odds on the betting tables are rising as Caesar get's more and more impressed by her resilience, her strategy, the way she can move between trees almost like a bird, avoiding the ground, and the Careers. 

I see my mom is up. And I leave the trees coming in through the back door to the kitchen. She finds me boiling some water for tea. 

"Good morning, Katniss." 

"Morning, mom." 

"Katniss..." 

I take the herbs from the jar and pour them in the water waiting for her to continue, but she doesn't. Between asking and ignoring I chose ignoring. 

"Katniss, it has between a couple of nights already..." 

She has been counting. That's a surprise. 

"Katniss. Look at me." 

I turn, mugs in hand. With a glimpse, I acknowledge her, immediately turning my attention to setting the mugs and then turn back grabbing the kettle. 

"Katniss..." 

I pour the tea struggling not to let it pour over the table before I sit in front of her. 

"Are you going to offer me drugs again?." 

"No. No drugs, herbs." 

"Same thing. Same emergency escape, just a different name. I won't take the easy way out, mom, my life is here, my struggles are here, the solutions are here, not in some fairytale world conjured up by herbs or drugs. Things may be hard but I refuse to run." 

"Katniss, stop." Prim has tears in her eyes and in her words. 

I feel my face warming up. The last thing I want is to hurt Prim so I shut up. The silent in the room soon becomes unbearable and I excuse myself. 

 

"Catnip." Gale sits beside me on our usual spot. I've hear him come even if he was as silent as he could be. It's a relief to know my senses are alert even with my lack of sleep. "How are you holding up?" 

"Fine. Things are getting better, I'm getting faster with practice." 

I hear his sigh as I twist the question over like he was asking about the daily run. He wasn't, even I know that, I also know he won't push the issue. 

It's the end of day when we return to 12, we speed through the Hob where even Greasy Sae is packing up, decided to get home in time for Mandatory Viewing. All 12 is following avidly this year's Hunger Games because of Peeta, because he's still alive, and everyone is expecting him to die soon but secretly wishing he doesn't. 

Gale is dropping me off by my house when he goes back to the Games 

"Catnip, it's surprising he's still alive. He's a Victor to all of us, regardless. We will all remember him for it." 

"You talk like he's dead already." 

"Katniss..." He doesn't need to say another word. 

"I know what you believe. You know what I believe. Let's leave it at that." 

"Okay. Let's leave it at that. Time will tell anyways. But still... I worry about you, Catnip." 

That's exactly  why I run for the trees instead for staying home, people worrying when I can't help them, I can't stop their worry, I can't stop my own concerns how can I be able to stop their's? As it is I don't have an answer for Gale. He goes off witthout anything to appease his worry. 

I sit silently at the table. My mother looks hurt, Prim hopeful. Prim wishes for me somehow to smooth things over, I can't. I can't deal with the way my mother wishes for me to run from reality, like she did once. It was wrong for her to do that, everytime she offers me drugs or herbs to sleep, to calm down, to relax, in a word to be numb, I question if she knows she was wrong. I question if she has recognized how wrong it was to go away, to her own world, after my father died. And that angries me. 

Thankfully the show as started and Caesar smiling face fills the screen. The Fallen list is big enough for us to go to the Arena before it reaches District 12. 

To my surprise their first focus is on the Careers that tried, for the first time, to hunt Thresh. But the field is as rigged with traps and dangers as Rue's part of the woods. They barely make out of it alive. 

"Well that didn't go exactly as they planned. And now for the moment you all have been waiting for... is Peeta still alive? Did he woke up and killed Rue? Let's watch shall we." 

I usually like Caesar's interventions but this one, set to keep the audience going, revolts me as much as it hits home. I desperately want to know that Peeta is alive and I know he wouldn't kill Rue, not ever, not Peeta. Put my thoughts are cut short by Peeta's smile filling the screen. He's alive, he's well, he's with Rue, even laughing with her. 

"Yes folks. A new alliance as just formed. Rue and Peeta are now working together. Let's now go live to the Arena and see how are they doing." 

Peeta and Rue sit together eating some berries. From the look of it they haven't been together long. 

"What happen while I was out?" 

"The boy from 10, the girl from 1." 

"So we are down to what?... 8, 9?" 

"8, the boy from 1, both from 2, the boy from 3, the girl from 5, me, Thresh and you. No cannons today." 

Peeta nods. The sky will be silent tonight. 

"The Careers must be hunting by now. You should go." Peeta looks up to the tree next to them. 

"What about you?" 

"I can't climb a tree, Rue." 

"You can stay in a lower branch." 

Peeta looks up once more. 

"Don't think so, Rue. Get safe, I'll find something down here." 

"I'll think of something. Tomorrow I'll think of something." 

As Rue climbs swiftly disappearing in the dark. Peeta walks away from the tree, if he gets caught he wants the Careers far from Rue. He manages to find a large tree trunk and roots big enough for his sleeping bag to go unnoticed. 

He pulls something out of the back pack, a gel of some kind, and spreads it over the burn in his leg. The burn itself is barely noticeable. 

"Mom look at the burn. That gel must be..." 

"It's amazing. It look bad but now it's almost healed." 

"How did he get it, mom?" 

"Sponsors." Peeta has sponsors, as I always thought he would, plus Haymitch is working to get Peeta out. I feel the wave of hope rise in me. Sponsors are essential to ensure Peeta's survival.


	16. The pile

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peeta goes with Rue check the pile of goods the Careers have built.

That night sleep did came, and less haunted than usual. Still by the first signs of dawn I'm already in the woods. I feel well rested and the woods are my World. Today I have to hunt and gather double time as the day before the haul was so small.

The hunting keeps me focus on the real woods in front of me and not on the man made woods of the Arena. By the end of the day I have enough to bargain with the butcher and this time he pays fairly, as the game interests him far beyond what he shows.

I keep some rabbits for Greasy Sae and some for me and Gale, the rest of the game I trade with him, he will sell it and watching his tiny eyes go bright I know he will get a good profit out of it. In District 12 "legal" meat is scarce and arrives from 10 already too expensive, if it weren't for mine and Gale illegal activity the butcher would have a hard time doing his trade, and keeping his family fed.

In 12 our production is coal, hardly something we can eat, and even coal is expensive, one way or another all population depends on the "illegal" trading done mainly at the Hob but also between acquaintances and, since I can remember, also door to door has Peacekeepers pretend not to know about. I know even Head Peacekeeper Cray does trade with Gale often enough. I personally avoid his house as I don't much like the way he looks at me and its common knowledge he takes advantage of woman in need.

I cross the Hob's door looking around and spotting more Peacekeepers here than outside. I don't blame them it's warmer inside.

"Katniss." 

I hand the bag to Greasy Sae. She checks, we bargain, we settle. Gale is so much better than me at this.

"You look hungry."

Since my herb tea before dawn I haven't eaten anything. I've been so focused, on the woods, on 12 and on the Arena, I forgot. It's easy for me to deal with hunger, I learned it the hard way and I can't say I feel hungry even now. But as the smell of the soup Greasy Sae just put in front of me finds my nostrils I can't stop my stomach from growling. 

"Eat." Greasy Sae didn't even need to urge to eat as I don't even know what's in the soup but it smells and tastes divine and I finish faster than usual.

"Katniss you shouldn't be without food for so long."

One look and Greasy Sae face turns red.

"I didn't know you then, Katniss. I would have helped, if I knew."

Greasy Sae says it with good intention and, in her mind she's speaking the truth, but I know better; I know all our lives are a struggle against hunger, even hers. I have no doubt that, as much as she now speaks the truth, back then she would probably not act on it. I don't blame her, she has a big family to feed, she fends as she can.

I nod, giving her peace of mind. If we had died back then, if Peeta didn't exist, I believe she would have shed a few tears in our memory; she wasn't heartless she just had seen too much, suffer too much.

I watch her relax with my nod and I see a shy smile, that is new to me, open into a large smile that reaches her eyes.

"Peeta is finally awake. It was such a joy to see his smiling face."

I fully agree with her. After days of concern and worry seeing his smile was like seeing the Sun in mid Winter.

"And that Rue. She's a constant surprise."

"She's remarkable."

"And so young."

"Peeta will protect her now, Greasy Sae."

"Oh, she can protect herself, Katniss. That much she has proven. As for Peeta... I'm worried, sleeping in the woods like that it's not safe."

It isn't, I chose to believe it was only for last night but I too worry and the thought is nagging me since I saw him lay down last night.

"If the Careers find him he won't stand a chance, Katniss."

"They aren't invincible, Greasy Sae."

"No. That Glimmer... dreadful girl. Glad she's gone."

"Which Career isn't dreadful?"

"You have a point."

"Have to go home. See you tomorrow."

"Tomorrow."

 

Prim is milking the goat outside. I stop for a beat, checking if she's about finish, before entering. My mother is alone in the kitchen. I still haven't forgotten.

"Katniss."

"Hi, mom."

I start taking the game out of the bag.

"Katniss, you were gone awfully early."

"I always go out early."

"Not as much as today."

I ignore her question. For her I'm just a kid, by age I'm just a kid, but, thanks to her, I'm so much older than that.

"Katniss..."

"Mom's right, Katniss."

Prim's voice breaks my cold stone facade.

"I slept well. Don't worry."

"We know you did. But..." I hate when my mother shields herself by making an united front with Prim.

"But what? Wasn't that the point of your nagging yesterday?" I struggle to keep my voice even, calm when I'm boiling inside.

"I wasn't nagging. I was worried... still am." Prim answers as my mother just looks hurt.

And like someone just poured ice in the boiling water, all anger is gone.

Softly I pull Prim to my embrace.

"There's no reason for you to worry."

"There is you just chose not to tell us."

"No. There isn't." I state as firmly as I can master.

As I let go I'm again confronted with the fact that Prim knows me too well.

I take off my father's jacket and the hunting boots, clean myself up, all under their scrutiny. The Mandatory Viewing starts, to my relief, I don't think I've ever been so thankful to Caesar.

Caesar's babbling is lost on me. I just want him to wrap it up and go to the Arena, to Peeta. The mention of Peeta's name calls my attention.

"Peeta and Rue are planning their first action together. It's so exciting." the big happy smile on his face as the opposite effect on me. To Caesar death is the most exciting of all events in the Arena, his happiness terrifies me.

The image shows the Arena, looks like it's the break of dawn, Peeta and Rue sit together.

"So the Careers are on the plain?"

"Yes. With the boy from 3."

"The boy from 3?" Peeta finds this as odd as I did at first.

Rue nods in accent and proceeds.

"An the girl from 5 is close by. I think she's getting food from the pile."

"Pile? What pile?"

"Oh, I forgot to mention. They have stock all the food and remaining weapons in a big pile over by the Lake."

I can see Peeta is drifting somewhere inside his mind. His look doesn't escape Rue's notice either.

"What are you thinking?"

"I'm thinking that, from all the Games I've seen, the Careers only ever lost the ones where they didn't control the food and weapons from the Cornucopia. I'm thinking maybe we can take advantage of the pile ourselves."

"By taking things from it?"

"By destroying it."

Rue's silence is a telltale of her surprise.

"How do you plan on doing that?"

"Well I'll have to see the pile itself but... the Gamemakers did start the fire theme." a wicked smile on Peeta's lips reflects on Rue's.

"That they did."

The camera jumps in time and space. It's now about noon and the image shows Peeta and Rue watching the pile. I can see the puzzled look on Peeta's face, the look that now fills the screen, while Caesar's voice is heard on the background.

"Will they see the trap?"

Looking at Peeta I can tell he's suspicious about the dug up earth around the pile and the pedestals but I'm sure he didn't understood it yet.

The Careers are loudly planning a new attack on Thresh, which they consider their biggest threat.

"Sitting around will not get him killed." Marvel, apparently recovered from their previous attempt in getting into the field where Thresh is hiding, is anxious and looking more lethal than I ever seen him.

"What do you propose, Marvel? Go back in there?" Clove is not all that convince that a full front attack is a good strategy. I personally think she's right.

"Yes." in is anger and thirst for Thresh, Marvel isn't thinking straight.

"I don't agree. I think we should flush him out." Clove clearly doesn't want to get back in there. I for one don't blame her but I really do wish she would go in and stay there with her vicious blades.

"How?"

"Don't know... maybe fire?"

"He didn't get the taste of it that's for sure." Marvel, caresses his left arm where he was slightly burned. 

"Maybe it's time he does. Let's go." Cato voice of command makes clear he's calling the shots, at least for now "You stay here. Guard the pile."

As the boy from 3 follows them with his eyes the girl from 5 enters the screen running fast, startling both me and Peeta.

Her entrance is timely and the boy standing guard doesn't notice her. I expect she will run to the pile and return to the woods with whatever she manages to grip but she stops; like a dragonfly in mid air she starts a strange dance, stepping forward, stepping back, tiptoeing with little jumps and slowly getting close enough to the pile to grab something.

She pulls a small bag out of the pile but it's stuck. She pulls again a bit harder but it's still not enough to free it so she pulls again, a strong pull. It's free from the pile but, as it releases, she gains momentum and, unbalanced, takes a step back, unthought unexpected step. In the close shot of her face I see the blood has drain from it. From afar Peeta doesn't see what I see but he notices the way she hunches her shoulders and head fearing something that doesn't come.

The brightness in Peeta's eyes tells me he figure it out. He signals Rue and they both disappear as the girl starts her dance back. The camera stays on her until she reaches the woods, expecting a wrong step that doesn't happen. But I want to see Peeta, what is he planning now?

I guess the Careers aren't getting anywhere in the field for the camera does my bidding.

"The mines. They used the mines from the pedestals and created a minefield around the pile."

"Then we can't get near it, Peeta, how are we supposed to set it on fire?"

"That really isn't the problem. The problem is the guard, he'll extinguish the fire before it makes any damage."

"So what can we do?"

"I'll think of a way."

The silence that follows is cut by Caesar loud voice "It's so exciting." making me jump. For a few moments I was in the Arena listening to Peeta quiet and soothing voice, enjoying it's calming effect.

My jump startles Buttercup, and I'm rewarded with a hiss. It's the ugliest cat I've ever known but Prim loves him and he keeps the rats away so I tolerate him, he doesn't reciprocate though he just hates me with every fiber of his small furry body.

"Katniss, leave Buttercup alone."

Typical, the coward as ran to Prim's lap and now looks at me with a mocking contentment as he hears Prim chastising me.

"He shouldn't come close to me if he doesn't like it."

It's an old discussion, Prim let's it drop as we are back live at the Arena.

The Careers look to be in a poor shape, the fire didn't work in the humid lands of green crops. Marvel looks specially down, something has bitten him and he doesn't know what it was. I guess unfortunately it wasn't poisonous as he's still breathing and the night sky is, again, silent and pitch dark.

Peeta as return to the cave as Rue sleeps on a branch high above. The girl from 5 is still invisible.

"I have no idea what is her plan." I'm puzzled by her behavior, she's clever there is no doubt about it but she just hides. Then I remember the same can be said about Thresh, but I'm fond of Thresh, the big bulky giant that wants to protect little Rue.

Caesar bids goodnight and all Panem disconnects as the tributes sleep their night away, or don't they? 


	17. The ploy unravels

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peeta and Rue destroy the pile.

"What do you think Peeta is going to do?"

Greasy Sae, like all of us, is curious to see what Peeta is going to do to destroy the pile of goods.

I know what I would do, I would find a way to set off the mines. It had to be something big for they had to ignite all together or it wouldn't work. With my arrows I wouldn't be able to do it, I would have to find another way.

As I am thinking of ways so is everyone in the District and maybe even all Panem. Some ideas are crazy, some are pointless, some wouldn't have the desired effect, and some would definitely work but would either kill Peeta or Rue or both. It seems no consensus can be achieved, the only thing everyone agrees on is that the Careers will have a hard time without that pile ensuring their survival. Peeta is right, it needs to be destroyed.

To my ultimate surprise even my mother and Prim are thinking of ways to destroy that pile.

"Maybe throwing some rocks would set off the mines."

"Just one won't work. The pile needs to be gone." my mother is right.

"What would you do, Katniss?"

"Don't know."

My answer shocks Prim. She has the illusion I know pretty much anything about survival but I don't, there are things so far beyond my comprehension, beyond my understanding and knowledge.

"Gale would know."

"Probably." If I know Gale he would think of an effective strategy, he's good at that.

"Peeta is not Gale, though. Gale knows a lot more about the woods, how to hunt. And you always told us he's the best with traps and snares."

By nightfall both me and Prim stand corrected as Peeta resets a perfect snare. How did he?... training he must have learn it in training. The rabbit is quickly cooked and the small fire extinguished in the dim dawn light. It's a good breakfast for Peeta and Rue.

"Didn't know you could hunt." Rue's words echo my thoughts exactly.

"I don't. I did spent time in the snares station in training. It's the first time I catch anything."

"It's tasty."

Peeta smiles at Rue as she finishes one leg and grabs another one.

"A bit of luck, finally. And in good time. We need to eat."

"You have a plan? Already?"

"Well I thought we could make the pile fall down. It's almost certain some of the boxes and other stuff will fall on the mines, with any luck the pressure will be enough to set them off."

Rue ponders for a bit.

"It might work. But how do we make the pile fall?"

"Is it possible to get a rope?"

"I can make it."

"Then I will make a special spear. One that stays attached to the target even if we pull it off."

Rue smiles. Her smile is so beautiful it pains me to see her in there, in the Arena. Looking at her bright smile I feel like Thresh, I feel like Peeta, she needs to be protected, no matter what.

We get back to studio as Caesar informs us that both Peeta and Rue have been working on their tasks all day. Going live to the Arena we go to the Careers. They took a break from hunting Thresh and are now hunting the remaining tributes in the woods. There are three tributes in the woods, I pray they don't find Peeta or Rue.

As night falls the cave is silent and dark. Peeta is safe from being spotted. Rue on the other hand is in a perilous spot as the Careers walk past the tree where she found shelter for the night, but high up, in the dark, they move pass without spotting her.

As for the girl from 5, her choice is revealed to be on the nose. The Careers don't search near their camp; in their arrogance, they seem to find impossible for someone to hide that close.

We have been lacking more detailed updates on Thresh but tonight, as boredom seems to be taking over the Arena and the show, we get to see a bit more of him. He's setting camp, it's clear he's moving around a lot not staying in one place more than a few hours. The field is big enough to do it and he manages to catch some rodents and feed himself without much problems, he hardly lost weight and he still impresses me by his apparent strength. Time will come when he will have to to face the others tributes but for now he doesn't look to be planning anything.

Caesar is clearly not happy with tonight's show as he invites us to join him the next day without the usual excitement.

"Think Peeta's plan will work?"

"To be honest. I'm not clear on what is the plan, Prim."

"Knock the pile down over the mines."

"That part I got, what I'm not sure is how is he planning on bring it down."

As I talk I try not to show how anxious am getting. The plan can go both ways and if it goes wrong the Careers will spot Peeta. He has to be ready. I find I can never be ready to watch him risk his life.

"It will work, I'm sure it will." I utter more to myself than to Prim.

 

"Hi Catnip."

"Gale."

I welcome Gale with a smile I've missed my friend. I've missed his company, his help, his support.

"So how did the week go."

"Not half bad."

"I heard otherwise."

"Oh?"

"My mother."

The half haul.

"Just one bad day."

"Prim."

"Prim?"

"She's worried about you."

"She has no reason to be."

"Well... she's your sister she's allowed. And you have to accept it."

"I wish she wouldn't."

"You're allowed to wish that and she has to accept it."

"You should tell her that."

Gale just smiles. Like having three brothers make him an expert; the sour words that threaten to leave my mouth are stop by the way he seems so content with the Sun warming him up.

"I've miss this." 

After a chilly morning and even with the still winter cold breeze, the Sun is shining, the clear sky above invites us to linger in the shade, but our tasks are waiting.

While we hunt we don't need to talk, our communication is effective and wordless, we move perfectly aware of each other thoughts and needs, almost as one. Gale has the strategy I have the aim, it works almost like clockwork. The worries, the concerns, the anxiety all stops to give way to the focus of the hunt.

We eat on the shade, some berries and roots we gathered in the morning.

"I'm curious." Gale is lost in his thoughts.

"About?"

"What Peeta's planning?"

That's news.

"Don't look so surprise. He's manage to play the game and keep himself alive. So far. I have to respect him for that. Besides everyone is curious about his plan. Aren't you?"

More worried than curious to be honest but Gale doesn't need to know that.

"Yes. Even Prim is curious about it."

"Prim? Thinking about mines and destroying things? I can't even believe it." he just burst out laughing.

"Incredible, hum? But true."

"Well, will know soon enough."

I take a moment to ponder if I should ask or not.

"Gale... think his plan will work?"

He takes a few moments to consider which I appreciate. He wants to give me a most accurate answer he can.

"Don't know. It can work. It depends on where the mines are and on where the pile falls. Peeta has no way of knowing where the mines are, but, it's essential for him and for the others that that pile gets destroyed."

Without that happening the Careers will never be defeated. We all know it.

 

By nightfall Caesar is ecstatic, whichever way it went it's clear the ploy has unraveled. My heart starts beating faster. From the list I can tell no Careers are dead but both tributes from 3 are.

Before the list moves to District 5 we are watching Peeta, spear in hand, waiting, by the edge of the forest. The Careers are going off in another hunt and he waits until they are out of sight. The boy from 3, unaware he will be dead in a few hours, sits at the Camp watching the woods.

Peeta takes aim, throws the spear fast and hard, a kind of rope drags behind it. The spear head disappears into some kind of box near the bottom of the pile. My breath catches as the rope almost touches the ground before Peeta pulls it.

Peeta looks up to the tree at his side, there's Rue, watching the unaware guard, she nods to Peeta that pulls the rope hard. The box budges but the weight on top of it isn't making things easy. Peeta pulls it again, harder. The box dislodges and the pile moves ever so slightly. Another hard pull and the box is out, falling to the ground and setting of a mine.

For a few moments the world stands still but only one mine as blown. In a frenzy Peeta tries to pull the rope and retrieve it but it's stuck. I watch as a wave of panic reaches his eyes, I know what he's thinking I'm thinking the same; the guard will come he will see the rope and, following it, be able to track them down.

"Run Peeta, run." my words but a whisper that almost seems to cross the sky to the Arena as both Peeta and Rue run away. 

The boy from 3, alerted by the blast that something is wrong runs to the side of the pile where the crater now lies. He starts to look around spotting the rope, as the brightness of his eyes makes clear he understands what happen we all see doom coming to grab him. Only he is unaware of the moment the all pile shifts and comes crumbling down. The noise alerts him too late, mine after mine blows up, as the boxes and debris fall on them and he was too close. I don't hear the cannon but I'm sure no one would with the sound of the mines exploding.

"That was so exciting." finally Caesar as a death to report, Peeta's first victim. "Now lets see what is happening."

Peeta and Rue are sitting, rejoicing.

"We did it."

"You did it, Peeta."

"Without your help it was impossible."

They smile at each other.

"They are going to hunt us down tonight, Rue. You should come with me."

"I'll be safe in the trees, Peeta."

Peeta resembles Thresh so much in this moment it's almost shocking. Rue's probably thinking the same as she bursts out laughing.

"What?"

"Nothing. I was recalling the blast."

Peeta isn't convinced but he smiles.

 

The Careers, specially Cato, are beyond angry.

"We will hunt him down. He won't make it through the night."

"Who?"

"ALL OF THEM."

"Cato..."

"Let's go. NOW."

They go into the woods.

The moment they leave the girl from 5 comes out of hiding with a smile plastered on her face. I don't know why her smile is weird to me until I remember, she too depended on the pile what is she going to do now?

Thresh clearly heard the blast as his face is shown, smiling by the edge of the field looking at the plain. His eyes shine. The game board as just been leveled, he would be happy to know that Rue was a key part on this move.

"Will they find Peeta and Rue? That's the question now. And we are down to the final 8, ladies and gentleman. What an exciting year this is." Caesar is beyond happy.

The anthem starts playing and the face of the last District 3 tribute comes as a shock to Peeta. He had no idea someone had died, he didn't hear the cannon. He has no idea he killed someone, he has no idea that the face shining up there tonight is his kill.


	18. Nightlock

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peeta almost kills himself but Foxface is the real victim.

The next day goes by with no Gale to stop my lonely thoughts. The knowledge that the Careers are on a rampage hunting Peeta making me lose focus.

"He did it, Katniss."

I smile at Greasy Sae.

"Cato will hunt him down until the end of the Earth." Darius is a strong supporter of District 2 male tribute.

"Darius, shut up."

He laughs at Greasy Sae order.

"What? It's a stroke of luck your male tribute as lived as long as he did. When I saw his crying face back on Reaping day I never thought he would last this long."

"He's going to last even longer." Greasy Sae stands up to Darius.

I keep silent and still. If I budge I can't answer for my actions, I may even physically hurt a Peacekeeper.

"You mean become a Victor? He's in the Arena so I guess that's a possibility. But Cato his going to make it hard, very hard, mark my words."

Cato is the person to fear in the pack that is unquestionable to me, nevertheless, he's arrogant and in his arrogance he lets slip so many details. That's Peeta's advantage.

"Katniss, what do you think?"

"I think I'll go home. See you tomorrow."

As I walk out I still manage to catch Darius clear voice.

"What's up with her?"

 I don't hear Greasy Sae answer but for once since a long time ago I know what is happening to me, I've been close to hitting Darius and I would have gone to jail for it. I know Darius would let it pass but not the Peacekeeper at the licor stand that was silently following our every word.

I've never before felt this kind of burst of rage, a rage that has the potential to become physical. In a way I'm running from it by going home, but I can't go to jail, I can't leave Prim to fend for herself alone.

The same Prim eyes me expectantly as I get home.

"Mom's with a patient."

I nod while taking off my hunting gear.

"I know you don't like to talk but... I worry Katniss."

My hand stops mid air. 

"I know. I know you do. You are my sister I too worry about you."

"But I'm safe. I have you and mom."

She doesn't know how close she was from losing me.

"Yes. You do."

I take a step forward making Prim look into my eyes.

"I will do anything to protect you, Prim. From everything. Even from myself. You must know that."

"From yourself? You are my sister. I don't need protection from you, you would never hurt me."

"Not physically but there are other kinds of pain, Prim. And those can hurt even more."

"Is that it? Is that your reasoning?"

I see anger seeping into her eyes.

"Because its wrong. You're wrong. I can see you are hurting, sometimes at least, and you just... suffer alone. I can't do anything, none of us can, except worry about you."

"I wish you wouldn't."

"Wouldn't what?"

"Worry about me. I'm fine, Prim. Maybe some days are better than others but, that's life."

"I too have some days better than others, that is not what was happening a few days ago with you."

"I'm fine now. Can we leave it at that?"

"Do I have a choice?"

No she hadn't, I wasn't giving it to her.

"What are you two arguing about?" my mother clear voice stops my "No".

Mrs. Leaman stands next to my mother looking at me and Prim with the fullest attention a gossiper could master. Prim spares me the lie.

"Nothing." her eyes on Mrs. Leaman. My mother seems to just now notice we aren't alone.

"Mrs Leaman just use the cream as I instructed, everyday. See you in a week."

The woman is so enticed by our posture and obvious lie my mother is close to pushing her out of the door and still she won't budge.

"It's almost time for Mandatory Viewing."

The remainder snaps Mrs. Leaman out of her curiosity of us and focus on her curiosity over Peeta and she finally leaves.

"Now what's going on?"

"Just sisters talk, mom."

Prim stays silent. I'm not lying it was sisters talk. Prim is becoming increasingly aware of what I don't understand myself.

The TV comes to light while we are all standing. Slowly Prim sits, then my mother, they wait for me to sit as Caesar excited voice babbles a welcome to all Panem. I feel my body stiff from the fight with Prim, and from the happy Caesar that can mean there's a new death on the Arena to report. I sit, painfully, Prim's eyes on me, and in that moment I make a decision that I may soon regret, tomorrow I will go to the Square to watch the show.

As always the first images are from the day and not live.

Peeta and Rue are gathering. Rue as shown Peeta the berries he should pick and he's diligently picking a bush by the stream, berry by berry, with a care I've never thought he could master.

The camera stays on him alerting me that there is a reason of interest for the Gamemakers to show viewers. As the camera focus on his hands, my heart drops, these are not the same berries Rue as shown him, their are alike but these berries I know, my father taught me to stay away from them, they are nightlock, poisonous berries.

I feel the blood freezing in my veins as Peeta carefully drops the berries in his jacket set on the ground to receive them. I haven't seen him eating any yet but it's just a matter of time.

Peeta goes back to the bush, the care he spends with the nightlock now just a sadistic prelude to his doom, the Gamemakers love to show this kind of thing, most viewers will be considering why they focus so much on berry picking but then other viewers, like myself, will be in the know, waiting, some dreading some wishing, for the moment Peeta gets one in his mouth and bids goodbye to the Arena, to the world... I can't, I can't. I want to scream, just make him stop just please stop Peeta. To my surprise and shock the camera shifts. 

The screen now shows the girl from 5, she's digging up something inside a backpack. What backpack? I don't recall her having a backpack. The plan widens and I can see Peeta in the background; it's Peeta's backpack. Her strategy seems unchanged, without the pile she gathers where she can in order to survive and then hides avoiding everyone. If it weren't for these little incursions to get food I would even forget she existed... that must be it. She's clever I'll give her that, hide until all tributes are dead, only two little flaws in that plan, first the survivor will eventually come for her or she has to come for him, nevertheless she would have to face whoever he or she is, sure she would be the strongest in that scenario but still its risky; second and even more decisive the Careers would never forget she's out there, they are Careers, they trained all their lives for this I'm sure they know exactly how many tributes remain for them to kill together.

She's not happy as she drops the backpack. Her hands empty. Peeta has nothing she wants in the backpack, no food for her. She looks up to where Peeta is picking nightlock, still unaware of the danger he's in. Closer to her something catches her eye, Peeta's jacket filled with berries. All Panem sees her taking a hand full before running, just in time to avoid being seen by Peeta.

The cameras follows her, leaving me to painfully wonder about what is happening to Peeta. Caesar loves this kind of thing, as do the Gamemakers, they take pleasure in following the girl, show her eating, collapsing on the ground, never to get up again, another life lost too soon.

Rue, high in a tree picking chestnuts, hears the cannon as does Peeta. We see them both on the split screen. Blood starts to warm me up again, Rue won't allow Peeta to eat those berries.

"Rue. Rue."

Peeta is so desperate he has even forgot the Careers are hunting them.

"Peeta."

I see the relief in Peeta's face when she answers before he becomes suddenly alert, watching around, checking for Careers. But only Rue steps closer to join him. 

"We have to find another way to communicate. Calling our names out loud isn't a good idea."

Rue ponders looking around up in the trees.

"Do you know Mockingjay's?"

"Yeah. We have them in 12. They repeat every sound."

"I sing to them in my District."

Rue sings to them now, just a simple melody, but so beautiful. She has such a beautiful voice. The mockingjay's reply filling the woods with music.

"You try."

"I can't sing." a smile dances on his lips, like a secret he keeps hidden.

"Can you whistle?"

Peeta does just that and the mockingjay's reply.

"If I hear that it means you are safe."

"If I hear your song you are safe."

"Exactly."

The hovercraft approaches creating wind engulfing them both as it takes away the girl from 5. Some berries still on her hand.

"Rue we should go."

Peeta's checking the woods around them again for Careers, the hovercraft is too close, the tribute died so close to them and in Peeta's mind it had to be the Careers; but Rue's attention is on the berries.

"Peeta, are those the berries you gathered?"

Peeta follows Rue's finger as it points to Foxface hand.

"It looks like it."

Rue goes to check the ones still on the jacket.

"These are nightlock, Peeta. They are poisonous."

As the truth sinks in, Peeta's face turns ashed. He picks the jacket to throw them away.

"Wait."

Rue picks a handful into a small purse.

"They may be useful later."

Peeta looks at her puzzled but doesn't question.

 

"We are now on the final 6. What and exciting year this is."

The Careers spent the day hunting the woods with no luck. But they rejoiced on the cannon. There are now only two tributes in the woods and one in the field. They are closer to their goal, their resolve builds. And they seem set on hunting everyone on the woods before getting back to Tresh.

Thresh is clearly a disappointment to Caesar. He's not making anything interesting in these Games. I have a feeling that, if Caesar had the power, he would kill Thresh himself.

Live from the Arena, tonight we have a face to be shown up there, never knew her name, maybe Peeta did, I don't see any emotion on Peeta's face for this girl, none, it shocks me until I recall that, for him, it's not even a kill she poison herself and she save herself from a worse death.


	19. Final four

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A painful goodbye that echoes all Panem.

The day goes by in automatic. A wave of panic overcomes me when I cross the Hob door with a full haul in the bag but no recall on how I got it. I can't retrace my steps, I've been out of it all day, my mind too entangled in the Arena as the finale is dangerously approaching and the Careers are after Peeta. The risk and danger that this kind of mental state means in the woods makes me shiver, it's too little too late though I could have died today I'm lucky I didn't.

Too disturbed to appear calm I leave the Hob and go to the Square, joining the dozens already there waiting for the show. To my surprise Gale's there too, I can't stop myself from wishing he was home.

Still, fighting to keep my worries from showing, I join him as Caesar welcomes us back to the 74th Hunger Games with a happy excitement that is too much for my liking.

"Someone as died, Katniss." Gale states matter of factly. Looking at Caesar, I know he's right, one or more families  will be mourning their children in a few minutes. Just... please, not Peeta's.

We're at the Arena, it's early morning it seems, Rue's gathering some berries, I try to spot Peeta but the camera doesn't show him, instead it shows Marvel. I feel the cold creeping into my veins; The Careers have split, in an effort to cover more ground on their hunt, Marvel is close to Rue but I don't think he noticed her yet but the fact the cameras keep on her and on him, screen split in two, is a telltale of what's coming.

Marvel's hunting thread is quiet and, without surprise, when Rue notices him he's already too close.

Like with an unseen rabbit running from me in the woods I see when Marvel hears Rue running away, like a mirror of my own actions Marvel moves after the sound, for a moment he doesn't know who he's running after but then Rue calls for Peeta and I see his smile, I can almost read his thoughts, he found an easy prey, he speeds up his run, a clear image of the prey in his mind now.

It's the moment the Gamemakers have prepared themselves for, the kind of moment they revel in.

The screen splits in three, Peeta is walking the woods calm and quiet, careful in every step he takes until he hears Rue's call, in that moment all his worries on being found are gone as he runs to Rue.

"Climb, Rue, climb." she's still running, why isn't she climbing? And with the frame they now show I know why, up head a big tree and a perfect tracker jackers nest up above, it must be one of her rigged trees; her target on this run, a refuge and a defense at the same time.

Marvel runs much faster but the screen is still split in three when Rue reaches the tree and starts climbing. She's safe, from up there she can even target Marvel. I now worry for Peeta, if she drops that nest when he's close by the tracker jackers may kill him too.

In the screen, framing a climbing swiftly Rue, we see both boys running, Peeta to our left, Marvel to our right, both with a spear at hand, both ready to target whatever it's at the end of their run. 

The sound of running that fills the Square is suddenly overcome by another sound, the ominous familiar sound of a branch breaking. Did Rue got to the branch with the nest? Already? As Rue fights to grab hold to something, anything, on her way down I join the collective gasp.

Rue's falling, a branch broke, the branch itself it's not in focus, could it have been a Gamemakers trick? An effective way to help speed things up and peek the show interest when it was bordering boredom? Everything goes through my mind but now it's not the time to ponder causes as the image just shows Rue's fall not its cause.

Marvel and Peeta gain speed, they too heard the branch breaking. Marvel smile revolts me, Peeta concern and sense of urgency is just painful as we can all see he won't be there in time.

Even if Rue survives the fall, Peeta won't be there in time to save her from Marvel, I feel wet warm tears watering my eyes. The screen is not split anymore, Rue's getting up grabbing hold of the tree for balance as Marvel stops in front of her, smiling. I see Peeta coming from the left, through a bush. In unison both of them throw the spears. In Rue's eyes there isn't even surprise as Marvel spear hits her fully, but as Peeta spear hits Marvel he turns to face his attacker in utter shock. In his urgency to save Rue Peeta as thrown the spear hard, it goes through Marvel that falls to the ground, a surprise look still on his face.

In 12 everyone falls silent, in the Arena Peeta runs to Rue.

"Rue..."

He checks her wound.

"Rue, it's okay."

But it isn't, he knows it isn't, we all can see it isn't.

The cannon goes off. Peeta holds Rue closer his lips in her forehead, gentle. Was it for her?

"Peeta... you have to win." Rue soft voice is too weak, it's just a matter of time.

Peeta denies this with a slight movement of head.

"I'll be alone, Rue."

"And you will win."

He wants to deny it again but he can't, not to her, not now.

"Promise me."

He doesn't. He can't bring himself to utter what can be a lie, those that are the last words she hears.

Rue closes her eyes. A single tear falls down her cheek.

"Rue... don't go. Please." 

Peeta desperately calls for her but the cannon confirms she's already gone.

As Peeta cries silence lingers in 12. Silent tears fall down my face, my pain enhanced by his.

"It's okay, Catnip. It's okay."

Gale pulls me to his embrace as tears now fall loosely down my face. He knows how much Rue reminded me of Prim and yes that takes it's toll but seeing Peeta hurting like this is what turns it unbearable.

Peeta is not letting go of Rue, he stays there cradling her for so long I think Caesar is going to cut it short but he doesn't. When Peeta finally stops and gets up the camera follows him.

"What's he doing?"

"Picking flowers looks like." Peeta is picking flowers for Rue, no one ever did this before in the Arena, at least since I can remember.

Rue was not only his ally she was his friends, like a sister he never had; like he would at home he honors Rue the best he can. In the Arena, with the limited resources, he covers her body with flowers, her innocence enhanced, her youth impossible to deny. Rue's no longer just a tribute but a child, loved and cared for by so many. How I understand, support and love, Peeta in this moment. My own wording takes me by surprise, no that's not it, that can't be it... it just can't. The pressure in my heart is just pain for Rue, sweet Rue, now gone; her death was just too painful.

I look back at Peeta, it's almost like I see him for the first time as he hesitantly walks away taking the backpacks from both Rue and Marvel in his hand. As the hovercraft pulls Rue up in the sky, again he takes three fingers from his left hand to his lips, his heart and up to her as the hovercraft door closes taking her away forever. The last gesture of respect, love and care that is available to him.

Everyone feels Peeta's pain, Rue's family pain, District 11 pain, everyone. Around me sadness is slowly turning to anger. How can the Capitol do this to children? Innocent children? How can they do this?

"What an exciting day." Caesar happy excited voice startles all of us as the show cuts to studio and his exuberant sparkly self fills the screen. Caesar excitement and happiness adds fuel to the burning fire but he proceeds, unaware.

We are back live to the Arena, where Peeta looks defeated. It's been hours but tears still run silently down his face as he looks up to the sky sitting on the ground in the woods, no protection, no shelter.

"He's a sitting duck. What's he doing?" Gale urges Peeta to move, to hide himself. But he doesn't, he's too numb, seems unable to move. 

Not even Rue's face up in the sky makes him budge. I too urge him to react, he needs to survive, to be back. For Rue, for himself... for me. After today I don't know what would become of me if he doesn't come back. Maybe the woods in 12 won't be as forgiving as they were today ever again.

The musical sound of a parachute falling in the Arena surprises us all. District 12 tributes rarely get them, the fact it falls right next to Peeta makes some people gasp in surprise, to me it's not much of a surprise that Peeta has sponsors but the timing; Peeta looks like a tribute ready to lose and sponsors support winners. 

At first we can't see what's inside but Peeta takes it out. A necklace, a medallion. Peeta looks at it, opens the latch, and slowly, his stance changes. With the cameras still focused on him he looks straight to them nodding, a new resolve in his eyes. A message to whom? Haymitch?

With the medallion carefully place over his heart he caress it one last time before getting up.

The next image we get, Peeta is tuck away in the cave, ready to sleep.

"What's in the medallion did you see?" The question goes from mouth to mouth through the Square.

I have no idea what it was but it did the trick, Peeta looks to be fighting to survive again.

By the lake Cato and Clove also watch the sky, the images of both Marvel and Rue makes them rejoice, only two tributes left for them to hunt. 

Thresh, on the other hand, looks devastated at the sight of Rue's face, I'm sure he will cry himself to sleep tonight.

The anger in 12, appeased by curiosity over Peeta, builds up again with the Careers reaction, but it's a quiet wave that keep Peacekeepers unaware of anything being wrong, for them it was just another death, for us it was more, much more.

"Let's go. I'll walk you home."

Gale can hardly contain his anger. He always felt the injustice and the fact our lives belong to the Capitol much stronger than I did, many times I was scared he could act on it, this is just one more of those times.

"Gale..." my voice a whispered warning.

"It could have easily be Prim, Katniss." 

I can't stop the shiver.

"Don't..."

"Or you."

I couldn't deny the truth.

"It wasn't."

Away from the Square on the path from town to the Seam he lets loose the anger.

"It's not fair, Katniss. She was just a child."

"Life never is fair, Gale." but I agreed with him about Rue.

"That's not life that's murder for others entertainment."

That word sounds so accurate when we think about the Games.

"Gale... stop. Please stop. We have families, they need us."

A few feet away my house waits, a dim light in the window.

I hear his sigh, anger appeased but not gone, never gone.

"You're right, Catnip. You're right. And I'm betting Posy will cry herself to sleep tonight, she loved Rue."

He waits untill I open the door and bids me goodnight. I'm terrified of the day Gale outs any of his opinions in front of Peacekeepers and he will be lost to us forever.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Rue's death is painful in every platform and no matter how many times I read it or see it. I couldn't do it differently here, it leaves scars in everyone, that's my way of honoring this great character.


	20. It's not raining it's pouring

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It seems the Gamemakers really do want to speed things up. After targeting, unsuccessfully Peeta with the fire; possibly Rue in the tree successfully they turn their attention to Tresh.

The gloomy morning gives way to a sunny day in District 12.

My mother and Prim were waiting for me by the fire the night before. As I informed them I was with Gale they ask no more questions only Prim chastised me for not taking her to the Square too.

"I'll take you there tomorrow. I promise."

There with her friends she will to be too distracted to focus her attention on me..

Watching the show is getting harder and harder with each new death. With Rue and Marvel demise it's now two against one plus one, as Thresh and Peeta are not allies.

If I was one of the Careers I would hunt the one I think is stronger and that means Thresh, which would keep them off Peeta for a while longer. But then they may consider Peeta a easier prey and hunt him first. No one knows what is going to happen but, as everyone starts losing hope once again I find my own hope remains unwavered.

The daily tasks keep me from thinking about my emotions from the night before but, by lunch time, as my thoughts go back to Peeta so does my every emotion and I have to face the real possibility that the more dangerous of them all, the one I shielded myself from everyday of my life since my father died, may have come for me with a vengeance. Love... a dreaded word in my world, a weakness that has the potential to alienate oneself from everything even your own survival.

Love for Peeta, the baker's son; a Seam fatherless girl and a Merchant son, the mere thought would make me laugh if the impossibility of the all situation wasn't so painful. Adding to that impossibility Peeta will come back a Victor; rich, never needing to work for the rest of his life. His only task, annual task, will be mentoring District 12 tributes. And suddenly Haymitch comes to mind, his pain, his life, taking two kids to slaughter every year; no richness, no good living, is worth that suffering...

"Peeta..." his name comes as a cry. It dawns on me he's never leaving the Games, the Games will live with him forever.

 

The emotions inside the Hob are also boiling. Some don't understand why Peeta was so sad about Rue's death; she had to die sooner or later, now, didn't she? Greasy Sae answered angrily to everyone that dared voice that opinion near her stall.

But they were a minority. Most of District 12 population had gotten fond of Rue, her loss was deeply felt by most of us.

"What's in that medalion you think?"

"A photo of his family maybe."

"Probably his mother. Did you see her the other day? So many tears... you would believe it if you didn't knew her." 

"Yeah. With a mother like that he needs a girlfriend." all the man around laugh. 

"Poor girl though."

I fill my mouth with a spoon of the soup a laughing Greasy Sae just set in front of me, keeping to myself, hearing them unnoticed.

"I don't know of any girlfriend." Leary is in the same class as Peeta. "Not that Delly and Madge don't try. He just keeps to himself on that matter."

"Delly sure seems to think she's his girlfriend."

Like someone that shared what he thought to be a great gossip and finds that everyone already knows and some even know more than him, Leary face turns red.

"Well, like I said he keeps to himself. Maybe she is."

I'm not a friend of Delly, not really anyway. I know her from school, from town, we hardly ever have spoken. She's the kind of person I don't get, she likes everyone she's friends with everyone she excuses everyone.

I'm not like that I will never be like that. Maybe that's what Peeta likes, a gentle girl that loves everyone.  The thought pains me but I have to deal with it, its possible Peeta loves Delly and I'm not one to hide from painful situations. 

I'm not gentle in fact I'm acutely aware I'm not even a nice person, adding the fact I'm a criminal that can be arrested anytime the Peacekeepers want I'm probably the complete opposite of Delly.

After a few laughs over Mrs Mellark, who is generally not liked, Greasy Sae decides it's enough.

"Men are worse than women with their gossip. Leave the boy alone, he has so much to worry about as is."

He actually doesn't as we all find that night. 

As we enter the Square, Prim runs to her friends and I walk to Gale, afraid of what may come next, up in the screen. But with the first images my spirits level up.

Caesar is forcing a smile which is a relief. We soon see his motive; the show is bordering on boring. The Gamemakers, it seems, want to end the show. Having Thresh hidden in the field just keeping himself alive out of reach from the other tributes, isn't interesting for the viewers, just like Rue keeping herself alive in the trees. I'm still convinced that branch didn't break naturally and somehow their new trick targeting Thresh just seems to confirm it.

As the Careers attempts to go into the field were unsuccessful and burning the field to get Thresh to come out was also a bust, the Gamemakers sent rain and the non stop rain is flooding the field.

It's not the first time I watch the Gamemakers lose their patience when a tribute just remains there hidden, in general they tend to overlook these kind of tributes while there are other sources of interest but, as only Peeta and Thresh remain and Peeta has been working the show pretty well Thresh has the odds against him.

According to Caesar, it has been pouring all day and it seems, its going to go on all night as Thresh shields himself from the rising water the best he can. The field has gained the consistency of a swamp and he was having problems moving around but there are still some dry spots where he can take cover.

We watch Thresh coming to acert his chances to run for the woods but Cato and Clove are just there, high in the plain, watching the field, waiting. They can't risk leaving, they are as trap as Thresh; the game is at a stand still.

Unaware to all the drama Peeta's trap in the cave, unable to leave even to get food. There he keeps fiddling the medallion where we now can see the exterior engraving.

"What is that?"

Gale question is more to himself than to me but, as the shiny medallion stops twirling in Peeta's hand, I'm able to identify the image. Wings spread, caught in mid flight like he was flying in the sky high above... I would forever recall this small bird I've learn from my father to love.

"It's a mockingjay."

"A reminder of Rue you think?"

I don't know. It's in moments like these I understand I really don't know much about Peeta; the thought upsets me, makes me feel like I lost something precious.

"His not showing what's inside though. I guess all those romantic softies in the Capitol are dieing to see the picture inside."

Gale mocks the Capitol folks but looking around I don't think we are lacking romantic softies here in 12. Prim for one talks of nothing else.

"It's good for the show." I note.

"That's true. Haymitch is doing surprisingly well."

Haymitch, Gale has a point, he's doing pretty well. Sponsors by now have to be a lot as getting something into the Arena gets more and more costly as the end gets nearer. The medallion was an expensive gift and was delivered exactly when Peeta needed the reminder of something he dearly what's to live for.

The romantic softies, as Gale calls them, immediately remember his interview and the girl he mention, some unknown girl from 12 all Panem was eager to know, but we can all be off the mark; Gale thinks of Rue, of her dying wish, he too can be off the mark. No matter what is in fact inside that medallion what's truly a stroke of genius on Haymitch part is that everyone in Panem is wondering about it and that's good for the show, which in turn is good for Peeta. 

"The medallion was a stroke of genius."

"Peeta would be dead by now if it weren't for it."

We are back at the Capitol studio, Caesar's sour face filling the screen.

"Caesar isn't happy."

"When the most interesting thing we have to talk about is a medallion delivered yesterday it's a terrible day for him."

"But a great day for us."

"It's not going to be like this for long Katniss. Things are going to get real bloody real fast."

The moment the field turns to a lake Thresh will have to run and then the killing will start and, in the end, Peeta will be hunted. It will happen, later than sooner as it turns out but I won't be ready... I will never be ready.

 

The rain in the Arena lasts two more days. Thresh holds on in the now flooded field until it's a choice between deaths.

"Gale is that a snake?"

"Yes. A big one."

I've never seen a snake swimming before especially not one as big as that one.

"It's a monster."

"If it catches Thresh he won't stand a chance."

"Does he have any chance to stand on?"

"No, you're right. He doesn't stand a chance anymore."

Thresh is visibly weak and cold, we can all see it's a matter of choosing the way to go, between exposure and the Careers, he won't hold on much longer.

In the last day the field is nothing but a lake and Thresh chooses to die fighting. He cames out and tackles Cato, taking both Careers by surprise. 

In his first strike he manages to cut open Cato's arm which gives him an advantage on the male Career, but Clove is vicious and a master with knifes and soon there are more cuts in Thresh than in Cato.

Still, in physical strength the Careers aren't at the top of their game, they are hungry and in that game Thresh has the advantage.

The fight lasts more time than I would expect and its fierce, I cringe at every blow they manage to get in Thresh.

In the end numbers tip the scale, Thresh can't stop the blows coming from opposite directions. Cato final stab goes through his chest and the big loving gigant falls to the ground as the cannon announces a new death.

In his hideout Peeta watches Thresh face in the night sky, he knows what it means. The odds are against him, again. The Careers will come for him next.

"Catnip, are you alright?"

"Yeah. It was painful to see Thresh go."

"Gamemakers want a good show, he didn't deliver."

On the show point of view, out of the survivors, Peeta has been the one delivering but now that doesn't really count for anything.

"Only three remain join us tomorrow for a special at lunch time."

No, no, I'm not ready.

"Katniss?"

Gale's voice comes from far away and it takes sometime for me to find the way back to him.

"Yeah."

 "You okay?"

"It's the finale. Already."

"Looks like."

He doesn't say it but he's thinking it like the rest of Panem. The Careers will find Peeta soon, maybe even with the help of the Gamemakers, kill him and by lunch time tomorrow they will be fighting to see who, from 2, wins this year.


	21. The Finale

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The finale. Peeta is alone against the Careers, the Gamemakers and their tricks.

The next morning I find I can't stay in the woods, I'm too anxious, too worried. Respecting the animals that got caught in snares; they shouldn't be there more than strictly necessary; I make the line and turn back. By the Meadow I find my faith fighting gloomy thoughts. I still believe but I'm terrified by the odds. It's two against one, both Cato and Clove are terrifying to me, and Peeta as to face them both. The sun its almost mid day high, I have to get up, get to the Square, Prim may not forgive me but this time I can't go get her, I'm struggling to walk, to breath.

The Square is half filled and this time it won't get much more people than this. The excitement and hope that have been a constant presence in the crowd several nights ago have now vanish. Adding to the feeling of lost hope the mine workers don't leave their workplace, a telltale sign that the Capitol is not expecting a long show. Mine workers will do Mandatory Viewing inside the mine complex and, as soon as it's over, go back down and finish their daily work quota.

Caesar welcomes us, he's content almost happy, the show is ending,  there will be deaths to report today.

But, against what seemed to be Capitol prediction for a short show, I find myself predicting just the opposite as Peeta's face is the first to be shown up there on the screen as soon as we go live to the Arena. A resolve about him as he sits by... no, no, no, the lake. No Peeta not there. My breathing becomes shallow and fast, encompassing the speedy heartbeat that rings in my ears.

On a split screen we see Peeta, by the lake near the Cornucopia, while Cato and Clove hunt him in the woods. For now he's safe, while they are in the woods Peeta's safe.

In my relief I forgot the Gamemakers are the ones setting the time frame in the Games and they have gather all of us for a special viewing of the Finale. The 74th Hunger Games are coming to an end, now, in the next few minutes. The unexpected darkness that falls in the Arena comes as a reminder of the Gamemakers unlimited power, I brace myself for this still unknown trick.

In the woods the Careers stop as daylight suddenly disappears. What ever is going to happen it's starting in the woods as the Cameras only show the Careers.

In the dark both Cato and Clove are alerted by a sound. We hardly hear it trough the speakers in 12 but it's definitively there, the leaves, the bush seem to move just slightly to their right. All falls silent. Even us in the 12 are quiet, something is moving, lurking, hunting. A second, two seconds, we all wait. Clove and Cato are the first to see it, what ever it is their faces turn ashed. And they run away from it. I can't see what they have seen but Clove is so terrified I could almost feel for them if they weren't running for the plain, right into Peeta.

The scene shifts showing the Careers running for us and what runs right behind them, after them, the Gamemakers creation. A collective gasp echoes my own... mutts, dogs the size of bears, are hunting the Careers down, ensuring they run to Peeta. If they stop, if they tumble, if they lose speed, they are dead.

Cato and Clove reach the plain, they don't even notice Peeta standing there, they run directly to the Cornucopia. They struggle to get to the top platform of it. Like a horn, the Cornucopia tail touches the ground but between the end of the tail and the highest part of it's mouth there's a big platform, the highest where the out of breath Careers take refuge, and a smaller middle one, half way down the tail that may not be enough for Peeta to seek refuge has he too runs for the Cornucopia, away from the mutts. Peeta doesn't have a choice he follows the Careers lead joining them in the top platform.

Now the three remaining tributes are stuck together in the slippery metal top platform, a pack of mutts waiting for them on the ground, surrounding the Cornucopia.

Around me I hear some screams, some sobs; I'm struggling not to fall to the ground as despair takes all my strength away, my legs unable to carry my own weight.

From the three Peeta is the one in better shape, he's not weak, he's fed and was the one that ran the least. But I can tell from his eyes, carefully watching the Careers, that he has no illusions, now is the moment he will know, the moment when he will live or die, it's all going to be decided now.

Clove is the first showing signs of recovery. Starts to look around checking for the mutts, for Cato. Her breath still uneven but enough for the basic defensive actions to be ensured. It's only a matter of time until she spots Peeta just there, trapped with the both of them.

A smile dances on her lips. I feel sick, wish I was home...

"There you are." she looks like Buttercup when he traps a mouse and starts playing with the poor creature until he kills it.

A still recovering Clove slowly but steadily stands up, Peeta follows her lead, eyes trained on her every move.

"Time to say goodbye, 12."

She throws a knife I didn't even saw her grabbing. A scream comes out of my lips, unstoppable, as Peeta manages to dodge it and the now harmless knife falls down to the ground bellow. The mutt near it smells it and turns it, like it's analyzing the blade for some kind of clue.

Clove grabs another knife, but her supply must be getting low as she decides against throwing it and gets closer to Peeta, her plan is clear,  she will cut him up close this time, like she did to Thresh.

There's no room to run, no room to dodge, when the blade is this close, the only defense is attack. But Clove is a trained killer she knows exactly what Peeta is thinking so she tackles him first caughting him off guard. But it's a mistake, I know it it is, Clove doesn't know what is Peeta special skill, she's unaware of his strength, like a Career she's arrogant judging Peeta a weak tribute, like all that come out of 12. For this mistake she pays dearly as her strength is no match to his. The fight lasts a surprisingly short time as Peeta manages to pull is legs under her stomach and, with a strong push, sends her flying off the Cornucopia, to find the mutts pack waiting for her on the ground.

Clove screams echo the silent Square, no one speaks, her screams engulf us. Everyone is in a state of shock, happy Peeta survived, wanting everything to end. None of us liked her but being pulled apart by mutts is too much suffering, too much to be endured by anyone.

"Clove..." Cato scream is still weaker than it should.

For Peeta it's not over yet. It shocks me he's not showing any emotion for what is happening a few feet down, on the ground, to Clove; his eyes now trained on Cato. Untill it dawns on me Peeta can't think of Clove now, not when Cato the scariest of all tributes, the hardest contender for the title, is there on the other end of the platform. Peeta takes the backpack off his back pulling out his own knife.

Clove screams come to an end, her death confirmed by the cannon.

"You killed her." Cato is enraged.

Peeta doesn't answer, he knows what's coming. This time Peeta is expecting the attack but Cato is stronger than Clove, Peeta and him match each other.

The fight lasts. Blow after blow, the blood keeps spilling from both of them turning the metal surface slippery,  impossible for them to stand on. Blow after blow I see Peeta geting weaker.

I want to cry but my eyes are dry and hurt from the lack of moist. I want to scream but it catches in my through as Peeta falls to the middle platform of the Cornucopia tail. With sheer luck he doesn't fall off it but the mutts can almost get to him. They struggle hard, Peeta's blood, pouring from a leg wound, is spilling to the ground turning the sides of the platform as slippery as the top of the Cornucopia, the sound of the mutts claws against the metal gives me chills, but their paws slip on the blooded surface; they can't reach him.

Cato also tries to get to Peeta, finish the job but the slippery surface and the mutts waiting for someone else to fall off the Cornucopia makes even moving a risky move. He gives up, decides to wait. Any half skilled hunter, or killer, knows Peeta his losing too much blood, he will be death in a few minutes, so Cato sits waiting as the mutts keep fighting to get to Peeta.

For a few moments he just sits there but then something catches is attention, Peeta's backpack. With a weak smile he pulls it to him and starts searching inside it. For what? There's nothing there that would interest him.

But I'm not with Cato; I'm with Peeta, as his eyes close and he slips into oblivion. As life drains out of him I feel like my body's shutting down, slowly, painfully. The cameras are showing me Peeta until Cato finds something that does interest him, it's food. He's hungry, Careers don't know how to be hungry.

I don't understand why the cameras don't go back to Peeta as Cato is just eating the remains of Peeta's food. But suddenly I understand... Cato empties the insides of a small purse in his mouth. I know that purse, it's not Peeta's it's Rue's. It's Rue's nightlock. Cato's dead he just doesn't know it yet. As Cato unconscious body slips in the surface, the cannon signals a new and final death.

"Who?" the question fills the Square.

In a Gamemaker point of view this is perfect, all Panem is wondering who survived and who died hanging on, attention locked in the screen, so they take their time, moments that seem hours in my anguish, in the frozen and painful stillness of my own body. The hovercraft is already casting its shade on the Cornucopia when Claudius Templeton answers our question.

"Ladies and gentleman the winner of the 74th Hunger Games, from District 12, Peeta Melark."

My legs fail, the door step to the butcher stops my fall. I sit there as the medical team is forced to come down for Peeta. My eyes still hurt but now burning tears fall down my face. No one notices, everyone is dealing with their own emotions. There's no rejoice, no happiness, District 12 has a new victor but he may yet die.


	22. The Victor

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Katniss and all Panem are kept from any news from the Victor. Every year there is this period, after the Games, when the Victor is off cameras, but usually those Victors were last seen breathing and sometimes smiling, this is not Peeta's situation and everyone is concern about his wellbeing. But soon to District 12 joy the Interview between the Victor and Caesar is set. There all Panem understands where the Mockingjay reference came from.

We have a victor but no one is celebrating. A half living Peeta disappeared into the bowels of the overcraft, carried by the medical team. I'm no healer but I've seen enough people dieing in our kitchen table to know Peeta lost too much blood.

The Square slowly goes back to normal, the shops reopen, people move on to their daily activities.

I can't keep sitting here as the butcher shop just opened behind me and people want to get in without stumbling on me. I struggle to get up. Leaving the Square I walk away. I can't go home, not looking like this.

I find refuge by the Meadow yet again. In the next few days no news is good news. After the Arena there is always a hiatus; no one knows what is happening with the Victor before he or she shows up for the interview with Caesar and the Crowning by President Snow. 

But there's no real mystery on what they are doing to the Victor this year, they must be fighting to keep him alive. I find solace in the knowledge Peeta will have full medical care in the Capitol, where they have means that are unavailable to us in 12. There's still hope he will survive, he just has to keep on fighting, keep on believing he will come home after the crowning by President Snow.

The thought President Snow is going to touch Peeta makes me shiver. President Snow that rules Panem unchallenged for years, an old man that remains unchanged, year after year. I don't know his age I just know he's old because, unlike Caesar, he doesn't conceal it he just seems to have stop aging years ago. Everytime he shows on the screen I feel my hair spiking up, it's never good news even when they may seem to be. He either comes to demand more work, more sacrifice, announce an event in the Capitol that will make us work double hard and have even less to eat, or he talks about the Games. He's a strong supporter, voting them to be a Panem uniting event; for me they're just a cruel way to keep us all living in fear. I our never tell Gale this but, his ramblings did echo inside me, especially after this year, especially after Peeta, and Rue.

As the Sun starts losing its warmth and night approaches I get home to find Prim has been crying.

"Prim?"

"Why don't they just say it?"

"Say what?"

"That Peeta's dead."

My pain renews with vicious strength. Prim knows so much more than me about healing.

"He's not." I say it more to myself than to her "They have medical experts and technologies far beyond ours in the Capitol, Prim. Peeta will be alright."

"Katniss is right, Prim. They can work miracles in the Capitol."

"But... he lost too much blood, mom."

"They can give blood to him, that's not a problem. Not in the Capitol."

"They can?" I haven't remember that myself.

"Sure they can. Peeta will be just fine." My mother embraces Prim. Its been years but now, in this moment, I wish she was holding me and not Prim.

 

By Sunday we still have no news from Peeta. That can only mean he's alive. No news, good news.

Gale as join me in the woods at the break of dawn, and on a whim, I dared him to follow me to an old hunting spot my father loved. We now sit together by the Lake.

It's been years since I came here, it's a long walk from 12. It was a surprise to see this place hasn't changed much since I came here as a child. For cover we used an old abandon house, the wood I gathered with my father all those years ago is still in there, waiting to be used. In this Lake I learned to swim under my father's careful vigilance. It was our spot, like the rock from where we can see miles and miles is now mine and Gale's.

"You were right."

Lost in happy memories of my father, Gale's words reach me off context, their meaning lost.

But Gale goes on, lost in his own thoughts, he's not really conversing, he's spilling out his thoughts to me, as he often did.

"Peeta surprised me. I never thought he would make it. You did."

I did, and I had wounds inside that attested as much. The painful marathon of the ones that are left behind left scars I feared would never heal.

"Caesar should be happy. It was the bloodiest finale I've ever seen, and then 12 wins. To everyone surprise."

A smile comes to my lips. After all the reruns they've made us watch, I've come to a surprising conclusion about this year Finale, one that added one more surprising quality to this year's Hunger Games.

"And District 11 made the last kill of the Games." I add.

It takes a beat for Gale to process my words, but then his smile matches my own.

"Your right. Rue killed Cato."

"Exactly. Who would have thought."

We both recall Rue. I never met her, still I feel like I lost someone precious.

"That was the most painful of all deaths, Catnip."

I nod. It was painful for all of us. Only the way Peeta honored her, smoothed the pain.

"She was murdered but she was loved, even inside the Arena."

Murdered... the word comes as a shock. Tributes get killed they don't get murdered. Gale doesn't even notice the weight of my wording, the implication. Maybe because for him it's no news he knows it to be true, I was the one reluctant to believe it. Still I'm the first one that uses it for the death of tributes.

"We all loved her."

He pauses for a beat.

"That was the moment for me you know."

"Moment?"

"The moment I saw Peeta like you do."

After our slight disagreement over Peeta I never expected Gale to change his mind but he did. He sits silent with his thoughts like his all world has changed and he just came to terms with it. 

 

"It's tonight, Katniss." Prim is so excited when I get home she's almost jumping.

"What's tonight?"

"Peeta's interview with Caesar."

The game bag slips from my hand to the table; one of the rabbits tumbles out.

"What?"

"They saved him. He's alive and tonight he'll be crown Victor."

And then he will come back home. Home, safe.

"We should go to the Square. Can we, mom?"

"We'll all go." My mother's smile was to Prim.

"I'll get ready." I have to leave, I am happy just like them but it has a different effect on me.

Sitting on the bed I sift through what I'm feeling. I'm going to see him, finally, he's alive, he survived, he's safe. He's a Victor. He's coming back, to 12, to his family, to his friends,... and what am I to him? The girl he once threw two loaves of bread to and got beaten for it, the girl that he never spoken to but came to thank him on Reaping Day... does that make me anything? The answer comes immediate and painful, No it doesn't make me anything but another curious 12 citizen eager to see him. The awareness hurts.

"Katniss, it's almost time. We have to go."

Prim is at our bedroom door looking at me.

"Yeah."

I get up as fast as I can, fighting for balance.

"You okay?"

"Yeah." I'm so not okay but it's my own doing. My feelings for Peeta crept up on me and I'm taken aback as I fully understand their true extent. I don't really know what to do but one thing I am sure of, I must keep on functioning, for Prim. "Let's go."

 

The Square is full, people are happy as I never saw them before. Town folks, Seam folks, all united in the same emotion even if they mostly keep apart in the Square. I'm from the Seam, Peeta's from town, the wedge I forgot existed is becoming clear yet again.

Up there near the screen there's Mr. Mellark and his family, some friends of Peeta I know from school, Mayor Undersee and his daughter Madge are close by as is an almost bursting with happiness Delly. Those are Peeta loved ones, they are the ones Peeta will be coming back to. My happiness is tainted with the knowledge.

"Hi, Catnip."

I take a deep breath and welcome Gale. A loud excited call for attention from Mrs Mellark echoes the Square as Caesar shows up on screen.

"She's happy." 

"She has have reason to be."

Joy burst up in an applause as Peeta joins Caesar. He looks elegant, smart, even for Capitol standards.

"Congratulations, Peeta."

"Surprise to see me back, Caesar?" Peeta smiles. I've missed his smile.

"To be honest, yes. Wonderful games this year."

Peeta smile waivers slightly.

"Let's see shall we."

They start to show the most important parts of the Games up on screen. Peeta's face on the down right corner for all Panem to monitor his reactions. At first he manages to keep a straight face.

As he watches the Pile crumbling down and District 3 tribute being caught up in the blast Peeta can't hide his shock.

"Your first kill."

Caesar's happy announcement of an important mark on Peeta's path to victory is tainted by the Peeta expression; he never knew the boy had died as a consequence of his actions. His head drops. Unable to see his eyes I can only imagine the pain in them. But Peeta can't avoid the cameras for long, as he looks up there are still remnants of pain, enough to confirm my suspicions.

The next kills don't surprise Peeta, he was there he knows what happen to Foxface and to Marvel. I can tell he's preparing himself for what is coming next. Rue. Even with all the effort put in hiding it we all can see Peeta's pain is renewed.

They show Rue singing when they were setting signals to tell each other they were okay and they don't stop there, they show more of their conversation.

"You like Mockingjays?" Peeta asks, as Rue is watching one jumping from tree to tree.

"They are survivor's. Like us." I've missed Rue's soft melodic voice.

Peeta nods.

"And they sing to me. Keep me company high up there." she points to the trees "Don't they sing in 12?"

"Always. I only saw them go quiet once."

"That's unusual."

"A girl was singing and they stopped to listen to her."

"Must be a special girl."

"She is."

"I would have like to know her." This simple statement of fact, like Rue knew it was just a matter of time, is crushing "Is she the girl you like back in 12?"

Peeta just smiled.

"Your Mockingjay?"

Now he laughs.

"You may call her that if you like. She is a survivor, that's for sure."

In the corner, Peeta's eyes are getting watery but he manages to keep it together. The Square is booming though with the exchange between Rue and Peeta. No one knows who the girl can be.

I too spend a few seconds looking around recalling every girl I know can sing, but none of them is that good. I only knew a man that made the mockingjays stop to listen as he sang, my father, and, besides being a man, he's long gone. Still maybe there is a girl like that in 12, singing isn't a part of my life for many years and music classes in school are for the smaller kids, so it would be hard for me to know.

"So that's the reason for the Mockingjay."

"What?"

"The medallion..."

"Forgot about that."

"Guess I was wrong yet again. I don't seem to get anything right with this guy."

I would smile if Rue death scene wasn't starting to unfold up there on the screen.

The singing scene got longer, but Rue's death is cut shorter ending with Peeta cradling her. Still, it's heart wrenching and Peeta is on the verge of tears when they jump to Thresh.

Peeta didn't knew Thresh much but he remembered Rue loved her District counterpart. I can see him going through the emotions even if soften by the knowledge he couldn't do anything for Thresh, it was more a Gamemaker kill than it was Cato and Clove's kill.

Peeta tenses up when we jump to the Finale. It's hard even for me to relive it all; the mutts, Clove's death, Peeta and Cato fight to the death, Peeta falling condemned to die by exsanguination. For the first time, he watches what happen to Cato. I see his soft smile, and I'm sure he thinks the same I do, in the end Cato died by Rue's "hands".

"And we got our Victor."

"Badly wounded victor."

"Yes. Now Peeta, who's the girl? All Panem want's to know that."

"Don't you think she should know first?"

"You could tell us we won't tell anyone."

Everyone one laughs, Peeta just smiles. A beautiful soft smile.

"You should make another show on that."

"What a nice idea. What do you think folks?"

It seems everyone agrees with a new show and Peeta, once again, managed to keep everyone in the dark on the subject, even us in 12. Around me everybody asks the same unanswered question, it seems that, like me, no one knows a girl that sings that well.

The Panem anthem first accords announce the arrival of President Snow. Respectfully everyone stands up in the Capitol, here we are already standing, no comfortable chairs or uncomfortable, for that matter, in our Square. The show with Caesar is over, time for Peeta to be crown. A simple and quick ceremony that ends as soon as the applause dies down.

As President Snow leaves so does Peeta, this time he's heading back home.

"Tomorrow you don't need to go to the woods."

"Why? I'm not tired. Are you tired?" I tease him. It was a long walk up to the Lake and back, he's not use to it anymore.

"No." he makes an upset face making me smile "Tomorrow we'll have plenty of food, it's the banquet remember? Peeta arrives, they bring food."

"Forgot about that." a day away from the woods? Lingering here thinking about what is far from my reach? Not a chance.

"You're still going aren't you?" he knows me too well.

"Wouldn't you?"

He doesn't need to answer, I already know.

"I wish I could live in the woods, Katniss. Away from here."

"What about the kids?"

"They would go too."

"They would hunt you all down, Gale."

"They wouldn't catches us."

He's including me in his plan. I can't leave. Even if he was right and hey don't catch us, I can't leave. 

"Maybe not."

"Would you go with me?"

Why is he bringing this up now? We are doing fine here in 12, we have a new Victor, we will have food delivered to us every month because of it.

"I can't Gale."

"Why not?"

Peeta...

"Prim."

"We would take her with us."

"Prim? In the woods?"

We both look at my sister, who is smiling happy, giggling with her friends.

"No. You're right. Prim wouldn't like it."


	23. Home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peeta is back in 12. After all the hardships Katniss just wants him to be well and happy. She watches from afar, unable to move closer, finds him to look well and it's like all the stress all the worry she has been felling is released from her, like a dam as broken inside. Taking refuge by the Meadow, Katniss finds a new and unexpected home.  
> Later Haymitch warns Katniss that Peeta is still not safe and asks her to help him save Peeta from the Capitol. But what he requests is impossible for her to concede.

From afar I watch the train approaching slowly the packed platform. It's almost like all District 12 is there waiting for Peeta; it's not, the workers weren't released from the mines, but still I can't manage to get any closer.

The crowd is excited, and getting restless with the slow moving of the train. In silence I only hear the drumming of my heartbeat that echoes in my ears; he's here, Peeta's here in 12, it's just a matter of minutes and I will see him. The minutes feel like hours though.

As the train stops the doors open, cameras get off it forcing the crowd to give them the room they need. And then there's Peeta, he's happy no doubt about that, I just make out his face for a few seconds as he's engulfed by the crowd, his family and I'm guessing his friends. I manage to spot Mr Mellark over the sea of heads that fills the space between us, he allows me to follow Peeta position.

Even though District 12 is a small District, a car is waiting for the Victor and his team, to bring them to the Justice Building, I walk to the Square, at least I think I walk as sometimes I don't even know if I'm walking or being dragged by the excited crowd that is moving in a fast pace. I manage to reach my usual place, this time I will be able to see him all.

A smiling Peeta gets out the Justice Building door waving, his family follows suite. First his father and siblings then an exuberant Mrs Mellark that must be stopped by order of a Capitol attendant before following Peeta to the chairs ment for Authorities. Around me people laugh at her confusion and anger from being stopped, it takes Mr Mellark arm gently setting on hers to calm her down.

Mrs. Mellark is a puzzle to me, before the Games the only memory I had was watching her beat up Peeta for burning the bread that saved my life, now here she stood behaving like Peeta is her most beloved child; I can't reconcile the two images.

Peeta watches the crowd waiting for Mayor Undersee to welcome him back. He spots me faster than I would expect and he smiles at me, I know it is for me for his eyes catch mine and I can't look away. I don't know how long we stay that way, time just seems to have stopped. Until something makes him break this invisible connection, Haymitch. Haymitch is saying something to him, and Peeta doesn't come back to me, in fact he seems to avoid looking back to this side of the Square.

"Ladies and gentleman it has been 24 years since we last welcomed a Victor to his home. It was a long wait that it's finally over. I welcome our new Victor, Peeta Mellark, back to District 12."

As Peeta gets up and takes the stand, everyone cheers, he has to wait for it to die down. I take the opportunity to watch him, checking for any signs of injury; he's okay, at least he looks that way, the leg where he was wounded doesn't fail him, no scars are visible. The wave of relief fills me so hard so fast it overcomes me. I feel the tears coming up without reason; nothing is wrong, everything is just right, Peeta's a victor, he's back safe, like I always believed he would.

I hear him thanking everyone for their support and for having him back. I hear the laugh that echoes the Square but I can't see, my vision is blurred with tears. As I stumble out of the Square, I keep hearing him talking, inviting people to the Banquet, a burst of applause marking the end of his speech. Out of the Square at last I can hardly see where I'm going, somehow I find myself sitting on the fallen log by the Meadow.

Tears flow unstoppable even with my reasoning that I'm turning into a silly girl that cries for nothing, a poor attempt to make myself snap out of this overly emotional state. But I'm not being silly or crying for nothing, I've been bottling up all these tears since the day Peeta left, like a broken dam, they finally got out.

"Katniss?"

What's he doing here? He can't be here. He sees the tears running down my face, there's not much he can do to stop them so he just holds me. And I'm home. 

"I saw you leave, I was worried."

He followed me here. The flow of tears now falls on his collar, I can't stop, even with him in my arms safe, I can't stop.

"Shh it's okay. I'm here."

But he shouldn't be.

"Haymitch is covering for me. Shh it's okay. I'm back."

Peeta holds me until I'm empty, out of tears. 

The sound of the people in town is getting louder. More than ever I hold him close.

"I must go back. Haymitch can't cover for me forever."

He pulls me closer.

"I'm at the Capitol's bidding until tonight. Then I'm free... for a while at least."

I look up into his eyes, they're calm and happy, as I've never seen them.

"Your back safe, that's what matters."

A shadow crosses his eyes, he hides it by pulling his lips to my forehead.

"I'm here, with you."

I feel his arms loosen around me.

“No… don't go.” 

Peeta smiles to me like he did on Reaping Day and I find myself fighting an unknown urge to kiss him. 

“I'll be back. Not letting you go, Katniss, not anymore. Will you be at the banquet?” 

“Yes.” 

“I'll see you there then. And tomorrow? At dawn? Here?” 

I nod agreeing. His lips hesitate a beat over mine before I feel them on my forehead one more time.

As my eyes follow him until he reaches the path to the Square I can't but wonder why didn't he kiss me and why I wish he had. 

 

The Square is unrecognizable. Long tables have been set up, servants are everywhere with food I have never seen or even dreamed of. Small kids from 12 are watching closely all the food, and I smile, as one small finger tries to reach some elaborate cake and a slightly bigger hand pulls it back. 

“No pitcher around… guess I'm safe.” 

He managed to creep up on me, I think I'm losing faculties, until I recall he's not at his usual drunken level, yet.

“Haymitch. I wouldn't give you a bath here, there are children present, your vocabulary is not suited for their ears.” 

“They have to learn someday.” 

"Not today. Today is a day to rejoice and be merry. Besides you made good on your promise.  Peeta is back safe.” 

His silence serves as warning and I look back at him. This is not the drunk Haymitch or the mocking one that now faces me. He's concerned and worried about something. 

“That's what I have to talk to you about. Katniss, they are angry with Peeta because of the stunt he pulled over Rue. He's still in danger and they will use everyone he loves to get to him, to punish him. They can't know how important you are to Peeta.” 

"You are over estimating Peeta's feelings for me, Haymitch." 

"He..." he starts softly just to stop himself, his tone turning an almost scream "Can you just listen to me? He's not out of the woods yet." 

I don't understand any thing of what he's saying.

"But his back, he's a Victor." a Victor gets to live a happy free life, with all the comfort, food and money the Capitol can provide.

"What do you know about the life of Victor's? Victor's are forever under the Capitol's whim, Katniss. I am, Peeta is. And they took his mourning for Rue, his respect for her, his love for her, like... like a rebellion of sorts. You must understand, they want the tributes to die gruesomely and pick up like animals, without soul; that's what all tributes deliver every year, except this year. Peeta turned Rue's death emotional, Rue is now, not a tribute, but a child, a child that was loved, a child that died too early. Peeta made everyone in Panem relate to Rue, feel her death like she was someone they know, someone they love, when that happens people start to think of the why she died and then..."

"...they found she was murdered, because of the Capitol rules and will."

Haymitch looks around but we are alone out in the open.

"Yes." he whispers "there's rumours District 11 rebelled immediately, rumors that others may follow. Even in the Capitol many have kids Rue's age and they are starting to think. Thinking is dangerous for President Snow. Katniss, you asked me to save Peeta, now I need your help to do just that."

For a moment I recall Gale's plan, wish I could take Peeta to the woods, I could help him so much better there. Here I feel useless, I know nothing about the Capitol, I've lived my life under their radar, too unimportant for them to even care to look.

“What can I do.” 

“I would ask you to keep away from him...” 

No chance of that happening. My look must be enough for I see Haymitch looking away.

"I thought as much. Then protect yourself."

What does he mean?

"Don't let them know he... cares for you."

"That's hardly in my hands but I will do what I can."

A movement to our side makes us turn silent. The bakery is just to the side of us, we both watch as Mr Mellark walks out and closes the door.

"What about his family? Aren't they in danger?"

“No way to hide them. Peeta has a plan that I think can work." We both waive to Peeta's father as he exits the Square.

Then I have Haymitch full attention once again.

"For you he doesn't, and that's what worries me.” 

Before I can answer him all District 12 invades the Square, starving and marveled as I was with the food around them. Peeta is in their midst but he doesn't look at the food he looks at me and Haymitch, his stance serious and a bit aggressive towards Haymitch, he's not happy. 

“Well there goes my hope to keep this talk between us.” 

Peeta knows the Capitol is not happy with him, he knows Haymitch just asked me to keep away, for his safety as well as mine. What he seems not to know yet is I can't keep away, not from him, not anymore.  


	24. Banquet

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's time for the Banquet in 12. The big Capitol served meal is a wonder never seen before by Katniss and Gale and both their families.  
> Loving the lamb stew with plums Katniss doesn't seem to be able to stop eating it.

 

I join my mother and Prim as they sit in one of the middle tables. Gale sits by my side with his family. I don't know how but I feel Peeta's eyes trained on me. A glimpse confirms my suspicions. 

Peeta sits between Haymitch and Effie Trincket in front of the Justice Building, over  viewing the square nothing escapes his notice, as the fact he's still upset doesn't escape mine. A questioning look is my silent reply, I watch him sigh avoiding my eyes. Haymitch has his full attention now, it's Haymitch turn not to be happy. 

"Katniss, look at this soup. It's pink." Prim is amazed with the soup just set in front of her.

A cream of bright pink. Soup shouldn't be pink. 

"It's tasty too." to Posy the fact it's pink, her favorite color, is already enough for her to love it so I taste just a bit expecting it to taste fowl but it doesn't.

I take a another spoon, this time full. I would eat another plate full of it if it weren't for the servants taking our dishes away. 

"District 12 new victor, Peeta Mellark, is back safe and sound. And we get to eat all of this, and food every month for a year." Hazelle is happy; for a year she will struggle a bit less and all thanks to Peeta.

"Yes. We all have reason to be happy." 

"Except maybe for the Victor himself." Gale cuts me short "He doesn't look that happy to me, Catnip." 

"With a mother like that I don't find it that surprising." Rory is watching Mrs Mellark as she gets up an goes to Peeta stopping him from eating by embracing him and kissing his face getting it all wet. 

Since the start of the banquet Peeta's mother was all but inconspicuous. She's making servants give her special treatment and often walking to Peeta giving him watery kisses that don't quite convince anyone in 12. 

"It's his mother. The only one he's got. He has to take it." 

It's too late when I recall how close to home my words fall. It doesn't take my mother's pale white face for me to understand I shouldn't have said it. But I can't take it back and in truth my words are accurate. 

Gale's spoon hesitates a bit midair but that is about it for his reaction. We have talked enough about mothers for him to know this is another subject we will forever disagree. He loves and respects Hazelle, he has reason to, my mother... she's not like Hazelle, even if, I have to recognize it, she has been getting better, but it's already too late, if it was for her neither of the three of us would be alive.

"I like her hat."

The dark blue monstrosity was a bit sparkly, and that was probably why Posy liked it. I didn't share Posy opinion as it made me remember the color of Peeta's eye the day after he had given me the bread, and I knew it was her, I saw her do it.

"She's happy, her son is back safe. She's just showing it." Prim always the nice one.

Trays with some stew with plums were set in front of us. It looked tasty and smelled divine.

"Easy... it's not going away."

"It's wonderful. I want to eat at least one more plate."

"I will give you some of mine if they take the tray, now go easy."

But it was too tasty and I was hungry even with the soup.

"Leave some space for desert, Katniss."

"Desert?" I repeat the word tasting every syllable. It was so rare to have desert, and even when we did it was usually a basic and simple cake; eggs, four, some sugar; I forgot people in the Capitol eat desert everyday. 

I stop looking around searching for that rare dish when I spot Peeta smiling at me. He really is almost laughing about the way I'm enjoying the stew, I make what I think is and upset face but it only makes things worse, now he's bursting out laughing and both Haymitch and Effie are looking at him like he's gone nuts. Effie must consider Peeta's behavior to be unworthy of a Victor for her upset expression is much more effective than mine. It's my turn to smile.

Desert arrives with a burst of Ohs and Ahs, I just gape at the elaborate construction of chocolate, cake and exotic fruit. Glad someone else started to cut it, I wouldn't know where to start.

"Aren't you eating?"

"It's beautiful. I'm not even sure what it is."

Vick soft voice, his lips dark with chocolate, states, matter of factually, that its delicious. "If you don't want it can I have it?"

His request makes me stop, an immediate reaction to a friend who needs food. It takes Gale's intervention to remind me there's enough for Vick to have seconds and even thirds, there's no need for me to give Vick my own desert.

"There's enough for you to eat until you are full, Vick. You don't need to eat Katniss's."

Vick looks at the remaining desert on the tray and smiles.

"Vick, use the napkin." Hazelle urges Vick to clean is mouth, effectively ending the conversation, as Vick follows her instructions and goes back to eat desert as I do. The chocolate is even rarer than cake and this one is creamy and deliciously melts in your mouth.

"I can't even imagine eating like this everyday."

"You wouldn't have to fight to survive, everyday."

"Then what would I do?" this wasn't a new question for me. The thought occurred from time to time; how would my life be if I wasn't the main bread winner at home. I usually didn't give it much thought as the only way that was possible was for me to be a Victor and I wanted to be as far from the Games as possible.

"Be happy." the eternal simple answer uttered by Gale.

"I am happy."

Gale doesn't insist but I know he doesn't agree, but I am, today I am, Peeta he's right there; nothing, no one is going to take him away and he's going to meet me at dawn.

I look back at Peeta and am happy to see he's not upset anymore. He's conversing with Effie, laughing at her shocked face, Haymitch laughing as well. Effie looks puzzled around at all the tables like she can't believe it.

I can't understand what they are talking about but seeing Peeta smile again makes my heart swell and I fell the calm returning to me at last.

The banquet was finally over, the tables cleared with all the efficiency of Capitol attendants desperate to go home could master. Mayor Undersee thanks everyone and bids goodnight.

With Mrs Mellark final kiss and hug Peeta leaves with Haymitch, follow by the cameras, one last glimpse between us is all I have take home with me.

The Square empty's, I follow Prim and my mother home already wishing for dawn.

 

 


	25. Dawn meeting

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peeta and Katniss meet at dawn and talk about how to protect each other while keeping together.

Night wasn't filled with nightmares but it wasn't filled with sleep neither as I found my eyes watching the night sky through the window, waiting, conjuring for the first signs of approaching dawn. But time wasn't something that could be rushed, the first signs of dawn came the time they did everyday and found me already walking to the trees by the Meadow. It's still dark but I can see enough to know where I'm going.

Between the trees it's darker. I feel his presence more than I can see his figure sitting in the fallen tree, my favourite spot. My heart skips a beat; has Peeta been here all night? Waiting for dawn? Waiting for me?

I stand there for a moment just looking at him as my eyes become accustomed to the dark. He hasn't noticed me yet making me wonder if he's asleep but he's not his eyes are trained in some spot in town, as a window lights up I know what he's watching. Mr Mellark must be starting the hoven. I take a step closer and watch his lips form a smile.

"You came."

I can hear the relief in his words as he pulls me to him holding me in his arms.

"I was worried."

"Because of Haymitch?"

"He shouldn't have mettle."

"Depends. Would you tell me yourself that you are still in danger?"

He stops for a beat, pondering. 

"No."

I was expecting a lie, I feel a strange wave of relief when he doesn't. It all feels right somehow, and I know we will make it.

"Thank you."

"For?"

"Telling me the truth."

I hear a sigh, feeling his breath caressing my hair.

"I would never lie to you."

"But you would hidde."

"I will protect you, Katniss, always. Don't ask me not to."

"And hiding the fact you are still in danger was your way to protect me?"

I pull off his embrace to look into his eyes.

"A ill one maybe, but... yes."

"I made a promise when you were... out there. I promised to myself you were dealing with the Games alone but that would never happen again, I would be there for you, when and how you needed me to be. I intend to keep that promise."

"Even if that means doing what Haymitch wants?"

I feel the air sucked out of my lungs. Not be with Peeta...

"No. Definitely not. Unless... you want to." even the thought hurts.

"Katniss..."

I feel his lips on mine. I've never been kissed like this before, my body reacts where my mind has lost all reasoning. It's sweet, but it ignites some hunger inside me I never knew existed and I don't want it to stop but it does... too soon.

"... never..."

I want him to kiss me again but I find my head resting over his heart as he kisses my forehead. His heart beating steady brings me back to the quiet calm state I lost so many years ago.

"...I will never again let you go."

We sit there watching the dark smoke from the bakery becoming increasingly noticeable as daylight grows stronger.

"Still we have to think of something. I don't want them... after you, Katniss."

That doesn't worry me as much as it does that they are still after him. But he's right as he was about the need to destroy the pile in the Arena. I look back to the woods, we could escape couldn't we? Then I remember Prim and all my plan falls apart.

"Haymitch is more than anything concerned about keeping them ignorant that you... care for me."

"Not knowing I love you. You can say it, I have. It's the truth, Katniss. I love you, always did since the first time I saw you at school. Singing. Rue called you my Mockingjay."

It was me? I would never thought it was. I don't sing anymore, not since my father died.

I look up at him with a smile and find one exactly like mine dancing on Peeta's lips. It lasts just for a flint moment, the time for me to process his words. Can Peeta have talked about me to Rue, can they know already who I am? I wouldn't put it past the Gamemakers to keep that card hidden until they could take advantage from it. A cold shiver runs through me.

"Katniss what's wrong?"

"Can they know who I am already?"

"No, not _who_ you are. I was careful about that."

I feel my body relax and the smile returning. 

"You were clever."

"Not really I just didn't know if you..."

If I would like it. The thought makes want to laugh. Then I recall all the pain I was in that day at the Square, listening to Delly and Madge interview up there on the screen, all pointless.

"What?"

"Past sorrows, all pointless now."

The sound of a mother calling for her sons to get up, it's getting late.

"I have to go." but I don't want to, I would rather stay here in Peeta's arms listening to his heartbeat forever.

"To the woods?"

"Yes."

"You love it there don't you?"

"Yes. I feel free there, no worries, about food, about safety."

"These trees are the closest I want to be to woods. At least for now."

I look into his eyes to find pain. He's not here, he's there, back at the Arena. His eyes lost in something I can't see, his muscles strained and I feel a panic wave creeping up on me, I must get him back, back to me.

"Peeta... I'm here." my hands on both sides of his face forcing him to focus on me "You're here with me in 12." I feel the straining loosen up slightly.

As the smile reaches his eyes I know he's back with me, away from the Arena, from the horror.

"Yes." he kisses me again so softly it's not more than butterfly wings in my lips and in my stomach.

The woman's voice travels to us once more. I pull him into my arms, his smell comforting me as the Sun threatens to break though the horizon.

"We must go. The Sun will be out in a few, Katniss."

"I know but I don't want to."

"Neither do I. I want to see you, be with you, Katniss, everyday. But I also want you safe, and I prepared to sacrifice myself to keep you that way."

"Following Haymitch advice?"

The searing pain I feel must echo Peeta's as he holds me even tighter. He wants it as much as I do.

The thought comes to me like lighting.

"Peeta what if we just keep meeting here..."

"... keep us out of curious eyes? Behave like we did before the rest of the time?"

I nod.

"Don't know, Katniss. Don't know if I can look at you out there and behave like you mean nothing to me. You mean everything, Katniss, everything. I'm alive because of you."

Treating him like a stranger... I too have doubts I can pull it off but what other choice do we have? Not be with him, ever, is totally out of the question.

"Katniss I'll think of something else but... for now. I can't think of any other way."

His lips lock in mine once more, this time demanding, almost desperate, I open my lips and his taste hits me full strength and I forget everything else, only Peeta exists in this moment and something inside I can't name but threatens to tear me apart. Again Peeta stops too soon, it's always too soon. I take a breath, as the air painfully fills my lungs I realize I've stopped breathing. I would have happily drown in Peeta but he would never allow it.

"Tomorrow?"

I nod, my lungs still busy in working enough oxygen into me.

I watch him walk to the bakery as I work on collecting myself enough to go in the opposite direction, under the fence, into the woods.


	26. The Medalion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peeta is curious on why his friends keep mentioning Delly and asks Katniss. While she tells him about all Panem being curious about the girl he loved and the picture inside the medallion, Peeta opens up his heart and shows the medallion to her. What Katniss sees brings tears to her eyes.

Dawn was but a far dim light to the East as I sat at the tree, our tree. Dark night still enveloped the world but night creatures were already running for home, for safety, protecting themselves from day as we humans protect ourselves from night.

I hear his footsteps. He's not as light as I thought or maybe he was more careful in the Arena than he needs to be here. His lips search mine as soon as I feel his tender embrace. I've missed this, I've missed him.

We remain wordless. Yesterday wasn't a good day, not to him, he moved out of his parents house taking all that was his. By the comments I've picked up at the Hob people were taking it like Peeta consider himself superior; I knew better, he was protecting his family or at least trying to, the best way he could. Hearing all the comments, all the ill words, about Peeta was hard, not to be able to stand up for him, to hear everything and keep silent; even harder was not to run for him when I knew he needed me.

"I'm sorry."

"What's sad is I don't even know if it's going to work or not."

But he had to try, I understood that, I would do the same. Leave Prim; the thought breaks my heart and I pull him closer. With a sigh Peeta rests his head on my shoulder, his lips softly touching my neck.

The silent moment before dawn breaks turning the sky soft pink, remains unbroken until the birds start chirping and singing filling the world with music before man fills it with noise.

"Katniss... can I ask you something?"

I loosen the embrace and look into his eyes at his serious tone.

"Anything."

"It's about Delly."

Delly? What about Delly? Did she...

"What happen?"

"With Delly? Nothing really but... it's like I'm missing something. My friends are making innuendos I don't get and jokes I don't understand the only thing I do get is it's something that involves Delly."

Of course he doesn't know what happen on the interviews with his family and friends.

"When you were eight in... there, people came from the Capitol."

"Family and friends interviews..." Peeta's eyes were looking far away, to something behind me I knew wasn't there, only to turn back in a frenzy of panic "They didn't talk to you did they?"

I can't help but smile. In the state I was in back then I would have run off or they would, once they met me.

"Not your friend." my smile hardens making him smile back.

"No you're not." this time I'm ready for our kiss and I make it last longer, tasting Peeta, feeling his breathing turning uneven until he's out of breath and, like he did the day before, I allow both of us to breath "You are so much more."

"To them I'm much less."

"Let's keep it that way."

A soft gentle kiss feels like lightning through my heart.

"Other than my family they interviewed Delly?" 

I nod "And Marge."

"Why?" 

Peeta seems genuinely surprised.

"Well, Haymitch had just sent you the medallion. Most people thought it contained a picture of the girl you loved and all Panem wanted to know who she was. They figured it was one of the two of them."

As I talk he takes the medallion from his neck spinning it on his hand.

"They couldn't be more wrong."

"I know that... now."

"They are my friends. Well... maybe they are right."

"What?" He must be joking but he's still on the medallion so I can't tell.

"They are girls and I always thought of them as friends."

"That's not..."

"What they meant. I know."

Peeta opens the medallion and smiles to what rests inside.

"They didn't know anything about you, Katniss, they would never get to you, Haymitch made sure of that, even the medallion wouldn't help them."

He drops it on my hand. What I see inside brings tears to my eyes. I can't stop looking as my fingers caress the engraving inside.

"You saved me, Katniss, just like I saved you... once."

A simple engraving of two loaves of bread, meaningless to anyone but me and Peeta.

"The day of the Reaping Haymitch came at me on the train. He was pissed, you spilled some water on him. He wanted to know why. I couldn't tell him what I didn't know but I told him what I did know... that I loved you since the first moment I saw you, many years ago, in class, singing. Since then you were in my thoughts, always, I wanted to protect you, to hold, but I couldn't even come up to you and speak..."

An awkward giggle

"Sounds so ridiculous; Peeta Mellark, the guy that talks to everyone; but near you words didn't came, my mind struggle to conjure them up just to come up empty. I told Haymitch that, one night, after your father died, I saw you, near the back door of the bakery, pale and hungry. The urge I felt to protect you, the unbearable pain I felt from imagining a World where you didn't exist, how I burned two loaves of bread, only to give them to you."

"You saved mine and Prim's life, that night, Peeta. I never forgot it. Unlike you I didn't and don't find it easy to talk to anyone, I tried to thank you but I couldn't come up with the words, I couldn't even walk up to you, I didn't know how."

"But you did. That day, Reaping Day, a day of darkness, of pain, of sadness, but there I was, on the train, with just one moment in mind, one ray of sunshine on a pitch dark sky. When I saw that medallion I knew what Haymitch wanted me to remember. It took being out of the Arena to know why it wasn't a picture."

"Doubt he has one of me." don't think even my mother has one except from when I was a child.

"That wouldn't stop him. Protecting us did. He knew the Capitol would target you to get to me if needed, like they did with his family."

"Haymitch has a family?"

"No..." the word lingers. Peeta waits as I connect all the threads the Capitol weaves around Victors.

I know I'm pale when Peeta nods confirming my suspicions. I now see Haymitch in a new light, he's no longer just a drunk but a victim, even more so than us. 

The Capitol killed Haymitch family, now he wants to protect Peeta's family and loved ones to the best of his ability. With the medallion he had been surprisingly cuny and smart. Anyone who would see the engraving would find it useless, pointless, it held no clue for anyone to know who I was.

"Then, thanks to Haymitch, no one knew who was the girl. Not even in the Capitol?"

"No. Didn't you know or at least have a clue?"

"No, not even a clue. That's why when Delly uttered a nervous "No" everyone believed she was lying, even me."

"Wait, the Capitol thinks Delly is the girl I love?"

"I guess..."

He worries and I'm puzzled until it dawns on me.

"Think she's in danger?"

"Maybe, Katniss. Definitely she's someone else for me to be concerned about but in her case I don't think it's hard to keep away."

I take the medallion putting it back over his heart, resting my head over the same exact spot. Everything is going to be alright, here in his arms as 12 begins to wake up I'm sure, together, we will find a way.


	27. Capitol's Web

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Katniss understands how entangled she is on the Capitol's web.

My days, once a sequence of snare lines and hunting, turn to a sequence of dawns, only they bare meaning, only for them I long.

“I have to go.”

“It’s still early. School only starts in two hours. We have time.”

“I have to be home before my mother wakes up, Peeta. I’ve always walked Prim to School, even when I went to the woods before I always got back in time to walk Prim to School.”

“Still, you can stay with me a bit longer.”

My head's resting over his heart and I wish I could stay here in his arms, just watching the day go by.

“My mother will find it odd if I arrive empty handed.”

But I hold him tighter, enjoying his heat, his smell… missing him already.

I hear is disappointed sigh.

“You’re right. You have to go.”

But I can’t move; I don’t want to go.

“Sometimes I hate Haymitch.”

I know Peeta’s smiling.

“You are better than me then, I just hate him every time I think about us. But then I remember he means to protect you and I just can’t hate him anymore.”

A light in town… people are waking up.

“You should go, Katniss.”

We kiss, a kiss that has to last for a day, a long deep kiss that reaches down into my soul.

“I love you, Peeta Mellark.”

His eyes shine shadowing the light down below, and he pulls me to another kiss. After all our kisses this one feels different somehow, like Peeta is grasping my soul by offering his own.

“I love you too, Katniss Everdeen.”

Peeta kisses me again this time a light gentle kiss.

“Now go. I see you tomorrow.”

I leave him there, walking home in a daze. The house is still quiet, only Buttercup is up and about. As I prepare the tea the light sound of my mother footsteps reaches me.

“Katniss. Good morning.”

“Morning, Mom.”

“Is Prim ready?”

“I’ll check.”

I enter the bedroom to find Prim dressed and ready for School.

“Morning, Prim.”

“Katniss. You look well.”

“I feel well.”

We both smile.

“Ready for School?”

“Yes.”

“Let’s go then.”

School starts. It’s almost my last year, teachers know me pretty well by now; I get the grades and keep to myself. They really don’t care about my lack of social skills anymore; by now they only want us to know enough to ensure a high production in the mines. It’s clear I will never enter the bowels of the Earth; my task, whatever the Capitol determines it to be, is going to be above ground and neither one of my teachers has any idea of what could it be, so they just leave me to my own devices; provided I get the results they need.

And so School is just an obligation, nothing useful is being conveyed to me anymore but I’m here, compliant to Capitol rules which didn’t bother me much before but now, after all that happen to Peeta, I can see the web we are all caught up in, like flies caught to provide food to the fat spider that is the Capitol. I try to avoid the thought as I pay attention to the teacher. Thinking like this won’t get me anywhere.

“Katniss, would you mind if Rory takes me home?”

I give Rory, Gale’s brother, a warning look. By the looks of it he understands it fully.

“Straight home, Prim.”

“Through the Square? Please? Peeta is back maybe there’s a cake.”

Peeta…

“Okay.”

I watch them happily walking to the Square. There was no use denying her the stroll through the Square with Rory. Prim won't find any cakes waiting for her to admire; Peeta has been away from the bakery since he arrived, he occupies himself building his own oven near the house at Victor’s Village.

 

The woods welcome me as they always do but everything looks different in the afternoon light, I walk the strange but familiar path and manage to get a good enough haul.

At the Hob there's not only Greasy Sae waiting for me, Gale has already left the mines and sits there at her stall. I hand him the all haul.

“Nice, very nice. All this in an afternoon?”

“Preys aren’t use to be hunted at this time of day.”

He just laughs.

“How was the first day of School?” Greasy Sae asks trying to stop herself from laughing.

“Like all School days.”

“Just two years longer.”

Two years. Two years hiding, two years pretending, I can’t…

I feel Gale's hand over mine.

“Hey, it’s just School.”

No it isn’t. It isn’t just School it's much more than that.

"Yeah, just School..."

I eat the soup Greasy Sae just put in front of me not fooling anyone with my answer.

 

Outside night is starting to fall, the cold breeze is welcomed against my face. Soon it will be another dawn, soon I'll be back with Peeta, soon I may share my fears with him and he will make it all seem alright.

“Katniss are you alright?”

Gale startles me; for a moment I forgot where I was, with whom I was. With Gale I can talk, even if only partially, he understands.

“Yes. Two more years Gale. Two more years to be free.”

“Free?”

I turn back as he stopped looking at me.

“We are never free, Katniss. Look at me. I’m not free; if anything I’m even more a prisoner.”

I look around, no one is in hearing range but still I worry.

“Don’t talk like that, not here.”

Gale lowers his voice.

“You must understand, Katniss. Our life is theirs to do as they please. It will always be theirs. That’s why I thought about going away, that would be the only way for us to be free.”

“We won’t, they would come for us.”

“Maybe, maybe not. What are we to them?”

Us nothing, Peeta everything and I couldn’t leave without him. I was trapped in the Capitol’s Web, no way to escape it.

 

That night was sleepless. My mind fighting to find a way out for me and Peeta but always ending up on either Gale or Haymitch words.

"What's wrong?"

"Are we ever going to be able to live a normal life?"

"You mean get married? Have kids?"

"No. Not that."

"You don't want to?"

"Have kids to end up in the Arena?"

He stays silent, considering.

"That may never happen, Katniss."

"Can you imagine seeing your kid going through that?"

"No. But I can't imagine not having kids neither. I want to have them, Katniss, with you." He pulls me to his embrace. "They will have all the love."

I don't seem to be able to calm down. How did we end up discussing kids? We can't even have a normal relationship.

"How long must we keep hiding, Peeta? Do you know? How long must you keep away from your parents, hurting them and yourself, in the process?"

"I'll tell you what I know. In four months I must make the Tour, I'll have to abide Capitol rulings and work to calm the crowds. From then on I'm requested to attend every Game, in the Capitol, once a year, that is all."

He makes it sound like it's easy, but I notice the tension building inside him.

"So it's true, we will never be free."

"Free? No. Katniss, they have me, for good."

I kiss him gently, softly, enticing him to join me, when he does I taste the sadness and it tears me apart.

"They have us all, Peeta."

"Not you."

"Yes, me. All of us. Gale's right the only solution is run away, escape."

"He asked you to run? With him?"

"In a matter of speaking. But I can't run. Not with him."

"You would run with me?"

"Yes."

"I would take you up on that but they would hunt us down, Katniss. I'm a Victor, their clutches are even tighter around me."

"There's no hope?"

I feel his arms tighten around me.

"As long as we are together there's always hope."


	28. The Tour

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Tour of the 74th Hunger Games Victor begins. Peeta as to face Rue's memory on his own and the task is as difficult has both him and Katniss anticipated it would be. The consequences follow suite.

Peeta was unable to make our future look brighter. I was sure he was hiding things from me, things he wanted to protect me from, things he himself wasn't sure of, has I understood, after one last conversation on the subject.

"What did Haymitch tell you?"

"About?"

"What does he know? What does he think the Capitol people are going to ask of you?"

He tried to hide the shadow that crossed his eyes, if I wasn't already expecting it I mite have missed it on the dim light under the trees.

"A lot of things, Katniss, none of them good."

"What things?"

"He's not sure. Of anything. We are both guessing they are going to demand I appease the Districts, specially 11."

"Rue's?"

"Yeah. But I don't know, Katniss. I don't know what will happen, I don't know what I'm going to be able to do or stop myself from doing."

"Your smart, Peeta. The smartest I know when it comes to crowds."

A smile, so faint it doesn't convey nothing but sadness.

"That's not really what I worry about. It's Rue, Katniss, I can't hide what she was, what she meant to me. It's Rue."

And I understood what he meant, I felt the same. Little Rue was a treasure; there was no way any of us could hide what she meant, what she was. To her Peeta owed his life, to her I owed Peeta's life.

 

Being reminded Peeta was leaving, once again, in four months, didn't make time go by any faster. Still the dawns turned to days and the days to months. I kept my sanity by not counting the days but I was acutely aware the dreaded dawn would arrive. When it did it was like the day wanted to protect us, give us a bit more time; it came clouded, I could hardly see the tree in front of us as Peeta warmth kept the cold away.

"What time are you leaving?"

"They arrive at noon. I must be home by then."

"I wish we could stay here."

"It's not much of a hiding place, Katniss. Someone is bound to find us here if we stay."

"Sometimes I just think why not, let them. I can handle anything they send my way, Peeta."

"You don't know them, Katniss. They would find your weakness and exploit it."

"You are my weakness, Peeta." I pause recalling another one that is still sleeping unaware of any danger "And Prim."

"They would hurt Prim to get to you. President Snow doesn't stop at nothing Katniss, not even killing innocent children."

As he proves every year by supporting the Hunger Games, Peeta doesn't say it but I know he's thinking it, like I am.

I feel his soft kiss and his even breath, my Home; as I am his.

"Katniss, what ever happens you must stay safe, protect yourself, always. I wouldn't bare you getting hurt."

His words are riddled with a strange kind of panic, enough for me to get alarmed.

 "What's going to happen, Peeta? Is there something you are not telling me?"

"I thought about what you said, that we are all prisoners not free to live our lives; you are right, we are, all of us. Our lives are theirs. And I don't trust them, Katniss, not with something that precious."

"Neither do I. Still, they have no reason to do anything to me."

This seems to calm him a bit.

"No, They don't. Still... Promise me."

He needed the reassurance of my promise. Promises were something I didn't took lightly, I never promised anything I wasn't able to pull trough successfully, as it was I had no reason not to acquiesce Peeta's request, I fully intended to keep myself safe it was the only way to keep him safe.

"I promise."

I kiss him reassuringly.

"I don't know how I'm going to bare not having you with me for 12 days."

I caress the medallion on his chest.

"But you do. You will always have me with you."

"Not the same..." I feel his arms tighten around me "Not remotely the same."

 

The first day of the Tour, Peeta will spend on the train. Tomorrow he'll be on 11, from there he will go through all Districts and finished back at 12 after a stop at the Capitol.

Following every step of the Tour was Mandatory Viewing and, as Peeta walked out the door of a decrepit copy of our Justice Building, already in 11, my heart ached for him. The Square, also a copy of the one I was standing in, had a gigantic picture of Rue, behind her family, and I saw the struggle to keep tears from running down his face that Peeta was concealing.

As the Mayor presented the 74th Hunger Games Victor Peeta couldn't stop looking at Rue's family and her picture. Looking at the other side of the Square wasn't easier, there waited an old woman in tears, Thresh grandmother, and an equally big picture of her grandson. It was a deeply sadden Peeta that walked up to the microphone.

"It's a honor to be received in District 11. I thank all of it's people. I especially want to honor District 11 tributes to the 74th Hunger Games. I hardly knew Thresh but he loved and cared for Rue and that is enough for me to appreciate him as a person with a good heart and a wonderful soul; I wish I had known him, I'm sure we would be friends; I was sad to see his picture up in the sky. But Rue, Rue was much more than an ally, she was the sister I never had. Her beautiful voice, echoed by the Mockingjays, filled the Arena and my heart with light when I was in the most dark of nights. She was young but showed the maturity, the cleverness, the spirit, the heart and the soul many adults only dream of having."

I'm almost in tears as is Prim right by my side. The screen shows the crowd in 11, as emotional as we are, someone whistles Rue's song and does 12's salute, the one Peeta showed Rue in the Arena, the gesture, is repeated around the Square in 11. As the Peacekeepers start beating up people I understand what Haymitch and Peeta were afraid. By not doing anything but honor his dear friend Peeta had fuel up the rebellion on 11.

In 12, the screen goes pitch black. People around me don't understand what is happening, for them the gesture bares no other meaning but to honor and say goodbye to a fallen friend or family member; by the reaction of Peacekeepers now I know that trough all Panem it has a much more dangerous meaning as does Rue's beautiful song.

"Katniss..."

Like all of us Prim never got to see what was happening in 11, but like us she can guess. I can't think of anyone else but Peeta. What will they do to him?

 

The next day I have my first clue. As I reenter 12, crossing the fence I notice the smoke over the Hob. I walk the familiar path to the old coal storage building puzzled by the smoke.

"Katniss."

Greasy Sae calls me from the front of her house. What's she doing home?

"Katniss, don't go there."

"Why? What's wrong?"

"New Head Peacekeeper, he set it on fire."

"What?"

"It's still burning and knowing the amount of coal it still holds I'm guessing it's going to be a while until the blaze stops."

"Was there anyone in there?"

"No, no... As soon as we knew about the change of Head Peacekeeper we knew we had to get out."

No more place to do my trade. My mother was careful with our money so I was sure we had enough to survive for a bit, provided I got the daily hauls.

Hazelle was anxiously waiting for me.

"I'm so glad you got here."

"Greasy Sae stopped me from going to the Hob."

"There is no Hob, Katniss. Not anymore. And you shouldn't go to the woods again, they are going to catch you if you do."

The noise outside alerts us that something is wrong.

"Mom... Peacekeepers... they are coming." Rory comes running in with his younger siblings.

"Go, Katniss. Go home."

"But..." the haul.

"Hide it. They must not find it."

I run trough the back door. No Peacekeeper in sight as I hide the haul in a hollow tree and run home.

"Katniss."

Prim runs into my arms and I hold her tight.

"I was so scared."

"It's okay. I'm here."

"Take the jacket and the boots off, Katniss."

The urgency and practicality in my mothers tone surprises me. I take them off, she's right they can't catch these things, they will probably tip them off to my illegal activity. She takes them somewhere while I clean myself hastily and before I can ask where she put them a loud bang at the door makes Prim scream.

My mother opens the door and Peacekeepers came storming in. I sit quiet with Prim.

"Search the house." the new Head Peacekeeper orders.

My mother joins us without uttering a word.

I'm able to recognize Darius but all the others are strangers to me. Before entering my mother's bedroom Darius sends me and apologetic look I reply with a slight nod. What can he do? He's a soldier he has to follow orders.

The sound of things breaking in our kitchen closet echoes the house.

"Where's your husband?"

"I'm a widow, Sir. My husband died in the mines years ago. It's just me and my two young daughters."

I keep my eyes low, holding a crying Prim tightly in my arms.

"Nothing, Sir." a female voice replies the Head Peacekeeper silent inquiry. The information doesn't seem to surprise him, I feel my blood boiling, it's just a scare tactic, bullying us into terror and compliance.

"Lets move on."

With one last look at the three of us the new Head Peacekeeper steps out followed by the rest of his crew.

"It's okay, Prim. Their gone."

"Are they coming back?"

"No, Sweetheart. They found nothing you heard them, they will move on to better prey. Now we must get ready, Prim."

My mother seems to know more about this new situation than I would expect.

"Ready for what?"

"Before, we had Head Peacekeepers like this one. They are violent and soon we will have people coming in from getting punished."

"Punished?"

"Lashes, I think, by the way he kept fiddling that whip."

"I have to go get my haul."

"Not yet. They are still out there, going house to house. Wait until later."

If I didn't knew better I would have thought my mother a witch. A few hours after our talk the first victim arrives, his back bares at least ten lashes that cut deep into his back, the fact that it's Gale is a shock more than a surprise.

"What happen?" I ask one of the men that carries him.

"He tried to stop them from hitting Greasy Sae grand daughter, you know, the one that is not right."

"And they hit him?"

"He defied authority."

"We take it from here. You can go." my mother is already working on Gale's back but he's clearly in a lot of pain.

I fell the bile come up from my stomach but I can't get my feet to move away from him.

"Katniss, you go tell Hazelle." One look at my mother and I understand, it's the perfect time for me to get the haul; I have an excuse to leave the house.

 

While we attend to Gale, Peeta is entering a heavily guarded Square and Justice Building in 10. He's pale white and immediately I worry, what have they done to him? From where I stand he looks physically fine but everything else feels wrong. This time Peeta just reads from a piece of paper. I don't even listen as I try to access what's wrong.

I'm shocked when Rue's song is heard once again, and arms raise showing our salute, Peeta's bold completely drains out of his face. Peacekeepers drag him into the building while others storm the crowd. It's the last image before all goes black.

For a moment I think I've fainted only to find the all house went dark.

"What's going on?" Prim distressed question echoes my thoughts.

A small candle light cuts trough the deep darkness.

"It's okay Prim. We just have to finish up under candle light but it's okay we're almost done."

I send a look to my mother, in her eyes I can see that everything is not fine, she knows more than she can tell Prim.

"Katniss..."

Gale's as regained consciousness but he's still in pain I can tell.

"I'm here."

"Thought you run off to the woods."

"Can't."

"Stay with me."

I can't deny him. I pull a stool and got ready to spend the night holding Gale's hand.

"Want me to stay? I can stay with you, Katniss."

"No, Prim. You go and rest. He will need you well rested tomorrow."

That night Peeta's face haunts my short moments of sleep while Gale's face haunts my moments of consciousness. Both of them more horrific than anything the Head Peacekeepers could do to me.


	29. One man against a tidal wave

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peeta continues his Tour but he can't fight the wave of discontent that has taken all Districts. Back in 12 the new Head Peacekeeper has everyone in a tight leash.

"Hey, how are you feeling?"

"Numb..." I watch him cringe closing his eyes "...with sudden stabs of pain."

"You are my hero." the little girl plays with Gale's fingers.

"And mine. Thank you Gale." I never saw Greasy Sae cry before.

"It's okay. I'll be alright." His words are for the little girl that remains looking at him with an adoring look on her face.

I can see Prim on the other side of the table where Gale rests, looking at her, almost in tears herself. Prim is a constant surprise to me. She never cries when she faces the most horrific of wounds but then she gets emotional and teary eyed by looking at this simple girl that we all can see doesn't belong in this world.

As the first rays of Sunlight brought the light back into our homes people started flooding in. Nothing like Gale but still many wounded by Thread's, finally I got the Head Peacekeeper name, whip. Turns out my mother was right, he loved to use that thing and he dispersed the lashes with sadistic pleasure.

"Katniss we need some supplies."

And I was the only one of no use at the house now filled with wounded people. In fact I was dieing to get out and run to the woods but I couldn't. Town and the Square were the best I could do.

It was an all new Square, a reflection of 12 itself. A pole and a stock were new shiny additions and somehow took over the Square. The Pole had spots of blood on it. Gale's blood, I had to turn away. Adding to the terror Peacekeepers controlled my every move.

I enter the store and got what was needed sparing the words exactly like the little girl behind the counter, at the door A Peacekeeper was keeping tabs on all our words.

With one last look around I run home; I can't shake the feeling someone is watching me even if, looking around, nobody is. As I reach the house I realize Thread managed to get me where he wanted, I'm don't trust my own shadow.

I find Gale as dozed off and only Prim remains at his side. My mother is tending to a small wound in Mr. Garth arm. It's lunch time when we find ourselves alone. Hazelle will be here in a few hours to check on Gale but, either than that, the wave of wounded in the wake of the new Peacekeepers seems to have died down.

We eat part of yesterday's haul but this time flavouring every bite. It's unknown when I'm going to be able to go back to the woods. I recall the animals, trapped in the snares waiting to the released, my bow and arrow carefully hidden waiting for me; I feel trapped, now I'm really a prisoner.

"Why did Cray leave?"

"Sometimes the Capitol changes the Head Peacekeeper, Prim."

"But Thread is mean, violent..."

"Most of the Head Peacekeepers are, Prim. Before Cray many people died."

"But... why?"

"There are rules, Prim. And we have to follow them."

"I don't understand a rule that forces us to die of hunger."

"Neither do I. Still hunting in the woods is illegal, Katniss and Gale always knew that."

"Still, I will try, Prim. I won't let you starve." I cut in trying to appease her.

"No, Katniss. I forbid it." the headstrong words voice by mother shock me. Forbid me? She can't forbid me of anything. Not anymore.

I turned to her, ill words on the tip of my tongue, but then I remember my promise to Peeta; going to the woods would go against my promise to keep myself safe. I swallow the words as my mother keeps on talking.

"We won't starve, Katniss. We have the goat, and the small reserve I kept saving for times like this and people trade me for the healing. Not much, I know, but it's something."

"Mom's right, Katniss. We will be okay, please don't risk your life."

Gale started to move in his sleep and we three went to find him trembling. Cold? Pain? I'm clueless.

"Katniss I need an herb." my mother pulls the family book and moves around the pages until she finds what she's looking for "This one. You should find it near the fence... do not cross that fence."

I walk to the Meadow, my feet avoiding our tree but my eyes pulling to it like a magnet. Far in the distant I can see the fence. Peacekeepers make close vigilance on it. It's impossible to get close to it or cross it without being spotted, and I am.

The Peacekeeper stops looking at me, I avert my eyes pretending not to notice him standing there. I look around searching for the herb; there it is, a feet away from the fence. I get on my knees, waiting to be questioned anytime but no voice is heard. I take an arm full of it, the most I can carry, who knows when will I be able to came back here. And walk back home.

I'm a few feet away when I hear the Peacekeeper footsteps on the grass. At first I think he's coming after me but turns out, to my relief, he's back walking along the fence.

There's no way I'm going to cross that fence, there's no way I'm going to return to the woods. Like Prim I question the why, why this sudden decision from the Capitol to increase security in 12, and, from the looks of it yesterday, not only in 12 but also in 10 and maybe all Districts. Could it be the Rebellion is not just a rumor but a real thing?

I enter the house wishing I could talk to Gale. He would know. But he's fighting a battle against pain. I'm happy when the herbs I got make him slip back into oblivion. When reality is this painful maybe it's a good thing to just escape it.

 

Hazelle spends the afternoon with her older boy. My mother and Prim fend the daily tasks and I feel useless. Finally my mother get's me to work getting some kind of concoction into a pasty state, much like Rue did in the Arena, but without spit rather some liquid my mother keeps pouring into it.

Gale's back is healing slowly but the scars are going to live with him all his life. Soon it will be curfew time and Hazelle has to go home. By dinner time everyone is closed up at home, waiting for Mandatory Viewing.

"Wish we could go to the Square."

I glimpse at my mother that can't hide the shiver. She knows what new horror now lays in the middle of the Square.

"You know we can't, Prim."

"Still, Katniss. I'm tired of being home all day long."

"Would you leave people unattend... needing your help?"

"No. Of course not." that closes the subject but I know it's not the end of it.

We are live in District 9 but he could well be 12 as there too the Square Center is taken by a stock and a pole and dozens of Peacekeepers impose their presence. Even from here I can sense the fear.

Peeta's speech is, once more, read from a piece of paper, words come out in automatic, no emotion behind them. It's a Peeta I don't recognize, a ill looking Peeta that brings tears to my eyes. The camera is on his face when I see the spark of terror crossing his eyes, the sound of Rue's song faint in the background, the ruffle sound of a moving crowd, the rhythmic sound of Peacekeepers boots marching, a scream. Peeta's face grows paler, the camera still on him, avoiding the Square, behind, the Justice Building door opens a screaming Haymitch calls out only to turn silent and ashed face witnessing whatever scenario is in front of him. The screen turns black once more.

It dawns on me Peeta won't be able to apeace the Districts, he's one man against a tidal wave of immense proportions. Outside we hear the Peacekeepers marching around the Seam, keeping vigilant to any break in curfew, keeping us inside, by terror.

The days go by and I don't know what's going to become of us, District after District the same thing keeps happening. To mine and a now almost fully recovered and angry Gale, surprise even 1 and 2, the Capitol lap dogs. Adding to all that is going on Peeta keeps slipping more and more and I'm scared, I'm afraid I won't be able to get him back from whatever dark place he's going deeper and deeper into.

I long for the day he get's back, I long for the moment I'm able to hold him in my arms. Just one more day and he will be back, one last day, in the Capitol. There there will be no Rebellion no Rue's song echoing, no screen turning black.

President Snow's Mansion is all colorful and bright. Here everyone is happy and gay with sparkling outfits.

"I welcome, Peeta Mellark, the Victor of the 74th Hunger Games. He represents the ones that survived the Dark Days, with their bravery and courage. Dark Days, a time when the Districts raised against the Capitol, Dark Days none of us wishes to relive, Dark Days when the best of us died for Panem. Dark Days that turned District 13 in to oblivion, only to exist in history books, The sacrifice of many that ensured us the peace we fight to keep, a peace we will fight every day and with every resource to keep. I thank you Peeta Mellark for showing us how the Dark Days are still an important time to remember."

The threat wasn't even a veiled one. Still, what ever is happening in the Districts it isn't happening in 12 and in that I find some hope. I just want Peeta to be back to the safety of 12.


	30. Where are you?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Katniss sleeps knowing tomorrow Peeta will be back, in 12, with her, safe. But tomorrow never comes.

Gale's no longer in my bed and for the first time in days I rest there looking out through the small window to the sky. Tomorrow Peeta will be back, I long to wrap my arms around him feel is even breath, watch him smile; it's like some piece of me is missing and the void is becoming unbearable.

I don't know when I sliped into oblivion but I must have as Gale calling out for me in the middle of the night startles me awake.

"Katniss... Katniss..."

I jump out of bed. What's he doing here? He's breaking curfew.

"Gale. What are you doing? They will kill you."

My mother and Prim join us.

"We must go. Now."

"What..."

"Now, Katniss."

Prim's the first to react to the urgency in his words, my mother follows suite. 

"I'll be in the wood's. Our usual path."

Gale goes out in a run. I don't understand any of it still I hastily get dressed, pull my game bag, my father's jacket and put on the boots.

The three of us get out to find an endless stream of people walking my everyday path. Kids are sleepy, some are in tears but they all run more than walk. No Peacekeepeers in sight, the oddness of the fact makes my sense of urgency rise; something is wrong.

The fence was brought down and the steady stream of people run to the woods without any barrier. Just inside, waiting for them, the first Peacekeeper I see, Darius.

"Go through there, go, run."

He keeps repeating the words in loop urging people to move faster.

"What's going on, Darius?"

"We got orders to leave District 12."

The information bares no meaning to me.

"All of us, Katniss. There are no more Capitol people or Peacekeepers in 12."

And I knew.

"Mom, Prim go with them. I'll join you later."

"Where are you going?"

"I have to help, Prim."

I knew she understood.

I run to get my bow and arrow, relieved they are still there, waiting for me.

"There aren't any Peacekeepers anymore, Katniss." Darius stresses as I go pass him with the bow.

"I'm expecting the Capitol isn't planning to offer us freedom from their leash. I feel less defenseless with this."

Darius sends my bow and arrow a doubtful look.

"I know you are good with that, I saw enough beavers and rabbits killed with that thing. Still, against what I think they are sending that's not much. I'll give you a tip, don't try to shoot through the windows their protected, aim at the weapon, it's doesn't like being shot at."

I have no idea what he's talking about still I nod a thank you and run back against the tide of people leaving 12. My thoughts are on Peeta, what he would do if he was here, and I know what he would do, I know exactly where he would run to.

There's light and life appears as normal as everyday when I enter the Mellarks home. Mrs Mellark looks at me like I'm an intruder, which I am. 

"We must go. Now." I'm almost out of breath.

"I don't understand why are all these people running. We are safe here in Town. My son is getting back tomorrow, I'm expected to be at my best to welcome him."

Mr. Mellark gives me an apologetic look.

"My wife is staying, I'm staying."

"I'm going to bed."

I stand there, looking at Peeta's mother disappearing up the stairs, stunned.

"Mr. Mellark..."

"I know, Katniss. It's no use."

He takes an old book from a shelve and hands it to me.

"Many years ago, me and your mother decided to keep, not a diary, but a book with all the things we learned over time. I don't know if she still has hers but I kept mine. Can you give it to Peeta?"

I look at the book, it's so much like the one my mother has and I feel the tears in my eyes.

"She still has it. We all keep it updated at all times."

He smiles.

"Now go. Run. Save yourself."

I can hear the sound of hovercrafts approaching. I ran out the door to the Meadow. The first bomb strikes, I think it hit the mines as the flames go higher than I expected. The second bomb follows suite and the sound of screams reaches my ears as I run. The third bomb must have hit the Square as I feel it's heat warming my back. A scream catches in my mouth. 

The sound of the hovercraft over me makes me turn, arrow on bow, ready to be released. It's a small arrow against a massive hovercraft, there's no way I can win. The gun readies itself for a new charge, I recall Darius advice; I aim at the weapon, the arrow goes in and the gun stops humming, I don't no what is happening but something definitely is happening as the sound of an explosion reaches me. The hovercraft deviates from course and falls to the ground missing me for several hundred feet.

Still the blast as it crashes sends me to the ground, I get up facing the bakery, already engulfed in flames.

"Katniss..." someone is calling out for me but I don't recognize who.

"Going."

It's Darius he helps me stand. 

"Wonderful shot. Now let's go. There's more coming."

I can hear them as I disappear in the trees.

 

We are about 900 people, the survivors of 12, not counting Peeta and Haymitch. I have no idea where they are I just hope they managed to escape the Capitol and President Snow but somehow I don't think that's what happen, not after the President's speech last night and the attack he just unleashed over us all.

We walk all night, the orange light of fire behind us marking the spot where once our homes stood. Me and Darius close the group, I'm sure Gale's in front guiding everyone. As sure as I know where he's taking us; the Lake. There we will be far away, have food and some shelter.

It's dawn when we arrive. The Lake is peaceful, quiet and beautiful under the pink dawn light.

"This is beautiful, Katniss."

"My father brought me here when I was younger."

"There's a house?"

"There's others. But that one is in better shape than the rest."

I find my mother and Prim inside, taking care of the wounded, thankfully it's mostly minor injuries.

"Katniss. I'm so glad you made it."

"You doubted me, Little Duck?"

I dismiss Darius look.

"No. Never. Manage to help?"

"Not as I wanted too."

"Stop, I'm fine." an upset Gale is pushed into the house. "Prim, can you tell this "friend" that it's nothing?"

Prim checks Gale's shoulder. And then turns to David, Gale's friend, from the mines.

"It's not nothing. I'll take care of it."

"I'm fi... Auch..."

"Stay still. I don't want to hurt you."

"You just did."

"Than keep still or I will really hurt you, Gale Hawthorne."

I've never heard Prim using that tone before but it works. Gale keeps still by turning to Darius.

"Thank you."

"I can't agree with what they did, Gale. Never. I have about 10 years still to go but I need to be able to live with myself."

"We will protect you as we can, Darius."

"But I'm a..."

"You are our friend, and you saved all of us."

"There. I'm done."

The three of us walk out leaving Prim and my Mom to their work.

"From Town almost none came." I note looking around. I spot Delly and her siblings and two more merchant families but that's it. Mayor Undersee isn't anywhere, with any luck he was evacuated with the Peacekeepers.

"We must organize ourselves. We need food and shelter, everyone needs to help us get that."

At first I'm scared of everyone's reaction to Darius but soon I understand people know he was the one that alerted Gale thus saving all of us. Me and Gale team up to hunt, Darius and some of Gale's friends from the mines go back and cover our tracks, keeping a close eye just in case the Capitol sends someone after us. The remaining people go through the rest of the ruined houses making them welcome enough for us to sleep in.

It's dinner time when we sit back together, eating Greasy Sae soup. I've missed her soups. Night comes, I can hardly stand but still I can't sleep. Where's Peeta? I know he's not in 12. There is no more 12, as there is no more 13.


	31. District 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hovercrafts appear creating a situation of utter panic. No one is expecting to hear a familiar voice as they approach the Lake.  
> Already in 13 Katniss finds what they are asking of her and finds a new ally.

Days go by one after the other and people are adjusting to this new reality. We found a sort of balance and the days are becoming more and more of a routine. We figure all Panem thinks us dead, as no hovercraft comes searching for us.

Up there, on the horizon, the smoke is getting less and less visible as the fires in 12 die down. It's time to go back and see what remains.

"You are not going, Katniss." Gale is adamant.

"How do you figure?"

"It's enough that me and Darius go. One of us needs to be hunting."

It was an excuse but one I couldn't deny with all the mouths we now have to feed. Gale and Darius go and come back; no words are needed I can see it on their faces, the hope of finding survivors is extinguished.

"Only the Victors Vilage is unscated. But the houses there are empty. And by the looks of it, empty for almost a month."

Since both Haymitch and Peeta left for the Tour.

"Think we can go back?" Delly's still hopeful she may go home. 

A shadow crosses both their faces.

"Not for a long time. There's a lot of fires still burning and, as far as we could tell, there's cameras."

That night many cry themselves to sleep. Love ones lost forever. I still hold hope, I believe Peeta's alive, I have too, I need to be believe.

 

The next morning the sound alerts us. Hovercrafts.

Me and Gale get our bows and quivers and Darius his gun, while everyone takes cover. We watch as the Hovercrafts move closer; they take their time. We first see them over 12, we watch as they slowly approach our position. They seem to be searching for something, searching for us. 

"They saw us yesterday. They came to hunt us down." I hear Darius just to my side.

That's exactly my thought, they came to kill us. I look behind me, to the house where I know Prim is, and it shows no exterior sign of life. My mind rests a bit more eased.

The first Hovercraft reaches the Lake creating waves in it's surface. I place an arrow on the bow and aim carefully. As soon as they open the weapon haul I'll shoot, and now I know exactly where to aim.

"Weapon, back, slightly to the right." I whisper to Gale.

I sense, more than see, Gale preparing his own arrow and we wait. I know the moment they spot us as the hovercraft stops in a steady hovering in front of us. I feel my body tense, if they shoot we are all dead, the arrow points to where I know the weapon is going to come out, my arrow must not only be accurate but also fast, it has to reach the weapon before they shoot.

Seconds go by, I feel the tension rising in me, what are they doing what are they planning? Why don't they shoot?

From up above a voice comes out of the hovercraft speakers and freezes me to the spot.

"Wow there. Easy, Sweetheart."

Haymitch?!?"

"Lower your bow, Katniss."

"Is that...?" it's Gale turn to be shocked

"I can recognize that drunken voice anywhere. That's him." Darius steeps up.

I know both men dropped their weapons, only my arrow is still very much ready when Haymitch comes down from the Hovercraft.

"We came to take you all to safety."

"How did you know we were here?" Gale ask shaking Haymitch hand.

"We didn't. Still I had to check. Glad we did." he stops turning directly to me "Can you, please, lower your bow, Katniss."

"Who's we?" I notice Gale takes a step back from Haymitch and hardens his grip on the bow.

"Me and our allies from..."

"District 13, Mam. I'm Boggs, here representing President Alma Coin, leader of District 13."

My hand turns numb and my bow, still ready, loses steadiness.

"There is no District 13."

It's the new arrival that answers me.

"That's what you are suppose to think."

By now all the survivors are hearing our exchange.

I feel someone touching my right arm, I turn to met Prim's eyes.

"We are saved, Katniss."

My arrow goes back into the quiver. I keep looking attentively to Haymitch, waiting for him to answer my unspoken question. I know he knows what I'm asking by the way he avoids looking at me. His silence speaks louder than the scream I wish I could release.

 

The hovercrafts bring us to District 13. On the surface there's nothing but rubble but below ground there's a city. I'm completely amazed as are all the survivors.

They screen all of us for any health issues. Diseases are a serious concern in a place where people live so closely together. I take it patiently until they try to take all my things. I grab them as I can, boots, jacket, game bag inside which lays Mr Mellark's book; in the end they accept I keep the three but not the bow and arrows, no weapons are allowed in the population; an unpleasant District 12 feel comes over me but I have no choice but allow them to take them away.

"Hi there."

I'm glad Haymitch knew better than to make me go hunt him down.

"Where?"

By his expression I immediately know something is amiss.

"He didn't manage to get out."

I want to hit him instead I grab the hospital bed until my fingers hurt.

"How could..."

"We got separated, Katniss. You have to understand how things work at the Presidential Welcoming. I'm inside the mansion while Peeta is escorted in by Effie."

"Effie?"

"Effie Trinket, you know... from the Reaping."

Of course I remember her, how could I forget or anyone for that matter.

"Like I was saying, I was inside the mansion. Waiting for Peeta. Talking to Beetee, the Capitol technical wiz, and Finnick..."

"Finnick?"

"He's the Capitol party favorite, President Snow always flies him in to entertain the party crowds. Especially female party crowds."

Something sounded off but I couldn't care less about the playboy that lights up President Snow's parties.

"I heard the speech and immediately knew we were in trouble. The three of us knew something was very wrong. Plutarch Heavensbee came storming at us and pushed us out of the room into some corridors. Don't ask me to retrace my steps I wouldn't be able to. To me I was going to find myself in a dungeon somewhere. Turns out the new Head Gamemaker is the leader of the underground rebels in the Capitol. They managed to get us all out."

"Not all."

"No." I feel his sadness but it has no effect on my anger "I tried, Katniss. Believe me I tried. Plutarch told me he was safe, that he was with his team. I don't know what went wrong. They have Annie too, you know, President brought her to keep Finnick... well, doesn't matter. What matters is we are trying to get in touch with them, so far unsuccessful but I have faith in Beetee."

It isn't enough.

"I had faith... in you, Haymitch."

"I know, Katniss. And I will get him back. I'll do anything to get him back."

I could stress that that isn't remotely the same thing but there's no point. I can see Haymitch is speaking the truth and, now, there's not much more he can do to get Peeta out of the Capitol.

"Are you sure President Snow doesn't have him?"

"Not going to lie, it's possible but we think not. He's just stuck with a few others in the Capitol. We will get him out, Katniss."

"You mean, President Alma Coin will get him out."

"She want's him on her side so, yes. She needs someone to rally the troops. The destruction of 12 made every Rebel rethink his involvement. If the Capitol can do that to 12 without a second notice they can easily do it to any District. Things are getting bad on the Rebel front, she needs someone people will listen to get the Rebellion back on track."

"That's Peeta."

"Exactly, but for now she wants to talk to you."

"Why?"

"Don't know." he looks around and drops his voice "Katniss, be careful. I don't know her agenda I just know she has one."

He leaves crossing the door as Boggs gets in.

"The President is expecting you in Command."

I dress the strange looking gray jumpsuit that hangs on the closet and join him. Going through the corridors outside the Hospital I notice everyone is wearing a jumpsuit like mine.

"Here everyone dresses the same?" I ask Boggs.

"We're military, Katniss. Besides we only can survive by managing our resources, this way the uniforms can go to the next person when they stop fitting us. I like your boots."

"They were my father's. In 12 we also had to manage our limited resources."

"I gather that much from the way everyone for 12 accepted our rules. Our guests from the Capitol are struggling a lot."

"Capitol guests?" I feel a chill running through me.

"You'll see."

He stops in front of a door labeled "Command" and knocks opening it without waiting a reply. I walk in to find Gale, Darius, Haymitch, the blond male model that is Finnick Odair, a dark haired man with glasses that looks familiar that doesn't even notice I got in, a bulky man with a strange smile on his face that makes me wonder why anyone can be smiling in a time like this, a dark haired man elegant even in the grey jumpsuit than seems to be very attentive to what is going on, and a gray haired women whose most remarkable feature is the way her hair hangs like a curtain, being she's the only other woman in the room and by the way she measures me from top to bottom before rising I know I'm facing President Coin herself.

"Welcome to District 13, Katniss, I'm President Alma Coin."

We shake hands.

"Please sit."

I take my place at Gale's side.

"Let me introduce you to everyone: Gale, Darius and Haymitch you know; Finnick Odair and Beetee, Victors from previous games; Plutarch Heavensbee, appointed Head Gamemaker for this year Hunger Games; and Cinna, District 12 female tribute stylist."

I immediately like Cinna, he's done a very good job with Lily, she had made an impression; even if her lack of skills didn't allow her to capitalize sponsors Cinna made an amazing job. But Plutarch I wanted to leave the moment I knew who he was, he planned killing games, murderous traps to kill innocent kids.

"Don't know if someone already told you but Peeta and Annie are somewhere in the Capitol. We are working on getting them out."

Beetee starts to put forward an update.

"I've created the Capitol communication system, at the time I wanted it to be unbreakable, I guess I did a very good job. Still I was able to hack it, enough to make small broadcasts to the Districts."

"That's why I ask you all here. Our original plan was getting Peeta to make those broadcasts. We are sure he can keep turning the tide in our favor, keeping the rebels united and hopeful. Being we don't have Peeta yet, we came up with another plan."

Plans are Plutarch field of expertise so he takes the stand.

"Besides Peeta only one other image is, at this time, engraved in everyone's mind." He makes a gesture and a screen lights up in front of us.

It shows 12 while it was under attack. At first I can't see nothing else but fire, it's Gale cursing that brings me to focus. It's like looking into a mirror. There I stand arrow ready, a fierce look on my face, I don't smile, I don't show any emotion as the small arrow releases. The camera stays on me as I watch the result of my accurate arrow, still focused on me I begin to get closer and closer until only my back is visible and the screen goes black.

I'm shocked. The Capitol was showing our destruction live to all Panem. They pretended to show the destruction of 12, as a warning to the other, more important Districts; what they got was a tiny unknown girl, not more than a child in theireyes, bringing down an hovercraft with an insignificant hand made bow and arrow.

"That's what Rebels are. Relentless, never giving up, even when defeat seems sure." Plutarch takes note of is own phrase he seems very pleased with himself.

Gale is telling me something but I can hardly hear him, I'm still stunned from seeing the images, it's like it's not me but another person, it feels weird. The only thing I register is that he's upset and I can guess why, he wanted me safe; not bringing down Capitol Hovercrafts.

"Nice shot, Sweetheart." Haymitch is almost clapping.

I give Haymitch an angry look.

"We need to show you, Katniss. We need to show you are with us. That you survived the vicious attack on 12. Show that against all District 12 lives on."

Plutarch is still wrapped up on his plan where he seems to think I can take Peeta's place. What haunts me it's not even that I'm no match to Peeta's skills when it comes to talk to people but that he may be considering they don't need Peeta anymore.

"I'm not much of a talker."

"Oh I don't think that's true." Plutarch is a man that sticks to his plans.

"It comes with being not even remotely nice." Haymitch is trying to help... I think.

"Can't believe that." Finnick is smiling at me like I'm the most interesting girl he has seen in a year.

"He's right. I'm not." I answer looking straight into his eyes, his smile unwavering.

That seems to cut Plutarch short but he soon recovers.

"Cinna will make you a beautiful outfit."

Gale just bursts out laughing.

"Sorry. So very sorry."

Gale excuses himself more to Cinna than to me. He knows me, he knows I don't much care for that kind of thing but I like Cinna and in truth I never had an outfit made by someone that talented before.

"I would like a new outfit, but still I don't really know what I can do to help you. Besides I don't really know if I want to even be involved in this."

Everyone but Gale, Darius and Haymitch are shocked.

"Don't you want to be free?"

"Free? For what? My District isn't there anymore. The only thing I can do is to preserve its memory and ensure every survivor is well cared for and able to keep our ways, our memories, alive. From what you are telling me there's one of them still in danger. Are all survivors from 12 going to find refuge in 13?"

Haymitch struggles a bit before understanding my point.

"Are you planning on replacing Peeta by Katniss? If you are thinking about it forget it, it won't work. You have to get him out of the Capitol. It's your only chance."

Finnick to my surprise, backs him up.

"He's right, if Katniss is doing the propos, you won't be needing Peeta anymore. What guarantee do we have that you are going to rescue him and Annie?"

"We have a plan. We already talked about this." the President looks in control but I can see she doesn't like being put into question.

"It's not enough, Madam President."

"My word. My word isn't enough?" she's getting angry and that won't do.

"Excuse me, Finnick. Madam President, I'm sure you're honor and word is something you respect, but we only met today, I can't judge that, not yet. I would be a fool, unable to be respected if I judged someone I only met seconds ago. I'm sure I too am still being judge by you. What I stress is you are asking for my help on something I don't have even the slightest inclination to do, furthermore, doing it could mean a potential risk that a survivor from 12 would be the one paying the ultimate price. I will do it but I need to know he will be rescued."

I see her pondering and calming down.

"A written agreement?"

I look at Finnick, we understand each other, I don't know why or how but we do.

"That will do." he answers the President.

"It's okay then."

But she's not happy. She's use to getting her way unquestioned, unconditionally.

"Meet you tomorrow, Katniss." Cinna soft voice is the last thing I hear before Boggs escorts me and Finnick out the door.

"Thank you, Finnick."

"Your welcome. Besides you did me a favor. I wasn't sure they would get Annie out, this way I have a bit more of a reassurance."

"Annie?"

"The love of my life." is eyes sparkle reminding me of Peeta and I know why we understood each other so well in there.

The elevator stops "I'm here. See you later."

The elevator doors close. I'm alone with a silent Boggs.

"You don't agree?"

"It's not that. I get it, still she's the President. We all owe her obedience and respect."

"I didn't mean to be disrespectful."

"You weren't and you were. Don't know what to think of it."

"If it was you, what would you do?"

"That's just it. I would do anything to have them all back."

I nod. Taking it as a confirmation of what I just did. 


	32. Propos

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cinna is making an outfit for Katniss and Plutarch wants to find her inner actress.

Mr. Mellark's book is now carefully resting on a draw on the small quarters my mom, me and Prim were assign to. I keep all my personal belongings there except for the boots which I wear. In the morning, acording to the general information we were all given I stucked my arm in a hole on the wall and I now wear a schedual in my right arm.

"Good morning."

Gale has something on his mind as I sit by his side with my breakfeast tray.

"Morning, Gale."

"What's your schedual for the morning?"

I guess he decided to let it go.

"From here to Prep and then class. You?"

"Classes all the way. Room 404"

I check my arm there it shows Room 404.

"I guess I'll join you later then."

Time is considered a precious resource here in 13, there's not much no time to linger.

Cinna is already waiting for me in Prep.

"Tell me something about yourself."

"Not much to tell."

"I want to design something you are confortable wearing, Katniss. To do that I have to get a feel on what you like, what you are comfortable in."

"Comfortable ?"

"Yes. Like... are you a girly girl that loves pink and fluffy dresses?"

I smile picturing Posy getting extactic with a dress like that.

"Not realy."

"What did you do in 12? For fun."

Fun?

"No fun, didn't have time."

I can see Cinna strugling but still he keeps a nice smile, working to understand me, so I offer him a picture of my life in 12.

"In 12 we struggled to survive. Since my father died things were hard, I provided for my family. I had no time left to have fun."

I see is expression turn somber

"How did you father died?"

"In the mines. There was an accident."

"And the Capitol..."

"If you work you get food, if you don't you starve."

He's shocked. Don't think anyone had ever put things this coldly to him.

"But you are too young to work."

"Yes, I go to School but then I go out of 12, hunt, gather..."

"That's... dangerouse."

I smile at him. I know he was going to say illegal.

"And starving means death."

He looks at me like he's seeing me for the first time.

"Your right. Let's see then, your a hunter and your weapon of choice is..."

"Bow and arrow."

I recall my father's bow stashed away somewhere in 13.

"Okay. I have enough to draw up some ideas."

He opens a handbook and starts sketching, so fast I'm mesmerize looking at his hand.

"What do you think?"

He turns the drawing to me, an elegant me with a fitted dark suit. But my eyes are drawn to the page before.

"What's that?" I touch the page where an outfight with fethers and a spot of white under the arms caugth my eye.

"It's a Mockinjay outfit."

Cinna's smile grows wither.

"I guess I'm as romantic as anyone. I was hopping to find Peeta's Mockingjay, in fact I was sure you all knew who she was. How wrong was I. You like it?"

Peeta's Mockingjay...

"It's beautifull."

"Shame I don't get to make it."

"Don't give up. Peeta is going to be back soon and then..."

"Think she will get him?"

I didn't know, I just knew I wanted him back, I just knew Haymitch and I had done what we could to ensure President Coin would follow trough on her promise.

I check the clock, it's time to go join Gale in 404.

"Go. They are pretty strict with scheduals over here."

 

"Soldier Katniss Everdeen, everyone."

The bulky woman presents me to the class. Most of them are from 12 so they know me already.

"Sit there, Soldier."

Gale watches me as I sit behind him. Soldier Grant keeps lecturing the class as if no one had interrupted her. This is not the regular class I got in 12. It's all military standards and we have to keep on our toes not to miss anything.

"That's diferent."

We are sitting at the dinner hall eating lunch.

"Class? Yeah. It's much more usefull."

Gale always loved strategies and tactics, he fited right in the militarize society that was 13.

"I would be happy just to go  hunting."

"Must say I miss that too. Still we will have weapons class in the afternoon."

"Looks like we are in a crash course."

"That's because we are. It's a special course for us, newly arrivals."

"Missed that part of class."

"It was before you arrived."

We drop our trays on the pile and step out.

"Where are you heading now, Katniss?"

"Plutarch." I make a sour face.

"You don't like him."

"What's to like, he's a Gamemaker."

"Which makes him a master manipulater, Katniss."

"That's what I'm affraid of."

"But needed for the Rebellion. See you later."

 

"There you are."

"Plutarch."

"Afternoon, Sweetheart."

"Haymitch, didn't know you would be here."

"I convince them it was to their advantage."

"So we are going to film you here but like you are out there in the field." Plutarch ignores Haymitch completely.

I look at him like he's telling me I must shoot the Moon with and arrow.

"I don't follow."

"The President needs you to have more training before allowing us to move outside, to the Districts, hence we will shoot here then get which ever scenary we chose for background."

"It won't work." both me and Haymitch say it at the sametime.

"I'm not that convincing." I add.

"Let's try it." He thinks I'm wrong. To be honest I can be, I never tried it before.

"You are losing time, Plutarch." Haymitch isn't taking it as well.

"My time to lose. Here, these are the words I need you to say."

It's a simple enough text. Ralling the troops to fight united against the Capitol.

"Got them?"

"Yes."

"Now go stand on that plataform and say them with conviction. Like you have an army behind you."

I try, I try my hardest but my words come out flawed in so many levels. I lack conviction, I lack feeling the scenary Plutarch conveys by words as real. I'm use to fight alone, either than Gale and Peeta, I always had to fend for myself it's harder than I thought imagining I now have thousands with me, supporting me.

It's time for me to go back to class, it's a disappointed Plutarch that releases me. Haymitch smiles but I know he's just reassuring me, he knows what's at stake, and he knows I can't deliver, not this way.

Weapons class would have been a nice way to end the afternoon but we are on assembling and disaembling weapons. Me and Gale are pretty good but others struggle.

 

 As days go by I try to keep up with Gale but he's a much better Soldier than I am and after a few days he's moved to an advance class. I to move to a diferent class after they see my aim is better than most of their army, still I'm not at Gale's level and I find myself alone in a class filled with District 13 kids.

Like at home I focus on class and make the grades. Gale's right these classes are much better than the ones back in 12. These ones I understand, these ones I find useful, at least most of the time. Some other times I'm shocked and appaled on how they talk about humans as I once did about animals.

On the propos front it's been weeks since I was called up to practice with Plutarch. Cinna has my outfit ready but I still haven't dressed it up. Haymitch tells me, Plutarch gain sense which I translate to Plutarch understanding filming me in doors pretending I'm on the field won't work. Secretly I hope it means they given up and as time goes by I'm more and more convinced someone else is doing the propos. Maybe even Peeta.

"Soldier Everdeen, your schedual as change. You are expected in Command."

The rest of the class stops. I guess being called to Command isn't an regular occurrence. I walk hastly thinking that maybe there's news on Peeta, before I recall that, to them, me and Peeta are strangers.

I knock waiting for permission to enter. President Coin makes me wait, I feel the tension building up and struggle to calm down; she's just showing me who's in command.

"Enter."

I step in and wait looking at her. She's pleased.

"Come in, sit down."

I do as I'm told only now seeing who's also sitting there. Plutarch, Haymitch, Cinna, Gale, Darius and Boggs.

"It seems propos shooting in 13 isn't working. Plutarch and Haymitch have presented a proposal that I consider helds high risk on your safety, they propose the shooting takes place on one of the Districts, in a real battle field. Before I decide I would like to have your opinion."

"If it helps I'll do it."

"It's quite a risk, you're teacher reports you are doing nicely but still..."

I hold her look.

"Very well. It's settle then. You may go."

I excuse myself and return to class.

It's dinner time when I caught up with Gale again. Prim and my mother have been released from the Hospital and the Hawthorne's and the Everdeen's eat together as we often do since we arrived 13.

Posy is excited with her classes and her classmates, Rory wishes he was old enough to join me and Gale.

"You are too young to join the military." Hazelle cuts his complaints short.

"Prim isn't young to work at the Hospital."

"It's different. Besides she's older than you."

Rory is still upset. 

"He wants to grow up faster than he should." Gale almost whispers.

"Like we did?"

"He doesn't need to be like us, he can enjoy being a child. Every child should have the right to enjoy being a child."

I nod as the Panem anthem echoes the room turning our attention to the screen.

Presidente Snow welcomes us all with a smile on his lips.

"To all citizens of Panem, all united once more as we achieved a great victory against those that want to destroy us. Their net, carefully weaved taking advantage of our freedom and our trust, extended itself from 12 up to the Capitol itself. The Head no longer exists and what remains as been uprooted from our midst this evening. Panem is, once more, free to live in peace."

"What's he saying?" Hazelle is puzzled but I can't hear her. Peeta, he's got Peeta and all the rest of the underground in the Capitol.

"Have you seen Haymitch?" it doesn't even sound like my voice.

"No idea."

"Katniss, what's wrong?"

"Nothing I just remember something I have to tell Haymitch."

I look around the room until I spot him, still looking at the screen.

"Haymitch..."

"I don't know, Katniss. I don't..." he looks beaten up "I don't know anything."

"Soldier Haymitch, you are order to get to Command."

"Guess I'm going to find out."

I watch him and Gale leave their trays and walk out.

"Be safe, Peeta. Please be safe."


	33. District 7 and another Victor

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Finally Katniss get's out to shoot a decent propo. The elected District is District 7 there Katniss and Gale meet Johanna Mason, another Hunger Games Victor.

Not even a sky full of stars to help me go through the night as I lay vigilant waiting for footsteps on the corridor, the wake up signal comes before any sound was heard outside our quarters, Haymitch didn't came.

I got up even before my mom and Prim, stuck my arm in the hole and check for time to hunt down Haymitch. I had just barely enough if I rushed the morning hygiene and took breakfast at the limit. Less than half an hour I was already walking the corridors and, moments later, knocking on Haymitch door.

"You look like crap, Sweetheart."

"Did he..."

Haymitch step out closing the door behind him.

"We don't know, Katniss. It could just be misinformation but, because we can't get in touch with the Rebels in the Capitol, we aren't sure. Beetee is trying his best, President Coin is working on the assumption that our net in the Capitol has been compromised."

"She has to get him out of there, Haymitch."

"I know, Katniss. I know. Thing is we have no idea where, in the Capitol, he his. It's impossible to organize a search and rescue mission, we have to know exactly where he is to send a team to grab him."

Meanwhile Peeta is struggling to survive somewhere in Capitol at the very best or already in Snow's hands being tortured at the worst. My legs don't seem to be enough to hold me up.

"I won't let her forget him, Katniss. Neither will Finnick, he wants Annie back too. You need to stay strong and believe, I know you can."

But it's different, somehow this is so much worst than the time he was in the Arena when I saw him everyday.

"You should go. Not the best time for a bad report on you. You do know President Coin is checking daily with your teachers don't you?"

"Wasn't sure but..."

"Now you are. Go. Be a good soldier."

 

So much better said than done. All day I spend on a haze, like I'm walking on eggshells and not on solid ground. I'm on autopilot. Thankfully it's expert weapon class all morning and with the many years of practice the bow and arrow are like an extention to my own body. After some adjusting to the used up bow from weapons class I manage to be almost at my best, which is still much better than any of my fellow students.

"Soldier Everdeen, your schedule has been changed. Report to Prep immediately."

I walk in to find Cinna fiddling with some costume. Must be his creation to me.

"What do you think?"

It's black with a slight shimmering of green.

"How did you know my favorite color is green?"

"It is? I didn't know. It just seemed fitting to go with the bow and arrows. Now let's try it."

It's amazing how comfortable it is. I pretend to have a bow and arrow and test for any constraint in my movements but there isn't any.

"It's time. Plutarch is waiting for you at the dock."

"The dock?"

"They decided to film on site."

I was going out, I've missed the Sun. Feeling the Sun heating up my skin would do me wonders and help with my lack of sleep.

 

Plutarch keeps talking, the rest of us pretend to listen. We are on a Hovercraft heading for 7. The District has been quiet for several hours now and they want me to shoot some propo there. I don't know about the others but I'm just wishing I could fly this Hovercraft to the Capitol and get Peeta. But then that's the same as wishing I could grow wings and turn into a Mockinjay.

My team on the ground are Gale, Boggs, Cressida, Messala, Castor and Pollux. The Rebel Commander in 7, Blight, is waiting for us. Plutarch and Haymitch will stay on the Hovercraft; Haymitch will be in my ear, via radio, all the time I'm on the ground; the thought is terrifying in itself.

"Behave." he admonishes me.

"I would swear you should wish for me to do my best."

"That too." he smiles.

The Hovercraft door opens and Boggs takes the lead.

"Let's move out."

I follow Boggs orders and walk closely behind him.

When I heard about District 7, the lumber District, I couldn't imagine this. There are trees as far as the eye can see, the buildings were mainly build of the same material, very few are still standing.

"Welcome to District 7." 

"I thought Haymitch was with you." a small dark haired woman speaks immediately after Commander Blight.

"Johanna Mason." Blight introduces his partner.

I remember her name she's a Victor, as I recall she's vicious with an ax.

 

Boggs identifies us all by name. I feel Johanna's eyes on me. As Boggs and Blight move forward, Johanna keeps to my side.

"So you're the lucky shooter."

"It wasn't luck."

"Really?" she sounds impressed but I can tell from the look she gives me she's really not.

We come to a stop in front of a burning building. Looking around I'm able to identify the Square and thus what's burning, it's the Justice Building.

"They set fire to their own building. Talking about poor accuracy. But that's not your problem is it?"

"She's pretty accurate." Johanna questioning my skills is getting on Gale's nerves.

"What a handsome little soldier you are. They tell me you guys are coming in to shoot propos, they couldn't have chosen a better actor."

Gale pales then turns red, now she's done it and I can't even blame Gale for wanting to physically hurt her still I know he'll get in trouble if he does so I clarify who's who.

"I'm shooting the propos. Gale's is protecting me."

"Oh, a bodyguard. That's even better."

What's wrong with this girl is she really out to make Gale punch her? He wouldn't do that... I think... if he did I have a feeling she would make him pay, dearly.

"Katniss can you give your earpiece to Johanna." I forgot Haymitch was hearing everything.

"Nothing would give me more pleasure. Can she keep it?"

"Be a good girl."

I'm never a good girl, not to him, still pulling out the earpiece will be a relief. I take off the piece and hand it to Johanna that places it on her ear.

"Hi there."

"SHUT UP!"

The three of us jump at Haymitch scream.

"Leave Gale alone, Johanna."

"Sorry couldn't hear. I'm deaf. Is that you Haymitch?"

"You know very well it is. Now stop pestering. Give the earpiece back to Katniss."

She takes it off putting it back on my, still open, hand.

"Here. Better you than me."

"Can't you take it? And keep it?"

She just laughs.

 

We shoot the propo. This time it goes much better. Knowing dozens of people were in the Square when they targeted the Justice Building fuels my anger and makes it transpire to the words. Exactly how Plutarch wanted. 

"That's perfect, Sweetheart. Now let's get out of here. No? What do you mean, No."

I lose Haymitch.

"What's going on?"

"Incoming. Take cover." at Boggs command we all run for cover.

A Capitol hovercraft appears up in the sky, fire bombs hit building after building. On the ground I see the Peacekeepers marching in towards us.

"We have to leave. Now."

For some reason I can't phantom Johanna is the one handling the situation better. We run after her, Commander Blight closes the group as we enter a building on the back of the Justice Building.

"In here."

I look down to the hole in the ground.

"Go. Now."

Sound of gunfire reaches me and I start my descent into the unknown. I keep my hand on the ladder as Cressida, Messala, Castor, Pollux, then Gale, Boggs come down. As darkness involves us I hear one more person on the ladder. It's Johanna.

"Come on."

My eyes start to adjust and I can distinguish a corridor, it's not natural but manmade. The radio in my ear is useless, Haymitch should be going ballistic by now. We come to another ladder and Johanna goes up.

"Clear. You can come up."

Daylight is too strong to my eyes even if we are inside a building.

Boggs opens the map on a table.

"Where are we?"

"Here." Johanna identifies our location, we are about two blocks away from the Square. Gale goes and check the Hovercraft position.

"It's are standing there. Over the Square."

"Good. Let's settle down and wait it out."

We all sit back. Gale takes the first watch. We can see the flames from the fire bombs, I cringe every time one hits the ground. Memories of 12 keep coming back to me, the bakery in flames, all the lives lost.

"Don't worry. No one's there. People left town days ago. Only we remain and we keep underground most of the time. We only come out when we have targets..."

I hear a distant explosion, this one sounds different from the others.

"... like now. Soon they will retreat. There's nothing for them to target and there's plenty for us to use as target practice."

She's right but the hours feel like days.

"Katniss... you okay?"

Haymitch's back and he startles me; I forgot I had the earpiece.

"Yeah. We all are except Blight."

We hear an Hovercraft, this one over our position.

"Okay, Soldiers let's move out."

District 13 hovercraft drops a stair and pulls us all in, even Johanna.

"Haymitch Abernathy. Long time no see."

"Johanna Mason. Can't say I've missed you."

"Likewise. Still here we are, together again."

It's a Victor's Reunion only the Victor I long to see isn't here and his whereabouts are still unknown.


	34. Bow and Arrows

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Katniss, Gale, Johanna and Finnick get new weapons from Beetee and Katniss finaly gets reassured that President Coin will do everything in her power to get Peeta back as soon as it's possible.

Everyone is ecstatic with the propo. I would be ecstatic if Peeta was the one in it. The propo is a mixture of images from the Capitol's footage of me in 12 and our time in 7. To be honest I would join the fight if I saw it, but then I'm starting to hate President Snow with every fiber of my being.

Beetee managed to get the propo showing in every screen in all Districts but not the Capitol, still it's clear to all of us President Snow saw it when he addresses all Panem that evening.

"Angry children, that's who is against us. Children we provided for, we educated, we treated with dignity. We will not be bullied by them. We have the report of another great victory in District 7 where our Peacekeepeers killed the organizer of the plot that burned down the Justice Building. With fire he struck with fire he was put down, as will all that disturb the peace and order."

Provided for? Treated with dignity? When did the Capitol ever provided for the children in 12 that starved or treated with dignity the tributes put in an impossible situation, picked up by hovercrafts like animals when all that remained were their cold bodies? Was that dignity for the Capitol? The all speech revolted be.

"Not hungry anymore."

"You have to eat, Katniss."

"You can have it all, Gale. I just lost my appetite."

"Not eating won't help with anything."

He's right it won't, if it's going to do anything is make me weaker. I pull the fork into my mouth, the food is tasteless, even more so than usual. Our following silence is broken by something beeping from Gale's wrist.

"What's that?"

"A comunicuff" he looks at it reading the message.

That's a high rank soldier item how come Gale has one?

"I'm needed in Command. Have to go."

I watch him go, dropping the tray before exiting the room, his familiar figure... but no, there's something else. I know something is different I just can't figure out what... as I watch him blend into the crowd of District 13 soldiers leaving the room I am stunned, this is not the Gale I knew, not anymore. He's a soldier in District 13 army, barely nothing remains from District 12 Gale.

 

My mind is reeling, Peeta's is lost somewhere out of reach, Gale is lost in the sea of District 13 soldier and I'm alone, I'm all alone. Thankfully it's expert weapon class all afternoon, after so many years of practice the bow and arrow are like an extension to my own body. After some adjusting to the used up bow from weapons class I manage to be almost at my best, which is still much better than any of my fellow students and manage to pull trough the class without getting notice. Or so I thought.

"Very good, Soldier Everdeen."

I'm surprise it's Boggs and not my teacher congratulating me. As he didn't tell me to stop I pull another arrow sending it flying to join the one I've thrown before.

"Follow me, Soldier."

Inside the elevator I lose track of the levels we go down, the popping in my ears send warning I'm getting too close to deep mine level and I feel the wave of panic starting to rise. I focus on a point in front of me, imagining I'm on the meadow which is hardened by the elevator down movement. I'm not relieved by the sudden stop, we are too deep.

I follow Boggs trough corridors, identical twins to all the other corridors in all the levels I know. The door itself looks exactly the same as any other until we walk in to face two security checks, one after the other, what ever they keep here is meant to stay under lock and key, that much I can tell.

"Welcome"

I remember the man that greats us, Beetee, a Victor turned Technical Wiz or is it the other way around?

"Catnip."

"Hi Gale. Beetee."

Beetee doesn't seem to notice my acknowledgement, he just keeps on talking about what we are all down here for. Gale looks at me worried, he can tell I'm struggling from being trapped so deep down.

"After the situation in 7 I was asked to developed special weapons for some people that can be needed on the propos front. Namely you two, Johanna and Finnick. Now...take a look in here, Katniss."

I step closer to the table were a case is set. Inside it I see a simple bow but something tells me Beetee doesn't do simple. I feel the arch under my finger tips.

"Say something."

"Like what?"

I feel a strange vibration coming from the bow.

"What's that?"

"That is the bow reacting to your voice. It can only be used by you, Katniss. To turn it off you just have to say Goodnight"

The bow is still vibrating like it's calling for me.

"Goodnight?"

The vibration stops and all goes suddenly quiet. I take it out and try to send an arrow to one of the four targets set in the opposite wall, the string doesn't move.

"That's awesome." Gale is impressed.

"I would call it amazing." the moment I start talking the string does my bidding and the arrow accurately sets right on target.

Beetee leaves me to shoot another arrow and turns to Gale.

"Now, Gale. I know you are less classic than Katniss. So I designed this for you."

"Wow."

Gale pulls a strange looking crossbow out of another case. It automatically sets the arrow in position setting the string and it's enhanced for better accuracy. I fully enjoy the happy look on Gale's face, receiving gifts was a pretty unusual thing for any of us and I looks like a child with a wonderful and much desired gift. His arrow lands in the target right beside mine.

"Now for both of you. Sheath..." I take mine and Beetee takes Gale's "Right side, yellow, fire; left side, red, explosive; center, no color, normal."

I'm curious about how much of an explosion can a simple tip of an arrow get.

"No testing of yellows or reds in here. Believe me when I tell you they are enough for your needs."

That doesn't really answer my question but I don't think President Coin would like a report about how I blew up a part of 13 weapons facility. She would probably leave Peeta to rot... and then maybe not, maybe without me she would go get him faster. The idea comes and sets in but this is not the time nor the place to take it into consideration as Beetee delivers us back to Boggs.

"I will leave you two to Boggs. Johanna and Finnick are on their way over to test their new weapons."

"When they are ready send them here."

"Will do, Boggs."

"As for you two, you have an hour for practice. I will be evaluating speed and accuracy."

Sounded simple enough but I knew Boggs a bit better now so I knew he would find some twist.

"On your left..."

All of the hour we were shooting under his directions. At one point I couldn't even see the target center anymore, on both targets, as the amount of arrows made it impossible.

"That's enough. Soldier Hawthorne, Soldier Everdeen, you may return to your schedules. Soldier Odair, Soldier Mason, welcome to your hour of training."

I turn to face Johanna's wicked half smile as she pulls Beetee's version of an ax to her shoulder. Finnick is right by her side standing tall against a strong looking trident but his smile to me is a gentle one.

We set our weapons back in their cases and, with one last look at Johanna's ax, now being weaved against an exact replica of a Peacekeeper, I join Gale as he walks out.

"So glad I'm not the one facing that ax."

"Well don't know what's worse Johanna's ax or Finnick's trident."

An image of a sweet beautiful child weaving a trident and killing all the remaining tributes comes to mind. I was very young still the image stuck for the shock that was seeing and angel behaving like the Devil himself.

"Very glad they are both on our side, Catnip."

That's just it I know why Finnick is here with us and fighting, Johanna's motives are a mystery to me.

 

I eat dinner alone as the ever present comunicuff as requested Gale again and it's past my mother and sister usual dinner time. On my lonely life I rarely had to eat alone and when I did I had the birds and the animals in the woods to give me the illusion of company, this time I'm alone with only my thoughts for company and at it's moment they scream one final resolution. If it takes me to be out of the equation on the Rebel front for President Coin to get Peeta I will have to change my ways accordingly.

"Hi Sweetheart"

"Haymitch? What's the matter?"

He never, ever, sat with me before.

"Like you new bow?"

I smile.

"It's amazing."

"Good. Tomorrow you will use it."

I set my fork back on the plate looking at him, waiting for him to explain.

"It's another propo. Things are better, much better but they need to keep it going, they need someone to keep the Rebels believing it is possible."

"Well then they should get Peeta."

"Everyone is expecting Beetee cracks the communications in the Capitol. When he does Plutarch is very hopeful he will be able to reach his net in there and find out where Peeta is."

Even if I love my new bow I would rather have Beetee focused on getting trough the Capitol defenses than creating it.

"Maybe she shouldn't ask him to develop new weapons and allow him to keep working just on that."

"After 7 we all understood you couldn't be unarmed in there, Katniss. I want Peeta back as mu... okay, almost as much as you do but there's something you tend to forget I have to keep you safe because he would want me to keep you safe, and he would kill me if I failed to do that. Please try to remember that."

What I remember is my promise to Peeta that I would keep myself safe but, as the world is falling apart, I don't know how to keep myself safe anymore, I just know what I have to do to keep him safe.

"I do remember what Peeta want's, Haymitch, but at this moment I must focus on what Peeta needs, and what he needs is to be safe and out of the Capitol the furthest away from President Snow as possible. If to get that I must risk my own life so be it."

"Katniss, what is going on inside that head of yours?"

"The Rebellion needs someone to rally the troops, that someone is not me, Haymitch, it's Peeta. I'm good with a bow and arrows, I terrible with words."

"The last propo as shown otherwise."

"That's exactly it, Haymitch. I will not take Peeta's place. I will not do a new propo without Peeta being rescued."

"Katniss, President Coin signed a written agreement. I have it, Finnick has it. It's impossible to send a team to search the all Capitol, we need to know where he is. You must see that."

"I do, Haymitch. Believe me I do, still I'm terrified she won't do it."

"She will, Katniss."

He sounds so sure.

"How are you so sure she won't just rip the paper to shreds?"

Haymitch smiles widely.

"Because she doesn't like you, Katniss. She doesn't want you making propos. She doesn't like when people recognize you, identify you as the symbol of the Rebellion. She doesn't like who she can't control and she understood she won't be able to control you right from the moment she met you. She's going to get Peeta because she want's you off the air, forgotten by everyone. She thinks Peeta will do her bidding. It will be too late when she finds out the truth."

I smile. Never in my life the fact someone didn't like me gave me this much pleasure. President Coin was as unhappy as I was about me doing the propos that was the best news I got since the day I found out Peeta loved me. She would fight to get Peeta as fast as she could condemning me to oblivion, unaware oblivion was the exact place where I want to be provided Peeta is right up there shinning as he should.

"Where are we going tomorrow?"

"You are not going to like it there, Katniss."

I don't care, not anymore.


	35. Girl on fire

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> New propo, new hovercraft down and Katniss is more then ever the face of the Rebellion.

No I didn't like it here, how could I.

"Our wounded are many as you can see." Commander Paylor shows a resilience and determination that I was more than willing to respect. I felt awkward in this outfit and shinny new bow surrounded by so many in need of so little things that the expense with my attire could provide for.

"Unlike you none of us are soldiers. We do what we can but you are mere civilians."

"I'm not a soldier, Commander." Paylor turns, measuring me, my outfit, my bow, it all screams a professional position I know I do not hold "I'm a hunter."

"And a very good one from what I saw."

"The best." it's Gale that answers her.

She politely dismisses Gale with a slight nod and keeps talking to me.

“So you understand how we struggle.” 

“No, I don't. I'm amazed of what you are able to do. You endure all this and still keep fighting.” 

She smiles. 

“You would do the same in 12.” 

I glimpse at Gale and find confirmation for my thoughts in his sadness, no we wouldn't. 12 was a small District, the population too scared and too scarce for any of us to entertain the thought of actively taking part of a Rebellion. Typically we would be the last district to join the fight, not that any of the other districts would care as we bared no importance. 

Paylor turns away walking us into what was once some kind of factory.

"From the buildings still standing we set our medical resources in here."

But its not wounded I see it's dead.

Entering the hospital we cross corridors and rooms of dead bodies, not pilled up, out of respect but close to it due to the lack of space. The rooms and corridors with the living are almost the exact same. Bodies almost pilled up due to the lack of space, the only difference is the moans of pain, a scream here and there. Doctors and nurses struggle to focus on the living with chances of salvation. Prim should be here she would be useful where I am so powerless. 

“I saw you shot down the hovercraft.” 

A little girl not older than Rue and giving us the same need to be protective, the same look of frailty her injures contradict, recognizes me. 

I walk up taking her hand. 

“It is you.” She reaches for my bow. I take it and give it to her. “Was it this the one?” 

“I used my father's bow that time.” 

“He needed it back?” 

“Something like that.” 

It was in 13 kept somewhere. Almost as unreachable as my father. 

“I want to learn to shoot like you.” 

I wanted her to play, to be the child I never got to be but looking at her wounds I knew that wasn't an option. 

“It's easy. Want to try?” 

With my help she extends the bowstring. 

“Its hard.” 

“You will get there with practice.” 

I conjure up a smile fighting the tears. 

More people are now paying attention to us.

"What's your name?" an old woman, a wound across her left cheek, addresses me "I don't recall if they told it or not I only remember the way you brought them down. You know I brought them down too?"

That explained the wound.

"Katniss. I'm Katniss Everdeen."

"Katniss" my name is echoed trough the Hospital.

"Were you defending your family?"

I recall Peeta's dad.

"I was trying."

"You didn't save them?"

"Not all. Not enough. Many families died that day, I couldn't save them."

I feel the tears fighting to run. The little girl hand tightens around mine.

"We can't save them all, Katniss, but the ones that survive will have a better life, a free life."

"That's why we all fight." the resolve in the old women's eyes reflects the one in all the faces looking at me.

I smile against my tears, engulfed in this general need to fight for a better life from people that are almost certain they won't be here to enjoy it. My smile finds others and the gloomy mood inside the Hospital turns to a hope riddle one. Its in this moment I understand what the Rebels want from me, its in this moment I understand its not in 13 that I'm going to do that.

 

Commander Paylor walks us back to our hovercraft when Gale expresses his worries.

"Commander keeping the wounded all in the same place... it's not wise."

I was thinking about the diseases that are easily spread but I know Gale is not worried about that. His a Soldier and a strategist he's thinking as the enemy would.

"We don't have a choice. Its this or leave them to die without help."

Gale is not at ease with this situation and with his worry comes mine.

"Think they will target the Hospital?" I whisper.

"I would if I were them." 

I turn back to the building.

"We are not going back Katniss. We got wonderful footage there already we have to move on." Cressida pulls me on.

Footage? What footage?

"What did you...."

I don't have time to finish the question as Boggs calls us to take cover. The Hovercrafts marked with the Capitol Seal speed above us. The bombs are almost on target they miss the Hospital by a few feet.

I run back. Haymitch is screaming in my ear ordering I turn back but the image of the small little girl haunts me. I hear footsteps behind me and I know it's Gale. I take stand some feet from the Hospital.

"They are coming in for another round." Gale steps beside me.

"The windows are shielded. Explosive to the weapon." I recall Darius intel from 12.

But they are three and we are only two.

I release my arrow on target but the effect is unexpected. This time there's no hiatus as the blast takes the weapon and the fire takes over the hovercraft making it tilt to my right and crash into the building in the front right of the Hospital.

Gale is as accurate. The pilot, probably more experienced, manages to not let the hovercraft tilt managing to keep it on the air enough to finish is run before crashing behind the Hospital. The building takes three direct hits and is already engulfed in flames when I turn to run inside.

"No." Haymitch's scream is supported by Gale's strong arms forcing me back to the safety of the building on the left.

"There's nothing we can do, Katniss. And there's another one coming."

The last hovercraft comes back, this time not to make a run, only to asset the damage, flying too high for our weapons to reach.

"Murders. Capitol murders. Children and wounded that's who they target, who they kill, the helpless." I feel my anger building up and for some reason Gale is not trying to calm me.

I walk out into the open, Gale isn't holding me anymore. I stop, looking at the Hospital and then the Hovercraft where the Capitol Seal shines in the orange light of the fire.

"They target our Hospitals, we target their soldiers and weapons. In the end we may all fall but we will bring them down with us."

"Turn to us when you say that, Katniss" it's Cressida and my tears aren't build out of sadness anymore but from anger.

"You may kill us, you may burn us all to the ground." I point to the Seal "Do you see that... fire is catching and if we burn you will burn with us."

 

I'm distraught, Haymitch and Gale are worried about me I can tell, but Plutarch is happy, the happiest I've ever seen as he watches Cressida's team footage.

"That is good material. Very good. You were wonderful, Katniss."

He doesn't even look at me as he says this he's so enticed by the footage.

My anger is gone and I'm spent. The silent tears that run down my face are for the little girl and the old woman and all the other faces I revisit in my mind.

By dinner time Plutarch shows the result of his work.

The faces in the Hospital, knowing what comes next. I avert my eyes, I don't want to see it.

"WOW." Gale surprise brings me back to the screen to see myself engulfed in the same flames that caught the Hospital issuing what it seems to be the new Rebel catch phrase.

"If we burn you will burn with us."

"This one is really going to help."

"And it only took a Hospital fulled of wounded." I take the tray and walk out followed by the wave of applause. Gale on my tale.

"Don't think like that. They would have bombed that Hospital anyway this way those people didn't die in vain."

Maybe Gale is right but still...

"Gale can you give me us a minute."

"Yeah sure." I watch Gale walking away before facing Haymitch. I know he's not happy with me counter acting his instructions on 8 so I'm surprise to find him happy.

"You were perfect, Sweetheart. The true face of the Rebellion. You know what they are calling you?"

I have no idea.

"Girl on fire... what you think? Cinna is already drawing you a new outfit."

"Hurray, exactly what the Rebellion needs, a new custom for me to wear."

Haymitch happiness drops in front of me.

"You are missing the point, Sweetheart. You are now the true face of the Rebellion."

"I don't want to be the face of the Rebellion. I want to go back to my home with Peeta. That's what I want, Haymitch, nothing else. And I can't shake the feelling I'm walking further and further away from that."

"You are not, Katniss. We will have Peeta back before we know it."

 


	36. You call me a Victor I call myself a whore

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Katniss propo hits every ones expectations. President Coin acts on her promise as Beetee manages to cut Capitol's communications, still they need to keep the viewers glued to the screen in other to cover up the operation. For that 13 counts on Finnick and on a very reluctant Katniss. But has Finnick opens his bag of secrets everyone forgets the motive for the broadcasting.

It's awkward to cross hallways and enter rooms as people now turn to smile at me. Suddenly everyone seems to know me, identify me with some kind of group I really didn't join. I don't smile back. I'm a fraud. Smiling back is acknowledging something I'm not. I fight for the ones I love, for the ones I see hurting and in need of help I don't fight for some unknown world where everyone is safe, a world I don't even believe it's possible to achieve.

Seeing myself on the screen is like seeing someone else, a vision of the person Plutarch seems to think I am. A fighter for a cause I don't know if I share, at this moment I fight for only one reason, a selfish reason, I know but a reason that takes all my thoughts, all my actions. Nevertheless I have to recognize something changed, for the first time, on 8, I felt there were other reasons to fight, for once I understood what was in play, why so many fight, why so many sacrificed themselves.

Haymitch was of no help, he was a pit of contradictions when we got back. He was mad at me for disobeying his orders to take cover; he was pleased with the success of the propo.

My image up there exceeded his expectations, in his grand scheme of things he thinks that's the best thing ever. I don't share his optimism,  like I once dreaded Claudius happiness I now dread Plutarch's, he's too happy with me and I fear what the master manipulator may convince the President to do or not do.

It's been two days when I'm surprised to read the word Prep on my arm. I join Cinna that welcomes me with a smile, I smile back, I've missed him.

"Our girl on fire. How are you doing?"

"Fine."

"You must be better than that. You've made quite an impression on everyone."

"I'm just a prop, Cinna."

He sits next to me.

"You have no idea do you? You are so much more, Katniss. For those people out there, to the ones fighting and suffering, you are hope personified."

"I barely have hope for myself, Cinna."

That seems to surprise him somewhat.

"You have a home, a family and friends that love you."

But the key to all hope isn't here. It may be just one thing but as essential as air.

"I see there is. You lost someone you loved in 12?"

I stay silent my eyes baring the need and want they often do when I'm with Haymitch.

"So sorry, Katniss."

I hear the door opening. Cinna stands up turning to the person entering the room.

"I'm almost done Cressida."

Cressida? I'm not ready for a new propo, not yet. I still have problems sleeping after the last one.

"It's just a small clip. Just you standing, no words."

She answers before I even ask, as Cinna helps me dress a new outfit.

He created a dark outfit that shimmers like fire.

"How do you like your new outfit?"

I much rather wear my father's jacket and hunting boots but I can't tell Cinna that.

"It's beautiful."

"I'm very glad you like it."

"It's going to glow perfectly with the flames." Cressida is already thinking about the propo.

I'm just glad she wasn't wrong, the shot is simple enough, I don't even understand why they need it until I see the remake of the propo from 8 by lunch time.

Now the fire is not only around me but in me as my all body catches fire picking up the flames from the Hovercraft.

"It's even better. Never saw you in that outfit before." Gale is impressed.

"It's new. Don't think I will wear it anymore."

"How come?"

"Flames are not the best to wear out there."

The comunicuff beeps calling both our attentions.

"You have to go." I offer.

"Yeah. Sorry, Katniss."

"It's okay. She's the President, we are all at her beck and call."

I get a strange look from Gale but he doesn't comment. 

I watch him drop his tray and leave. Since we arrive in 13 Gale as been cruising the future he never thought he would have, he was born for this. I just want to go back to 12, what's left of it, and live there, with Peeta. But Gale's different, he loves this life of strategies to kill and trap, he always did, and he's a master in it. I'm glad he had his talents recognized still I miss my friend, I miss our talks.

I'm still looking at the door when a familiar figure storms in. Prim's never runs except when there's a medical emergency, I can see she's struggling not to run. What's going on? And where's mom? They usually come eat together.

"Katniss."

"Prim. Where's mom?"

"Back at the Hospital. I just came here to eat something but I have to rush back."

"What's wrong?"

"Don't know. Just know we are all on alert and we all have to be at the Hospital. I guess they are expecting something major but I have no clue. Where's Gale?"

"He was called to Command or something."

"Just hope it has nothing to do with him."

"Sure it isn't."

Still I worry as I look around and find other people rushing food into their mouths and walking out the door with and unusual sense of urgency.

 

As many rush out Boggs comes in. He's not rushing but, as he steps closer to me, his formality puts me on alert.

"Soldier Everdeen, follow me."

I send a smile to Prim who is now even more on edge than before and follow Boggs dropping my tray on the way out.

"What's going on?"

He's silent which can only mean he's not authorize to update me.

It's not surprising when Boggs opens the Command door but finding President Coin there alone waiting for me is.

"You may sit."

I do as I'm told. An wait hopeful I get to know what made District 13 turn the emergency level up.

"You were present when Haymitch and Finnick made me promise to get Peeta and Annie out of the Capitol. That operation is now ongoing, Beetee found a way to control communications in the Capitol."

They are getting Peeta. He'll be safe, they will bring him back to 13. That is the only thing I register, the only thing I have to struggle not to react too. I didn't know what Haymitch thought I just knew I still didn't trust the woman sitting in front of me.

"We need something to entertain their crowds and, that way, keep control. Finnick is making a broadcast and Haymitch convinced us you could do another. I don't know what you can say that may interest the Capitol but Haymitch seems to think you will be able to pull it off."

I stay silent. I know what Haymitch thinks will keep all Panem glued to the TV but I'm not sharing any of it, at least not now, not with her.

"Can we count on you?"

"Just direct me where I should go."

I don't like the way she looks at me but I know the reason, she can tell I'm not opening up to her, that there's something I'm not telling her, that I don't trust her. It's true, I don't. I don't understand why she's doing all this. District 13 seems to be living fine all on it's own; why support a war against the Capitol? What's in it for her? The questions go through my head but they don't stick, in truth I don't much care I just want my family, my friends to survive and live a happy life.

"Haymitch is expecting you outside on ground level."

I nod.

"You're excused"

As I close the door behind me I feel faint, I'm not breathing, don't know since when. I take deep breaths, needing the oxygen. What's Haymitch plan? I thought he too didn't trust President Coin.

The elevator takes me to top level and I find Haymitch waiting for me.

"There you are."

He's happy.

"No, Haymitch."

"What? They told me you agreed?"

"I agreed to do the broadcast."

"We need something that keeps people watching, Katniss. Everyone is dieing to know."

"Not doing that. Not doing anything Snow can use against him."

"You're not."

Haymitch keeps moving his hands as despair takes over him. He has nothing he can tell me; to me the situation is still the same, for all I know Peeta can be at the mercy of President Snow, I'm not going to provide any leverage for him to hurt Peeta.

"We are still protecting him aren't we?"

He stops for a moment at my question.

"Yes, Sweetheart. We are."

He opens the door. It's dark outside but a small area in front of us is lit up and Cressida is organizing her team. Plutarch is talking to Finnick that looks beaten down and worried.

"Okay. Okay. Finnick will go first. That was the plan anyways. I'll give you a signal when we have Peeta. Is that okay?"

 

I turn my attention to Finnick as he follows Cressida's instructions on where to stand. We all wait for a beat until she calls

"Action."

"Hello, I'm Finnick Odair. I'm guessing you all remember me I survived the 65th Hunger Games. You all call me a Victor, some of you call me a Playboy; I call myself a whore, pimped out by your dear President Snow himself. What he doesn't know but I'm now going to share with you is, it's been years since I get any money out of it, I found a much valuable asset..." his voice turns to a whisper "Secrets. And if you like secrets, like I do, I think you better sit down and prepare your ears because now I'm emptying my treasure chest. I will start slow but will end up high, at the President himself, oh the secrets I have on him."

And he does. He starts by telling everyone Victors freedom is all but a sham Victor's male and female are used by the President as pawns in a game only he controls. Finnick had the looks and, as soon as he could, President Snow started to capitalize on that. The image hits me leaving me cold. Peeta. Can it be?

"Haymitch... could..."

"I don't know, Katniss. Not while he was with me."

I don't know any of the people he's talking about but Finnick goes through so many. Every secret is more awful than the other.

"Would he tell you?"

I cringe as Finnick finishes a particular sadistic account of something he had to endure. And I know Haymitch's answer before he even speaks it.

"Probably not."

Finnick goes on and on. By the way all Capitol refuges are reacting I'm sure all Panem is glued to their seats, especially the Capitol. No one is expecting him to stop talking but eventually he does and Cressida is so stunned she forgets to call Cut, it's Finnick himself that does that.

"Sorry. Sorry. It was perfect. Katniss?"

"Haymitch?"

"Still nothing, Sweetheart. I will signal you."

"Katniss you're up."

I walk to the exact same place where Finnick was.

"Ready?"

"Don't know. Never done this before."

"Talk about your life in 12; how you end up here."

"I don't know where to start."

"Let's try this way I ask questions and you elaborate on them."

That may help me to keep things interesting for the viewers.

"Okay."

"Good. Ready?"

"Ready"

"Action."

"Katniss everyone knows your face but no one really knows you. Tell me about you. How did you grow up in 12?"


	37. Home again

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Panem get's to know a bit more of Katniss. And finnaly everyone one finds out who is the Mockinjay.

I smile as I recall my chirldhood in 12.

"I was happy with my father. He took me to the woods, taught me everything I know... I felt loved and cared for."

"Wasn't it dangerouse to go to outside of 12?"

"Probably, but I was with my father he would protect me, from anything."

"Where's your father now?"

"He died when I was 11."

"What happen?"

"An accident in the mine. Many died that day."

"But the Capitol provided for you." In that moment I know people in the Capitol had no idea how we were treated in 12. She's so sure that's what happen I'm almost sad I'm going to disappoint her. 

"The Capitol gave us barely enough to survive for a week. Some days ago I too heard President Snow speech on how he provides for us in the Districts, that's not really what happens, at least not in 12. Children starve in 12, they die from hunger."

I monitor Cressida's reaction as I'm eyes hardly drift from her face, I think I notice a small shiner of tears but she holds on and I'm able to continue.

"The Capitol doesn't care for any of us. When my father died my mother lost herself in grief, my sister Prim was only 7, I was the only one left that was able to fight to have some food in my sister's belly, to keep her alive."

"But you were just 11. What did you do?"

"At first I sold what I could. Soon we had nothing anyone would want to buy so I resorted to sift through other people, richer people, garbage."

Cressida looks shocked as do some people from the Capitol and 13. Watching their reaction I rejoice, people are listening which is exactly the point. I smile faintly  at the success of the plan. It's the first time anyone talks about life in the Districts. Outside of 12, no one knew how we all struggled. People are surprised on how much was hidden from them. 

"It didn't last. There wasn't much to eat in garbage cans in 12. Even the richer amongst us struggled to get by. By that time I was weak almost a ghost, I felt life slipping away from me, only Prim kept me moving, functioning."

"But you made it..."

I recall Peeta and the bread. I hesitate for a second but only Haymitch seems to notice. He keeps silent so I move on, skipping the most important part, the way Peeta insured mine and Prim's survival.

"One day, knowing there was no other way to survive, I crossed the fence into the woods on my own, for the first time. I was terrified."

I'm a little girl again, crossing the fence to a new frightening world, filled with dangers and mysteries. 

"I remembered some of my father's hiding places. I found his bow and arrows but I mainly depended on gathering in the first days. My accuracy was shady at best."

I smile to myself recalling the first time I tried to shoot, missing the mark completely, it took me hours to retrieve that arrow.  

"Things changed when Gale found me one day."

"Tell us about Gale?"

"His father died in the same mine accident mine did but he's older than me, he learned more from his father than I did from mine. He could hunt with his bow, he's a genius with snares, and with him I ventured further into the woods."

"Still it was a very dangerous life for an 11 year old."

"Between that and starve..."

Cressida stays quiet.

"I managed to pull us through. Prim wasn't starving anymore I got some money by making trade with what I hunted."

"What about the Peacekeepeers? Didn't they catch you? Hunt you down?"

"The Peacekeepeers in 12 were almost starving themselves. Not even them got enough food."

"You mean..."

"Some of them were our best customers."

I omit the names as many may still be alive and could be punished.

"What about the Games?"

I feel an uncontrollable wave of hate building up. I'm not a hateful person but the Games are the reason for all my suffering, without them we would all be in 12 living our lives. All the years of Gale's ramblings come up with a vengeance.

"The Games? The yearly public murder of 23 children for entertainment?"

My words shock every Capitol refuge to total paleness, all District residents nod in agreement.

"It's not murder, Katniss. It's..."

I rein in my anger and my words come out cold, detached.

"Every year someone from the Capitol comes to 12, pulls two names out of bowls, takes two underfed children and droops them into an Arena where they have to kill or be killed, while others bet on their lives and laugh when they die."

"People don't..."

"Laugh? Maybe not all but... Have you ever seen the show? Claudius isn't happy unless there is some death to be reported. Gamemakers think of traps and means to kill the tributes in new and interesting ways just for public entertainment. President Snow sells the Games as a Panem uniting event, in 12 we just wish our name is not on the piece of paper that comes to Effie's hand and, if it is, we just wish death comes quickly and as painlessly as possible. We know we are dead the moment our name is read."

"But... 12 has Victors."

"There are no Victors, only survivors. They survive to live a life without freedom where President Snow uses them at his own whim."

I watch Cressida turn crimson and I know they are all recalling Finnick's account of his live as a Victor. I know I'm doing well by the way Finnick smiles at me.

My account is probably too much for Capitol people to take, and Cressida's next question takes me back slightly.

"You talked about Reaping day..."

"12's most dread day.My first year I just went through it in a haze, still coping with my father's death. By the second year I got through all the emotions, or so I thought. The painful expectation that it can be me, the relief it wasn't, the awareness Mary died so I, and all the other girls, could live for another year. From then on ,every year, I just wished it wasn't me and I learned to respect the ultimate sacrifice that allowed me to keep providing for my family for another year. Still this last year I found I had still to understand the full extent of the hell that are Reapings. Prim was eligible, being eligible myself I had even more chances to be Reaped as I would never allow her to go, I would volunteer, I would offer my own life to save hers; still seeing her pain her suffering, terrified of being Reaped was too much. I can take all the pain for myself but not the pain my loved ones endure, ever."

"You love your sister very much."

"She's my baby sister." I smile picturing the happy Prim that greeted me as I arrived our quarters the day before,  excited about training to be a doctor.

I notice Haymitch nod and smile. It's time to follow up on what I promised him. Cressida notices my slight change of posture and holds the next question.

"But the Hell didn't end there, not this year. I've never once considered what really could happen to the ones left behind. Being left behind powerless, seeing your loved one up there struggling against tributes, exposure, Gamemakers, not being able to help in anyway. To see Claudius ecstatic and know someone as died and it could have been him."

I see Cressida eyes open up wither as she begins to understand what I am saying.

"See him hunted, severely wounded, in pain, slipping away, and I couldn't get to him."

I'm holding my tears but I can't keep them from my words

"Being helpless wishing for more time, just a bit more time, please don't die, not yet, not ever. Feeling oneself getting closer to death while keeping on breathing and functioning." tears cloud my eyes but I'm able to keep them from falling.

A shadow crosses the light just before I feel his arms around me. I close my eyes and I'm home.


	38. Mockingjay (I)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peeta is back. Katniss faces her family and friend for the first time after they found how much she had concealed from them.

I don't hear Cressida calling cut I just hold him tight as tears run, finaly free, down my face. It's Peeta, it really is Peeta. I lose track of time. We both do for it's Haymitch that comes and break us up.

"Glad you're okay, Peeta. Still they are waiting for you at the Hospital."

"Hospital? Are you hurt?" I take in his face searching for any signs of pain or injury.

"Nothing major." I notice he doesn't smile, his eyes look colder than usual and they don't leave mine "I'll go there later, Haymitch."

"They are strick over here, Peeta..." With only one glimpse Peeta silences Haymitch. There's something troubling in the way Peeta is behaving and I don't know what.

"I'll take him there. Later." I wait for Haymitch to leave before focusing back on Peeta "What's wrong?"

I don't think he even heard my question as I feel his lips on mine more demanding than ever, I give all I can give fulled by the same need.

"I've missed you." He pulls me into his arms. "I thought I would never see you again."

"I'm here."

"When I saw the Capitol attack on 12 I thought... I thought..."

He pulls me away just enough to see my eyes.

"Why were you there? I thought we agreed you would keep yourself safe?"

"Your family... I had to at least try."

"They...?"

"Your mother didn't believe there was any danger; your father wouldn't leave her."

He drops his arms as tears fall down his face.

"I'm sorry, Peeta. I'm so sorry."

"My mother always believe the Capitol speeches. In a way she was as good as a Capitol citizen. I'm not surprise she decided not to believe they were coming to kill everyone."

"Still it was your family, I'm sorry I couldn't get them to safety."

He pulls me back into his arms.

"Not your fault."

But I can taste his tears in our kiss, this one a slow kiss that reachs to every fiber of my being.

"I love you."

"Love you too, Peeta."

"Never again pull a stunt like that I beg you. I thought you were dead. I only found out you were alive when I got here."

"You really were in the Capitol?"

"Yes, hidding in some sewdge system with Annie and some other people. It was hard to get in touch with the others. All sounds were a possible threat. I think I even shot Gale. I'm not sure but I think I did. Before I even processed his name and that they were friendly and not Peacekeepers."

"Now you are safe here in 13. With me." still I would have to check on Gale later.

I finaly get a smile only to erase it with a much needed kiss of my own.

"13..."

"Yes, District 13 still exists."

"It's District 12 that's turned to ruble."

There's no way to deny it, and it all happen after President Snow "welcoming" speech to Peeta.

"What happen?"

Peeta looks at me. I know him too well, his pondering the words.

"Everything. President Snow made that speech,  it was clear he wasn't happy. He had ordered me to apeace the Districts, I failed, miserably. Even in 1 and 2 there were people rebelling, fewer people and imediatly silenced by their own neighbours, but still... they existed. I entered the Capitol knowing the President would make me pay, he had promissed as much. I feared for my family and myself but not much else. Then there was the speech, by hearing it I understood the situation was much bigger and more serious than I thought and Snow had a plan to ended it. Being that I had failed by using words I was to be posted as mastermind to be dealt with for the Capitol rebels to watch and fear while my District was going to be posted as an example to the other Districts, to show what would happen to the ones who rebelled. I was powerless to stop Snow's plans for 12 and my own fate was already decided so when some hooded person came and pulled me into long, hardly lit corridors I just followed, sure I would die a painful public death. I was shocked to see it was Portia under the hood, even more shocked to find she was a Rebel and was leading me to safety."

"And here you are... safe. Must thank Portia."

"Unfortunately she didn't make it. We struggled, Katniss, it was like I was back at the Arena. It took us sometime to find a safe place."

Has I reach for his face my hand brases his ribs and I see him cringe in pain.

"You're hurt."

"It's nothing."

It isn't nothing, he's still in pain. Even if he tries to hide it I can see it in his eyes.

"Come on, I'll walk you to the Hospital."

"Stay with me, Katniss."

"I will until you want me too. I promise."

Doctors are waiting for him but I only feel comfortable when Prim enters the room. She sends me an odd look, I guess she already knows how much I've been hidding from her.

"Mom want's to talk to you."

Great.

"Okay." I don't budge, I keep firmly at Peeta's side.

"She asked for you to go to her as soon as possible."

"Yeah, I get it." she can wait, Peeta can't.

"Go, Katniss. It's your mother. I'll be fine. Prim will take care of me. She won't leave me. Will you?"

"I won't, I promise. Now please, Katniss, go."

What choice do I have. I leave them both and go find my mother.

She's keeping busy organizing a medicine cabinet.

"Hi, Mom."

She glimpses at me. She's mad, I can tell. I couldn't care less.

"How long as this been going on?"

"By this you mean Peeta and me? Since Reaping day."

She turns to me.

"You are too young, Katniss."

"By age... maybe. But its been several years since I'm the adult in the house."

She pales.

"It was a dark period of my life. You don't seem to let it go, ever."

"We could all be dead if it wasn't for me being the adult."

She turns red.

"But I know what worries you. He loves me, I love him, that's it. We know what we can and can't do."

I see her relief as she turns back to the medicine cabinet.

"In a way I'm happy you are in love, Katniss. Now you understand how it feels."

"Yes, I do. Still, after all that happen, I never once stoped putting food in our table. And believe me when I tell you I think it would have hurt less if Peeta died in the Bloodbath."

The amount of pain she now knows I endured in silence overwels her.

"Katniss... we could have helped."

"No, Mom. Only Peeta could, that, at least, I think you can understand."

And I know she does when tears start to find their path down her face.

"I have to go back."

I walk away back to Peeta when I hear a familiar voice trough the door at my right.

"No. I'm not going to stay in here. I'm fine."

Knowing Prim is with Peeta, I decide to make another stop and help the nurse.

"Hey. How are you doing?"

I glimpse at the nurse's back as she takes the opportunity to run out of the room.

"It's nothing, Katniss."

The immobilized arm tells me otherwise.

"It's not nothing you got shot, Gale."

"It just brased me. How's Peeta?"

"He's fine... Left him with Prim."

We stay silent, I don't know how much he knows and how much I need to tell him.

"I saw it, Katniss. Just in case you are wondering."

"Couldn't tell anyone, Gale."

"In 12, I get it, Katniss, you couldn't for your safety as well as his but... we're here in 13 for weeks, that's what I don't understand."

"Things are diferent between us Gale, ever since we got here."

"I know that. At first I though it was the boy you liked hadn't made it, I knew you liked someone in 12, but somehow it didn't fit. Then I thought it was because we weren't alone together anymore but we were, plenty of times, and still things were off. I don't understand, Katniss."

I look at the bedside table where the comunicuff rests.

"You were born for this, Gale, I understand that and I love you are being able to thrive in this new life. I'm happy for you that the President trusts you."

"You think I would have told her?"

"Wouldn't you?"

"No. Your my friend, that will never change, ever."

"Your a soldier, a good one. As you're friend I would never jeopardize your happiness, Gale. And believe me she would force it out of you."

He sighs.

"I know."

And I know she tried.

"But I wouldn't have told her even if I knew, Katniss."

I smile at my best friend reassured, he means what he's saying,  I know him enough to know.

"Thank you."

"Glad that's straighten out. Now you better go check on Peeta. By the way, does he have any idea where he's gotten himself into?"

I smile wickedly back at him.

"He has time."

"That sounds like fun for me to watch."

I offer him a sour look but he just burst out laughing.


	39. Mockingjay (II)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Katniss faces Johanna and Prim about her cover up. Haymitch comes to check on them both and confirms Katniss's fear regarding Plutarch plans for new propos.

I walk the corridor too focus on Peeta's room door to notice anything else until I feel a pinch in my arm.

"Auch." I turn to face Johanna devious smile "That hurt."

"It was suppose to. Who would have guess a innocent little thing like you could hide so much."

I laugh.

"You don't know me very well do you?"

"I guess not... Mockingjay."

I'm not laughing anymore. I return to walk down the corridor, trying to get some distance from her but Johanna keeps pace with me waiting for my come back. I don't enable her, instead I turn the focus of the conversation to her.

"What are you doing here?"

"I live here."

I stop turning back to her.

"Here? Why?"

I remember too late that it's a silly question, as far as I can tell she's nuts, she belongs in the Hospital not in weapons class.

"Something about "She can't be alone." Yadah... Yadah... who understands doctors anyway."

I smile at her impression of the Doctor.

"Didn't know. I am sorry."

"Well, it's 13, they are controlling bastards."

People around turn to look at her, all from 13.

"Don't talk like that."

"Well they are." but she lowers her voice "So you're the Mockingjay."

"Some say I am."

"Peeta thinks you are."

"More Rue than Peeta."

"Yeah, sweet little Rue." Johanna looks genualy sadden "The moment I saw her I knew she would break my heart."

I'm at Peeta's door.

"Want to come in?"

"I'll leave you two lovebirds alone."

I watch her walk back entering a room at the end of the corridor. Even if she's not all together, something clearly is wrong with her, it's not right that she has to stay in the Hospital.

 

I enter the room to find Prim standing next to a sleeping Peeta.

"How is he?"

"Just two broken ribs. He's resting now."

I kiss his lips softly not wanting to disturb him.

"You really do love him don't you?"

"Yes, Prim. I do."

"Why, Katniss?"

I know she's not asking why I love Peeta.

"He wanted me safe."

"What does that even mean?"

"I take it you heard Finnick?"

Prim's face turns crimson and I know she did.

"President Snow would hurt me to get to him, Prim."

"You wouldn't let him."

I smile at her unwavering belief in me but I know my weaknesses.

"I would because they would get to you first, Prim."

From crimson to white the change is so fast I think Prim is going to faint.

"Still, you could have told me. I saw you were in pain, all trough the Games, we could all see it."

"By then I didn't know he loved me. By then I didn't know I loved him."

"But you did."

"Yes, I did." 

Its a relief to finally tell Prim. She smiles the beautiful smile she saves to the happiest moments and I'm appease that also between us everything is as it always was.

"I like him... for a brother in law."

Brother in law?

"Prim...I'm not ready for that."

She looks at Peeta still sleeping peacefully and then back at me.

"You better be, Katniss. We've talked a bit before he fell asleep. He blamed himself for the secret but I know you enough to know he bares no blame, you would have kept it a secret even if he didn't ask you to."

I want to rebute her statement but I can't.  I would have kept it to myself.

"I don't think, Peeta is expecting to be just a friend to you."

"That's because he's not, he never was."

"I'm glad. I always wanted a brother. Think maybe he will be back decorating cakes? I loved his art."

I'm still processing Prim calling Peeta her brother. The door opens sparing me from answering.

"Hi, Sweetheart."

Never saw Haymitch being so quiet.

"How's he doing?"

"Just two broken ribs. He's resting now." Prim repeats the information she has given me.

"Good. Your friend Gale looked fine too."

I sigh.

"He was shot, Haymitch. He's not fine he's getting there."

"Talking about Gale I need to go back to him. Now that you are back Peeta is well taken cared of." Prim leaves after showing where the button to call the nurses station is.

I pull a chair and sit holding Peeta's hand. I'm determined to stay until he wakes up. The writing in my arm reminds that I have a schedule to comply but I won't leave Peeta. They can make all the reports they want, I no longer need anything from President Coin.

To my surprise Haymitch also sits and looks at us both.

"What are you thinking?"

"I'm trying the impossible, Katniss, I'm trying to guess what Plutarch is going to do with you both."

I hoped he would let me go but as Haymitch sat there with a concern look on his face I knew he had found something that led him to believe otherwise.

"He won't let me go will he?"

"He finnaly has Peeta and his Mockingjay. The girl all Panem is curious to know. No, Katniss, I don't think he will. In fact I know he won't, still Coin wants you off the air so... maybe she will win."

Maybe she would but something told me she wouldn't. Still things will be diferent that much I am sure.


	40. Sleeping arrangements

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peeta and Gale are released from the Hospital. Katniss and Prim have accompanied them and all are having dinner together when accommodations are discussed. Katniss get's to be shocked, twice. In the thread of one of the shocks she makes the decision of leaving her mother and Prim's room.  
> Later Katniss find's Mr. Mellark's book and delivers it to Peeta.

"Let's see if I got this right. First thing in the morning you stuck your arm in a hole in the wall, are printed with a schedule and you have to abide by that schedule all day long."

"Exactly."

Me, Peeta, Gale and Prim are at the dinner hall. Peeta and Gale were just released from the Hospital and it's dinner time so we are eating while Gale instructs Peeta on 13 rules.

"And abide it to the tee, they are very strict." I had to make double exercises the day after I skipped class to stay with Peeta, and I have the feeling Soldier Grant was a bit lenient because she knew where I was.

"Sorry."

"Not your fault, Peeta."

"Still, it was because of me you were punished."

"She was lucky, Peeta, believe me." As if Gale had any experience with punishments; he never, ever failed to keep to his schedule.

"And where am I sleeping?" 

"Didn't they assign you your quarters before you left the Hospital?" Prim is surprised, I guess it's not regular procedure.

"Maybe we should go back and ask." I offer.

"No need. He's with me."

I'm sure my spoon would have fallen out of my hand if it hadn't been set on the plate. As it is I just look at Gale with a silent "What the Hell are you doing?" plastered on my face. He pretends not to notice I know he saw it.

"Peeta needed a place to stay I needed to be out of the kids room." the fact that he keeps eating in his calm stance makes my blood boil "They aren't kids anymore, not where size is concern."

The excuse sounds reasonable enough but I see his wicked smile to me and I know he's enjoying this.

"Your right, Gale. Me and Katniss can hardly fit together on the bed neither." Prim adds, to my shock.

"His that your way to tell me I should move out?" I see her embarrassment and I back up.

Looking at her intently it's like I'm seeing her for the first time, I'm confronted with a Prim I don't recognize and yet is so familiar. I do not see the little girl I expected to see but a young woman. A young woman I'm proud to call my sister but that is not a child anymore. For a moment I miss the child that jumped to my lap only a few years ago but a moment is enough to understand that time is gone and will never come back. She has grown up, she's becoming a woman, a future doctor, a all life lining up in front of her, a happy life. And I smile to myself proud of the woman that sits in front of me.

"No, I'm happy you are there with me, Katniss." she denies what I now recognize as a real necessity.

"No, Prim. You're right. Really should move out, you deserve to sleep on your own bed." and have your privacy.

"Well, as far as 13 Assignment Office is concern, your personal wishes aren't worth much, I doubt they would assign you a room to yourself. You have a shot if you find a roommate. I'm good, I already have one." there's that smirk again.

I'm boiling, my fingers aching to pinch him, which reminds me "I have someone that may accept."

"Who's the lunatic? May I ask?" Gale is so dead on it's scary.

"That's my business."

"You're right it is and who ever she is."

We all go back eating peacefully but I know Gale is still trying to figure out who am I asking to be my roommate. It's like I'm seeing his train of thought developing in front of me as he gets to the solution.

"Wait. You are not... Katniss, please tell me you are not going to move in with that lunatic?"

I look at him waiting for his burst, I know it's coming. I feel Peeta at my side moving closer, he too understands Gale is becoming upset, trouble is I don't know how Peeta himself is going to react to the news.

"She's not right, Katniss, she's at the Hospital for a reason."

"Wait the girl you are thinking about really is a lunatic?"

Peeta is no longer by my side, like Gale he's looking at me intently and for a moment I feel alone in the World.

"Oh Katniss. It will do her a lot of good if you do this." I should have known I could count on Prim, even if her priority isn't me she's still the only one backing me up.

"Thank you, Prim. She's a good person..." 

Gale won't have it.

"I saw her Games, Katniss, she was always a good person right until she started to use that ax."

Peeta's eyes light up but somehow I don't think that's to my advantage.

"Johanna Mason? That's who you are asking to live with you?"

"She's been here for a while but she's living at the Hospital. No one deserves to be living at the Hospital."

That breaks Peeta a little but not enough for him to accept my plan.

I notice the silent exchange between Peeta and Gale. If it wasn't for Prim, that is clearly backing me up, I would feel like an outsider instead of the common link between the two.

After a few moments of tense silence I guess they decided not to oppose to my decision as I feel Peeta back at my side.

"Your right, Katniss. No one deserves that, and she is a Victor. If you can deal with me I'm sure you can deal with her. Just please be careful."

What worries me isn't Johanna, not anymore, what worries me is Gale and Peeta suddenly becoming an united front with me on the opposite side.

 

It's a happy Johanna that joins me that same evening. I guess the doctors and nurses were also eager to see her go.

"I'm so glad to be out of the Hospital. Thank's, Katniss."

"We both needed a place to stay this seemed like the perfect solution."

"I thought you and Peeta..."

I smile at her awkwardness.

"My mother would never allow it. I'm too young by her standards."

"We are always too young to our mother's standards. Do it when you both feel it's right."

"It's not. Not yet anyways."

Johanna let's it drop which I appreciate.

"So, who's Peeta roommate? Please don't tell me it's Haymitch, the poor kid doesn't deserve it."

I laugh but I can't stop wondering who's Haymitch roommate.

"You will laugh and make fun."

"Really? Now you have to tell me."

She sits on her bed, eyes sparkling and I can't stop myself.

"Gale."

"Gale, like in your bodyguard Gale?"

She doesn't need confirmation to start laughing.

"This is going to be so much fun."

"Gale's words exactly."

"I'm going to like Gale."

A good first start as Johanna predisposition to like Gale may help him accept or at least tolerate her.

Johanna doesn't have personal belongings so her drawer is basically a medicine cabinet. I have some so she watches as I put all my personal belongings in my own drawer. There's not much and the biggest is one that doesn't belong here, Mr. Mellark's book.

"I have to see if Peeta's okay."

She just nods. I ignore her knowing smile as I put the book on the game bag and leave. His quarters are not far from mine which is a plus to have been reassigned at the same time as he was assigned. I knock, being pleased he's the one answering the door.

"Hi."

He steps out closing the door behind him before kissing me the way he used to.

"I don't think I did this as often as I should today."

I kiss him back.

"It's never enough."

The corridor isn't one of the most comfortable places but it will have to do for the moment.

"How are things going with Johanna?"

"She has a strange sense of humor and we but heads a lot but we are doing better than expected. You and Gale?"

"He's nice and he knows a lot about 13. I'm starting to understand why you trust him with your life."

I fiddle with the bag strap. Now that I'm here I don't know how to start.

"What's in the bag?"

Peeta is smiling like he's expecting a nice trick to come out and it breaks my heart.

"Katniss... everything alright? You got pale all of the sudden."

"Remember I got back into 12 to try and get your family to safety."

There's no more smile in Peeta's lips as his eyes turn somber.

"Yes I remember."

I take the book out. Peeta takes it carefully, like he's holding a precious snowflake.

"Your father asked me to give it to you."

There are no words only tears. I step to his side and hold him as he get's through the book recalling the hands that wrote it.


	41. I'm not a Rebel

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Katniss is distraught when she finds her way back to Command. President Coin meets Peeta and things turn where none one was think of them going.

I lose track on how much time we stay there. Peeta revisiting his dad's book me holding him tight even when his tears stop running.

"I'm glad to have this, Katniss." his voice almost a whisper.

"Your father was sure I would get it to you. Did he knew about us?"

Peeta smiles, a soft smile of someone recalling a precious memory.

"I didn't told him but... he knew. I'm sure he did."

"How?"

"Long story. For another evening."

He takes me into his arms the book safe between us. I'm back in 12 in our tree as we kiss like we did before. A lingering kiss, all sense of time lost, there's only us.

The lights flicking meaning takes a moment to sink in. They are shutting them down.

"See you tomorrow."

I kiss him, not wanting to go, not yet.

"Tomorrow, breakfast."

 

That night I sleep soundlessly and wake up feeling more rested than I ever been. In the morning both me and Johanna get our schedule.

"More classes and looky here" Johanna points to her arm "I guess the doc missed me, he booked 2 hours in the afternoon."

I smile at her mock happiness but hardly look at my own schedule. I no longer have the need to keep President Coin happy with me I don't care how many bad reports she gets.

I arrive at the eating hall and sit at our usual table. Peeta finds me a few minutes after.

"These corridors are all so alike."

We kiss returning to old habits.

"Good morning."

"Good morning. Slept well?"

"Anywhere is better than swedge and hospital."

"You have a point."

"What's your schedule?"

"Haven't look at it yet."

"Why not?"

"Have time. What's yours?"

"Command. Then classes. How are classes here?"

"Military, all the way."

"That's useful."

The screen comes to light for the morning showing of the Rebels propo. And suddenly there's my twin, all heroic and sparkling. No matter how many times I watch it I would never be able to reconcile the women up there on the screen with myself.

"That's amazing." Peeta's eyes don't even blink as he watches all of it and I'm embarrassed.

"And she said she sucked talking to people." Gale sits in front of Peeta.

"You look wonderful, Katniss. I would join the Rebellion after watching that." 

"I'm glad you two agree with each other."

"It's a male thing." Gale is trying to tick me off.

"So what is your schedule?" Peeta is back on my schedule, while I couldn't care less, I would most easily follow his instead... except Command. With Peeta here she no longer needs... I hope.

Left with no answer Peeta takes my arm and smiles.

"Perfect. An exact copy of mine."

"What?"

No, no, no, not Command. I have to read it with my own eyes and there it is clear as water.

"What's wrong?" Peeta voice is riddle with concern and I don't know how to explain how much I hate having to face her again.

"I was hoping never to go back to Command anymore."

Gale looks at me and there's no joking in his worried face, he has no idea why I'm being called. But I know it's Plutarch, he's planning something and somehow Coin couldn't resist it. I echo Gale's concern as a Gamemaker plan is never a good plan.

 

We walk in together to find the room filled with the almost the same people than when I arrived.

"Welcome, Peeta. I'm President Alma Coin, ruler of District 13. Let me introduce you to everyone, Katniss, Gale, Cinna and Haymitch you know; Plutarch was appointed Gamemaker for this year Hunger Games and is Leader of the Capitol Rebels, Finnick, Beetee and Johanna are former Victors. Annie, as you know, is still at the Hospital."

I turn to Finnick who looks so happy I'm instantly relieved.

"Peeta you know Katniss has been making what we call propos, rallying the rebels, giving them hope. She has done a wonderful job but we need someone that will be listen not only by our own but also by our enemy, everyone tells me that's you. We ask you to take that role."

Peeta is silent for a moment, he's making is own judgement on all the new faces, I can tell but whatever he decides he keeps to himself, his face expressionless.

"A speaker for the Rebellion?" It's the first time Coin hears Peeta's voice and it seem yo surprise her.

"In a word, yes."

"Don't know if I'm the ideal person for the job. I'm not a Rebel." Peeta’s answer is toCoin as his eyes don't leave hers. I'm the one seeing shock in everyone's faces, except Haymitch. It dawns on me he knows us too well.

"You agree on the way the Capitol treats the Districts? You support the Capitol and President Snow?" Finnick's voice is almost a whisper as he fights to control his anger.

It's a calm and in control Peeta that turns to Finnick.

"Definitely not. But that hardly makes me a Rebel."

Plutarch steps in to put some water on a flame that is threatening to grow beyond everyone's control.

"No it doesn't but it's an important first step. We need you, Peeta, people saw your struggle during the Games. You humanized the Tributes in a way even the Capitol viewers were shaken. Believe me, President Snow had a hard time reining in the aftermath of Rue's death. The way you showed respect for all, even for the ones, everyone knew you hated. You are a symbol of the future Panem we all want to emerge after all this."

"On top of how many bodies, Plutarch?" Peeta question is harsh and I see Finnickand others anger disappear in an instant. Its easy to talk Rebellion and winning and war when you don't think of the body count I'm glad Peeta didn't joined that pack.

"Unfortunately no war is without casualties. And regrettably District 12 was the first collective causality of this war, but many died before and after, Peeta. Unknown man and women that lost their lives for the hope of turning Panem into the true nation of peace and respect. A Panem we struggle to leave to our kids where they can thrive, and be happy, with no shadows haunting them."

I can see Peeta is shaken by Plutarch speech. I'm shaken by Plutarch speech. How many lives did he mourn? I never thought about it before but being a Rebel in the Capitol is probably a special kind of Hell, not much different from the Districts... except for the full plates.

"Casualties are exactly what we are aiming to reduce by having you speak to everyone. We are sure you may turn people, now lost, to our side. That will give us strength speeding our path to victory, hence minimizing human losses." President Coin speaks on strategy, and this one I know it's not Gale's, he doubts propos can have such a miraculous result.

"I saw Katniss propo on 8. What I saw was a District destroyed, almost burnt to the ground, not unlike 12 as I imagine it."

"You are wrong, Peeta." Haymitch can't hide the pain that riddles his words "8 looks nothing like 12. But it will if we let President Snow have it's way."

"Maybe you should see for yourself, Peeta." Plutarch ventures the proposal to Haymitch total opposition.

President Coin stays silent watching Peeta as he follows the discussion. I watch her, trying to assess her reactions but there is none until her eyes catch mine and I know she has a plan, a plan where I'm needed.

"Peeta and Katniss should both go and see what President Snow does to District that don't fight back."

She types something into the keyboard in front of her.

"Your schedules have been changed. Boggs is expecting you down at the dock. Soldier Hawthorne will accompany you."

"As will Cressida and her team." Plutarch adds looking at the President for an approval that easily comes with a slight nod.

I know my face shows all the horror I'm feelin inside for I'm freezing like ice took over my veins. She has all of us acting according to her plan and it's not a small obstacle like Peeta inicial resistance that is going to stop her. District 12 ruins will surely break it.

"You are dismissed."

We all get up and leave.

Peeta what have you done?


	42. District 12...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 12 is no more. The destruction and horror, once only known by Gale and Haymitch, is now shown to Katniss and Peeta.  
> 

I've never seen Gale so pale in my life. My body remains cold as my mind conjures up images of the horror I fear is waiting for us. On opposite Peeta looks determined even if not unaware.

"I want to see, Katniss. I need to see for it to become real."

It's real enough for me even without seeing it. I hear back the screams, feel the heat from the flames and I know how hard it's going to be. Still nothing had prepared me for what is in front of us when the hovercraft opens it's doors.

We are at the Meadow, amazingly, it's still green, which seems to enhance the black from the burnt pile of rubble that is now 12.

"There's still hope." I see Peeta's smile, it looks out of place with the scenario we are facing. For a moment I worry about his mental health but then I see what he see's. Our trees are still there,  unscathed, green against the blue unclouded sky. For a moment I forget the dreadful reality and I too smile.

"There's still hope." I agree taking Peeta's hand as we follow Gale into town.

I notice Gale keeps avoiding the path and I wonder why until I spot a shape laying in it just a step to my right; some memory of a book,  Prim's book from 13, comes to mind. I stop as I recognize the shape, it's human, it's someone's body, someone's remains now turned to bones.

I've seen many dead in my life, unfortunately my mother was a healer not a miracle worker and more often than we wished she couldn't save the wounded or sick people rushed into our house, but this is the first time I see remains where nothing is recognizable.

I stop as I become aware that whoever it was wasn't alone. Knowing what to look for I find more bodies, somewhere between the white from the bones, already tainted yellow, and the black from the ashes they are visible only when we pay enough attention.

"What's wrong?" Peeta hasn't seen it yet, he's reacting to my unexpected stop.

Gale stops too, seeing what I see.

"They didn't make it. They decided too late to follow us into the woods."

I feel Peeta tense up beside me.

"Who are they?"

The impossible question to answer. I was at the end of the group, with Darius, I never saw anyone behind me if I did I would have come back for them. If I had I could be right here laying next to them. As I face what could have been and return to reality as it presents itself, Gale answers.

"Don't know, Peeta. When I got back, before 13 came for us, they were already unrecognizable."

I know Cressida's team is filming our every reaction but in this moment I can't control my sorrow for these unidentifiable but surely known people.

"We should go." Gale's is on a mission, a hard one that he wants over as fast as possible.

The Square is unrecognizable. The Justice Building took a direct hit but that's not where we are all looking at. The bakery fell over itself and is now a pile of rubble only identifiable by the huge lump that was once the hoven.

Peeta is spared from the view of his family bodies laying out in the open but he knows they are there, as I do.

"I saw it burn." it's time for me to tell the all story, the cameras move from the destruction to me "When I left Mr. Mellark the hovercraft was already over 12, I could hear it. Your father rushed me to run, to escape, I did. The first bomb hit the mines. It was still far away but I knew the moment and where it hit for the flames were higher than expected."

"The coal and coal dust fed the fire." Gale knows the mine better than any of us "the saddest part is some people took refuge down there. Some of my coworkers were convinced they would be safe underground."

The thought crosses my mind adding to the terror fuelling the anxiety that riddles my next words.

"Gale, they can still be there."

Gale looks up to the mines, dark smoke still rising high in the sky.

"They are dead, Katniss. No one would survive that."

It's still burning after all this time, feeding on the coal, and I know Gale's reasoning is sound.

"The second bomb?" Peeta needs the details, he deserves the details.

"Still haunts my nightmares. It hit closer, don't really know where but I heard the screams. That one hit people..."

"I know where it hit." Gale starts walking, both me and Peeta follow. 

A building fell on to the street and we are forced to climb the rubble. I'm not ready for what I see from this high ground, my legs fail me and only Peeta manages to grab me before I fall to my knees.

"It hit the street, Katniss, and everyone in it. Many were scared about the woods, they had been frightened of the dangers in the woods since they were children so they ran to get out of Town using the only path they knew, a path they thought safe."

"Like fish in a barrel." Peeta's words as accurate as my arrows.

That is exactly it, and it chills me to the bone that both me and Gale used this kind of trap more than once before, with animals. By running from a known danger that were the woods people run to another danger this one much deadlier, the hovercraft and it's bombs. It was impossible to count how many lay there, reduced to charred bones but it wasn't hard to believe we had found the rest of 12's population.

Peeta's anger is building as is mine. I know this is exactly what President Coin wants but in this moment, with thousands of Snow's victims, my own neighbours, at my feet, between her and Snow I would pick her.

"I should have made them all follow me." Gale is almost in tears.

I feel is pain, mine just a pale shade of his but still I carry the same guilt. I too tried to make people run to the woods, I too failed to convince them follow me, they too are dead, buried under 12's ruins.

"You did what you could, Gale. I was here remember. I know. You warned everyone, you couldn't carry them all to the woods, especially against their will."

"Katniss is right, Gale. If it weren't for you Haymitch would be the only one left." he omits himself, I don't ask why I don't need to ask why, I know the answer, he wouldn't have survived as I wouldn't without him, we would, at the very best, be remains, not much different from the ones in front of us, only we would be breathing.

"Thank Darius, Peeta. Not me."

"Darius? Wasn't he a Peacekeeper?"

"He was the one that knew something was wrong, he was the one that warned me."

"I have an even bigger debt to him. Thanks to Darius I knew where to aim on the hovercraft." I add.

"I would much rather have you far away from that hovercraft, still, being you were there, I must thank Darius."

Cressida and her team are only now finding their way to the top of the rubble and I hear their outbursts of shock. I don't know what she expected but, like me and Peeta, it wasn't this.

"The Capitol did this?" She still can't believe it.

"Yes. I was here, still in 12, when the first bombs dropped." I answer.

"Was it the hovercraft you shot down, Katniss?"

"I believe so."

"Why didn't they run?"

"They were running, for safety, they thought. That's the perfection of the trap, they ran exactly where the enemy wanted them to. There was no one to stop them, to tell them it was a trap." the fact Gale recognizes the trap shows me he's haunted by it. People are not animals you need to kill to survive, people are human beings with friends, family.

"Why didn't they fight?"

"Here on 12 people wouldn't even know how to start a fight this big. They were facing a hovercraft, a force to which they were no match." the rest of Panem doesn't understand how helpless and small 12 really was, no matter how much Gale explains it.

"But you did, Katniss and you succeeded."

"I fought almost all my life, I was one in thousands. Gale is right, people in 12 didn't know how to fight, not really."

Peeta is still looking at the endless street of bodies but I know his mind is seeing others, the ones buried under the bakery's ruins.

"It was the third bomb that hit the bakery?"

I nod squeezing his hand. We start walking back to the Square. Where the third bomb hit.

"The target was probably the Justice Building. All the buildings around it, including the bakery, caught fire. There were no screams this time, except mine when the heat wave reached me. I turned to face the hovercraft targeting my position, I had no choice, fight or just die, I chose to fight."

"They intended to show their overwhelming power but, instead, caught their own demise on tape." Cressida add's.

"They tapped all of it?" Peeta is livid.

"They were showing the destruction of 12 live, Peeta. For all Panem to watch. I thought you knew. You tolds us you saw Katniss bring down the hovercraft." Cressida adds fire to Peeta’s burning anger.

"We were far from the screen, hidding, the only thing I could recognize was Katniss. I would recognize her anywhere." His hand grips mine tighter  "I saw the hovercraft targeting her and she aiming at it. I just wanted her to run but I knew it was too late, even if she ran the bomb would catch her." and I was dead, to him I was lost forever, I pale at the pain he must have felt  "Only after I got to 13 I knew she shot it down, that she had survived."

"Wait... Peeta, you thought Katniss was dead?"

"When I got to 13 someone, don't know who, told me to go to Haymitch. I knew what he wanted to tell me; Haymitch was the only one that knew about us, he was the only one that understood I needed to know she was no more. At first I thought about shying away from the news, I knew it already hearing it from Haymitch only meant more pain, but then I just refused to postpone the inevitable. When I got to the door I heard you..." he's speaking only to me now "... it was like the all world suddenly got back to me. I was dead, Katniss, the breathing and eating were the only thing giving the illusion I was alive. That's why I never even stopped to wait for the cameras to stop rolling, I had to touch you, to make sure I wasn't dreaming, that you really were there."

"I was, I am and I always will be."

Peeta kisses me, a soft short kiss that leaves me wanting more but this is not the place.

"Peeta did your family knew?" Cressida repeats my question from the night before, I already know the answer. 

"About Katniss? No. Except..."

"Except?"

"When I was in the Arena I told Rue how I fell in love with Katniss."

"Not all people saw it, Peeta. Can you tell it again?"

"I was just a small kid and we were on music class." Peeta turns to me "You remember when we had music in school?"

"I do. I left those classes when my father died."

"It was before that, much before." he turns back to Cressida "The teacher asked if someone knew the Meadow song, and her hand just shot up into the air surprising us all. Even back then Katniss was not the most outward person in class so I guess the teacher didn't even doubt she would sing it perfectly. She didn't disappoint and my heart just swelled beyond anything I thought possible. With that feeling, so overwhelming, so big to such a small body, I got home that day and my father immediately knew something was up. I was just a child and I loved and trusted my father more than anyone so I told him and he helped me understand how good it was, how so many got through life without ever feeling what I felt, how lucky I was to have found it so soon."

"So you're father knew?"

"I never told him we were together but... I think he knew, I think the moment Katniss run in through the door that night he understood. I find solace in thinking he did know I had manage to attain the happiness he had once lost."

And suddenly I'm terribly saddened by Mr. Mellark's life. He loved my mother but he lost her when she fell in love with my father. It dawns on me my happiness is based on his unhappiness, if he had been happy neither me nor Peeta would be here. The thought makes me feel for Mr. Mellark, a man I owe so much, a man I can't thank anymore, a man that loved his son more than anything; and that much I can do, I can and I do love his son for me and also for him.

"We are losing light." Messala warns.

"Katniss can you sing for us?"

I sing the Meadow song. And as the mockingjays go silent I know I'm truly my father's daughter and Peeta's Mockingjay. 


	43. Peeta's insecurities come to light

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Back to 13 Katniss find she's not alone on her mistrust of Coin. Peeta and Katniss talk about Gale.

I spend the all trip back to 13 silent in Peeta's arms. No one's in the mood for talking. Against what is usual even Cressida and her team don't review their footage. They don't need to watch the tape, their minds are filled enough with terrifying images.

The pilot's voice informing we are arriving startles me. Suddenly the hovercraft is stuffed and I just want to walk out, the door can't open fast enough.

It's the face of a very concern Haymitch that welcomes us. A look at my face is answer enough for his impending question.

"Peeta..."

I hear a beep, a silent exchange between us and Gale's gone. Coin want's an update. What will Gale tell her?

"That can't happen again. If there is anyway I can help prevent that from happening again I will do it."

Haymitch concern grows. I'm not surprised, I knew Peeta would decide this way, after seeing what we've seen I didn't expect anything else, nevertheless it bothers me he's falling into President Coin hands this way. 

 

Haymitch leaves us alone at the dining table rushing away with some lame excuse. Haymitch life in 13 is a mystery to me, he's not attending classes that much I know and he's not drinking, 13 doesn't allow licor, still he keeps busy with some unfathomable business.

"Wonder what Haymitch does all day."

"He works with Plutarch."

"What?"

"Not his favorite task. But at least he gets to know their plans for us and even change them a little... sometimes."

Haymitch and Plutarch? That's unexpected. I recall their argument in Command and detect some things I had miss like the open line of communication between them, the easiness around the all conversation, and Peeta information fits.

"I would never have guessed."

Peeta takes my hand.

"He still has our back, Katniss, he always did."

"I know."

"But something is not right. What is it Katniss?"

"I worry about Coin. I don't know what is her plan, Peeta, and it worries me that I can't even phantom what's her endgame."

"What? You don't think she's supporting the Rebellion for the kindness of her heart?" he's mocking me playfully.

"I'm not part of the majority. Big surprise."

I smile openly but Peeta doesn't join me, his playful mood erased.

"You are not alone, Katniss."

Knowing him I figured as much.

Peeta sets is fork on the plate like its stinging him.

"Can we get out of here?"

He needs to talk freely. So do I.

"Sure."

The question is to where. 13 doesn't have a place without use, or void, where we could be together and alone. The best we manage to find is a maintenance corridor.

"It's no Meadow but..." Peeta sits pulling me into his arms.

"It will have to do."

I hold him tight, the beating of his heart a soothing lullaby.

"I'm inclined to not trust her fully, Katniss, still, she's all we got."

I know she is. We are all in her hands, if she pulls out, and with her District 13, all the Districts will be doomed and who knows what she would do to 12's refuges. 

"She doesn't like me..."

From the lack of comment or reaction I know Peeta has picked up that much.

"... and I don't trust her. Neither does Haymitch... I think."

"He doesn't. Even Gale questions her true motives."

"Gale?"

"It surprises you?"

In truth no, it doesn't, when I think of Gale from 12. That Gale recognized a trap from a mile away. But I thought that Gale was lost.

"A bit."

"Don't let the 13 look fool you, Katniss. As far as I can tell he's still your hunting partner."

I think I hear an odd tinge in his tone and I look up to see him look down to the main corridor.

"Hey. Friend and hunting partner that's what he always was."

Peeta’s eyes are back on me.

"But he wanted to be more, Katniss. I could tell."

And Peeta kept it to himself.

"You never mentioned anything."

"We hardly had any time together as it was, besides he would protect you when I couldn't."

"Still if it bothered you you should have told me."

"Would you stop going out and meet him?"

I take sometime to process what he's asking. Peeta and Gale are separate parts in my life, I need them both.

"No. I would never do that, he's my friend."

"So we would just fight."

"It would depend as, I'm guessing, it will now."

"Now it's different we are talking about before. It would depend on what?"

"How sure you were about my love for you."

He looks puzzled for a moment then his eyes lose focus and I know he's not really here.

"As sure as anyone that just had a long life dream suddenly come true. Hoping it is true, dreading it's just another night dream that will be gone when you wake up."

Before I can tell him it was all real Peeta starts to pour out his heart.

"I loved you since I was a little boy, Katniss, but I never could even get close, ever. After your father died things got even harder I watch you turn into a fortress, no one dared getting close, you shadowed yourself from everyone, except Gale. He was the only one that you allowed in. You hunted, you spent all your free time with him. Everyone knew. I was just a stranger, an outsider. I've given you the bread, yes I did and I would have done it again no matter now much my mother beat me up, but that came to nothing, I was still the same stranger, the same outsider."

I wanted to tell him he was wrong. That he wasn't and stranger but in truth that wasn't completely right I never made him feel any different, I've never once set him aside from everyone else even if in my heart I knew he was.

"My name coming out from the bowl was a shock. The dreadfulness of it took sometime to set. The devastation in my father's eyes hurt me more than all the tears my mother shed. I knew I couldn't break down, I knew I was dead and it didn't really matter, not to me, but I would die being me, being Peeta Mellark, the baker's son from 12, not the killer or desperate little whining kid from 12; but my father contained sadness broke me, Katniss. In that moment inside the room at the Justice Building I was exactly what I didn't want to be a whining little kid from 12, with no hope left."

Peeta smiles softly and I know he's recalling my visit.

"You storming in was as unbelievable as if someone just walked in to tell me there was a mistake and I wasn't Reaped. You mumbled something about thanking me. I recalled the bread, the only moment I felt we had connected, even if just for a few seconds. To be honest, looking back, I didn't understand why you were there but the fact you were was enough, and you believed in me, you were the only one that gave me hope, you were the only one that could give me hope. Still, until I hold you, until I touched you I thought you were just a dream, and illusion created by my mind that would fade away in an instant. But you weren't and in that moment, with you in my arms it all felt right, the world was worth living in. The fact I was walking to my death looked, suddenly, less definitive."

Peeta takes my hand playing with my fingers, his arms no longer around me. He's coming up to the hardest part of his journey back to me, a part he doesn't want me involved in, but I'm already involved, always was, so I pull myself closer to him.

"Haymitch was mad at you and by extension at me. When I began showing my strength he saw the potential you yourself had vouch for and then things got better. I was worried with Lily, she was so out of it, so helpless, Haymitch didn't give her the same attention as he did me so I did, in his turn, until one day he told me straight. It was hard to hear there was no way I could save us both, but Haymitch just told me what I already knew, to save myself I couldn't fight for her, we both had to fend for ourselves on the Arena at least at first, after a day or two, if we were both still alive maybe we could do it but not at first, at first it was everyone for themselves. I've seen enough games to know what Haymitch was telling me, the fact he wasn't happy about it made me accept it better. By then Haymitch had asked me about you, he had finally got over the bath you gave him and was curious on how the District hunter and baker's son fitted in. Fact was I didn't know. It dawn on me that you were in fact an illusion, you didn't told me you love me or even cared for me. With distance I came to see our meeting more clearly, you came in to thank me for the bread, you were crying probably because I was going to die, there was nothing more to it."

But there was, there was so much more to it, I just didn't know it then.

"As weird as it may seem the fact you visit Haymitch and give him that bath and threat was the only thing that could indicate your cared about me. Still, between caring and loving there's a big difference. My last night was hell, the world wasn't as bright anymore, not without the hope of running back into your welcoming arms, still hope is a hard thing to kill and some of it still remain. Enough for me to keep fighting and I needed all of it when I lost Rue."

He turns to me smiling all shadows lifted.

"When I got back my eyes searched for you franticly, and there you were, right where you always kept yourself in the Square, far away from the Town's people deep inside Seam's. I knew it was your usual place, right beside Gale, only Gale was missing that day. You were looking at me but something was off, must say I panic a little bit, my panic confirmed when you left in a haste taking the path to the Meadow. Something was wrong, so very wrong, and you were alone. It was the first time I wished for Gale to be there next to you, he would ask, he would know what was wrong, he would make you feel better when I couldn't. As it was I struggled to get after you, Haymitch helped me. And I came to find you crying, I didn't know why, it's been so much time I was away I had no idea why you were crying. My plan was just to make sure you knew you weren't alone that I was there but you hold me and your crying was even more copious even if I could perceive relief and happiness in it. It took me a moment to understand I was the reason you were crying. Like when I was a boy my heart swell making it hard to breath, but this time I knew the one capable of making it better was right there in my arms. I hold you as tight as I could, a dream come true never to let go."

I feel his arms back around me pulling me even closer.

"Then there was the banquet, the fact you and Gale were sitting together rub me a little but the knowledge it was my arms that had hold you that afternoon made the all thing less worrying than Haymitch telling you to keep away. I didn't sleep that night, unsure if you would fade away out of my grasp forever. But you were there in the dawn, you always were there in the dawn, with me. Gale kept you during the days, as far as anyone was concerned he was still the only one in your life. I tried to reason that it was a good thing he would never let anyone hurt you. Still heart and reason don't follow the same paths and you took your time telling me you loved me."

I recall back to those days trying to remember.

"Love isn't something I wished for myself." in fact I dreaded it.

Peeta nods and smiles "I picked up on that later on. Still Gale had his own dreams, Katniss. And, from where I stood the fact he would provide for you and care for you when, as Haymitch informed me after the games, I would probably be unable to, made me swallow my jealousy and keep my mouth shut."

I don't know what Peeta was expecting but I feel the anger rising inside me.

"Let me get this straight. After all you went trough; all you suffer; how long you loved me; you would accept Gale "taking" me because I would be safer that way? And I'm skipping the big small detail that Gale "taking" me isn't his or your decision but mine and mine alone."

"You're angry."

The understatement of the year.

"You do recall how Finnick was used? How every Victor was turned into Capitol slave? I would rather have you with Gale than with me if I became that, Katniss."

"This is going to turn up being our first fight, Peeta. You do know that don't you?"

"It's dawning on me at every tick of the clock."

"Do we really want to fight about things dead and gone? They are dead and gone aren't they? You do know I love you, that I would never, ever, be more than a friend and hunting partner to Gale, and that I would never ever leave you not even if Snow tries to turn you into a Capitol slave?"

Peeta hesitates a beat.

"Yes."

I rest my head back on his shoulder, my lips on his neck.

"Good. Even after all that pain going to you on that Reaping day still is the best decision in my life."

"And giving you that bread is still the best decision in mine."

"I love you, Peeta Mellark, baker's son from 12. And you were never a whining little kid from 12."

I sense is smile as my anger fades away.

"I love you, Katniss Everdeen."


	44. 12's propo

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Without warning the images from 12 show up as the morning propo. Survivors from 12, like Prim, are shocked and in tears.  
> Katniss is upset with the way they aired the propo without giving her time to warn the Survivors, especially her sister Prim. Her relationship with Coin takes a more definitive turn.  
> Unaware of Coin reaction to Katniss Peeta accepts being the voice of the Rebellion only demanding respect for 12's survivors.

Seeing Command printed on my arm once again isn't much of a surprise, after our return from 12 I was expecting it.

I watch Peeta, waiting at our table, sure the same “9 a.m. – Command” is printed on his arm. I just want to sit on his lap and stay there,  kissing him, making us both forget the dreaded order, but I can't, not here. I take his face between my hands and kiss him relishing in his lips, pouring all my love, all my need of him in it.

“Good morning... I'm inclined not to ask but...”

“I love you. I always will.”

He smiles

“Love you too. Forever and always.”

Too late I notice Gale, Prim and Johanna have joined us. I'm not sure if I should offer my apologies or not, I decide not, I don't regret one bit, in fact I would do it all over again.

“So is all our merry bunch going to Command at 9?” Johanna always to the point.

Gale's look confirms Johanna suspicion.

“Not just me then. That's good. I hate that place, better to have some allies in there.”

The screen comes to light and I brace myself to face my twin again, but it's not my twin it's me and what we see shocks us to the core.

Me, Peeta and Gale watch the street of dead bodies that we left behind in 12. On off my voice tells where the bombs hit as the images of a destroyed 12 show for all Panem to watch.

I glimpse at Prim, she only suspected the horror that was 12 after the attack, now there it is, on the screen, for all to see.

“Prim...”

She doesn't look at me, she can't look away from the images. Burned buildings turned coal black against white bones.

“Prim...” it's Gale that calls her this time, and he's successful where I wasn't.

“His it really like that?” Prim asks us both.

I look at Gale and I see his hesitation.

“Yes. That's the worst part of what we saw.”

I see her tears and Gale's concern but I can't lie to her.

“Thank you, Katniss. Thank you for telling me the truth.” she turns to Gale “Now I know. It would have been better if I've known it before.”

To my shock Prim grabs her tray and walks away in tears.

“Prim.” Gale calls her but it's no use.

I watch her frail figure disappearing into the corridor. Other eyes, in tears, turn to look at us, all 12's survivors, all not quite surprise but still in shock to watch it up there. Their neighbours, their friends, their family remains, exposed, turned into a propo.

"They should have warn us before airing it."

Peeta isn't as upset as I am but he's close, too close.

“Don't think the thought ever crossed the Gamemaker mind. What would you say if we just skip the all Command part of our schedule.”

I'm inclined to agree with Johanna and skip it all together.

“No. We should go.” Peeta won't have it.

“And we should hurry or we'll be late.” Gale takes his tray taking the lead.

 

We four sit in Command listening to Plutarch report on the last airings.

“The reports are good, very good. People reacted with understanding anger to what happen to 12, Katniss account added to the impact. Peeta presence by her side and his reaction to the ruins of the bakery made people emotional.”

I glimpse at Peeta as he turns pale white adding to the image of Prim's tears.

“You shouldn't have done that. Not before giving us the chance to talk to 12's survivors” I interrupt Plutarch report making everyone look at me.

“Not your decision to make, Soldier Everdeen.”

And her decisions are not to be questioned, what words don't say the eyes do.

“With all due respect, not a very good one” Peeta's colors are back and some 

I feel Coin eyes on me as Plutarch answers Peeta.

“I do understand how you feel, still, people need to see what Snow is capable of. Besides, 12's sacrifice can't be forgotten.”

“It won't be forgotten, ever, Plutarch. The survivors and its ruins would never let it.”

“With the propos now aired all Panem will remember.”

“Plutarch, please proceed with the report.” Coin ends the conversation her cold look still on me, the one that dared question her decision so openly.

“That was it, Madam President.”

“Peeta, we make you the same request we did before. You now have a better knowledge of what we need your help to prevent.”

“I'll do it. Provided all District 12 survivors are given the respect they are due.”

“A condition I'm fully willing to uphold. District 12 survivors are being treated like 13 citizens and reports tell me they are doing generally well. As I'm sure Soldier Everdeen may confirm.”

By her tone immediately I know I'm forever free from coming back to Command but somehow that doesn't really seem to be a good thing.

 

After Command, classes are like heaven. Things are going well, the teachers like my silent posture, they think it's a good characteristic for a soldier, follow orders no questions asked, little do they know I'm ache to get to the point where I can make my own decisions on how to shoot, where to shoot, where to stand.Like in class back in 12 I know what teachers expect of me and I deliver, the only plus being here I'm learning something everyday. Not today, though today we are outside on the running course. 30 laps leave me breathless and the order to stop is a blessing.

"Formation."

We all stand in formation.

“This is torture.” Johanna is still struggling to breath and doesn't even try to stand up.

“Soldier Mason.”

“What?”

“Formation.”

“Let me breath first.”

“What?”

“LET ME BREATH FIRST.”

I start at her scream but Soldier Grant doesn't even flinch.

“You look pretty well to me, Soldier. Fit to do 10 more laps.”

This time Johanna stands, in shock.

“NOW.”

We all stand in formation watching Johanna do the 10 laps, I can see she's cursing hard.

“Attention”

Johanna barely has time to joins us.

“Obstacle course.”

Great, the pain of my existence. Johanna makes well though I guess she just needs to have a target.

I'm beat when I'm finally meet up with Peeta.

“You look tired.”

“I am. How was your classes?”

“You were right it's very different from 12. All strategies and military rules.”

“And running, and obstacle courses.”

I hear is soft laugh.

“I'm not there yet.”

“Lucky you.”

I think I fall asleep in his arms, I don't quite remember anything until Peeta's lips touch mine waking me up.

“You better go to bed, Katniss.”

“I'm sorry, Peeta. I'm so very tired.”

“Come one I'll walk you to your room.”

I guess he does as the next morning I wake up, fully dress, on top of the bed. Johanna is still asleep, I let her as it's still early morning even for 13. I check my schedule to find only classes, all day, no more Command.


	45. Soldier Everdeen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Coin's plan to make Katniss less relevant begins to show.

I follow my schedule but my mind is far away on the Command room. This time only Peeta was called up.

"You should go with me, Katniss. She has to acknowledge we are a team."

"Doesn't work that way, Peeta. If Katniss wasn't asked she won't be allowed in. It's as simple as that." Gale is increasingly taking the role of Peeta's compass on 13 ways. At first I was reluctant about it but after Peeta and I talked things all seemed to fit in the right place.

"They really are strict aren't they?"

"The Command room is the most secret of rooms to them and the talks in there are high level of security."

In a military point of view, and that was the only view in 13, it made sense.

"Gale will be there, Peeta. Maybe even Haymitch."

"I know I will not be alone. It's not that, Katniss."

He feared something else but I couldn't understand what and I couldn't ask, there was no time.

 

The teacher talks and talks but I can't focus no matter how hard I try. I ache for my bow and arrows they would help me focus elsewhere and not what is happening to Peeta inside that Command room.

"Soldiers Everdeen and Mason, your schedule has been changed." a strict looking soldier I've never seen before has walked in unnoticed.

We both jump at the summon and follow him. In my mind I'm walking to Command, to Peeta, but he takes us through another path. I remember Peeta's impression from a few days back, the corridors are all alike, I have no idea where I am when the man stops directing us to the door to our right. Inside we find Boggs waiting for us with Finnick by his side.

It's a Boggs so completely different from what I know that I'm taken aback for a few moments.

With a cold "Get ready." Boggs leaves us.

"Ready? Ready for what?" Johanna echoes my thoughts but we are left with no answer.

Looking around there's three locker doors with names, our names. Inside mine I find army issued gear and a machine gun. Not my favorite weapon but, provided I take into account the recoil, I can do a pretty nice job with it.

"I guess we are going to war." Finnick isn't all that happy.

"At last something more interesting than just hearing that sap talk." Johanna hates classes.

I gear up, handle the gun checking for some flaws or some differences to the ones we use in class, it's slightly heavier and has some kind of safety brake on the trigger, I release it the moment a door in front of us opens.

"You may go through when ready." a voice through a speaker orders us.

I see Finnick and Johanna getting ready and stepping on to the door, I'm the last to go trough, it closes loudly behind me.

We find ourselves transported to another world, a strange looking world with tall builds on each side of the street but not the kind of buildings I know, these are fancier, better looking materials. I recall my school books trying to pinpoint the District only it's not a District, must be the Capitol. Wherever we are it's clear we are on a test, simulating a mission of some kind, Finnick immediately takes point position and Johanna and me the sides.

"I'm Commander Giles." The holograph shows up in front of us "I'm your team leader. Our primary objective is to get to the end of the street unscathed and without killing any civilians.

As he finishes talking other holographs start showing up. Civilians running, and Peacekeepers trying to kill us.

We follow our Commander's orders always under heavy fire. I can see Johanna is losing it slightly but she's hanging on. Finnick is focused on the order at hand and shooting Peacekeepers, just like I am.

Step by step, taking cover at each one, we move up slowly while taking heavy fire.

I see the ax before Johanna but it's too late when I scream "Trap" she's already running for it. The moment she pulls it the bright orange light makes me and Finnick take cover. Her weapon of comfort was sitting there and she couldn't stop herself. As the light dies down a dark van shows up speeding fast. Against all odds all reasoning Commander Giles orders us to stand down. I have a clear shot at the van's motor but I wait, just like I waited in front of the Command door for President Coin to allow me in, this is a test and I must get through it. The van moves passed us and I lose target.

"Finnick... please help me, Finnick." a woman screams from inside the van and I see Finnick turn pale white his lips moving in a whisper "It's not her, it's not her."

"In coming hovercraft." Commander Giles screams "take cover."

The fire bombs paint the street orange again. This is not the best cover, I search for some place safer, but the Hospital to my left catches my eye. Whatever we do we mustn't go left.

"Building on the right, let's move out."

Avoiding the flames we both run to the designated building.

Out the window I have a better view from the Hospital on the other side of the street. I see people inside, one of them I would recognize anywhere, Prim's there. The hovercraft is coming in readying his weapons. I can see its weapon, I ache for my bow and arrows, still I take aim but it's too far away too high for me to hit. 

"Katniss?" Prim is at the Hospital door looking at me. I watch her smile as she recognizes me the moment the Hospital takes a direct hit that brings me and Finnick down to the ground once more

"It's not her... it's not her..." I mentally join Finnick mantra.

"Let's move out."

The building is burning but we manage to run through it exiting the last door, near the end of the street. We take cover there surveying the street for Peacekeepers and waiting for orders that don't come. The holographic Commander, far behind us, is burning up. We look at each other as the bullet's hit the top of the wall where we took cover.

Finnick signals for me to cover him. I get up shooting to the spot where I can see white but civilians keep crossing my line of fire, I feel the stab of pain in my arm but I keep on shooting while Finnick reaches the end of the street. He starts shooting at the exact same spot I am allowing me to join him. As I do the lighting changes and all the holographs disappear.

"That was close." Finnick falls in the ground next to me. I grab my arm that still hurts expecting to see blood.

"The pain is real, Soldier Everdeen, as it would be in the field, but no wound."

Boggs is hovering over us. We both get up standing in line.

"Your right hands."

I extend it under the machine Boggs holds. By the sting I now I've been printed with something. In my hand shines "451" exactly the same as in Finnick's hand.

"Congratulations you are now officially soldier's of District 13's army. I remind you your obedience is to be Panem and District 13. Your orders are to join your Unit. You have 30 minutes to be in the hovercraft."

"What about..." I start to ask about Johanna but I'm already talking to Boggs's back. 

"She didn't make it, Katniss. She must be back in class."

We get up and walk into the same locker room as before where we find our jumpsuits now with the Squad number.

 

30 minutes is not a lot of time and I search everywhere for Peeta without success. I'm getting increasingly panic about leaving without telling him, I entertain the thought of disobeying but I would be considered a deserter in a time of war; I would be locked away in some lower level of 13 never to see the light of day or Peeta for the rest of my life.

At this time of day everyone is following their schedules and I'm closed off from them except...

"Prim."

"Katniss, something wrong?"

She's right there is something wrong, I know there is but there's no time to understand what. Only time to acknowledge facts, I'm leaving to someplace I don't know where, to meet someone I don't know who, and I'm unable to get to anyone except her and mom.

"I'm leaving. I have..." I look up at the clock, how can the pointer move so fast? "... 7 minutes to get to the hovercraft. Please tell Peeta, I can't find him anywhere."

"451" Prim reads my Unit number "With this number I can try to track you."

"Prim, please."

"Don't worry I'll tell Peeta. I'm expecting Gale to come in and I'm sure he knows where Peeta is."

I look back at the clock again I hardly have time to make it.

"Have to go."

"Be safe, Katniss."

"I love you, Little Duck."

She answers me back but I'm already running out the door. I barely make it to the hovercraft in time.

I sit beside a absent minded Finnick. We are on the air for a while when I become aware the hovercraft is filled up. All faces I don't recognize.

"For a moment I thought you wouldn't come."

"I thought about it, then I reminded the punishment they reserve for deserters in times of war."

He nods then smiles.

"Glad you're here."

He's struggling even more than I am.

"Is it Annie?"

"Mostly but... I'm not keen on going to District 2."

District 2. Now I know our destination and like Finnick I'm not looking forward to go there. Home of Cato and Clove, the only District where rebels aren't gaining ground, the District with the highest number of casualties. And in that instant I know why I'm here, she wants me not only silent and isolated but dead.


	46. District 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Katniss and Finnick arrive District 2. Katniss finds a friend waiting there for them, Darius. Darius takes them to 451 and we meet the team members. Katniss and finnick are "introduced" to The Nut.

I keep close to Finnick as the hovercraft door opens and am happily surprise to find a smiling Darius waiting for us, the shining 451 on his jumpsuit fills me with relief. Another ally.

"Welcome to my home."

"Your home?"

"I'm from a small village here in District 2."

That explains his support to Cato during the Games.

"I thought all Peacekeepers were from the Capitol?"

"That's what you are suppose to believe, Katniss, in fact adult male in the Capitol don't much care to give 20 years to the Peacekeepers army they rather enjoy themselves. Can't say I blame them."

He walks with us through the maze of military tents.

"We're here."

There's not many people there but still Darius introduces us to the ones that are. Mitchell, and the Leeg twins.

"Our Commander, Jackson, and Homes are attending a meeting. You will met them later. For now your orders are to settle in and wait for orders, like the rest of us."

I put on the tent and organize my things before joining the others.

"What's the situation here in 2?"

Finnick can be showing off as a good soldier but I'm not totally convinced.

"Commander Lyme is in charge."

"Lyme?"

"She's one of our Victors."

"I know her." Finnick turns to me "Typical District 2 training and sturdiness but she has a heart underneath the hard shell."

Darius smiles "And exact characterization."

One of the Leeg's follows up on the update.

"The villages around District 2 city center are more or less controlled, we are now slowly taking control of the city the problem is that..."

She point to a mountain. At first there's not much to distinguish it from the ones I saw in school books except for the fact it's more or less isolated but as I take in small details I see not all features in its sides are natural some things are so perfect they can only be man made.

"We call it The Nut. Capitol's military main facility." It's Darius that offers the description "inside it's bigger than 13. All underground but also above ground. They have the protection of being underground and the advantage of being able to control their surroundings by being on higher ground. I was trained inside, spent months in there still I don't know not even a fifth of it."

Leeg continues her report.

"Everytime we try to go in they are ready and waiting for us. They see us coming as soon as we start walking."

The Nut has the advantage, higher ground, hovercrafts and supplies to wait it out for much longer than any propos can keep the Rebels going.

"District 13 has a new strategist, we are hopping Jackson brings us good news."

"I'm just hopping it's not another plan to invade striking head on. It's clear that doesn't work." her sister adds.

The moment they mention the new strategist I immediately know it's Gale. I look at the Nut and feel a chill, I know Gale, he's going to find a way, not only to "crack" the Nut but also to hurt the Capitol as much as he possibly can.

I see everyone standing up and I follow.

"As you were."

A woman, hard features, expedient, I can see she's use to being in command I identify as Jackson; a man young man by her side, I guess it's Homes. They both sit with us around the fire.

"Soldier Odair and Soldier Everdeen, I'm your squad commander. I'm Jackson. I take you have settled in." the tone is a strange combination of military strictness and welcoming.

"Yes, Mam."

"Good we should all go get some rest, we have a big day tomorrow." she doesn't offer details, I notice nobody asks.

"Any rotations?" Leeg 1 asks.

"Keep with the shifts as they are. Soldiers Odair and Everdeen will be with you two." she points to both Leeg's "Odair, 1 am; Everdeen, 3 am."

Three in the morning comes too fast. The fire is long extinguished. I sit checking the darkness to our right while Leeg keeps an eye to our left. I keep silent hearing the even collective breathing that seems to have taken over the field. I feel myself drifting into sleep and change my focus to the mountain.

Looking at it taking in every crevice. I manage to spot the hangar entrance, far up there, almost near the top, it's shape denounces it's purpose. If we pay enough attention, as I am, other smaller holes are visible along the side, some of them could easily open up and the occupants would be swarming out. The image of a gigantic wild dog nest comes to mine.

In 12 we avoided wild dogs, they are vicious, attack in packs and are wild to the extreme, they torn apart the victim eating every bit of it. Whenever Gale and I found a nest the only way to prevent them to attack us was to kill the all pack inside it, and Gale's strategy was a simple one, close all exits and all air supply to the nest the dogs would die inside without air, without any where to run. I shiver at the awareness, I know what Gale is going to do.

All sleep's gone, those are not wild dogs in there, it's people, human beings; but I'm too far from Gale to make him rethink, to make him consider.

"It's not bad you know." Leeg starts the conversation pulling me out of the landslide of nightmares that is pulling me under.

"What?"

"2. I thought it would be worse but the Rebels here made a good ground work, even if they were few and took heavy losses they were relentless and smart. Compared to what they told us about the first days of the fight this is like a stroll in the park."

Looking at the Nut I hardly think that could be the case, as things look bleep enough, but I know she must be tight things had to be a lot worse when the Rebellion started.

"Civilians support the Capitol more than they do the Rebels though."

"They were always protect and well feed. They never had to struggle like we did over in 12 and other Districts."

"I fail to understand them you know. How can someone forget they are slaves?"

"I understand them. It's hard to recognize you are a slave when your belly is full and you are happy."

"But other Districts knew exactly what they were and still there are some people that don't Rebel even there."

"They have families they need to protect."

I listen to her moving slightly. As my mind goes out to the ones I left behind in 13. I'm not all that worried with Prim and Mom they are safe in 13 but Peeta is another matter. He agreed to do the propos he's probably in some District somewhere, I just hope Gale is there protecting him, and Haymitch is there in his hear ensuring he keeps safe.

"That I do understand."

Our shift is at a close and I get back to sleep, but it's a haunted sleep, I'm back running corridor after corridor calling for Peeta, like I wanted to do in 13 and couldn't, but it's not 13 corridors, I'm running it's the mine corridors from 12; corridor after corridor in an never ending maze of black coal walls.


	47. Against all odds Peeta's Mockingjay

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The amount of killing gets to Katniss and Finnick's insight doesn't help.  
> The Rebels have a new task for Katniss and they send a friend, the bow and arrows Beetee made for her and a new suit especially made by Cinna.

"The plan is to attack the city center and stay away from the Nut."

It made no sense, no sense at all. They would storm out of the Nut and crush us to bits.

"We are assign to zone A5." Jackson pulls a map for us to get a clearer view. I try to focus on the zone we are targeting but my eyes keep wandering to the plan of the Nut right next to it.

"Let's move out."

All day we shoot to kill everyone in our path until there's no one left on the streets. The amount of killing is getting to me. It's not animals I'm shooting down, it's people with families, maybe even kids.

I'm beat physically and mentally after a few days of never ending shooting.

"You okay?"

Finnick comes to sit at my side.

"Not realy."

"It get's better."

"That's just it, I do not want it to get better. I want to be myself, sane enough to understand I'm shooting people, the only reason being they are Capitol supporters."

"That's not the reason, Katniss. The reason is they would kill you if they got to you first."

Somehow his reasoning isn't helping. The canned soup is not all that bad but it just tastes foul. I place the can on the ground beside me and find Finnick lost in some maze of his own, his eyes focused on something I can't see, until he speaks.

"How do you think their doing?"

And now I see it as clear as day. No Nut, no 2, just 13, and Peeta. So close it fills my heart so far it hurts.

"I only know how I am. Struggling not to run back, and barely scraping by without him."

"Yeah. I can't stop thinking about Annie. She needs me, Katniss, and I need her."

It pains me Finnick was involved in this when I know me and Peeta are the real target.

"If I knew what I know now I would have fight Johanna for that ax." Finnick sets its own can on the ground.

"You would have to make it through the test eventually, Finnick."

"But I would be with her now."

As we talk I think I see a familiar face in the multitude of faces that are the barracks. As he get's closer my doubts vanish. Before he even spots me I'm holding him tight. He holds me back, gently, as he always did.

"How is he?"

I remember too late I never even welcomed him, my need for news on Peeta too overwhelming.

"It's easier to say 13 is lucky he's not allowed to have a weapon."

"Hi, Gale. How..."

"Annie is... hanging on, Finnick. Prim tries to keep by her side at all times."

Finnick looks a bit relieved.

"Good. Prim is a soothing presence for Annie."

I want to ask more but I see Darius approaching and I know I can't, not now.

"Gale...so good to see you."

Gale's stunned but follows Darius lead and it's just like we are back at the Hoob.

"Darius...!?"

"Not even in 2 I get rid of this one." Darius points at me but he's smiling openly. "What are you doing here? Not joining the Squad from what I see."

"No." Gale looks intently at me "I've been called to help "crack" the Nut."

And I know that look. The trap is already up I just have to keep vigilant for the prey.

"Gale, there are civilians in there."

"They've made their decision they should face the consequences."

I know he's not talking only about the civilians inside the Nut and for a moment I'm frightened of how much can Gale do.

"Commander Lyme doesn't see it quite this way and that's why I'm here. I was order to come fetch you."

And he's not too happy about it. Not with the coming to fetch me part but whatever they are planning for me to enact.

I don't hear Jackson approaching from behind us until she speaks.

"That's right, Soldier, your orders are to go with Soldier Hawthorn to Command."

 

We walk to Command. Gale keeps his pace slow as I do.

"Tell me."

He knows I couldn't care less about The Nut or District 2 or even the Rebellion.

"Prim told me what happened and I told Peeta. You may imagine how that went, I almost had to restrain him not to go to Command right that moment. Instead I convinced him to talk to Haymitch. Haymitch knows the game we are in better than me."

Game... and we were just pawns.

"Haymitch was able to calm him. He's done one propo already."

"Didn't see it."

"It's aimed at the Capitol citizens. We are not sure if it's working or not inside the Capitol but it is working somewhat in the Districts where we find resistance. Everyone knows him and trusts him. He didn't like it though, not without you by his side and he made that pretty clear. I can see Plutarch is also aching to do a propo with Peeta and you together but..."

Gale as told enough for me to understand she won't allow it.

"I'm struggling myself, Katniss. Why are you here? There's so many Districts where you could be. Safer Districts, why here? Why 2?"

"You know why."

"Yeah. Still... to gruesome and Snow like for me to reconcile with the way she behaves."

"You know what I admired the most about you when I was a kid? The fact you could see things I couldn't, you analized and you could see how things would develop. Peeta assured me you were still that Gale. I was happy to find he was right, that Gale is still there."

"The old Gale could act on that, this one can't."

"Not alone. But then you are not alone."

"No. I'm not."

I finally see a hint of a smile. So I address the elephant in the room.

"The Nut, like a wild dog nest?"

The change of subject takes Gale unaware, erasing his smile.

"Yes."

"Those aren't dogs in there, Gale, they are human beings."

"That's why you are going to be there waiting for them on the only exit they will have left."

"Me? What can I do?"

"Be who you are, Katniss. You will be there to convince the ones running that they are not our enemies, President Snow is."

"That sounds like something Peeta would do perfectly."

"We tried but Coin didn't allow him to come."

We both know why, we would be together, far away from her control.

"I did brought your bow and arrows from Beetee and Cinna sent the custom. In fact he stressed more than once that he wanted me to make sure you look good in it."

"It's probably the flame one, you know, the one I told you was a bit dangerous to wear in the field."

"I remember. I hope not. You may call them civilians but they have guns and training, you would become a easy target glowing like that."

And the thought hits us both at the same time as we stand at Command door. Maybe that's what Coin wants.

 

"Enter"

Commander Lyme is a portentous woman I wouldn't even dare to defy. Unlike Coin I like her from the start, she's here for the rising of a new Panem, a better one; she knows people will die but she wants that number kept to a minimum. I understand all that as she explains what she needs from me.

"You will not be out in the open. You're image is going to be broadcast to the screens in the Square. This way you will get to more people and be heard even outside the Square."

She brings our attention to the big map on the table.

"We are leaving the train tunnel open. Civilians will run out, if they want to, but also some Peacekeepers trying to pass undetected. Around the Square we will have our Squad's. Just a precaution, I believe many of the ones that will leave would listen to you and join us."

"When?"

"The attack is starting in the next hour. Our main objective is to trap all the hovercrafts and weapons, then to trap the Peacekeepers."

As the meeting is over Gale show me the room where my props are.

"I'll be here."

"It won't take long. There's no Prep." my relief makes him smile.

I close the door, two boxes await on the table. One I know already from Beetee station but the other is new. Cinna... I open the box and the smile comes naturally as I find a small piece of paper on top of the dark suite.

"Hope you like it, Mockingjay."

Cinna found a way for me to show to everyone I'm still with Peeta, he's made the Mockingjay outfit. I wonder how much did Cinna understand about Coin maneuvers. But for now I can only get into the suit and marvel at the perfection of the feathers and the white spot under my arms.

I walk out filled with renewed hope, a hope that also fills Gale's eyes as he looks at me.

"Now you really are the Mockingjay."

Peeta's Mockingjay... forever and always.


	48. Cracking the Nut

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The attack on The Nut doesn't go as expected. Katniss get's hurt.

It’s with renewed strength I walk out of the room to meet Gale.

“A Mockingjay.” I see his smile “Nicely done, Cinna. Very nicely done.”

“He’s wonderful that’s for sure.”

“And clever.”

As we walk outside I can see people looking at me and my strange attire so unlike a 13 Soldier. To my surprise not all immediately relate me to a Mockingjay and Peeta but many do, I can tell for their eyes shimmer with recognition. I thank Cinna for his cleverness turning me from an unknown girl to someone most of Panem recognizes.

Outside, The Nut takes center stage, all eyes trained on it, the general feeling of expectation taking the air around us, make it heavy, harder to breath.

The hour passes and nothing happens.

“Something’s wrong.” Gale knows the plan better than I do “Wait here.”

I watch him exchange some words with a Soldier inside the Justice Building and walk back.

“Anything?”

“A few hovercrafts haven’t returned yet.”

The plan was to lock the hovercrafts, Capitol's main tactical advantage so far, inside The Nut.

“What if they don’t?”

“Let’s hope they will.”

But time goes by, expectation turning to anxiety and nothing happens, nothing moves. By now I spotted Finnick and Darius and the rest of 451, sitting behind a staircase, eyes trained on the sky or on The Nut. As daylight fades away I start to consider that by now even people inside The Nut may have notice something brewing outside, on the Square.

The distant sound of hovercrafts makes everyone take cover. It’s a relief when two hovercrafts fly inside and the harbor doors close behind them.

“They are closing for the night.” I note.

Gale looks surprise I know this. I smile. Gale wasn't here in 2 as long as I did.

“The Nut is pretty much the only attention catcher in 2. Spent many hours looking at it, enough to know their ways.”

"But there's still one more hovercraft out there, somewhere."

"Doesn't look like they are expecting it back."

"They could open the doors again."

"It's possible but I've never seen it happen before. Not after dark."

The sound of approaching hovercrafts is heard once more, but now it’s welcomed, almost cheered, its 13 hovercrafts, the lack of white on the wings confirms it. All the anxiety is replaced by the adrenalin of the upcoming attack.

It’s unsure if The Nut occupants understand 13 hovercrafts plan but they do try hard to shoot them down, all weapons aiming at them. I’m surprised to see even the harbor door open up again.

The first wage of bombs hits the top of the mountain making debris and dirt run like a river down the side of the mountain, covering every small entrance and some weapons. Powerless by the distance we watch as one hovercraft manages to flight past the now partially covered door, some debris hit's it leaving some dents clearly visible but still the hovercraft manages to fly away.

“Damn.”

“It’s just one, Gale. We can take it.”

We load our bows and wait but it doesn’t return, we see it disappearing into the distance, speeding for the Capitol, as 13 hovercrafts return to make another round.

The bombs are accurate and the falling debris effectively closes the harbor door completely sealing off all other hovercrafts inside. Even if the attack isn’t over yet we all can taste victory, as slowly all sound is resumed to 13 bombs hitting the mountain.

The attack ends, 13 hovercrafts flying away. The following silence comes as a shock; the feeling of expectation builds up inside me with a vengeance. All eyes are now on the train tunnel exit, but the only thing cutting it’s darkness is smoke.

The image, too similar to the ones I watched at 12, time and again, waiting for survivors that didn’t always came. Waiting for a survivor that remained beyond reach to all of us.

“Katniss… it’s not 12, it’s not the mines. The ones inside are there because they chose to be.”

“Not all, Gale. At least some are there because they need to feed their families just like my father, and yours."

"Those are the ones that were suppose to be running out through that tunnel but I don't see them, Katniss."

"Maybe they can't, Gale. I can only imagine the Hell inside those corridors right this moment but you know, Gale, you know how it is to be in there surrounded by darkness or fire, and the only thing you hear are screams."

I see Gale getting pale.

"They tried other strategies, Katniss. None of them worked."

"I know, Gale, I know. Still it pains me you were the one planning this one. You are a mine worker, Gale."

"Not anymore, Katniss, now I'm a Soldier. And we need to win this war, Katniss, Snow can't remain the all powerful President... not since what he did to 12."

"No he can't, but he's not in there, Gale."

"That would be something wouldn't it?"

"What?"

"If Snow was in there, hiding."

"He's too smart for that."

"One can dream." I know he was going to smile but the sound of a moving train puts us all on alert.

"Incoming" the scream from the top of the Justice building confirms something is coming even before we are able to see it and when we do it's clear I was right. Something is definitely very wrong inside The Nut. The train is almost a wreck and hardly moves. The moment it stops the doors open but only gun barrels are seen.

The lights go on focusing on the new arrivals. Behind the guns I spot frighten wounded people. It's clear they need help and I see the medical teams hesitating behind the Justice Building doors, the situation is as dangerous as it could get.

"An animal, any animal, wounded, is the most dangerous of all animals, Catnip."

I recall Gale lesson from a long time ago in 12 woods. That day a wounded deer had sent me flying to the ground before Gale finished the job my arrow had started. Man is by definition a dangerous animal, always, but the ones now taking position around the train are more so as they are wounded, have training and weapons.

"It's time, Mockingjay." Gale sends me a supportive smile.

My face up there on the screen, above the Square,  starts the survivors. My twin looks stunning up there as I look away from it and focus on the ones I'm here to appease. They may look like civilians but they act like soldiers. I see them reorganizing, their guns aiming the Rebel positions. How am I going to do this? The blood on their bodies, their wounds aren't helping.

"You are safe. No one will target you. Let your wounded come forward we have medical teams waiting for them." I can see kids faces on the windows, we all can.

"Don't think so. What I see is a killing field in the making." a man answers me his aim shifting to my chest. 

"No. There's no need for more killing."

"So the Victor says but that's not what I'm seeing here."

I take a moment to understand the Victor he's talking about is Peeta.

"Peeta tells you the truth. We are all Panem citizens, Panem needs us all."

I notice some hesitation in their ranks but it's not enough.

"Not the ones you buried alive in there."

I watch my twin slight shiver on the screen and fight to control myself.

"All are needed. We fight for a better Panem one where everyone can rule their lives, where everyone counts. Everyone."

"We always counted."

"I didn't, neither did anyone in 12."

"Don't compare District 2 to 12."

"You're right, they shouldn't be compared they are both needed equally."

I hear his snart,

"12 isn't needed. It was obliterated and nobody is missing it."

"I do. Like you would if you were from 12. Friends, neighbours, families, lost forever, and for what?"

My answer is silence, so I answer my own question.

"As an example. President Snow wants us all as slaves, that's what we were, but not anymore. I want to be able to chose my life, I want to be free to chose my life."

"So do I." a soft almost child like voice answers me and I watch as some weapons loosen in a few hands.

A small shadow crosses the line and enters the empty Square. It's a girl, must be about my age, her eyes blue as the Summer sky, her blond curls making me go back to the Tributes Parade and Glimmer. I walk down the Justice Building stairs to join her.

Someone grabs my arm. It's Gale. He doesn't want me to go but I must. I'm the target, I know, every weapon is on me, the Survivors from the Nut to kill, the Rebels to protect if needed. The girl isn't armed and we stand a feet from each other.

"I want to be able to chose. I don't want to be a Peacekeeper I want..."

I never hear what she wants as the sound of the bomb silences her. The blast hits the Square, debris falls everywhere, I'm deaf, I can't move, something is stopping me from moving. I check trying to release myself. It's the girl's body, it's over my legs, I have to move it to be able to crawl away. As I try to reach her I see the gunfire, the Rebels and the Survivors from the Nut still capable are all shooting at the hovercraft, the Capitol seal shining under the lights, it's not the same hovercraft that left the Nut after the attack it's too perfect, too shiny. I fight to sit up pulling the bow and a red arrow. It's not the best position to shoot but there's no time as the hovercraft prepares to drop another bomb.

As the arrow flies I know I'm too late. Another bomb hits sending debris all over the Square. It's the last memory I have before all goes dark. 


	49. Wounded Mockingjay

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Katniss is wounded after the attack. Peeta is upset with her but also proud.

I wake to pain, close to unbearable pain, on my chest. The world is filled with scream, screams of pain, screams of sorrow, names being called in desperation, and orders, firm, concise and definitely professional orders.

“Katniss... Katniss...”

I fight the pain to answer Gale's call.

“Over here. I'm okay.”

It takes him a few seconds to reach me. I feel lighter. He must have moved... I remember the girl and I feel the knot building in my throat. I manage to sit. Gale moved the girl carefully, anyone that looks at her would think she's just asleep, her beautiful curly blond hair still framing a soft peaceful face, an angel like image in a Hell like Square.

From sitting to standing, an impossible task.

“Don't move.”

“I'm okay, Gale. Just need some support to stand up.”

“Is that your way of asking for help? I'll help after a doctor checks you out.”

Why is he making it so damn hard?

“I'll rather get out of here and go to the Hospital.”

“That is not going to work, the Hospital is packed and the doctors are all here.”

One is near us dealing with what looks like a serious wound.

“They are busy.”

As he looks at the doctor I grab Gale's shoulder and pull myself up. It hurts more than expected, but the true shock is the Square. Everywhere there are wounded, dead and blood I want to run.

“Katniss?”

“I have to go. I have to leave... Now.”

Turning fast Gale grabs my arm just in time to stop my fall.

“Easy.”

He helps me reach the Justice Building and the room where the two boxes wait to receive the Mockingjay outfit and my bow.

“I'll go for a doctor or nurse.”

Gale's out the door before I tell him I don't want him to go, for some reason I don't feel safe being alone right now. The pain isn't subsiding, quite the opposite, it keeps building making my breathing harder.

Time eludes me, feels like Gale takes hours to get back, pain takes over my body in spite all my efforts. Awareness, understanding, hit's me, I'm not fine, something wrong, inside, invisible to all. Darkness threatens, lures me in, so appealing, so sweet, so inviting; no more pain, no more fear, no more...

“Peeta.”

I fight darkness as once Peeta did thinking of me. Gale's taking so long, too long. I should never had left... I need Peeta, I need to see him at least once before darkness takes what's now hers.

“Cat... KATNISS.”

I can hardly hear Gale's call. He's too late.

 

Light hits my closed eyes, feels so strong even if they are closed. No pain just sore, so soft it's nothing more than a fading reminder of it, recalling me of what passed. Slowly light turns bearable, still it's too bright when I open my eyes.

The white walls enhance the brightness. Siting up I can't feel the floor under my feet, the bed height confirms I'm on some kind of medical facility. I slide over touching the floor with my toes, the cold floor sending a shiver trough me. After the first shock, the coldness is welcoming, carefully I stand up, my legs are too wobbly, they are failing.

The flash of fear as the ground comes close recoils as something else blocks my fall, someone else.

“Isn't it enough that I'm condemn to watch you fall, dead, under hovercraft's fire?”

Arguing that I'm very much alive doesn't look like the right words neither is missed you and love you. Peeta is upset and deep in his eyes the remnants of pain are clear to me.

“The Rebels were protecting me. The hovercraft had flew away.”

“Not that one. And you were suppose to stay on the Justice Building's stares.”

“I had to go, Peeta. The girl...”

“The girl what? Needed you? I need you, Katniss. Did you even remembered that?”

“I was safe.”

“No one is safe in war, Katniss. You know that. I thought I lost you, Katniss. It was bad enough getting back after the first propo shooting and Gale telling me Coin sent you away. Seeing you fall under heavy hovercraft attack was...” Peeta waves his head “I don't even want to talk about it. And now... where did you think you're going?”

“Out of here.”

“You don't even know where here is.”

It's true, I don't.

“It doesn't matter anymore. You're here.”

My hands cradle his face. His concern wasn't eased by my answer.

“We're in 13, Katniss. You almost died... you did die, in fact, more than once.” What? “I asked you to be careful. Why, Katniss?”

“The girl... I thought, that, by having me going to her the survivors would trust me that they were safe... trust us not to harm them. But then...”

“I know what happen next.”

I've missed him, my kiss is demanding, reflecting an hunger I can't control. Peeta adds his own hunger making my all body shiver.

“When can we go out of here?”

Suddenly the both of us alone in the maintenance corridor is the only thought in my mind.

“We are stuck here for a while until the doctors say you can leave.”

“Can you stay?”

“I'm not asking.”

“What about...”

“You give her to much importance, Katniss. She knows I'm not going anywhere without you.”

“I did.”

“I know. Why are you so scared of her?”

“You, Prim, my mom, Gale, Gale's family, all others from 13. She can make all of us pay, Peeta.”

“She's not Snow, Katniss.”

“Maybe, but she wishes she was.”

“Don't think so.”

“She wants to rule Panem.”

“That she does. But I remember someone telling that we are fighting for a better Panem where all of us matter.” he's using my own words. “We aren't fighting just to change Panem's President we are fighting for much more.”

“Are you sure that person wasn't just... I don't know... trying to stop people from shooting at her?”

“Nah, my Mockingjay always speaks the truth and from the heart. That's one of the reasons I love her as much as I do.”

 


	50. Hospital stay and a few surprises

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Katniss is still at the Hospital. She meets Prim, spends her first night in Peeta's arms and wakes up to face her mother.

“When can I leave?”

The doctor is checking some papers I know  show him my evolution. I tried to glimpse at the figures but their meaning is lost to me, besides, what matters is I feel well enough to get up and leave.

“A few more days, Soldier, just a few more days.”

A few days too many in my opinion.

“Thank you Doctor.” Prim always the nice one.

The doctor leaves us alone.

“I would thank him if he had allowed me to leave.”

“It’s too soon for that, Katniss.”

“Can I at least get out of bed?”

Prim hesitates.

“Rather not.” She stops for a bit “I don’t think you are aware of how serious your injury was, Katniss. You died.” The shimmer of tears on her eyes brings on my own pain, I can't stand seeing her suffer.

“I’m alright now, Prim.”

But she’s lost in memories.

“We saw the attack on 2, we saw you fall. By then we didn’t know how you were but no news was good news and me and Annie were able to keep Peeta hopeful. But later Gale arrived. He was fighting to keep his tears from showing not wanting to add to Peeta’s pain, and mine, but we knew something was dreadfully wrong the moment we saw him. I never saw Peeta like that, he wasn’t angry, he wasn’t upset, it was like nothing else existed but you, he ceased to function beyond keeping himself here with you. And you were barely  holding on, Katniss. The doctors struggled to get you back, twice, and none of us could move Peeta from your side. Even President Coin tried but she couldn’t reach him, no one could, he was far from anyone reach, in the end they all given up from trying to get to him, they understood only you could do that, and the Rebellion needs him, Katniss, we are struggling in the Capitol. Communications there are totally in the hands of Snow as there’s no one on our side that will be heard… except Peeta.”

“So they want me back to have Peeta back.”

“Yes. I, on the other hand, want you back because your my sister and I love you.”

The smile comes so naturally. I've missed these small moments with Prim, we don't have much of them since we left 12.

“I love you too, Little Duck.”

She takes my hand.

“I want you out of here too but you are not well enough yet.”

The door opens to give way to Peeta. He’s smiling and, after all Prim told me, I’m happy he is.

“Are you trying to convince the doctors to release you?… again.”

“A girl can try.”

I feel his gentle kiss on my forehead as I grab his hand.

“Too soon.”

“So Prim tells me.”

I check his arm for a schedule that isn’t there.

“My schedule is filled with Hospital hours, just like yours. She has done her worst, Katniss, she can’t do much more to hurt me.”

I just hope and wish he's right..

“You’re not helping the Rebellion anymore?” Prim soft calm voice conceals something.

“We are killing each other, Prim. We are few already and we keep on killing each other.”

“It’s not going to stop just because you don’t help, Peeta. To end the killing we need to fight.”

Where did this Prim came from? Her professional stance, her sureness of the need to fight... And I know from where, she came from 13, this is not 12’s Prim always concern about everyone's survival, this is 13 Prim concern to have less casualties but adamant about the need of having some bodies dropping.

“Now, in this moment, my family takes precedence, Prim. Katniss needs me, I will be here. Future will tell what we decide to do, no one will decide for us, Prim, that I will not allow, not anymore.”

His last message is to me. He still recalls the order I got to leave, and the way I obeyed it.

“We will decide, when I’m released from here.”

Prim glimpses at her forearm.

“I have to go. We’ll talk later.”

Peeta waits until the door closes.

“She’s not the little nice girl I thought she was back in 12.”

“13 changed her somewhat.”

“It change a lot of us. Even you.”

“Because I left?”

“Because you are a Soldier, and you behaved like one.”

“Except when I didn’t.”

“Except when you didn't... unfortunately, at the exact moment when you should have. For now on I don’t care what each of our schedules say we will make our own.”

“I’ll be a deserter.”

“So will I… unless we aren’t.”

"You can't be a deserter..."

"Oh I forgot to tell you I'm officially Soldier Mellark."

"Since when?"

"A few days after you left. They wanted me to be ready before they send me for more dangerous Districts."

"Like where?"

"No idea. At first I hoped for 2 but then she objected, deciding you would do, there was no need for me to be there."

"How wrong was she."

"You did great, until..."

"Shh. Don't go back there, I'm here now."

The lights flicker three times.

"What's that?"

"They are sending all visitors away, it's time for you to rest."

Peeta stands and moves to kiss me goodnight.

"Don't go."

"They are right, you need your rest."

"I'll rest better with you here."

"Where..."

Pushing the bed covers I cut his question short.

"We'll make do."

In a moment my head is comfortably resting on his chest and, this time, I close my eyes knowing the beating of his heart and his warmth will help keep the nightmares at bay.

The next morning I wake up well rested to find Peeta in a blissful sleep. I keep myself from moving, he too needs his rest. Keeping this still I don't notice her until she speaks.

"Peeta's not allowed to stay here, Katniss."

"He's staying as long as I am."

"I don't like it."

"I'm not asking you to."

"I'm your mother."

"And I respect that. Still you made clear you rather I'm not with Peeta. Even if I made clear I won't be with no one else."

"And you show respect to me by taking him into your bed."

"I show respect to you by being your daughter and following my own heart, as you did... once."

She stays silent for a while.

"Your right. You are following your heart as I did, but there's a price to be paid, Katniss."

And she did pay it dearly. She comes closer.

"How are you feeling?"

"Well. Enough to want to get out of here."

"You always were a dreadful patient." she smiles "even as a small girl. You didn't like to be bed ridden, you missed the out doors."

"Still do." my lips echo her smile, her memories of better days.

"They will send you to war again, Katniss."

"If they do she won't be alone, Mrs Everdeen."

Didn't notice Peeta woke up.

"I'm glad, Peeta. Protect my girl. She never thinks of herself. I fear for her safety every time she's out there."

"I will."

With a smile to Peeta and me my mother walks out.

"You were too hard on her, Katniss."

"She doesn't want us to be together."

"Your mother wasn't expecting to come into your room, as she always does, and find me in your bed. Can you blame her to be shocked?"

"What do you mean always?"

"She comes here every day to check up on you. Usually I arrive when she's going out but sometimes we exchanged a few words."

"What did she told you?"

"Enough for me to know she loves you and wishes you the best in the World. In that we found common ground."

"So you and my mother are friends now?"

"I wouldn't put it in those terms, we have an understanding, about you."

"Don't know if I should be happy or terrified."

Peeta laughs and pulls me in for a kiss.


	51. Enemy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peeta and Katniss face Coin.

The boring days are behind me. For the first time having shinning writing on my forearm is almost a blessing. But just almost as the "10.00 Command" gives the writing a ominous meaning.

“I’ll be there with you, Katniss.”

But I know Peeta’s arm said differently, "10.00 Prep".

“I would much rather go to Prep.”

He smiles naughtily.

“You sure? Plutarch will love to have you there.”

Not a pleasant perspective but then…

“Cinna will be there too.”

“That’s right but he mostly keeps to himself when Plutarch is there.”

Understandable. Besides, even if going to Command this soon wasn’t what I wished for it had its advantages, we would face Coin once and for all.

“Okay. Command it is.”

 

The guard at the door is expecting me but not Peeta.

“Soldier Mellark. I haven’t received any change in schedules.”

“There wasn’t one.”

Peeta's voice is as steady as our hands keep firmly tight together. We know what’s coming and the guard doesn’t disappoint.

“Soldier Everdeen you may go in. Soldier Mellark your must follow your schedule.”

“We both go in or we both stay out.” my voice comes steadier than I feel.

His eyes could pierce me, trough and trough.

“Only Soldier Everdeen is to be allowed in.”

“We should go, Peeta. We tried…” my eyes don't leave the guard.

“Let’s go to Prep then.”

From piercing to stunned, the guard is lost, watching us turn away.

“Soldier Everdeen, you are order to present yourself in Command.”

I stop turning to him.

“I did.”

He’s utterly confused.

“President Coin is expecting you. You have to go in.”

“We both will. Provided you let us trough.”

“Not Soldier Mellark. He’s not allowed.”

It’s like his brain can’t process.

The door to Command opens giving way to Boggs.

“Where’s… Ah, Soldier Everdeen, the President is expecting you.”

The look he sends to the guard is a chastising one.

“They want to go in together, Sir.”

Boggs looks at both us and the guard, assessing the situation. He's not having it.

“Only you, Everdeen.”

“Both or none.”

I hold his look for a moment. I’m not budging.

“Wait here.”

He disappears inside to come back out gesturing us both in. We don’t rejoice or feel it as a win as we both know this is not ending here.

President Coin welcomes us with a cold look.

“Soldier Mellark your schedule has been changed.”

We wait, unresponsive, for her order to sit.

“Soldier Everdeen, your Squad is in the Capitol waiting for your return. At this point we need all our Soldiers in the field. Your orders are to take the next transport to the Capitol, your uniform will now be the Mockingjay outfit, your presence in our forces is to be noticed. Everyone thinks you have fallen, our soldiers need to know that isn't so.”

“And Peeta?”

“Peeta’s needed to make more propos to air in the Capitol. We need to get Capitol citizens on our side. At the moment they are in panic and frighten for their lives. We need someone to tell them they are not targets; they are citizens of Panem just like us.”

I really doubt Coin considers herself "just like us" but I let it pass without comment.

“Then we have a situation.” Peeta’s words silence my own. “Where ever you send us you send us both.”

Coin struggles to keep a peaceful stance. Boggs is clearly uncomfortable.

“This is war, Soldier Mellark; Soldiers are assign where they are most needed.”

“We wait for your orders on where we would go, or, we will follow one of the orders given if they aren’t the same to both of us. You are 13 President, you have the power to issue orders, we rather obey them than not.”

In the dim light her paleness is even more shocking. The seconds pass, the gentle humming of the electronic devices is the only sound heard.

“You are both to take the next transport to the Capitol. You are excused.”

As we both walk out the dreadful knowledge that we now have a serious enemy shades our victory.

 

Plutarch looks happy to have us both together, finally, even if his joy is tainted by the fact he’s staying behind, President Coin is not risking him falling into Snow’s hands. For once I can see her point quite clearly, Plutarch knows too much.

“Cressida will make a wonderful job, I’m sure of it.”

So am I. Cressida is a strange women, at first she looks like any other exuberant Capitol doll but she's anything but, she had joined the Rebellion heart and soul. Never did she talk about the why, still something had to have triggered everything. As for her team Castor and Pollux were the easier to understand, Pollux had been turn into an Avox, deprive forever from being heard, his brother Castor fought hard to get him out of Snow’s clutches; the last thing they wanted was for Panem to return to what was, they rather die than watch the Rebels lose.

“Cinna…” my welcoming smile translates to him as he pulls me into his embrace.

“You scared us all, Katniss.”

“But I was a beautiful Mockingjay.”

“That you were, by looks and by heart.”

He too was staying behind, to my relief and a bit of sadness, I enjoyed his silent cleverness. With only fabric, string and needles he conveyed so much.

"I'm glad you made the outfit."

"It was a pleasure."

"It's time." Haymitch had been strangely silent ever since I returned to 13. Even in the few visits he made to the Hospital he was so quiet I couldn't help but wonder.

Leaving Plutarch and Cinna behind, the rest of us get into the elevator. The trip to the hovercraft is a short one.

"Hey, you two."

Peeta and me turn back to Haymitch as Cressida and her the team enter the hovercraft.

"You know how serious your situation is."

We both stay silent.

"Good. Be careful out there."

"I'm more afraid for the ones that we leave behind." Prim, my mom, him....

"That concern suits you, Katniss, but it's misdirected. We all, over here, are following our orders, you two on the other hand..."

"Dared to defied them."

"Exactly, Peeta."

"We will be careful, Haymitch."

"I'm still on your side... both of you... stay alive... stay well."

Peeta smiles but it doesn't bring the calm and reassurance he intended go give Haymitch.

"We'll meet you in the City Circle, Haymitch."

"Keep thinking that, Sweetheart, keep fighting for it."

The hovercraft engines start working, effectively terminating our conversation.

"You should go."

"See you soon, Haymitch."

"See you soon, Peeta... Katniss."

 We sit inside the hovercraft just in time to watch the door closing.

I hope I never have to see 13 ever again. The thought dawns on me swift and hard, I find that I really dislike this gigantic mine where a all District crams together. Before when I left I knew I had to come back, I've left Peeta there, but this time he's here right next to me. With our hands still holding strong I rest my head on his shoulder feeling is soft kiss.


	52. Squad 451

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peeta and Katniss join Squad 451.

On the crowded hovercraft the air gets saturated and it's too hot. Sleep comes and goes; resting is impossible, still that's not what troubles me.

"You should try to sleep, Peeta."

The smile doesn't reach his eyes making me even more concern. He's seeing a world I never knew except through the TV screen, shinning under bright lights, all hideousness concealed but felt deep into the core in the Districts at every working order, at every death, at every beating from Peacekeepers, at every Reaping day, at every Hunger Game.

"I'm sorry."

The apology surprises him.

"What for?"

"You could be in 13 shooting propos, not here going back to..."

"We made a decision. I stand by it... I stand by you."

"I know but... it's hard watching you... like this, Peeta."

He's far away again... his mind lost on some nightmare I can't even imagine. I pull myself closer to him and am happy to feel his arms tighten around me.

"It's not going to be easy, Katniss. I'm not saying that, but it would be much worse imagining you here alone, without me, facing the Hell I know is waiting for us."

That I could understand.

"This time is different, Peeta. We are just a small part of a bigger force."

"You don't know what they are capable of, Katniss, I do."

"What are you expecting to find?"

"Killing machines, traps. Plutarch all but confirmed it to me."

"How does he know?"

It's the first time I see Peeta smile in contempt but it's not tainted with evil just sadness.

"He knows what he did and help do."

"Then he can help."

"I hope so. I know he will try, Haymitch will see to that."

"Haymitch?"

"Day and night he won't let go. Haymitch can be pretty effective in making people do his bidding."

"Not all people."

Peeta's smile opens up bringing a bit of light to his gloomy thoughts.

"No, not all." the gentle kiss is welcomed but the storm hasn't passed, I fear the worse will come later on "You should rest."

"I did. Your turn."

"I'll try."

It takes a few minutes but eventually his breathing softens as he slips into sleep. It takes me more time as my concern doesn't waver, I know close to nothing about Peeta's time on the Capitol. He didn't talk about it, I didn't ask, protecting him from the pain I knew the memory would cause, now he was going back, facing it all over again, because of me...

 

Gale was waiting for us. To my surprise we weren't inside the Capitol, between us and it there was a range of high mountains, the barrier that had been the Districts downfall in the Dark Days.

"Glad to see you walking around." it's Gale's welcome, the teasing wrapped in a smile.

"Not going to get rid of me just yet." I smile wickedly back at him.

He smiles back "Peeta"

"Gale"

Gale becomes serious all the sudden, at first I think it's a reaction to Peeta until...

"Cressida, Messala, Castor and Pollux, this is a surprise."

The exchanged look between Peeta and Gale tells me what I can't ask out loud, Gale isn't happy to have them there and they weren't expected.

"Where Peeta goes we go." it's Cressida's answer. She too understood Gale's not all that welcoming.

Her answer doesn't change Gale's clear reluctance on walking them to the Squad, if anything is even more reluctant. I understand him to a certain degree, this is war, Cressida's team are no Soldiers they are civilians, they should be protected, they should be elsewhere, but now that they are here there's not much Gale can do. A glimpse is enough for me to understand he came to the same conclusion.

"Let's go. They are all waiting for you."

We start walking; Gale on my left, Peeta on my right.

"We are stationed here waiting for the you to arrive. The rest of the Squads already crossed the train tunnel into the Capitol. We are taking heavy losses over there, the streets are rigged with traps. The only advantage is, there are no civilians, they evacuated before the traps got active."

"You call it traps, I call them pods." in that moment I know those are the traps Peeta mentioned earlier.

Gale looks puzzled.

"How do you know that's what they call them?"

"That's what Gamemakers call them, Gale. Is Finnick still in the Squad?"

"Yeah."

"He will know."

"He does. He's having a hard time with it."

Peeta nods.

"Katniss how is..."

Gale's worried about his family.

"They are doing great, Gale. Everyone is adjusting better than I thought."

"Prim... your mom?"

I recall the conversation I had with Prim.

"Surprisingly well adjusted, Gale."

He smiles.

"She's different from the little girl that we took out of 12 isn't she?"

"Sometimes I'm scared she's turning to a full 13 citizen. Thinking like a soldier, behaving like lives can be lost it all depends on the price."

"No, Katniss, that will never happen to her, to any of us."

"Gale's right, Katniss. Prim may echo some of the speeches but in her heart she will always fight to keep everyone alive, deep down she's still the little girl from 12, the rest is just a faint coat of varnish."

I knew they were right but still the terrifying thought came to nag at me when I least expected.

 

"Welcome, Soldier Everdeen, Soldier Mellark... I see the filming team followed you here." Jackson doesn't look all that surprise.

"We won't create any kind of trouble. We will stay out of the way."

Cressida means well but she lacks the knowledge to understand what she's saying is impossible in a war zone.

"It's late for us to start our crossing of the tunnel so get comfortable, we’ll be leaving by 0600 hours.”

Rotations are set. I’m happy to take the first shift with Finnick.

“Did you saw Annie?”

“She hanging on, Finnick. She misses you but the news we are on the same Squad and my reassurance the rest of the Squad members are nice people calmed her somewhat. Prim and Johanna never leave her side. Johanna can be sweet… when she wants to be.”

“I know. And she’s surprisingly patient with Annie. The fact I love her as deeply as I do is the only thing puzzling to Johanna.”

“Love is weird...” I try to reproduce Johanna’s tone of voice and fail miserably making Finnick laugh.

“What a mockingjay you are. Johanna is not that hard.”

And he tries also failing miserably, I just smile at his effort.

“It’s harder than I thought.”

The camp is quiet no one moves and regular breathing it's an invitation for us to drift off.

“Finnick, where’s Darius?”

“Command considered he would be more useful staying in District 2, dealing with the last remnants of Capitol minions.”

“He knows the District pretty well. Still…” they had so many Rebels from 2 now, all out to get the ones that once enslaved them. The risk in 2 was the Rebellion could turn into uncontrollable witch hunt.

“Personally I think Command still looks at him as an ex-Peacekeeper, if confronted or taken they are afraid he may turn back.”

“Darius wouldn’t do that.”

I sense the hesitation and it bugs me. Darius doesn’t deserve this, all 12 survivors owe him their lives.

“Maybe so… still… who can really know. I don’t know what I would do if they had Annie. What extent would you sacrifice if they had Peeta?”

I would sacrifice myself, of that I have no doubt but would I sacrifice others? The maybe pops up, unwelcomed, I struggle against it but it's there, even if it goes away I know it was there. I can only be sure of one thing, I would ensure Peeta’s well being; to what extent of sacrifice… all, my heart, my soul, my all.

The silence no longer brings need to sleep and the shift comes to an end finding me awake and aware of how powerful and potentially dangerous is my bond to Peeta.

 

His warmth welcomes me and helps me reconcile with sleep. I hardly notice when he joins Gale for his shift, but his presence is deeply missed as my sleep becomes shallow and intercut.

“How are you hanging on, Peeta?”

“Not looking forward to this, Gale.”

“You know the Capitol better than most of us. It’s an advantage.”

“I also know how deadly pods are, and how Gamemakers like to make a show out of every death. That’s not an advantage; that makes me want to take her and run away as fast as I can, but I can’t. Snow can not stay in control, Gale, he can not be allowed to keep killing and enslaving people like this.”

“No he can’t. We need to win this, Peeta, there’s no turning back.”

“Win or…”

“No or, no buts, we need to win and live, to be free, to make our own lives.”

“It’s better for you, you know.”

“How do you figure?”

“Your loved ones are safe in 13.”

“Not all.”

“She’s made her decision Gale.”

“That has nothing to do with my feelings. I still care for her.”

The following silence takes too long, I have to control myself not to look at them.

“Then help me protect her, Gale.”

“Provided she allows me to.”

“She can be a real challenge in that particular.” I hear the smile in his voice.

Someone coughs and a new voice is heard, I can’t understand the words but Peeta and Gale stay silent after that and the next thing I feel is Peeta pulling me gently into his arms.


	53. The Capitol

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Katniss is in the Capitol for the first time and only now understands she as just enter an Arena.

The night turns morning trough dawn's magic. I'm awake seeing the sky turn soft pink and building up to deep blue. I conjure up the dawns, back in 12, where I witness the same scene in Peeta's arms, like I am now; but it's so different now, here we are surrounded by people, all sleeping but soon to be awake, there's no meadow just a small sea of sleeping bags. I miss 12 and the peacefulness of our dawn meetings.

Peeta's breathing turns less soft an I know he's awake. Our eyes meet and in them I find the peacefulness I thought I lost. Our kiss is soft, riddle of the happiness I feel for having him here.

“Good morning.” he smiles “How did you sleep?” I still worry after our talk in the hovercraft.

“Quite well. Having you in my arms helps.”

Everyone is already moving about. No time to linger, it's time to get up and get ready to leave.

Walking on the train track is even better than walking on most paths in 12, nice pavement, hardly no bumps, no holes. I keep attentive on Peeta that walks in front of me, Gale is behind me keeping a close eye on both of us. Peeta didn't need to ask Gale to protect me he's been doing it since we met, the conditions have changed but he still has my back as I have his. That part I don't think Peeta his going to be as receptive.

Against what I thought the tunnel is well lit, it doesn't feel like I'm under ground, maybe because I now there's outdoors on the other end of it. Peeta keeps falling behind Finnick, walking in front of him, I notice Finnick lingering and walking slower turning the distance between the two less noticeable.

“Peeta...”

He doesn't answer me until I call again.

“I'm okay.”

Which means he really isn't.

Jackson looks back trying to see how everyone's doing. I look back at her and I know she saw something on Peeta's face that is alarming.

“Let's take 5.”

I pull Peeta down making him sit. Finnick joins us.

“I don't know if I'm ready for this, Finnick.”

“You are, Peeta, just like me. I venture myself in saying we are the ones better equipped to deal with what is waiting for us at the end of this tunnel.”

“What do you mean...” Gale is right by my side.

“You will see.” Is the only answer Finnick gives both Gale's question and my puzzled look.

He turns back to Peeta “Besides we are not alone.”

Peeta's eyes don't leave me, concern, worry, need, everything is entangled in his look and I feel burning up.

“Times up.”

We are moving again but this time Peeta doesn't falter. The small distant dot of light grows every step we take and soon I see the end of the tunnel and the Capitol train station in all it's glory.

The Station looks like a palace. I don't think I ever saw anything this pretty. Light gets in trough the intricate steal and glass work of the selling, the scorching sun filtered; temperature steady on the light cold, accommodating the hundreds of Rebels that are staying inside the Station.

Our assigned space is near the tunnel exit. We organize the space, setting everything we are going to need and wait for Jackson to be back with our orders.

“So Peeta, not like you remembered?” Cressida is, fortunately, without cameras and only making conversation.

“Still full of people.”

“Different people.”

“Less colorful.” Peeta smiles for Cressida's benefit.

I know what he means, Capitol people are bright and dress accordingly. It fits, what do they have to worry about? The food is always there and there needs are provided for.

“You have a wrong image of us Capitol citizens over in the Districts. People here are not as free and happy as you think. They live better than you, yes; they still have to work hard to get the lives you see them do, and not all are allowed to. President Snow rules the lives of everyone in the Capitol, just like in the Districts, he just does it in a different way.”

“We starve, Cressida.”

“Here people usually don't starve, but they could if they stop working, Katniss; and if you disobey Snow's orders there's a special level in the Mansion to deal with you.”

“Special level?”

“Torture, they say. Turn to Avox if you are lucky.”

I wouldn't consider being turned to an Avox lucky.

Jackson arrives and we join in circle around the strange object she sets on the ground.

“This is a Holo.”

She presses a button and a ray of light comes out of it, it takes shape, like a special kind of TV, showing a 3D map.

“And this is the Capitol.”

And I notice the tall buildings, like strange warehouses where people live in piled up houses, it's a strange concept to me but I can't stop myself from being curious to walk into one of those houses, would it feel different being up there in the sky? My eyes move to the middle there lies the most beautiful of all houses, the Presidential Mansion and it's gardens, the City Circle.

“We are here.”

Jackson points a building far away from the city circle, near the edge of this circle shape map.

“Our objective is the City Circle.”

I try to find the way from our position to the Mansion but before I find it Jackson presses another button and small red shinning dots pop up everywhere. And the all image brings in a memory, an air image of the Hunger Games arena.

I glimpse at Finnick that answers me with a sad smile confirming my thoughts. I step closer to Peeta that takes my hand, unaware, his focused on the map.

“These are pods, the ones we know of. They may have put in new ones.”

By her tone Jackson was sure they did.

“No one goes anywhere without me checking the Holo. Many Capitol rebels were killed to get this information to us, it's vital the Enemy doesn't know we got it. So if it is compromise just press this button and say three times Nightlock.”

The thought of Rue nightlock brings tears to my eyes.

“It will destroy itself and everything in a 3 mile radius. As we have Soldier Mellark and Soldier Everdeen with us we are assign area B4, in order for Cressida to shoot propos to air in the Capitol.”

Gale's upset to be so far away from the frontline I can tell by the way he looks at Cressida.

“Don't be fooled, it may be far from the City Circle but it's still a war zone, and there's pods everywhere, so stay sharp. We move at 0600.”

As everyone walks out Finnick steps closer to me, Peeta and Gale.

“Ladies and Gentleman welcome to the 75th Hunger Games.”


	54. Pod's

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Squad 451 enters the war zone and Katniss destroys the first pod they find. Cressida shots some footage and starts to work on producing a new propo, inside the Capitol that is now a war zone. Peeta finds that even if Katniss is protective of Gale he wouldn't have her any other way.  
> We find what happen to Portia and, thanks to Snow's pods the Squad is forced to move further into the Capitol.

The tall buildings on both sides of the street give us a claustrophobic feel. In 12, when I saw images of the Capitol, I was amazed by the colorful buildings, the amazing bright and clean streets filled with people; my reality was so far from the one up there on the screen, dark coal dust set on all colors tainting them black, even our bodies were covered by it every day giving us a dirty like look.

The colored buildings are still here but some show the marks of gun fire and smoke, Districts reminders of sorts. The buildings cut any hope of seeing the horizon, making watching the Sun an impossible task except on mid-day, making every door, every corner, a dangerous spot that we had to approach carefully; making every window a high ground where enemies could be set in waiting.

“This is perfect.” Cressida’s voice cut’s our concentration.

We arrived some kind of Square. In the middle, a strange looking construction.

“What’s that?” I ask Peeta.

“Just an ornament of some kind.”

“What for?”

“Just to embellish, Katniss.”

The all thing seems a bit pointless to me, detail that doesn’t escape Peeta’s notice as I see his knowing smile.

“Don’t try to understand them, Katniss, they don’t think like us.”

The loud beep from the Holo pulls our attention.

“Katniss.” Jackson points at the ornament. I take aim…

“Wait.” Cressida’s voice commands, to my shock, and I freeze “Castor there, Pollux here, yeah that’s perfect. Now, Katniss.”

I let the red arrow fly. The blast takes out a big part of the structure, small bits fly pass in front of us.

“Trackerjackers…”

Peeta knows better than anyone what the big wasp like bugs are capable of. To be on the safe side Homes blasts the remains with fire before we venture moving forward.

As we move pass the now destroyed structure I find Peeta hasn’t lost is sense of humour.

“I guess it’s less ornamental than I thought.”

“It’s wasn’t nice enough to be ornamental so we should have known.”

“They have a strange sense of beauty over here, who’s to say that wasn’t the most gorgeous thing anyone had seen?”

“I pity anyone that thinks like that.”

“Katniss Everdeen pitying a Capitol citizen, I never thought I would see the day.”

I pretend to be annoyed; inside I’m happy to see Peeta joking again.

The next block is unexpectedly quiet, enough for all of us to be on edge, searching for some unseen and uncharted pod. Our steps are as soft as we can and we keep on the middle of the street attentive to all windows, all doors; it’s exhausting.

By Jackson’s order we set ourselves in a store with a privilege view over the Square we are just entering.

It’s nice to sit and rest for a while except Cressida has other plans for Peeta. They keep outside under our watchful eye; Jackson doesn’t allow Cressida to move further into the Square.

“He seems at ease.”

Gale joins me at the window, my view point over Peeta. It’s amazing how much Peeta's able to conceal from the audience. He’s tired, he’s worried, he’s searching for some danger that is coming is way, he’s back at the Arena, but somehow that doesn’t translate fully to his stance, nor to the way he talks to the cameras.

It’s a relief when Cressida calls Cut. Peeta’s eyes are on me and Gale instantly. We both wait for him to join us; Peeta’s arm slides around me as soon as he steps to my side as Cressida and her team sit on the corner to work on the footage.

“You should rest, Katniss.”

I ignore him for a second.

“What did you say?”

“That we were counting on every Capitol citizen to make up their own minds about supporting Snow. That we are not here to harm them but to free them.”

“Hope they listen, Peeta. Really hope they listen.” Gale leaves us.

I wonder if this is the same Peeta I heard last night asking Gale to help him protect me. Maybe I was just dreaming.

“Gale’s my friend, Peeta. He will always have my back.”

“I know.”

“And I will always have his.”

Peeta’s head rests on my shoulder with a sigh.

“I know that too. And sometimes I wonder…”

“What?”

“If we were both in trouble who would you save.”

“Both.”

My answer comes swift and without hesitation.

“I thought as much.”

“You would like my answer to be different.”

Peeta smiles.

“It wouldn’t be you if the answer was any different.”

 

The Holo doesn't signal any pod in the Square and on our way so we move out. The next block shows an unexpected level of destruction. I can't help but wonder what happen here, were they targeting their own? The buildings were bombed at, our boots keep crushing glass under our feet. But more than anything, about half way trough, I can distinguish a strange form hanging mid air waiting for us over the next intersection. As we step closer and closer the muttering shock goes trough us all, its a body. It's almost unrecognizable but it's definitely a body, thin threads keep it steady, in position... wait those are not threads those are...

"Is that...?"

"Barb wire." Gale is stunned, looking, like me. Trying to understand it's shape.

"She's still there. I should have know they wouldn't take her down."

The all Squad turns it's attention to Peeta.

"Peeta... who...?"

The eyes that meet mine are cold, unattached.

"Portia."

We all feel the blow. I recall her beautiful features, her elegance; all lost. I can't reconcile the image in my head with the unidentifiable body that hangs in the air like a macabre ceiling light.

"This was the last block we reached above ground. We thought we were safe; we were wrong. they were tracking us, they were just waiting for us to get to an evacuated area, they knew the pods would get us."

"Portia..." Cressida is in tears.

"We didn't even knew what a pod was. We knew there were traps but some how we thought... we thought... I don't even know what we thought. Not this, never this. We all came trough and then, when Portia stepped on one of the tiles... I can still hear it, Katniss, every time I close my eyes. We ran, Katniss, we ran. We should have help her but we just ran... for our lives."

"It was probably too late for her anyway, Peeta." Finnick is the voice of reason.

"No, it wasn't. It took hours. We tried. We tried everything we could think of but in the end..."

Even now Gale is trying, for Peeta, for me, for Cressida, but ultimately for Portia. She doesn't deserve to be left like this, not anymore. But not even Gale manages to cut the high barbwire.

"It's no use, Gale. Maybe the teams behind us can get her down. I'll radio the situation in."

Jackson walks away talking to the radio. And it all happens in an instant, the gunfire comes out of nowhere, they were waiting, they knew we would stop here. We all take cover trying to spot the enemy position. But there isn't one, the shots are hitting the same spot over and over again, it's another pod, uncharted. We just have to wait for the ammunition to end.

"You okay?"

"Yeah. You?" I check Peeta for any sign of injury.

"Not a scratch."

"We lost the radio." Jackson can't say the same thing as Peeta and me.

"You're hurt."

"Light wound."

I look around watching everyone get up.

"Let's go back."

"Why?" Peeta asks before I can.

"No communications, Soldier Mellark. We can't move on without it."

"We only need the Holo to keep going."

"And communication, Soldier Everdeen."

"It's the wise thing to do, Peeta." Even if Finnick was the one talking it doesn't escape my notice that Gale agrees with him as does the rest of the Squad.

Jackson leads us back trough the same path. I let myself fall behind with Peeta.

"If we could get the Holo we could go in alone."

"Always the fighter."

I was ready to insist a bit further when...

"Jackson..." the scream and the following ominous sound cuts my argument short.

We all rush to the front where Holmes and Mitchell work on dragging Jackson out of the Square. The Square once peaceful and free of pods was nothing more than an elaborate trap. At every street around it a wall like barrier is growing higher in the sky. The stench serves as warning that something else is coming, but what? The wave of black clings to everything in it's path.

"Run."

I don't know who screamed, it was unnecessary, we were all following Jackson, jumping up the staircase inside the nearest building, my hand tightly held by Peeta. We take refuge on the last floor, Gale is the last to arrive, already dizzy from the fumes.

Pollux and Castor cover every crevice keeping the fumes out. We are all out of breath, other than that everyone looks fine.

"I guess we aren't going back." Peeta states the obvious "With any luck we will survive to move further into the Capitol."

"That's not an option, Soldier Mellark."

"Our way back is cut." I too state the obvious.

"And we can't ask for support." Gale is backing us again.

"Don't think we have another option, Commander." Finnick was too quiet. The fact he looks so sad sharing his opinion I'm sure he wishes for it to be different.

"By now every Peacekeeper knows we are here."

"How can you be sure, Castor?"

"I saw the cameras out there. When we came trough the other time they weren't active but now... after the pod was activated they too were active. They know exactly where we are you can be sure of it."

The sense of urgency rises in all of us.

"We should leave as soon as possible." Gale echoes everyone's opinion. 

Jackson turns the Holo on.

"We are here." she points to a building on the side of a beautiful Square, in the Holo, it has a small green patch in the middle of it.

"The walls are here, here, here, here, here and here..." Holmes points to every street around the Square

"We are closed off if we get out that way..."

"We can leave trough the back of the building."

The only risk there was the pods. As we all consider the risks a strange squishing sound calls our attention to the window. What ever it was the black substance is receding, from the back window we watch as it spreads taking the streets in her path, the wave highness decreasing as it spreads.

"Soon it will be gone."

"Maybe even taking some pods with it."

"Soldier Hawthorne, go check if we can walk over it."

Gale goes out for a few moments and comes back confirming our hopes with a nod.

"Let's move out."

We go through a window at the back of the ground floor. The wave broke the glass and it's rubber consistency set a protective coat around the shards. 

Peeta turns to look back as our footprints disappear when the rubber returns to it's form.

"It's the first time Snow helps us in anyway."

No tracks, nothing to follow.

"We should go, Peeta."

"You know I'm almost happy this happen."

I wait for him to explain his train of thought.

"This way we may reach the City Circle and Snow..."

"...without it being a suicide mission..."

"It's still is a suicide mission, Katniss, not all of us are coming out of it alive, but the odds definitely increased since your last plan."

"You said no."

"I would of said yes if you asked again providing we got Gale, Finnick and Cressida on board."

"Cressida?"

"I never thought, not even for a second, that we could use the Holo, Katniss, it only answers to Jackson. Cressida knows the Capitol. Now we are all on the same path, and the Holo is an important piece in our new mission."

"Don't think Jackson will agree with the new mission."

"She already did, she just doesn't know it yet."


	55. Underground

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Squad 451 survives but, confronted with hundreds of pods, must move underground, a place well known by Pollux and Peeta.

It's like we are walking on rubber, following Jackson, the Squad keeps moving forward at a fast pace. From time to time silence is cut by the beep of the Holo, invariably the pod has been destroyed by the wave. The buildings, once bright colored are now black as coal.

The distant sound of blasts has us all looking back.

"They are shooting our previous position."

And by the following sound of rubble coming down I understand they destroyed the all building. If we had stayed we would be buried alive by now. I feel the cold chill. Peeta takes my face between his hands making me focus on his deep blue us and not in the dark my eyes see whenever I close them.

"Hey, it's a good thing." 

He smiles.

"They do not chase dead people."

I smile back. He's right they don't.

"But they will check to see if we really are there."

Gale is thinking about ways the enemy may react.

"Gale's right, let's move out." Jackson orders.

But we don't go far, two blocks ahead the street level is clearly visible.

"Let's rest for a few hours before proceeding."

Jackson is a clever leader, we have been walking for hours, even without the added tension of the pods we are all tired, too tired to keep the attentive eye needed to move forward.

I for one am grateful for the comfortable, weird shaped, couch where I more lay down then sit in Peeta's arms.

"You can sleep if you want, Katniss, but only after you've eaten something."

For a Capitol house this one is almost bare, still we get enough to spare the rations we carry. Who knows when we will only have them?

Crackers, water, some canned beef. Better than many of the meals in 12.

I'm starting to drift into sleep when a familiar tune and light brings me back. The first thing that catches my attention is the paleness in Peeta's face, I follow his eyes to find his face up there in the TV screen, his name, his District; Finnick follows, I hear is laugh, he's taking it well; then my face in the TV screen, no name just the District; Gale follows suite, no name just the District, like me; then Cressida and her team, they are entitle to have both name and Capitol; and then the rest of the Squad with just their images from cameras from the Square.

"Soon it will be time for them to interview our family and friends." Finnick laughs.

"It's not funny, Finnick."

"It looks funny from where I'm sitting."

"The Districts are watching this, Finnick." I'm concern about the effect it must be having on Prim.

This silences Finnick.

"By tomorrow or so they will find out we are not there, Katniss."

"I know, Gale, but will they inform the rest of Panem about that?"

No one could answer for sure but in their silence I see my fears all but confirmed.

"Prim will be alright, Katniss."

Peeta holds me tight and we all settle in for the night. This time we take individual rotations allowing everyone to sleep a bit more.

 

By morning we all join Jackson accessing our position and the path we will take to get to the City Circle.

"We are here." Cressida is as valuable as Peeta thought.

Between us and the President Mansion the streets are tainted red with pod's.

"There must be another way." not even Gale can find a way, my level of concern rises.

"There is... one other way." Peeta is too focused on me and not in a comfortable way. "underground." and I know why.

I notice the flicker of light from the Holo but I can't look away from Peeta. Our conversation is silent but clear enough, it's not only his concern for me that turns his expression somber it's something deep down inside him that haunts him, and in turn, haunts me.

"A bit better. Still there's a lot of pods." Leeg 1 notices.

"The Holo doesn't show everything. There are corridors down there that aren't charted." Castor seems to know what he's talking about and all eyes are on him." Pollux knows those corridors very well."

I notice Pollux face is as pale as Peeta's.

"Many Avoxes work down there, in the sewers. They don't complain. We spent years to get Pollux back on surface level and by then he couldn't even take daylight."

I reach for Pollux hand.

"Pollux?"

His eyes are filled with painful memories.

"Can you help us?"

He nods but I see it's going to cost him, maybe even his sanity.

"I'll help, Pollux."

Peeta sit's by his side as Pollux gestures something we don't understand.

"My brother asks if you know the ways down there too?"

Peeta smiles sadly.

"Yes, after what happen... you know..." the image of Portia comes swiftly to my mind "we turned back and found refuge underground. Pod's weren't active there yet but the maze of corridors was impressive. We managed to survive and find refuge."

Pollux nods.

"We can access the sewer system trough maintenance tunnels. There's one here. On ground floor. Let's move out."

 

Jackson had seen it correctly but the passage is only enough for a man to go trough, the insect like shells of Castor and Pollux have to be left behind. We conceal them the best we could on the top level.

"With any luck they won't look so further up."

"Do you still believe in luck, Peeta?"

"I'm here with you, so yes, I do."

His smile doesn't fool me nor distracts me from the growing darkness I sense in Peeta's eyes.

I go down after Finnick and before Peeta, Gale was one of the first one's in with Pollux and Castor. It's darker than I thought and it takes us a few moments for our eyes to get accustomed to the darkness, our noses getting accustomed to the smell will take more time. I take Peeta's hand but it's hard to keep it in the tight corridor. We walk slowly as our feet keep slipping on the wet floor. The beep... a pod.

"There's another corridor trough here." Peeta points to a small grid in the wall.

Gale comes to check it, followed by Jackson and the rest of the Squad.

"Will we be able to go through?"

"Yeah but it will be almost impossible to conceal our path."

Between that and the pods...

"My brother knows that corridor, it will takes us a few blocks away from City Circle."

"Let's go. We will conceal our way the best we can and move on."

Pollux goes in first, checking if it is the right corridor, in a few seconds he gestures us to go through. The smell hits me full strength.

"You'll get use to it, Katniss."

"Did you stay here, Peeta?" 

"A bit further down this corridor."

"I wish..."

"Shhh... in a way I'm happy we are here, these corridors I know, I know where we can hide, where we can run, I feel safer here than up there."

It's not a lie, I can tell, but it isn't all good things as he wants me to believe. I prepare myself to softly expose that I wish he doesn't hide things from me, I can help better if I know; when Gale arrives.

"Did you manage to conceal our path, Gale?"

"If no one touches the grid it will be okay. But..." I see him glimpse at Peeta before turning silent.

"What, Gale? But what?" I hate when they work together just to hide things from me.

"They are already after us." Peeta answers.

"How do you know?"

"I thought I heard something before but only now, with Gale, I was sure."

"They are still far away but yes, they are coming."

"How long do you think we have?" I ask Gale.

"4, 5 hours tops. Unless they don't touch the grid in which case I can't tell for sure but surely we have more time than that."

"Let's hope they do not touch the grid then."

"Let's not make decisions based on that hope." Peeta sounds cold, I guess his faith in luck is only for my sake.

 

As soon as Gale informs Jackson, the all Squad moves at a speedy pace. I slip a few times as does Peeta we save each other each time, but even with Peeta by my side the claustrophobic feel, the Peacekeepers after us, it all adds to my sense of urgency making me slip more often as I look behind, always searching for a shade of white I know will arrive. Time passes, though, and as the minutes turn to hours we are more and more sure that the grid is still in place.

"Lets settle in."

Pollux chose the room, a room where the humming covers all sounds from outside, and the small colored lights keep flickering; it's not the best place for us to stay but it's warm and I'm too tired to object. The rotations are individual again as this time only silence can ensure we hear any sound from outside.

My shift is first and I make Peeta rest his head on my lap, he doesn't really object as he loves to fall asleep while I caress his hair, a preference he hasn't enjoyed much these last months.

The humming doesn't help my focus but I keep my hears out to any sound out of the ordinary, thankfully my shift finishes before any thing is heard.

It's my time to go to sleep. Not wanting to disturb Peeta I sleep siting, it's a convoluted dream, I run and run, corridors without end.

"Everybody up, lets move, now."

I wake with a start my head resting on Peeta's shoulder, he too is now sitting even if he's just waking up.

"How...?"

He doesn't hear me as he pulls us both off the ground.

"Ready?"

I grab the bow and arrows, my back pack already in my back.

"Yes."

Peeta takes my hand and we run. Out there the silence is cut by a strange hissing sound, what ever it is it's far behind us but moving fast.

"Muts. They released the muts."

I grab hold of Peeta's hand with every strength I got. I wouldn't let him go, we won't be split up, not ever, not again.


	56. Muts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Squad 251 keeps underground but Capitol Muts are right on their tail. Thank to Pollux they manage to survive their first encounter only to face a new area of pod's.

Running and slipping, slipping and running, it's a miracle we manage not to fall but the once quiet Squad isn't stealth anymore and I can hear our pursuer getting closer.

“This is not working...” Peeta tells Finnick “The muts can both hear and smell us.”

Finnick hardly glimpses at Peeta, in his haste, but we see his nod.

We run a bit longer down the corridor until Jackson turns right entering a tunnel filled with water. The water isn't clean still it's freshness feels wonderful on my skin.

Our movements turn more quiet but also more slow, my eyes keep turning back, searching the darkness behind us, for something I don't even know the shape of. The Capitol devised and created muts of every shape and size, mixing animals with each other adding some human capabilities, it was impossible to tell what kind of unnatural mixture turned mutant is chasing us, what's clear is that their hissing is more muted, further away. But the waive of relief doesn't even take me fully as I understand the hissing, once coming from directly behind us, now sounds more spread, the muts have split up trough other levels.

“They are circling us, Peeta. It's like they are forcing us to go where they want." like I did so many times with Gale "They are setting a trap.”

Peeta stops he too listens, attentive to every move behind us.

“What's wrong?”

Finnick walks back to us.

“Shh, listen.”

The three of us wait in silence hearing attentively, confirming my assessment.

“They are everywhere...” Finnick manages to conceal the alarm on his voice.

“Everything okay?”

Gale and Jackson cross the waters back to us.

“We are walking into a trap, Gale.”

He too listens.

“Katniss's right. They are runing to corner us and make us go where they want.”

Jackson turns to Peeta.

“Any way out of here?”

“That I know of not for a few blocks. There's a ladder that leads back to ground level in 4 blocks. But we are not aiming for ground level. Maybe Pollux has another option.”

He did, there was a service tunnel that would allows us access to public areas but still underground, a block away.

This tunnel is small and dry, our movements our scent are no longer muffled by water. I crouch avoiding the ceiling, following Peeta's lead. The hissing hadn't change direction it was just closer, in some corridors parallel to the one we were in, as it got closer it got clearer “Katnissssss” the word freezes me to the ground.

“Kat...”

The hissing echoes and only just now Peeta understands the word, I see his face turn pale like all blood was suddenly sucked out of it.

“Let's go... now...”

He pulls my hand setting us of to an almost run.

“How do they...”

“They know your face, Katniss, how long would you expect it would take them to find out your name?”

None, I guess. The thought seemed odd until I recall all the Peacekeepers, all the Rippings, all daily controls at school.

“An owner always knows his property I guess.”

“I wouldn't put it exactly like that but, yes.”

The question "Why me?" was easy enough for me to answer on my own; getting me they would get him and both faces of the Rebellion would be silenced.

Finnick stops unexpectedly forcing us to do the same, a ladder is right above us. I question myself on the safety of this plan but the hissing, now right behind us again, presses us on, and it's close, so very close.

Pollux is already climbing the stairs the sound of the grid muffled by the creatures now so close their words are clear to the all Squad.

“Take... Grab... Katnisssss”

It's not only Peeta anymore, the all Squad urges me up the stairs, with Peeta close behind.

“Go, Katniss, go.” Peeta urges me into another ladder but the sound of gunfire calls my attention back.

I run back to the first ladder, arrow ready to fly but my aim is right on... Finnick's face just out of the hole, I'm shocked to understand I could have shot an arrow trough him, to my surprise he doesn't even flinch, he just turns with his trident ready to attack anything that comes our way. A scream echoes the walls and my head, I look around trying to remember the Squad members and camera crew that already gone trough the second ladder. Almost everyone is already up there except 4 and one of them is Gale, Gale's is still down there.

I ran for the down ladder once more but this time Peeta is expecting it and he grabs me.

“No.” he too hisses firmly on my ear.

“Gale's down there.”

Jackson comes up shooting down, the hissing loud with a victory tone to it making my skin crawl, the fact it's intercut by screams adds to my terror and something else... only now I notice the smell of the sedge is tainted with another smell, and it's off, it reminds me of burials... flowers and screams, screams and flowers...

“Gale... Gale...” I too scream, I'm no longer fighting Peeta's embrace but still he keeps his arms firmly around me until Gale face shows up. But he's struggling to get free... from what?

“No, Katniss.”

“I need to see Peeta. I need to know what I'm hunting.” and what is hunting me.

The lizard like mutt is as tall as man and as white as... I fight to recall where I saw something that white, I'm sure I have, and then I remember, President Snow lapel, he always has a white rose set in there when he addresses Panem. The white is soon tainted by red when Gale's accurate shot takes off it's face.

“Close it.”

“But... the Leeg's.”

Gale glimpses at me.

“Close it now.”

The sound of someone in the ladder makes me rush to stop Messala and Finnick from closing the access.

“Stop... there's someone...”

It's Gale's words that stop me this time.

“Not someone, Katniss, something.”

 

The level we arrive is wide, we can walk straight but I'm numb, I'm just following Peeta's steps as I process the image we left behind. The Holo beeps startling all of us, even Jackson.

“Pod.”

It's the underground level we were fighting to avoid but we have no choice.

“Where?”

“That corner over there.”

But there's nothing out of the ordinary, nothing standing out. We step carefully studying the wall, the floor, but nothing looks different or out of place. The hissing is back freezing us all to the ground but it's a different pitch, and moving in too fast.

“It's the underground train.” Castor translates Pollux gestures; he doesn't need to translate Pollux smile.

We all keep moving forward, carefully, slowly. Cressida's scream makes me look up front to her, and immediately I wish I hadn't, Messala stands above ground pulled up into an unnatural position, trapped in a beam of green light. It's like he's being pulled apart, I'm spared from the sight of his face, but the effects of the beam on his body are horrible enough. I hardly feel Peeta's arms pulling me to him and his efforts to pull my face to his neck, my eyes are like transfixed and I can't look anywhere else but Messala as the light melts is body turning Messala into a memory.

A Cressida in tears is pulled by Holmes away from the pod. Carefully we all safely pass it and start to run, after Jackson. We had set off a pod, they know where we are.

 


	57. Open air

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A reduced Squad 451 gets out from underground after losing two more of it's members.

My legs move forward fast fuelled by adrenaline, later I will feel the soreness, later I will fall down to the welcoming ground and rest but not now, there’s no time. We can all hear them, somewhere behind us, still far but moving fast once more.

The beeping of the Holo puts us between a rock and hard stone, between mutts and pod. Again the pod isn’t visible at naked eye; my name hissed by the creatures is becoming intelligible.

“Holmes…” Jackson hands the beeping Holo to Gale, grabs her gun gesturing her second in command to do the same. “Shoot at anything white.” Still aiming at darkness Jackson turns to me “You must destroy the pod… we‘ll cover you.”

The seven of us start to move slowly careful on where we step, leaving marks of the safe places we stepped. Gale and Peeta are on point, my objection silenced by both of them; Finnick and I follow close, marking their steps; Cressida, Castor and Pollux follow, stepping only in marked areas. There’s no way to tell where the pod is, even from the middle of the corridor, the wall tiles are tight together without any irregularity. My eyes are on Peeta’s feet, the ground as prefect as the walls, my ears on the beeping Holo.

I lose track of time as the Holo beep seems to go on forever. For a moment I fear it does and the mutts will get to us before the beeping stops, and that’s when the absence of the beep registers when the hissing becomes audible once more, so close I have to control myself not to run to Peeta.

Peeta and Gale are already safe looking at our every step. One more step and I’ll be safe, just one more step… Peeta’s arms welcome me, a fast welcome, as we turn to follow Cressida, Castor and Pollux safely stepping on our last mark.

“Jackson, Holmes, come one.”

Gale, Peeta and I take aim at the darkness and we wait. Finnick, Cressida, and Castor urge Jackson and Holmes forward. They are half way through when I spot them.

“Their coming…” they are just easy to miss shadows of white on the sparkling tiles but their there I know they are. I see them run closer, my arrow flies creating havoc on their midst as it falls.

Jackson and Holmes are just now catching up with us, it’s time to run, but before we do the mutts get to the Pod and now her nature becomes evident as out of the ground, completely destroying the tiles, comes razor sharp rotating blades. The first mutts are caught spreading blood, all hopes that that would stop them are lost as the mutts keep trying to cross to us.

“Let’s go.”

I don’t know who issue the order but its need is evident and I ran with Peeta at my side. I see Gale right there up front, the Holo still in his hand.

We come to a larger place with sitting places and grand stairs.

“I know where we are.” Cressida gives me back the hope I felt lost.

“Where?”

“Up the stairs we will be in the city.”

We hear her but we don’t even stop, the hissing is becoming audible again, if we stop we’re dead.

The cold night air fills me with relief, I longed for being up ground. I don’t see starts or night sky I only see Peeta in front of me following Cressida as she runs through backdoor passages to a garden. There she stops waiting for all of us to gather around her.

I look around and spot light in the windows, my ears pick up laughter from inside one of the houses. This is not an evacuated area people are still going about their usual lives here, here we will have civilians to worry about.

“Cressida… where are we?”

“About 5 blocks from City Circle, Katniss.”

Still a long way to go.

“There are civilians here. A lot of eyes for us to avoid.”

And Finnick was a well-known face in the Capitol, as was Peeta.

“We must hide, Cressida.” Peeta knows this as well as I do.

“Peeta’s right.” I wait for Jackson to decide how we should proceed but she’s not there.

“Where’s Jackson… and Holmes?”

“They stayed back, covering our retreat.”

Gale doesn’t need to say more, the gloomy silence sets in all of us. The echo of Panem anthem brings us back to reality. Through the shades of a nearby window we watch President Snow addressing Panem, the sound of his voice reaches us but not the words; the image shifts and our faces are shown one by one, in colors, not in the gray images they reserve for the dead.

They know we survived, the all Panem knows we survived; the all Capitol is searching for us.

“Cressida, do you know of some place we can lay low?”

She considers for a moment.

“I may have something but it’s tricky to get there.”

A nearby window opens but no one show up.

“Don’t think we have a choice.” Peeta urges Cressida to lead the way.

 

Even by night the Capitol is too sparkly, too overwhelming in it's opulence. I shade myself for this world so far away from reality and focus on my world, the real world, where a war is being fought, people are killing and being killed just a few blocks from here, a world where my life, my family, my friends life is at stake.

We walk in a peaceful quiet pace, avoiding being notice. Peacekeepers must be occupied elsewhere as we don't cross paths with any, or maybe they are just searching for us in the wrong place; Cressida keeps us in back streets, badly lit until she stops in front of a depressing little store. Some strange furry attires are hanging inside the window, I wonder who uses this kind of thing. The real shock is the person that opens the door, is it a person? It's almost like a mutt, a mutation between human and cat.

"Tygris, remember me..."

The creature doesn't show any sign of recognition but doesn't close the door, there's hope.

"We need your help."

I see her eyes piecing trough us all, taking a bit longer over Finnick and Peeta before returning to Cressida. A almost unperceptive nod and a door fully open is enough for me to give her another look as I walk inside.

"I know you. You were one of the stylists at the Games..."

She smiles a sad smile.

"Not anymore. President Snow tough me repellent."

Now that I see her in full light and worried about helping us I can't agree with his assessment but how a woman could turn herself into an animal like form is hard to understand.

Tygris opens a small trapdoor on the floor of the store storage space, it's well hidden by all the clothes, and it's dark.

"Thank you, Tygris."

I move in and ste down into the small space. We are all in when Tygris closes the trapdoor and, by her moving about, I guess she's concealing it further. Only now I look around, there's no other way out, the space is small traped between cellars with any luck uncharted, a pile of fur fills one corner. They look too inviting... I'm tired, exhausted in fact.

"We should rest."

"You're right, Katniss. We are safe here..." Peeta smiles but he's as tired as I am.

"... and if we are not?" Gale planning for the worst.

"We are dead anyways." Finnick is already getting some furs ready.

Cressida, Castor, Pollux follow Finnick's lead, Peeta and me follow. Between the comfort of the furs and Peeta's arms I drift into a dreamless sleep of pure exhaustion.


	58. Planning the next move

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What remains of Squad 451 takes refuge on Tygris cellar but the arrangement has to be only temporally as their objective is to get to the City Circle and Snow.

Tygris reveals herself to be quite resourceful as the next morning we find ourselves siting in front of a counter with what, to us, feels like a banquet. Some cheese, some bread, some ham and it’s like heaven. Our own canned food is brought up but it’s as meager as it is tasteless.

Our hostess politely refuses our offer.

“I only heat raw meat and even that I need little. But thank you for the offer.”

“Tygris, how’s are things going for us... out there?”

The time underground had the ultimate disadvantage of all of us losing track of the days and of the how the Rebellion was going. Cressida’s question to Tygris had us all looking at her. She smiles.

“It’s going slow but we are getting closer to the City Circle. The pods are creating havoc in our front line though. Every tactic we use against them, they adjust the pods.”

“What do you mean adjust the pods?”

“Usually they are set to go off when someone steps close but they can change that. Pod now are being set off remotely. This way a Rebel Squad may be half trough the range of the pod and only then it goes off.”

Taking everyone with it, she doesn't need to say it, we can all understand their tactics even if they are revolting.

“As for you, all day they are showing your pictures everywhere. People are terrified. Who knows how anyone will react if they see you.”

“Thank you, Tygris.”

She looks a bit puzzled looking at me but then she understand what I’m thanking her for.

“President Snow as to be overthrown, Katniss. Many of us Capitol citizens know this.”

“But not all are brave enough to help do it.” Peeta fills in the gap. “You are risking a lot.”

“Yes, but the reward in the end is so tempting.”

We all smile.

 

It’s decided Tygris will be our eyes and hears on the outside until we figure out what to do next.

“What about your business?” it’s her survival.

“The business is slow, besides I do many house calls, people are scared to get out of their houses.”

“Even with the Rebels still far away?” Gale is puzzled by Capitol’s citizens cowardice.

“At this time it’s not the Rebels they fear. They fear you, and... you know, friendly fire can be as deadly as the rebels.”

Peacekeepers with a easy trigger finger… a menace on it’s own, specially to us.

“Besides in order to keep everyone in line President Snow speeches make them fear even their own shadows.”

“What about you? Aren’t you afraid?” Cressida fears for her fellow Capitol Rebel just like I do. Even in her strangeness I could see what drove Tygris and that she is true, she has been hurt, ostracized, for her it was time to stand up. I understood her.

“Me? They can hardly mistake me for any of you.”

We all had to smile.

“Now… I will leave the trapdoor concealed but if you apply enough force it will open.”

“We won’t need to do that.” Peeta is still smiling, giving her the assurance she needs to go out there.

“No… you won’t. I’ll be back in time for supper.”

 

The small light bulb is barely enough for us to distinguish faces. Inertia is dreadful to endure.

“We have to get to the City Circle, Peeta.”

“Yes, the question is how. It’s a safe zone, all entrances are heavily controlled even in average days, I can’t even imagine the security measures in place now.”

“I’m with Katniss. We need to get closer.” Gale still my hunting partner.

“Peeta’s right, Gale. That place is a fortress. Don’t get me wrong, I’m all for going in, but we have to think of the how.” From all of us Finnick is the one that knows the City Circle the better.

Gale is silent but I know him well enough to know he’s mind is not idle, quite the opposite. But he struggles with the lack of one key detail, accurate information on the target. The Holo can’t help as it only shows the perfect gardens and gates, seemingly open for the population, as it was before; but conditions must be quite different now.

“You both talked about tunnels, you escaped the Palace trough tunnels. Any chance we can go back in trough them?”

I feel Peeta’s shiver; Finnick answers Gale, his escape a successful one and so much uneventful.

“Maybe. I know, more or less, the area where we came out, so I guess we may go back in.”

“And that would take us where?” Gale enhances the Holo map and it now shows the Palace plan.

“Here… I’m almost sure of it.” Finnick points to a small room right next to the kitchen.

“Not a good place to come out, Gale.” I note "The kitchen will have servants, we can easily be heard."

“Peeta?”

“Yeah.” Peeta is just now coming out of some place only he sees. “I think I now where we came out. We entered the tunnel here.” He too points, but not inside the mansion, it's a small garden shed near the monumental staircase.

“Much safer place to get out.” Gale looks at the advantages of coming out in a place where there are almost no eyes or ears to spot us I, on the other hand, watch the small beads of sweat on Peeta's forehead.

"But it's out of the mansion, Gale. Even with the risk wouldn't it be better if we were already inside?" 

"You said it yourself, Katniss. It's riskier to go inside. The mansion must be filled of Peacekeepers..."

"That won't be expecting us sneaking in directly inside."

"Katniss..." I turn to Peeta that is too pale by now "Gale's right, falling directly inside the mansion is risky, it can mean falling directly into the hands of Snow. It's his turf."

As Finnick brings on his own opinion on the matter I whisper to Peeta.

"I can see it pains you to go back into that path, Peeta. Why are you backing that way in?"

"Because it's the only one I know, and it's the only one where I don't risk you behind trapped inside the mansion already at Snow's reach."

"It's settled then, will go in trough the garden." late Gale turns to Cressida, Castor and Pollux "Sorry, I..."

"I understand. You are thinking we will stay here and wait." Cressida cuts to the point. Leaving them behind will be sad but they will be safer here.

"It's too dangerous, for all of you."

"It's dangerous for you all too but we do understand..." she looks at Castor and Pollux "we agree on staying behind but... as soon as it is possible we will join you, no matter where the Rebel lines are. Someone has to show Panem what civilized people do to a rotten President."

You had to admire her bravery.

 

We hear steps upstairs, by the sound Tygris is back, my bow stays resting near our improvised bed.

"Come on up, I brought food."

And what a delicious food, beef stew, I wonder vaguely where she got it.

"Did you manage to contact anyone?"

"I tried but air waves are a war of their own, it's impossible to get our weak signal out. I did got the stew though."

Another Rebel, and, whoever it is, cooks pretty well.

"An how are things outside?" Gale is already thinking ahead.

"Capitol citizens are still keeping mostly to their homes only coming out if its totally impossible to avoid. Still one citizen was killed because some others though he was Peeta."

"What?" Peeta stops eating giving his full attention to the conversation.

"The poor kid wasn't even remotely like you."

"Panic creates mobs, mobs that can't think." Cressida understands public reactions, she has to doing what she does.

"Like sheep that follow each other even into dangerous fields." Castor reinforces Cressida statement.

"What about Peacekeepers?" Gale is back to the point.

"They do patrols but, so far, they are easy to avoid, if you don't get close to the City Circle, that is."

"How much of a fortress is the City Circle these days?" Finnick keeps a smile on his face, like he's asking a big joke and not the most important of details.

"The kind you can't even get close enough to see how much of a fortress it is."

"I figured as much."

Tygris looks at both Gale and Finnick.

"What are you planning?"

"Going in."

"That's suicide..." the shock in Tygris face is definitely human.

"Maybe... maybe not. We have more chance to infiltrate being few than an Army."

Tygris ponders a bit, looking at me and Peeta now, before I hear her sigh of acceptance.

"I'll help in anyway I can."

 


	59. Split up

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Katniss, Peeta, Gale and Finnick, disguised by Tygris, cross the Capitol to reach the tunnel they know will get them to the Presidential Mansion Gardens. But not everything goes according to plan.

For the second time in my life I fall asleep feeling safe and comfortable in Peeta's arms. Sleep comes quiet and peaceful so it's even more of a shock when suddenly I find myself back into the troubling nightmare of running trough endless mine corridors, this time with the added dread of the lizard shape, white, hissing creatures close behind me. Enough away not to grab me, enough close for me to fear they can at any moment. Waking up feels like a blessing.

Immediately I feel cold, my hand searches for Peeta but can't reach him. In my head, still half asleep, this confirms Peeta as been taken by the muts. I sit up, my eyes frantically searching for Peeta and for the muts under a curiously strange light that fills the room. It takes only a moment for my mind to processe where I am and that the light is the Holo.

Peeta sits, concentrated on the image emitted by the Holo. Around us everybody is asleep. My body is on alert, not for the muts but for the tense stillness I sense in Peeta. It takes siting by his side for him to notice I'm awake.

"Hi." his smile is an absent minded one.

I look at the map. The City Circle. He's worried, can't blame him.

"We'll succeed, Peeta." 

My eyes fixed on his giving him the reassurance I conjure up for him, wishing some of it may even be left for myself.

"If I manage to get us to the entrance of the tunnel."

"You will."

"Not so sure."

He points to a spot near the edge of the City Circle and about five blocks from us.

"The entrance is here. After some work I manage to recognize the buildings around it."

And immediately I know what is troubling him. We will be too close to the City Circle.

"The City Circle is a fortress, we will be too close to one of it's "walls"."

"Yes, and... see here?"

Peeta points to a big Avenue. I know that Avenue, it leads to the main entrance to the City Circle. It's mostly for parades but its also the biggest entrance to the Circle and undoubtedly it will be well guarded.

"We have to cross it, Katniss."

We would be spot immediately if we do it in day light.

"It would be better if we cross it by night, Peeta."

"That would make enter the tunnel at night and exit it at night which, theoretically would be a good thing except..."

"... four citizen walking around in the middle of the night will be immediately noticed."

"We have to go out by day when we'll be just four more in the crowd. But we have to blend in or it won't work."

I smile.

"We have  one of the best Capitol stylist, Peeta. Tygris will help. I'm sure of it."

 

The store counter, just a few moments ago a breakfast table, is filled with furs. Tygris puts our plan into action. I watch her work, amazed by the way she turns a small piece of fabric into a beautiful cape, or adds what seem to be detail but are in fact means for us to conceal ourselves.

Concealing us is hard enough but Tygris really reveals herself worthy of the title of great stylist when she manages to conceal also our weapons.

"I'll make an inside pocket for the Holo in your cape, Gale."

"Gale... I don't think we should take the Holo we are going."

"We have no choice, Catnip." I feel Peeta react to Gale's use of the nick name. Come to think of it it's the first time Gale as used it in front of Peeta. Gale doesn't notice Peeta's change of stance "We need the information it gives and we may need it as an explosive."

"It will be too close for us to do that, Gale." Peeta isn't all that calm yet and the statement comes out almost like an accusation; this time Gale figures something isn't right but I see him puzzling over what can it be.

"That hardly matters if it is also close to Snow." The seemingly suicidal way Finnick stops the argument before it even raises sends a chill trough me.

"Finnick..."

He turns to me smiling.

"I can run very very fast." he winks trying to ease my concern.

While we talk Tygris doesn't remain idle and the mirror shows a Katniss Everdeen as I expect I would look if I had been born in the Capitol; a beautiful, dreamlike, reddish cape of fur with hood, so soft it doesn't even feel like clothing. The hood covers my head and face, the cape my bow and arrows. Peeta blond hair remains covered by the dark hood, a long coat concealing his figure, and his knife. Gale wears a cape, just like me, but his has a kind of belt marking the waist, and adding support to the Holo. As for Finnick, a shorter version of the trident was easily conceal under a coat but he wants to carry a long knife to and Tygris has a hard time to tackle that and still keeping Finnick's movements loose. In the end we meet the approving smile from Cressida, Castor and Pollux.

It's almost lunch time and, according to Tygris, Capitol citizens will all be out and about, at least the ones brave enough, or needy enough, to not stay locked up at home. 

The four of us leave the store and imerse ourselves in the streets filled with people going about there business. Peeta leads the way with Gale by his side, attentive on every vibration or sound from the Holo; Finnick and I follow close by, watching for any Peacekeepers that move our way.

"It's your first time in the Capitol isn't it?"

I nod.

"It's not what they show on TV, my friend."

"There's a war on it's door step."

Like him I avoid speaking his name; who knows who can hear us.

"Even in better days it's not what they show on TV. There's to much dirt within these walls, take it from me."

"Think that will ever change?"

Finnick considers for a moment.

"Don't know if they can behave any different, it's part of who they are."

"So what's your solution?"

I hear his small laugh.

"I have one but you won't like it."

He would kill them all. He's right I don't like it but for some reason I also don't like the fact Finnick, that only met me a few months ago, knows me this well.

"Why do you say that?"

"In the last months I could assess that much about you."

"A few months is hardly enough to know a person."

"Don't tell me you would like it?" 

I can see the Avenue, we'll enter it in the next intersection.

"We'll see."

Gale and Peeta reach the middle of the Avenue as Finnick and I take our first set into it. A sound alerts us on the right, we stop, just like everyone else in the Avenue. Peacekeepers, stretching from side to side of the Avenue are exiting the City Circle. I look at Peeta and Gale that have now joined the running citizens taking cover on the side streets opposite us. To my relief they reach the side street safely. For a moment I forget my own situation and it takes them both looking back at us, trapped on this side, for me to notice Finnick pulling me back to the safety of the street we had just exit. Capitol citizens are now at our side, curious, they stand in wait of what is coming.

A Pecekeeper takes position in front of the street, preventing anyone from going into the Avenue. We are trapped, at least for a while, we have no choice but wait and wish they will let everyone go without anymore detail review of the citizens waiting.

The sound of moving trucks calls our attention to the Avenue. It's a military convoy. And endless stream of tanks and Peacekeepers go by. We know exactly where they are going. I look at Gale and I can see the how his fighting to keep still, not to bomb the convoy; I shake my head, he sees me, so does Peeta that only now understands what's in Gale's mind; I see Peeta whisper something in Gale's ear and the tension in Gale's stance diminishes; the worse is over.

The convoy takes what feels like hours and  we wait as patiently as we can. Some Capitol citizens, not use to be treated this way, on the other hand are losing patience.

"How much time do I have to wait? I have an appointment."

Voices of support are hear around and behind us.

The Peacekeeper doesn't answer but I can tell he's getting annoyed for being questioned.

"I have a business to run. I can't be here all day." another voice, this one angrier.

"You will wait."

"Rude. I have rights you know. What's your name? I know the President personally I will report you."

The Pecekeeper doesn't answer but the guy presses on. I feel and dread what I know is coming next.

"Your papers."

What I fear happens, the Peacekeeper starts asking for papers and checking people identities. On the other side, far away to be of any help, Peeta and Gale look across to us in horror, I see Gale's hand on Peeta's arm stopping him from running to me.

"We have to leave."

Finnick whispers in my ear. He's right, I send a torn look at Peeta and slowly follow Finnick just like Peeta follows Gale as the Peacekeeper on their side also turn to the people waiting. In the middle of the commotion, the trouble maker will, most definitely, be a guest of President Snow in a few minutes, we manage to escape into a side street.

"Should we wait and then cross after them?"

"It's not safe to stay here, Katniss."

People were all waiting, for now, but soon two citizens lingering would be noticed.

"I won't go back, Finnick."

"Then what?"

"The convoy will end eventually, will cross then."

"They are gone, Katniss."

"Can't we follow them?"

"I don't know the way."

Noise from the crowd reaches us, sounds of pain, people run by us in panic.

"Run..."

Someone screams. We don't need a second notice as two Peacekeepers come into my line of sight.

"Follow me."

I run after Finnick, my hand on the bow, afraid it will fall to the ground. We run with others for a few blocks; alone, we stop.

Catching my breath the only thing I can think of is Peeta inside that corridor and that I'm not going to be there to give him the support he needs.

"We need to go back to them, Finnick."

"I know. Did Peeta tell you where the entrance was?"

"He showed me in the map." The Holo... Gale has it."Which is useless because we don't have the Holo."

We stroll aimlessly.

"We know where they are heading."

"Yes. Are you thinking..."

"I see no other way. Do you?"

In fact no, I don't.

"Lead the way, Finnick."

We have to go in trough Finnick's tunnel. The only place we know we can rejoin Gale and Peeta is Snow's Mansion.


	60. Risky move

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Katniss and Finnick reach the Mansion where Katniss finds Finnick is willing to risk all to get Snow. Set on joining Peeta and Gale she find herself alone following Finnick's directions to the staircase outside. All seems to be going well untill she finds an old acquaintance.

Light fading catches me by surprise. The tall buildings unnaturally shade us from daylight faster than expected; streets start to become empty and soon we will be the only ones outside, I rush after Finnick. He keeps a calm but speedy pace, enhanced by his long legs, that makes me go in an almost run just to keep up.

I have no idea where we are heading. In this strange city I'm forced to trust Finnick, following him to an unknown way in to the most dangerous of all places, the lion's den, the President's Mansion.

Finnick stops in front of a dark door, almost invisible, the only one in this unlit alley.

"We're here."

I look up, around, on to the street. No Peacekeepers, no citizens, only shades of people moving on the other side of curtains; Finnick forces the door open, the stink of air heavy by excess moist reaches my nostrils and I know he's successful.

"Wait here..."

My attention stays on our surroundings but my hand is already on an arrow.

"Come on."

Finnick's voice is low but it echoes the corridor; I run inside, closing the door after one last glimpse outside, once last breath of clean air.

As our eyes get accustom to the dark the only thing I see are shades; its enough to move on but not enough to spot dangers that can be lurking in. Finnick isn't even stopping to consider, is already moving, more carefully than he did outside with a steadiness that gives me some reassurance.

The corridor is cold and I mentally thank Tygris for the fur cape. As we move forward Finnick becomes more and more careful and focused. We don't speak and keep to the silent hunting tread; I smile thinking of Peeta, this silent pace would make him struggle; Finnick's hand stops my advance; remnants of light reach us, we are getting close.

Slowly, step by step, we get to the next corner. Light is now more visible, it frames a door up ahead, we stand quiet listening in to all sounds.

Muffled voices reach us, then clatter.

"Clumsy, Avox. Pick it up."

The order is muffled by the door but the words are clear enough. It's the kitchen, we are inside the Mansion... the joyous feel fades fast, I'm inside Snow's Mansion. Finnick moves to the door putting an ear to it. I wait for his go ahead but as I move one step closer light turns to dark and I'm blind again. Before my eyes adjust I hear the door opening; wishing it's Finnick, dreading it's a guard.

The shade of shelves is the first thing I see in front of me, Finnick gestures me in. It's some kind of pantry, Finnick is already listening in through another door. He gestures me silent and to take cover, I do and reach for my bow and arrow, he shakes his head and I hide back the bow.

Seconds, minutes, go by until Finnick pulls the door open just enough to see what lays behind it. There's no light on the other side. Finnick closes back the door before joining me.

"Behind the door it's the corridor that connects the kitchen to the rest of the house. I can't see any guard around. I think we can reach Snow's quarters."

What?

"We need to go to Gale and Peeta, Finnick, that's why we are here."

"I'm here to get Snow and finish this all thing off, Katniss."

"After..."

"No after. We are so close. I will not go back, Katniss, not when I have a real chance to get Snow."

The proximity to his nemesis is blinding Finnick.

"Moving in alone is suicide, Finnick."

"But I'm not alone, I have the Mockingjay with me." I sense his smile.

Getting to Snow before Peeta and Gale arrive, keeping them both safe and out of harm's way is tempting, too tempting.

"He will be well guarded, Finnick, we will never get close enough."

"You don't need to get close enough, you just need to have a clear shot."

He's right, except...

"Inside a house they are the same thing."

"You don't know this house."

"Which is another difficulty to be considered."

"I do though. Well enough to know it's more dangerous to go outside then to move in for the kill."

"What?"

"The guards are all out there trying to keep us out, Katniss, no one would even think about us being already in."

I feel a chill.

"Peeta... G..."

"I tried to call their attention to this fact but, for some reason, Gale keeps thinking the entrances to the City Circle are more strategic than the Mansion."

I'm not even listening I can only think of Peeta and Gale trapped outside, caught by the guards, by the Peacekeepers.

"We'll move on Snow when we are together again, not before." 

Getting to Peeta and Gale is turning increasingly urgent.

I sense more than see Finnick is upset but his voice doesn't show it.

"Do as you like. At the end of the corridor go left, you will get to a big room, you have to cross it, enter the library and from there the veranda, go right and you will find the staircase. Good luck."

"No, Finnick. I won't let you kill yourself... Annie, needs you."

I know it's a low blow but I have to stop him.

"I know, Katniss, and you can't even imagine how much it hurts knowing that by doing what I must I may not get back to her, ever again, but she also needs to live without that monster in her life. It may be the last thing I do but I will do it, for both of us."

Before I can think of another way to stop him, he's gone and all I see is darkness. I have no choice anymore, not that I ever did really; getting to Peeta and Gale is now not only urgent to save them but also to try and help Finnick finish up Snow before he gets killed.

I follow Finnick's instructions and arrive the big room he talked about. Its not only big but grand, six houses the size of my mother's house in 12 would fit in here and we would still have room. There's light here, dim but enough for me to be seen by anyone attentive enough. I try to keep in the shade and, after what seems like hours, manage to reach the door to the library. Books fill the walls, right up to the ceiling, but my mind hardly registers, as it focus on the door to the veranda. Still keeping in the shadows I step closer until... I go blind. Someone lit up the room and it's bright, too bright for my eyes after all the darkness.

"Well, well, I think I caught a Mockinjay."

I don't need to see, the voice is enough to freeze me to the core... Thread.


	61. President Snow

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Katniss Everdeen meets President Snow.

I watch the man in front of me. With out his uniform Thread looks different but there are tell tale signs that it is him; the cruel smile that lights up his face, the whip he keeps fiddling, tasting the lash even before its issued.

"The President is waiting for you."

The smile almost trows me off, if I didn't knew better I would believe they knew our plan all along.

Movement to my sides, Peacekeepers. There's no need for them I know when there's no escape and in this moment, alone, facing 12's Head Peacekeeper I know I'm trapped.

Like a hunter than as taken a prize prey, Thread's smile lingers on his lips as he leads me through corridor after corridor. I know Finnick is somewhere in one of them but I avoid even looking out, fearing a mere glimpse may denounce him.

Thread stops in front of the biggest door I've ever seen, majestic wood, oak maybe, with golden work on it. His knock is so polite and soft I immediately know who's inside.

"Enter."

President Snow, even trough the tick door I recognize his voice.

Thread opens the door ordering me in. My steps are firm, no hesitation or sign of weakness can be shown even if inside I feel anything but.

"Ah, Ms Everdeen. We have been expecting you."

The President acts like he's welcoming a long expected visitor, his expression would be of a benevolent grand father if it weren't for his eyes; beady shining eyes like a snake lurking in the tall grass waiting for the prey to come closer.

"Please sit."

Tells the spider to the fly... the smell of trap is so potent I don't understand how it doesn't tinge the air we breath. I sit on the chair, under Thread watchful eye, facing Snow, in front of the big desk filled with nicely order papers, it all feels unreal. Snow is also looking at me but he's studying, like I would a prey in the woods.

“I'm at quite a disadvantage, Ms Everdeen.”

He waits for my sympathetic reaction, I have none to offer, from where I stand he has all the advantage and I'm just a rabbit caught in a snare. His smile turns more “sweet”, at least that's what it looks like he's trying to do, it only adds to my certainty that he has something planed for me.

“You are among friends, Ms Everdeen. You can speak your mind.”

There's only one thing in my mind.

“What's going to happen to me?”

He manages to look surprised by my question.

“You're my guest, Mr Everdeen. You will be treated as such.”

From the corner of my eye I can see Thread smile growing stronger; I hide a shiver.

“We are all very pleased to welcome you. In fact there's one more person that is specially eager to meet you.”

If I talk I'm sure my voice won't be as steady as it should.

“Aren't you curious to know who it is?”

“Yes.”

“Caesar Flickerman. In fact he's expecting you.”

And I know what he wants from me. He wants to show me for all Panem to watch I'm caught, I'm at his mercy.

“He's eager to interview you. To register your take on all this... this senseless killing. You know we are all concerned by the huge casualties the Districts are suffering.”

A screen comes to light between us, I didn't even notice Snow flipping a switch but he must have; the moment the images become clear I know he was sitting on this footage right from the start. But I'm not surprised to see Squad 451, still complete, running for protection, we knew we were being tapped on the Square as soon as we triggered the pod. I try not to look at anyone particular or show much interest, but my eyes keep wondering to Peeta, I miss him just as hard as I thank the fact he's not here with me facing Snow.

I guess the images don't have the desired effect because with a flick, just before we run inside the building, the screen jumps to the Train Station. And this time my reaction doesn't escape his notice.

“We control every inch of the Capitol, Ms Everdeen.”

The battered bodies of tired soldiers are scattered on the platforms, I recognized 13's uniforms but they mingle in a sea of different clothes, all invariably baring a Squad number.

“Your leaders may think they have control but, believe me, Ms. Everdeen, we know all the steps they plan to take even before they happen.”

The image flips again and we are on a street. A Squad moves forward, I know the one taking point and I'm stunned, it's Johanna.

“It's sad to see Panem heroes fall like this.”

I don't hear him, I don't care about his lies I just need to know whats going to happen to Johanna. She seems fine, gun on hand, the a small ax hanging from her waist almost makes me smile before I recall where I am. The screams shock me more than surprise me, I was expecting something of the kind, Snow wouldn't just be just showing me Johanna he has no way of knowing we became friends. The image enlarges the view and I see it, the pod was there but triggered later than expected hitting the end of the Squad and trapping the rest.

“More dead, Ms Everdeen, it needs to stop or Panem will cease to exist. Panem is their people, their citizens.”

And slaves I add mentally.

“If we keep killing each other there won't be a Panem anymore.”

I stop myself before telling him it will all end if he steps down, it would do me no good and, besides, I really don't know if, at this point, that would indeed stop anything.

“Like me, all citizens are worried, even Caesar, so he's willing to help stop all this but we also need your help.”

His eyes pierce me working to force my will to bend to his needs.

“I just want to stop the killing.” he adds.

I too want to stop the killing, and he sees that much which makes him smile again; I also want him gone, now more than ever, that escapes his notice, to my relief.

“I'm glad you understand. Commander Thread will escort you to Caesar.”

I feel Thread hand on my arm, I don't fight it in fact I wish for it as it will take me away from here.

“Now you behave with Caesar and we'll soon have you back with your mother and sister.”

And I know he too is lying. They have no way of knowing they are even still alive after the destruction of 12.

 


	62. Katniss interview with Caesar Flickerman

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sure of her faith, secretly unwilling to do President Snow's biding, Katniss is introduced to Caesar Flickerman always under the watchful eye of Head Peacekeeper Thread.

A small tinge of happiness hits me when I understand Thread isn't walking me out of the Mansion, Caesar is not on a studio outside. I take it as a sign that the Rebels are closer than Snow wishes me to think.

This time Thread doesn't knock, the door opens on a strange looking group, their hair from orange to pink, all surrounding someone siting on a chair. I wait, already guessing who's sitting there; Thread is a man with a mission though.

“Ms Everdeen, Mr Flickerman.”

A short blue haired man jumps out of the chair making the small flock scatter, not that they go far, rather they stand, hovering, like they are frozen to the spot, their eyes on me. I do not welcome the attention.

“Ms Everdeen.” Caesar's eyes are also on me but from him I can't shy away. “Such a beautiful face. Peeta has good taste.”

Seeing Caesar is a shock; up close I can tell he's so much older than he appeared to be when I watch him from 12. Some creme like paste, the color of skin, makes a tick mask over his face covering his actual skin, of that we can only see a few spots, not enough to even know it's true shade; his ears, usually covered by hair, are the tell tale sign of his actual age  and that's how I can tell for sure he's old; his hair, colorful as ever, is like a wig, I'm not even sure if it isn't in fact a wig. As he takes a step to me I can feel my skin crawling, reacting to a touch it didn't even happen.

“Come, come.” Caesar takes my hand after a glimpse to Thread “Sit here, my team will get you ready.”

The flock comes back, like flies to honey, and I'm the honey. I feel drown in a sea of bright colors and cooing voices, no matter how they handle it and how they coo me I hate prep.

“Ready?” Caesar asks a pink haired women.

“To the best of our capability with the resources at hand.”

“Yes.” Caesar studies my face, he's not all that happy “Well... it will have to do.”

“Move it along, Flickerman. President Snow is almost done.” Thread seems to be running the show and sticking to the plan.

“Yes, yes, very well.” Caesar hardly looks at Thread but I can see he's frighten by the Head Peacekeeper, that much we have in common “Now, my dear, you know why you are here don't you?”

My mouth opens to say No but Thread admonishes Caesar once more.

“She knows she has to behave and follow your lead, now lead.”

This time I can see not only fear but anger in Caesar's eyes.

A voice behind the camera starts to count.

“5, 4, 3, 2...” from then on he just gestures with his fingers and as soon as he reaches zero a red light over the camera comes on and a familiar smile appears plastered on Caesar's face.

“Good evening. I'm so excited with my guest tonight, excited even more for the honor of making her known to all of you. You know her as a brave girl that fought for her life, but you knew her before then even if none of us... me included...” he talks to the camera like he's telling a secret to a friend “...knew who she was, by then we called her Mockingjay, Peeta Mellark's sweetheart... Katniss Everdeen.”

The smile doesn't come to my lips, it has no reason to.

“Welcome, Katniss. May I call you Katniss?”

The light on top of the camera reminds me I'm on every screen in Panem, Prim must be watching and worrying.

“Yes.” my voice a bit louder than a whisper.

The increasing worry in Caesar's eyes recedes.

“Now, Katniss, tell us, we are all curious, how did you met Peeta?”

The last thing I want is share personal details with all Panem.

“At School.”

“Yes, yes. Peeta talked about that in the Games, you were singing.”

It's impressive how he manages to omit Rue.

“Yes.”

“Can you sing to us a bit?”

“I don't sing anymore.”

His smile turns to sadness so fast I'm left considering if any emotion is real.

“Please. You are among friends and I'm sure I speak for all when I say we would love to hear the voice that caught Peeta Mellark's heart.”

His mention of Peeta's heart, the memory of Peeta's confession that my singing was the start of everything we have now, the fact I may never see him again, makes me want to cry and so I sing... not for Caesar, not for Panem, but for Peeta; Peeta will understand my song, he will know I was thinking about him. I watch as Caesar winning smile turns loopy and then extinguishes itself as the meaning of the Hunging Man song gets trough. I see Thread trying to move in but, gladly, he can't, we are on the air and Caesar himself insisted I sang.

As the song comes to a close I sit still, waiting, for Thread, for Caesar, for something to happen. It's a lost Caesar that speaks.

“Well... that is a beautiful voice.” and the smile is up again “More than a few hearts can be conquered by it, isn't it folks?”

He's back on the talk with invisible people, the ones watching on the other side of the screens, I'm amazed on how he does it so naturally.

“Now tell me how are you liking the Mansion?”

I guess talking about Peeta as been voted out as a way to show they captured me and have me at their mercy.

“Quite nice, at least the part I did see.”

“So they made you a tour of it?”

“I explored it a bit, before.”

"By yourself?"

Caesar is so surprised I don't think he's processing that this line of questioning isn't what Snow want's.

"Yes."

“Oh? That sounds exciting.” Thread is furious and Caesar finally understood this line of questioning isn't to Snow's liking “And you saw the President, what a great honor.”

I'm sure no one can tell by my face. The words came out in automatic.

“Yes.”

My monosyllabic conversation reminds me of his interview with Thresh.

“So... any details?”

“President Snow is everything I expected he would be.”

“I'm sure that's a very good thing.” he knows it's not, so do the Rebels, so does Thread. He moves forward and isn't stopping this time, except, some how he does, not stop but freeze completely and with a strange twist he falls to the ground.

Blood tinges his back and Finnick's trident.

Caesar jumps from his seat.

"Finnick Odair, it's a pleasure to see you again."

I walk to Thread, his heart as stop beating, I take my bow and ready one arrow, turning to serve as Finnick's backup. 

“Nice to see you again too, Caesar. Now can you move inside?” Finnick manages to keep things civil but i can feel his stress.

"What will you do to us?" 

Finnick looks at me.

"Us? Nothing. Rebel forces are under order not to harm civilians. As for your President and his Peacekeepers... you know better than me. Now move... all of you... inside."

We close the door to the windowless directors room leaving everyone safely locked inside. Thread's body is left untouched except for the retrieving of my bow and arrows he was keeping as a prize for my capture.

“Now can we go and finish the mission?” 

It' difficult to say no to Finnick after he risked his life to save mine but... I must.

“No. We have to get...”

The red light above the camera is still on, with all the commotion the operator forgot to turn it off. All Panem saw what happen, more importantly, Snow, every Peacekeeper saw what happen. 

“Damn... let's go... now.”


	63. The Mighty and Powerful

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hunted, afraid for Peeta and Gale, Katniss convinces Finnick to move on and get to them before they fall into the arms of the Peacekeepers that are combing the Mansion for Katniss and Finnick.  
> In silence Finnick and Katniss hear a conversation between Snow and Coin.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Personal Note: I want to apologize for the delay of this Chapter, my laptop (that was acting up a bit before) decided to die on me. It took me a bit more time than expect to get it back and running, hopefully for good. Thank you for all your patience.

Outside the sound of Peacekeepers boots hitting the pavement in an energetic and fast pace  reaches us. They are still far away but closing in on us fast. Finnick runs towards the corridor opposite the one Thread had guided me trough, there’s no way we are going to be able to get back to Snow’s office. We run until the sound of our hunters ceases.

As Finnick tries door knobs I scan the hall for cameras, the ever present eye of President Snow may be watching us; there is a camera and I have no way to tell where it’s pointing at the moment, the sound of a door opening on my back sends a short spike of relief through me, relief only consolidated when we close the door behind us and find a room camera free. 

It’s a small room, brings up memories of the room where I met Peeta before he was sent to the Games, a room rarely used but kept tidy. Finnick keeps close to the door, watchful of any movements outside in the hall, I walk to the curtains, prying carefully trough the small gap between them. The view baffles me, the shocking opposite to the dark reality inside. The sun is bright, I see birds flying, their chirps more sensed than heard, muffled by the double glass door, and the garden; blooming flowers, colorful, perfect. 

For a moment I forget where I am, for a moment I experience the beauty I never knew existed. 

“I think we’re good, at least for now.” 

Finnick joins me looking outside. 

“Can we reach the staircase from here, Finnick?” 

A balcony extends in front of the door but is it the right one? 

“It’s risky…” 

He’s still set on getting Snow. 

“There’s no way we can cross undetected the Mansion and reach Snow, Finnick.” 

"Quite the contrary, by now every Peacekeepers is hunting us, last place they would think of us being is Snow's office." 

"Because it's suicide, Finnick." 

Finnick manages to smile. 

"I remember you saying that before. Turns out your plan was even more of a suicidal move." 

"Maybe so but I was the one that was closer to Snow, the one that saw how difficult it is to get to his office." 

His face turns hard and focused. 

"You were in his office?" 

"Yes." 

"Where?" 

"I don't remember enough to draw you a map, Finnick, and I'm not going with you." 

Not when the balcony, the stairs, Peeta, Gale were so very close. 

"Downstairs? Upstairs?" 

"Downstairs." 

He looks disappointed. 

"What's wrong?" 

"Must be inside the bunker." 

"There were windows, it wasn't a bunker." 

"Still it's downstairs, more protected." He turns his attention to the window "Can we get there trough the balcony?" 

I have to take his mind off Snow or Peeta and Gale are doomed. 

"Have you consider the fact that by now Peeta and Gale maybe entering a fully alerted Mansion?" 

By the shocked look on his face the idea hadn't occurred to him yet. 

"Friends before revenge? Is it, Katniss?" 

"Loved ones always come first, Finnick, always." 

I know he understands and after a moment I watch as he returns his attention to the balcony. 

"You are right. Peeta and Gale are probably already in the Gardens, our only chance to stop them before they are caught is meet them before they get inside the Mansion." 

"We will have no cover outside, Finnick." 

Finnick goes back to the wooden door to the hall, opens it enough to hear the Peacekeepers still searching the Mansion; by the sound of the doors opening and closing they are searching room to room. 

"It will take them time to search every room, if we stay near the wall we will be alright... I think." 

I walk to the window, the garden no longer catches my attention, instead I keep on a look out for any movement. Carefully I open the window, ready an arrow on the bow and step outside.

We keep a silent hunters thread, moving especially careful when crossing windows. Window after window the curtains keep pulled and closed shading the inside. Night is starting to crawl in and I ache to speed up my pace, but I can't, I can't risk being caught, not again. 

A light comes on a few windows up ahead, our pace turns even lighter. A voice reaches us and I freeze turning to Finnick, he's as puzzled as I am. 

"Snow."  

"Coin."  

"Are you surrendering?" 

"You think you have won?" 

"It's just a matter of time, Snow. The only question is are you going to survive or not." 

Snow laugh reaches us. 

"Do you really want the mob you sent to do your dirty work to take the power?" 

The issuing silent is answer enough for me. 

"I'm glad we understand each other." 

"We will held elections, Snow." 

"Elections can be manipulated, Coin. Don't deceive yourself by thinking I don't know how you got elected in 13." 

"I respect my citizens, Snow." 

It's Snow turn to be silent but something sets off Coin. 

"What do you want?" 

"Free passage." 

It's Coin laugh we hear now. 

"To where? Who will have you?" 

"13, of course." 

"What? You are not serious." 

"Oh but I am. I propose an exchange I will turn over the power to you and you will provide me protection, for the rest of my life." 

I wait expecting Coin's laugh, it doesn't come. 

"It's not and easy thing you are asking." 

"I'm paying a high price, Coin." 

The silence lasts and I wish I could glimpse inside. 

"I'll have to get back to you on that, Snow." 

"You do that, Coin." His tone changes, Coin is no longer hearing "You do that." 

Night hides our figures and we progress, silent but so wishing to talk. I'm not sure if the conversation was real, I find myself needing Finnick to confirm what my own ears listen to. 


	64. Nightmares can become real

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Katniss and Finnick reach the Shed. Finnick in disbelief of what he just hear as is Katniss but she's far more worried about Peeta and Gale. A sound behind a wall and they find Gale and a Peeta immerse in nightmares. As Katniss manages to return Peeta to reality she finds nightmares can become real.

An explosion makes me stop. Against the growing dark sky the orange outburst of light serves as warning of how close the frontline is; Finnick presses me to move on, the staircase just in front of us. 

We search for some sign of Peeta or Gale; inside the Mansion the search has moved to the top floor leaving a track of lighted windows. 

"Do you see them?" 

My voice a whisper muffled by sound of gunfire somewhere  on the other side of the gates. 

"No." 

With a look to make sure no Peacekeeper or camera will spot me I rush to the staircase and, keeping myself on the protection of it's stone rails run down to the small garden shed Peeta had pointed in the Holo; all I can think of, all I can wish for is finding him there, safe. 

In haste I enter the small shed; to find only dark and silence. Finnick closes the door behind us breaking the silence. 

"Was that...? Did you...?" 

Worry fils my mind making Finnick's questions hard to process, it takes me a moment to remember what he's asking about. 

"Coin and Snow." 

I answer more to myself than to Finnick. 

"I never trusted the women but I must say I didn't expect this level of betrayal." 

"You think she will accept Snow's proposal?" 

"He's offering her Panem, Katniss, and the end of the war. What do you think?" 

"I just know what I want, Finnick, I want to go back to 12 with Peeta and live there for the rest of my days, in peace." 

Finnick looks trough me like, as I talk, he too foresees a resembling future for himself; a future he his dreamy eye tell me wants and needs  but then a spark of pain comes and obliterates the happy vision and anger grows taking over. 

"It will be impossible to do that while Snow is breathing, Katniss, he's manipulative and cunning, he'll find a way to get the upper hand. Hell, looks like Coin herself is going to be his upper hand." 

Manipulative and cunning, yes he is but so is Coin. Muffled voices from behind the back wall make us both run to it, silencing my rebout. 

In the dark our hands are the only thing we can trust to find some indentention, some tell tale that there is a door in the wall. 

"Got it." 

The vile smell of moist air reaches me, Finnick managed to open the trapdoor. 

"Peeta... Gale..."  

My low voice echoes the corridor. 

"Katniss?" 

Gale sounds distressed and I run inside fighting Finnick hand in my arm, pulling me back. 

"Katniss." 

He must hear my steps as I run through the corridor, he sounds closer. 

"I'm here." 

I speak up hoping for him to guide me as I turn a corner but the only thing I feel are his arms around me. 

"So glad you're here."  

Gale whispers in my ear as I rejoice that they are safe. 

"What happen?" 

Finnick asks as he comes to a stop by my side and I search the darkness behind Gale. 

"Where's Peeta?" I grab Gale's arm "Gale, where's Peeta?" 

"He lost it, Katniss, he keeps seeing things that aren't there, fighting things I can't see. So sorry, Katniss." 

"Where?" 

"Back there, Katniss, I left him when I heard you." 

I run leaving Finnick and Gale behind. 

"Peeta... Peeta..." 

Gale didn't lie he's just around the next corner; his back to me, his blade frightening the darkness. 

"Peeta..." 

"Stay back. It's not safe." 

I walk closer, his eyes lost and harden far beyond anything I've ever seen. 

"Peeta, it's me. Katniss." 

The small spark of recognition makes me hope. 

"It's not safe, they are coming." 

"Who? Who's coming?" 

His eyes don't leave the darkness. 

"Mutts. They won't stop until we are all dead." 

Softly I set my hand on his arm, I fell his strain to repel the touch but my hand keeps firm and he comes to accept it. 

"Peeta, look at me." 

I step in front of him blocking his view. He's not seeing me only darkness. 

"Peeta, look at me."  

The blade, too close, makes Gale and Finnick react but I stop them with a glimpse. Peeta won't hurt me, I know he won't. 

"Peeta." I rest my hand on his face "it's me, Katniss." 

The light starts to flow into his eyes. 

"Katniss..." 

"I'm here. We are the only ones here." 

His weary eyes look behind me, one more time. 

"But... they were there... right there. The same mutts that got..." 

I can't let him go back. 

"Not anymore, Peeta. We are all alone here." 

The whistle and following blast makes us hold on for our lives and snap Peeta into full awareness as he pulls me to him. Debris starts to crumble from the ceiling. 

"We must move. NOW." 

We all  run towards the shed as my worst nightmare becomes real and the tunnel comes crumbling down over us.


	65. Snow's escape

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Rebels are already outsider of the gate, Peacekeepers are busy there both controlling the crowd of frighten Capitol citizens and defending the Mansion. Taking advantage of their distraction Katniss, Peeta, Gale and Finnick move on Snow's office. Further away Katniss hears something unexpected, it's something she recognizes immediately, Snow's get a away.

The once quiet garden shed is now anything but, the sound of the collapsing tunnel makes me shiver against a strangely quiet Peeta. Gale and Finnick close the door to the tunnel fighting the falling debris. 

Outside the sound for gunfire reaches us but it's still far away. 

"The Rebels are close, that was ours." 

Gale's information comes up empty to me, it almost killed us, the fact it's ours is of no consolation, still its an indication of how close the Rebels are and how much time do we have.

I exchange a glimpse with Finnick, if we don't get Snow, fast, he may escape and we will never get him. Finnick understands, I can tell by the way he straitens himself and his eyes turn cold and unattached. 

"We should move." 

I want to but Peeta as me locked in his arms, moving in an effort to get up only makes him lock his arms even tighter. 

"Peeta..." Only now I see his eyes. He's still far away, in protective mode but far away from me. 

"Peeta. It's okay. We're alright." 

No sound leaves his mouth. 

Finnick joins me. 

"What wr..."  

He doesn't need to finish he can see the darkness in Peeta's eyes. 

"We can't stay here, Katniss. We must go." Finnick whispers, concern and urgency riddling his few words.

"NO. They are there, waiting... for us, to get us." 

Peeta's voice is stressed and comes out in a harsh almost whisper. 

For once none of us is sure enough to tell him he's mistaken but staying here is not an option. We are trapped, no way to escape except trough the door to the garden and the staircase. A glimpse to Finnick and he backs up, joining Gale that is scowling the dark outside the door. 

I ease myself in Peeta's arms gently brushing is face like I did a thousand times before, in the trees, by the Meadow, resting my head on his shoulder aware of the speedy heart beat, fighting it with my own calm breath. A moment of quiet surrounded by madness. 

After a while Peeta's arms become less binding I don't struggle to get up, I keep being the gentle quiet present he needs right now. Peeta needs the calm, as far as I am concern Snow can wait. 

I find I can move a little more and take the opportunity to kiss him, just like I would in 12, bringing forth happier memories to fight bad ones. At first Peeta doesn't engage me but softly I conjure up a reaction that builds beyond anything I expected, until we both need air. 

Like a man brought out of a nightmare Peeta's eyes take in our surroundings. The now closer gunfire sound makes him pull up dragging me with him. 

"We have to move. It's not safe in here." 

I find relief in both Gale and Finnick's eyes, for my part I'm just glad they waited. 

"Dawn is coming, soon we won't have the cover of darkness to jump up the stairs." 

"What's the plan?" I ask addressing both Gale and Finnick. 

"I'm with Finnick we must get Snow." 

"Get to his office, even trough the window it's a risky move, Finnick." 

My dialog is with Finnick now as Gale is obviously following his plan. 

"The option is that or go inside and, as far as I'm concerned going inside the Mansion is not even and option." 

"The all Mansion is on alert after you're get away." Gale makes it sound like it's my fault and I don't like it one bit. 

"Can we stick to the problem at hand?" Peeta ends the pointless discussion but I can tell he didn't like Gale's tone neither. 

"Peeta's right we are losing dark." Finnick seems to be pulling Gale's strings as the decision to move out and reach Snow's office using the balcony is set and put into action without further discussion. 

Outside I find a new reality; in the garden, once dominated by beauty, a big crater, like a wound, calls all our attention. 

It was a lucky strike, I doubt the bomb target were the gardens, it was probably the gate. On the other side of the gate the lights shine over people, a lot of people, maybe thousands, children are the ones closer to the gate and those are the ones I see, frighten children trying to reach the gate against Peacekeeper barriers. Peacekeepers keep  to their order for preserving the integrity of the Mansion. The sight impresses me. 

The stairs are deserted and we climbed them back without anyone noticing. Peacekeepers are no where to be seen, spread thin guarding gates and searching for me and Finnick I guess. 

The light on Snow's office is out to Finnick dismay.  The first signs of dawn find us trying to get inside the office, sooner or later Snow must come back and we will be there, waiting.  

Gale manages to open the window by the first burst of light announcing the sun is soon to follow when a sound, so soft it was almost imperceptible, calls my attention. Unaware to all of them I step out a few meters and look around the corner. 

On the back of the Mansion, waiting, rests a familiar silhouette. The dents  identify it to my eyes; the dents it got from escaping the Nut didn't prevent the hovercraft from delivering the news and provide Snow with a escape route. The patches of roses it crushed when it rested over them are now free from the hovercraft weight as the soft humming of the motors keeps it floating a few inches from the ground. The realization hit's me, Snow is making a run for it. 

I turn back to call for Finnick but my words are muffled by the sound of fighting, now much closer, and screams, kids, adults, the screaming doesn't end, the front-line as reach the City Center as is closing on the Mansion fast, too fast for the Capitol citizens running for protection. 

The humming from the Hovercraft is now louder; Snow, his imperial stance hard to disguise, enters, the doors close and immediately the hovercraft gains height. Too late I recognize my mistake, I should had put it down before it was airborne, if it turns to escape we would have lost the opportunity to get Snow. 

I reach for a red arrow, a last resort, and take aim; but where? My usual target, the gun, is closed. I target what I know is the engine location. The blast makes the hovercraft shift, the sound of it alerts everyone around both to the situation as to my location. 

From friend to foe, everyone now knows where I am, I hear people getting closer, running, not only on the balcony pavement but also down there on the garden, and the kids, the kids sound closer. A grab another arrow as the Hovercraft turns away, but it blows up before it touches it, set by the heat blasting from the engines. 

I watch as Snow flies to safety unaware that I'm not the only one shooting at the hovercraft anymore. 

"Katniss." 

I smile to Peeta. 

"I'm okay." 

Only now I see that even the Peacekeepers are shooting the hovercraft. 

"What...?" 

"I guess they never expected Snow to leave them behind." 

"They look mad, that's for sure." 

Gale comments a bit in disbelief, his gun ready, like my bow. 

"Katniss." 

A familiar voice comes out of the bursting crowd that now fills the garden. 

"Cressida?" 

I spot her and her team on the balcony, near the gate Rebels go trough without resistance, Peacekeepers stopped fighting a battle that is lost after seeing their leader flee. I hold Cressida as Gale walks to Commander Paylor, the first Rebel Leader arriving the Mansion. 

"So glad to see you, Cressida." 

"You did it." 

"Not quite. Snow escaped." 

"It's just a matter of time, he has no where to go." 

I keep silent, wishing it to be true. 


	66. New President

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As Rebels take over no one knows where Snow is. Katniss tells Peeta about the conversation she and Finnick heard between Snow and Coin. Being that Coin is one of the leaders of the revolution, Katniss is doubtful she will be believed. Peeta insists that at least Gale, the one closest to Coin, should know. As they talk to Gale he expresses doubts mainly because he doesn't understand why would Coin give anything to Snow to get something that was already hers? Still he always trusted Katniss and this is not the time he would fail believing in her.

 

I look around the room in disbelief. Having found no resistance the Rebels were quick to take over the Mansion, now the center of all decisions. Everything went fast, so fast. From the window I can see the entrance to the improvised Hospital that took over the Garden right next to the Gate. Inside, I know Prim is doing what she loves. 

It was shock seeing her, I barely recognized Prim that's how much I had lost, I lost my sister growing up and turn into a woman, a woman so much better than me, so much useful and resourceful than me. And it's amazing how proud I feel, for her, for what she build herself to be. 

"They still don't know where Snow fled to." 

A renewed Peeta is a pleasure to watch, sure of himself, stepping in grounds he makes seem familiar while I'm lost in all this madness. 

"They should ask Coin." 

"Coin?" 

His surprise catches me off guard. 

"Didn't Finnick tell them?" 

"Finnick?" Peeta looks even more puzzled "Finnick went to find Annie. She's some where out there with Johanna." 

"Johanna's here?" 

"Finnick will bring her in. You mention Coin, Katniss, what is it?" 

"You know I don't like her." 

I love the small devilish smile that flows into Peeta's lips. 

"You and me both." 

"I was with Finnick, on our way to meet you... in the balcony... Coin and Snow were talking." 

The light smile leaves his face that has taken an almost angry look. 

"Talking?" 

I nod, words elude me. 

"What were they talking about?" 

Inside I'm happy he doesn't question the truthfulness of the news when they sound so preposterous, so unbelievably awful. 

"Snow was negotiating a safe haven. In 13." 

The shock blows every sign of control Peeta had left. 

"She didn't..." 

"She ended the conversation by telling Snow she would be back to him." I take a moment unsure of the wording I should use "He offered her Panem, Peeta." 

It's like someone stung him. 

"And now his gone..." 

Peeta's eyes harden. 

"It would be the perfect place to hide, 13, underground, all military, bound to silence by their High Commander. He can hide there forever." 

He talks to himself, making sense, making so much sense. 

"We have to tell Paylor, Katniss." 

"Who will believe it, Peeta? After all Coin did for the Rebellion who will believe it?" 

It hit's him, it's us against Coin, once again, and this time it's not only us in jeopardy, further more our overwhelming lack of proof will definitely be enough for anyone to deem us wrong or, worst, liars. He walks to the window looking outside. 

"Does Gale know?" 

"What? No. Only Finnick." 

"We should tell him. From all of us he's the closest to Coin, he has to know who he's dealing with." 

I fully agree. 

"Where is he?" 

Peeta nods outside and I look up in time to watch Gale going inside the Hospital. 

"Is he hurt?" 

With a knowing smile that makes me a bit uncomfortable Peeta eases my worry. 

"No. I'm sure he's just visiting." 

I watch Gale disappearing inside. Suddenly I feel watched, closed off, in this majestic room. 

"We should go." 

"What? Where?" 

"Let's go out, to the garden. We can meet Gale there." 

Peeta tries to find an answer to my sudden wish in my eyes but he doesn't question, joining me tackling the maze that are the Mansion corridors. The fresh air is a welcome feel against my skin, filling my lungs. The scent of the garden now tainted by other aromas, as we walk towards the Hospital the smell grows clear, the aseptic smell of an Hospital and human bodies too crammed together. 

We surprise Gale as he walks out. 

"Katniss." The awkward smile makes me wonder "Peeta" 

"Can we talk?" 

Peeta, to the point, gives Gale no other choice. 

"Katniss just told me something disturbing she and Finnick heard." 

Gale's attention turns to me. Peeta doesn't know, as I do, that Gale isn't quite deceived by all of Coin's act, so I too go to the point. 

"Snow offered Panem to Coin in exchange for sanctuary." 

The news baffles him but he recovers fast enough for me to understand it's not quite a surprise. 

"You knew?" 

"No. But it goes with the character if you think about it." 

"And is it to character that Coin would accept?" 

"Did she?" 

"Don't know. She was suppose to get back in touch with Snow." 

"Then... maybe she didn't." 

"Are you so blind to Coin's motives?" 

Peeta sounds upset. 

"No, not blind, just... why would she accept when she's going to get Panem regardless? Why give anything for something you already know it's yours for the take?" 

"It wasn't hers. It's not hers. There are going to be elections." 

"Are they?" 

I stop their bickering. 

"What do you know, Gale?" 

"I take your room doesn't have a TV?" 

With our silence serving as answer Gale proceeds. 

"Coin just announced she's taking over while the country rebuilds itself, only after everyone is provided and the everything rebuild she finds possible to held a fair election." 

We process the news faster as it doesn't come as a surprise. 

"As you see, she didn't need to accept Snow's deal. Still..." 

"What?" 

"It's strange how Snow wasn't seen anymore after he left the Capitol." 

"13 would be the perfect refuge." Peeta adds with a smile.

"Most definitely." Gale stops forcing us to look back at him "With Coin being Panem's self-appointed President we all better be careful about what you and Finnick heard. 

"You believe me?" 

"Did I ever not believe you, Catnip?"


	67. Coin's surprise

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Johanna, Finnick and Annie join Katniss, Peeta and Gale getting an update on Coin and her dealing with Snow.  
> In a grand, orchestrated entrance Coin arrives with a surprise.

Gale's right he had always trusted me as I trusted him even if sometimes we disagree we were always truthful to each other; still a lot was different between us, new variables, new people, we weren't just the lonely hunting partners that traveled across 12's woods together. Things are different and I'm acutely aware some of the changes are inside of us, deep enough to go unnoticed, deep enough to  

"There she is. The girl everyone is talking about." 

The words are harsh but I have to smile, I've missed Johanna. 

"Can't understand why though." her pinch makes me lose my train of thought. 

"She's good with a bow." a dazzlingly happy Finnick holding an equally happy Annie join us. 

"So? I'm good with an ax. Nobody cares about me." 

I ignore the throbbing in my arm from her pinch. 

"I care." 

That stops her, somewhat, but not for long. 

"Which comes to show how deep is your insanity." 

But she's happy. 

"You guys look so serious. What's the matter?" 

Finnick asks out of curiosity but it's clear there isn't anything on Panem that can extinguish his happiness. 

"I told them about what we heard." 

"Oh..." 

"Coin appointed herself as President of Panem." I add calling is attention further.

"And you think she accepted the deal?" 

He asks me, his smile wavering. 

"I wouldn't if I was her." 

I glimpse at Gale that stays silent. 

"If she had she wouldn't be President for long." Finnick adds. 

Johanna is witnessing our exchange with growing curiosity. 

"What are you two talking about?" 

"Snow proposed a deal to Coin. He would deliver her Panem, she would ensure his well being and provide a hiding place."  

Finnick resumes to a Johanna's not as shocked as I expected. 

"She got what she wanted. The Rebels gave it to her." 

"No. I want an election. I want to have a say, that was what was promised, to all of us." 

"Get real Peeta. People don't know what elections even are. Some months ago they had never even met anyone outside their own Districts. Only some images in a screen about the Games and the Capitol and that was about it." 

"People can think for themselves, Finnick." 

"Maybe so, but they would judge based on what they know, what they are told and what they hear. And at this moment people know destruction, people are told about the war and the enemy, people hear pain. It's hard to think straight and make a good decision now." 

"So you're with Coin?" 

"No. I'm with the need to rebuild." 

The sound of hovercrafts approxing has everyone looking up in alarm. Eyes on the wings and on the weapons but they are undoubtedly 13's hovercraft and the tension vanishes as fast as it came. 

"Coin." Gale informs. 

"I thought she was already here." 

"Big entrance, Katniss. Plutarch knows what he's doing." 

Not only Plutarch as I can identify Cinna's art as soon as a proud Coin exits the Hovercraft walking towards the Mansion. On her thread Plutarch and Boggs. 

Coin stops on top of the stairs and waits as the filming crew get's ready. 

"The war is over. Panem is free at last. We now have a hard task at hand, rebuild Panem, a new Panem, where everyone is free, everyone is heard, everyone as the right to his own opinion. A Panem of respect, a Panem build by all for all, a just Panem. The task is hard, but together we will successful. Together we will heal. Together we will destroy all that divided us, with Justice we will judge and will be judge, starting with our oppressors." 

From the hovercraft a Squad comes out, in formation, like a human cage around Snow. The surprise spreads beyond the Mansion gates. 

"Starting with Coriolanus Snow. He will be judge, there will be a trial. Justice will be served." 

It was like something I was watching in the screen and not in real life. Around us people rejoice, happy, like finally it was really over. 

We stand, watching a victorious Coin disappear inside while a shade of what was once President Snow is herd through a side door. 


End file.
